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  • Originally posted by Mrs. B.:
    MIR -

    (Most people don't interchange their p's and f's, you won't hear that in the metro area. There are some who do speak like that, they're concentrated in an area in Luzon. )
    I Know . shame On Me Was trying To Figure Where You Are From dear. bad me!!! .

    not only Luzon!

    your English And Projection Good. city girl! Manilla!???
    USC and Legal, Honest Immigrant Alike Must Fight Against Those That Deceive and Disrupt A Place Of Desirability! All Are Victims of Fraud, Both USC and Honest Immigrant Alike! The bad can and does make it more difficult for the good! Be careful who y

    Comment


    • Near, but not quite right.

      With the latest stalker in your thread, you don't expect me to be saying if I'm from Manila or not, do you?
      Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, as long as ever you can.

      --John Wesley

      Comment


      • [This is a ˜Tag-lish' joke specially dedicated to dcwtech/MIR].

        A USC guy married a young and beautiful lady from the Philippines. The guy owned a small business that made enough profit for the couple's comfortable living and future family.

        The couple mutually agreed that the lady didn't have to work so instead she just stayed as a homemaker. He had a strong fascination with her language that he is doing his best to learn it from his wife.

        One day a customer was having a heated argument with the guy's supervisor. He intervened but the customer didn't feel him to be on his side so upon leaving the premises said in his face, ˜may you burn in hell, you motherf*#@+er!' But the customer is always right so after a short talk with his supervisor he just sat the insult out in the confines of his office.

        At lunchtime he hurried home to at least find refuge in his wife's warm embrace and loving kisses. But in one intersection he nearly side-swiped another car and the driver shouted at him, ˜practice driving, you motherf*#@+er!' The guy thought, it was really a very bad day, hence, it was much better to just cuddle up with his wife and forget about work for the rest of the day.

        True enough, indeed, his wife had the table ready with his favorite dishes for lunch as she did regularly every day. But food was never on top of his mind. It was to find a faithful ally after being cussed twice just within the earlier half of that day.

        It's also his wife's habit to keep the house immaculately clean for his arrival – the yard, the garden, the patio, and everywhere else inside the house. But especially on that day, she applied onto the floor a cleaning formula she had seen on TV that left their floor not only looking clean but clear and slippery like a mirror.

        When the man walked in, his wife uttered something that caused his knees to buckle. And down on his knees he said, ˜oh, you too? Do you know that you're the third person to call me that in just half a day?"

        [What did the lady say? She told him, in reference to the floor, "dahan-dahan" (which means ˜you go slowly' in Tagalog, which the guy already knew the meaning) "madapa ka" (which means ˜you may stumble down' in Tagalog, which the guy didn't know the meaning yet.)]

        Comment


        • LMAO, RN! Good one!

          Comment


          • Cool thread RN!

            This remind me when hubby proposed to me
            singing " Bakit Na yon Ka Lang" in his southern
            accent. My mother almost passed out laughing her
            b utt off lol! He pronounced it " Batit Naon ta lan" instead.

            He was eating the " dinuguan " for years with my 3 bros twas only last xmass they told him what it is, and up to this day he still asked
            my mom to cook it.lmao!

            Comment


            • btw here's the song: for u Mrs B and RN.

              Bakit Nga yon Ka Lang

              Comment


              • Very nice song, Speed. Thanks.

                Here's another one, if you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers.....

                Q: Name the four seasons.
                A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

                Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
                A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

                Q: How is dew formed?
                A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

                Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
                A: Keep it in the cow.

                Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
                A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

                Q: What are steroids?
                A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

                Q: What happens to your body as you age?
                A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

                Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
                A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

                Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
                A: Premature death.

                Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
                A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

                Q: What is the fibula?
                A: A small lie.

                Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
                A: Nearby.

                Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
                A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

                Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
                A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

                Comment


                • PINOY JOKES

                  Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot wife. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking the
                  price for an obituary ad.

                  The ad taker said: '300 pesos for 5 words.'

