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  • #16
    Dear Wish, ARQU, Aqula18, etc. my situation is very similar to wish's - I am a conditional PR and my USC wife doesn't want to be with me anymore...But she said she'd help me. That was several months ago and I've beeen considering the possibilities and reading the posts but all they do is scare me that if I get divorce it will be hard for me to get my greancard. So I've been living in fear, sleeping on the couch and I've been chainsmoking while my "wife" is going out and having *** with the guy she was cheating on me with...in the Victoria's Secret night robe that I gave her as a present...How cool is that. And after suffering for 5 months I accidentally found a note that she probably intended to give to me saying that she want's me out of her life and that she still loves me and blah blah blah...
    Bottomline: now i know I want a divorce because I can't take it anymore...She used to be the sweetest girl but...
    The only problem is that I'm scared and I'm wondering:
    * should I get divorce after I send my I-751 jointly just so I can go for an interview tell them that I'm divorced, re-file and get an extra year or so processing time before I get deported just to save some money to lean on back home, where I have no opportunities
    or
    * should I get divorced now and cross my fingers that the leases, the credit cards, and the $9000 that we've got in our joint checking will make BCIS think that I deserve to be a resident?

    I'm also wondering - is it going to help me with the BCIS if the reason for the divorce is adultery (cheating)...
    Sorry about the messed up message but I've been messed up myself for awhile and even don't know who I am anymore.
    I thank anyone who helps me with some info or opinion.

    Comment


    • #17
      How long have you been married, and when did you get your conditional green card?

      Comment


      • #18
        Also, does the state in which you reside require grounds for divorce, or any mandatory separation period before divorce?

        Comment


        • #19
          Wish:

          I am not an attorney, I just have a complicated I-715 pending as you might have! I will go to law school after I get my undergard though.

          Mbg:

          I am sorry about your situation, you really touch me. When do you have to file your I-751, I would not pursue divorce at anytime until your I-751 is approved, otherwise as SAMMY has stated divorce prior to filing I-751 or prior to adjudication of a JOINT FILED I-751 is almost SUICIDE in your immigration game.

          If she is willing to help you file a joint I-751 when you have to file and then move out and do your life, later update your address with BCIS so you receive your decision or your interview letter on your address.

          If you have health insurance I would suggest you to see a pshychologist not because I think you are crazy or something but because I think you are being subject to extreme mental cruelty and you must document it with a mental professional so you can later apply for the battered waiver should you need to file a WAIVER BASED I-751 in the future, and also some emotional healing won't hurt.
          Which one is the Service Center that has juridisction over you?

          If Divorce is unavoidable is better if you file first than her filing divorce, then you should file for ADULTERY and EXTREME MENTAL CRUELTY if these two are GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE in the STATE THAT YOU RESIDE. So you can prove to BCIS that is not your fault rather your usc spouse the one at fault on this marriage failure.

          You should have Income Tax FILED JOINTLY WITH YOUR WIFE that is the MOST IMPORTANT FINANCIAL EVIDENCE BCIS LOOKS AT.

          I hope that helps if you have more questions I am here to help you.

          Good luck to you!

          [This message was edited by aguila18 on November 03, 2003 at 09:49 PM.]

          Comment


          • #20
            "I would not pursue divorce at anytime until your I-751 is approved, otherwise as SAMMY has stated divorce prior to filing I-751 or prior to adjudication of a JOINT FILED I-751 is almost SUICIDE in your immigration game."

            Hi aguila so many people who consider the waiver will file for divorce beforehand. You are telling to file after approval. Why would that be? I mean the I-751 tells us that if we are divorced to file the waiver. I just want to understand more the process on why that would be "suacide"

            Comment


            • #21
              Less than 50% of waivers are approved in cases of divorce . Aquilla is telling you to go for the sure thing. get approval then file for divorce. Ins doesnt care after that. procedures were followed.

              Yes. a lawyer will tell you to get that divorce quickly if you know that there will absoulutely be a divorce. this way you can file for the waiver when the 90 days before your conditions to be removed come due. or for the option to come available to you if the joint petition would come up for interview when a couple has already divorced. One of the parties just in seperation is not qualified to file a waiver.. therefore would go out of status and be subject to deportation proceedings. Do you understand now. The advice being given is based on 2 different scenarios.

              Comment


              • #22
                4now:

                Where are you getting those success approval numbers from? Would you give me a source? Were you referring to MARRIAGES IN GOOD FAITH WAIVERS ONLY or to all kinds of waivers within I-751?
                What about battered waivers based on mental cruelty?

                Comment


                • #23
                  Aguilla. yes i was talking about good faith marriage waivers. this is what i heard from someone in BCIS/Uscis. From what I understand also. the Mental cruelty waiver works very good if your story and proof are presented with the right facts. Only problem is no one seems to be willing to give a "canned scenario" about what "sure thing" those facts are. I have my own creative ideas but again. it will be up to the adjudicator to be convinced.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    4now:

                    Mental cruelty works well even if it is a MAN the one that was mentally battered?

                    I did not understand what you meant by "canned scenario" if you can give further explanation it will be appreciated.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Aguilla.. In theory gender should not matter. And then there is real life. Women can be quite brutal. I dont just mean physical abuse either. and many time even there. they are the first initiators of the physical fight and then are the "victims" when the police come. instead of the husband defending themself. There might be a situation where everyday the husband had to endure a wife throwning something at him and he never hit her back for police to be called. But still this is abuse is it not.

                      What I mean by canned scenario is . lets say a case using the same situation almost always gets approved. u know what i mean. for example a case like this....

                      Suppose a spouse was married but refused thru most of the marriage conjugal rights to the other mate. Suppose it was deliberate just to make the mate feel inadequate... Perhaps she called the spouse repeatedly ethnic slander in addition to this.. this is cruel... and making miserable marriage do u get my drift. Look for a almost "insured scenario" and adjust to fit. Have u heard of any .
                      Taking therapy for the issues help becuase those reports will be looked at closely.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I believe mental abuse is worst than physical and that is what I have been thru. I am getting documentary evidence to support this so I will apply for that waiver in case I am not successful with my pending joint I-751.

                        I have not heard about the "insured scenario" but will do research, thanks for your help!

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          We are not a bunch of criminals in this country. We came here legaly, school, worked, met someone who thought he/she was the world for us, got married, worked through it, and unfortunately things did not work out. I know I did not commit fraud as I know as many of you guys did not either. There is too much at stake. I think people need to start fearing less and knowing what they have. Simple common sense that is what it takes. Know who you are. Its the most important.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Wish... you are completely right and thats what i have been trying to tell in other topic posted by Morton...that things just don't work sometimes and that's not a fraud for GC...Thank you...Pasha

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Pasha you are with me on this! I can not believe that I have someone agreeing with me. I have encountered so many people who are giving me fear. I really would like to read about a case where BCIS just decided to deport someone when this person had the best intentions. BCIS priority should be to track foreign criminals in the U.S. terrorists, illegal aliens who have been here for years...
                              I mean as much as we read about being deported, BCIS can be facing some law suits. They are messing with people's feelings. That will get ulgy. The local BCIS in Boston is being sued for AOS delays by 4 couples. There are more stories like that.
                              In my interview for my temp green card people were telling me that they would get very personal to the point where they could ask about our intimicy. I could not believe that. That is a violation of personal/moral rights.
                              My interview ended up being less than 10 minutes and nothing of that nature was asked.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Aguila:
                                You filed the I-751 jointly right?
                                What do you mean you will file for a waiver? You already filed the I-751.

                                Comment

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