                  She said: 'Puwede ba 2 words lang? 'Tanoy dead''

                  Ad taker: 'No mam. 5 words is the minimum.'

                  After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: 'Ok, para sulit, ila*** mo, 'TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE'

                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

                  Boy : Nay may ulam ba?

                  Nanay: Tingnan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.

                  Boy : Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba?

                  Nanay: O, eh di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense
                  naman dyan!
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

                  Caloy: Tay , di ba sabi mo bibigyan mo ko ng P100 kapag
                  pumasa ako sa Math?

                  Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?

                  Caloy: Gud news, tay! Nakatipid ka ng P100.
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

                  Man at 33 quits smoking. Will Power;

                  At 43, quits drinking. Will Power;

                  At 53, quits gambling. Will Power;

                  At 63, quits having ***. Power Failure.
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

                  Kano (trying to speak Tagalog): Meg-kanow isang kilow ng mang-gow?

                  Tindero: One way.

                  Kano : Meg-kanow?

                  Tindero: I sed ONE WAY.

                  Kano : Aynowng ibig sabeyhin ng one way?

                  Tindero: Isang daan. Understang?!
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

                  Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong
                  ganun kataba!

                  Loi: Saan galing ang balitang yan?

                  Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi, 'British tourist lost
                  2000 pounds.'
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

                  MMDA (with pen and ticket to a traffic violator):

                  Name?

                  Driver(Foreigner) :Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.

                  MMDA: Ahhh okay...(sabay tago ng ticket)...Next time
                  be careful, okay?
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

                  BF: Susunduin kita mamaya ha? Bubusina nalang ako
                  kapag nasa harap na ako ng bahay ninyo.

                  GF: Okey!! Anong sasakyan ang dala mo?

                  BF: Wala. Busina lang...
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

                  Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...

                  Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay isang taong laging
                  may suspicious mind, highly alert,
                  insistent personality, strong sense
                  of hearing with a killer instinct. Sa
                  tingin mo ba qualified ka?

                  Tomas: Sa pala*** ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun
                  misis ko na lang ang mag-apply?
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____


                  Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, she HAS TO.

                  But....when HE cancels a date......he HAS TWO.
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____

                  Junior: Nay, bibili ako ng HIGH CAKE.

                  Nanay: Hindi high cake, anak. HOT CAKE yun.

                  Junior: Ok 'nay, whatever. Pahingi na lang ng barya.

                  Nanay:Sige, kumuha ka lang diyan sa SOLDIER BAG ko.
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____

                  Pasyente: Magkano ang facelift?

                  Doktora : Complete treatment po ay P145,000

                  Pasyente: Ang mahal naman pala !!! Ano bang
                  pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong
                  bata?

                  Doktora : Heto tsupon, P20 lang!!
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____

                  Customer: Waiter! bakit ang tagal naman ng order ko?
                  Ilan ang cook ninyo dito?

                  Waiter : Ay sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang
                  po!!
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____

                  Pasyente: Dok, may problema ako...tuwing alas otso ng
                  umaga dumudumi ako...

                  Doktor : So, anong problema doon?

                  Pasyente: Eh, alas nuwebe po ako nagigising.

                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____

                  A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.

                  Lady sitting next asked, 'Are they your babies?'

                  Man: 'No, I work in a condom factory and these are
                  customer complaints!'
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____

                  A lawyer driving on a highway notices a crowd in an intersection. With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action, he shouted,

                  'I'M THE SON OF THE VICTIM.'

                  Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through. There he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people..a pig ***ped by a trailer truck!
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____

                  Erap: Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo.

                  Loi : Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init,
                  init !!!

                  Erap: Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2
                  coats.
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______

                  MANNY PAKYAW

                  Reporter: Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag
                  congressman ka na?

                  Manny : Ano'ng bill? yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng
                  bawat round sa bukseng?
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______

                  HOLDAP

                  Lola : Amang, wala akong pera!

                  Holdaper: Alam ko kung nasaan ang pera mo...[sabay
                  pasok ng kamay sa bra ni Lola]

                  Lola : Ituloy mo iho, may dollars pa sa ibaba!!
                  ____________ _________ _________ _________

                  Comment


                  • ThErE OnCe wAs a lAdY WhO WaS TiReD Of lIvInG
                    wItH MeN WhO WeRe eItHeR PhYsIcAlLy aBuSiVe, WhO
                    rAn aWaY FrOm hEr, Or wHo wErE HoRrIbLe iN BeD.
                    So sHe pUt aN Ad iN ThE PaPeR, tHaT WaS AsKiNg
                    FoR A MaN WhO:

                    1) wOuLd tReAt hEr nIcElY
                    2) WoUlDn't rUn aWaY FrOm hEr,
                    3) WoUlD Be gOoD In bEd.

                    tHrEe wEeKs pAsSeD, aNd tHeRe wAs nO RePlY FrOm
                    AnY MaN. sO ShE JuSt fIgUrEd tHaT ThErE WaSn't a
                    MaN AlIvE WhO CoUlD LiVe uP To tHeSe eXpEcTaTiOnS, sO ShE JuSt gAvE Up. BuT ThEn, OnE DaY ShE HeArD ThE DoOrBeLl rAnG. sHe aNsWeReD It, AnD ThErE On tHe fRoNt pOrCh wAs a mAn iN A WhEeL ChAiR WhO DiDn't hAvE AnY ArMs oR LeGs. ThE MaN SaId "I'M HeRe aBoUt tHe aD YoU PuT In tHe pApEr. As yOu cAn sEe, I HaVe nO ArMs sO I CaN'T BeAt yOu, AnD I HaVe nO LeGs sO I CaN'T RuN AwAy fRoM YoU."

                    tHe wOmAn rEpLiEd, "yEs, BuT ArE YoU GoOd iN
                    bEd?"

                    AnD ThE MaN SaId wItH A SmIrK On hIs fAcE, "HoW
                    dO YoU ThInK I RaNg tHe dOoRbElL?"
                    Everything comes in circles ....... The old wheel turns, and the same spoke comes up. It's all been done before, and will be again.

                    Comment


                    • Jasmin: Wow! It's so beautiful a poetic piece, so please allow me to translate it into English. Yet if the translation happens to be imperfect, mine is the responsibility.

                      Originally posted by Jasmin:
                      awww...this thread refreshes the memories of good ole' days spent in Lucena City (Quezon Province)...


                      Kalahati ng mundo ay natutulog, at ang kalahati naman ay gising...

                      Half of the world is asleep, the other half is awake.

                      ang kalahat ay naririnig ang pintig ng kanilang mga puso, at ang kalahati naman ay pinakikinggan ang kasawian nito.

                      Half can hear the beat of their hearts, while half can hear their frustrations.

                      Sa pangkalahatan, isa lamang akong manlalakbay. Itanong mo sa akin ang nais mong malaman...

                      But overall, I'm just a humble traveler. Ask me then what you want to know...

                      Napakahaba na ng aking nilakbay, pero ni hindi ko pa makita ang hangganan nito...

                      Very far did I travel, but my destination remains unseen...

                      Ngunit nasa kalangitan ang mga tala
                      at alam kong gagabayan nila ako...

                      Yet I know that the stars are always up above and I know that they'll stay as my guide...

                      Kapag nagliliwanag sila sa aking buhay
                      Alam kong may maganda pang bukas na darating...

                      As long as their light guides my life I know that a brighter day will come...

                      Hindi ko hahayaang talunin ako ng dilim,
                      mahaba na ang aking nilakbay....

                      I will never let myself to be vanquished by darkness, I have already traveled very far....

                      Nakaranas na ako ng kasawian
                      Nakaranas na ako ng labis na kasiyahan...

                      I tasted defeat I tasted extreme joy...

                      Kung saan ako mapapadpad bukas
                      ay di ko alam...

                      Wherever I will be whisked away by tomorrow I don't know...

                      Hanggang sa pinakamadilim na disyerto
                      Hanggang sa pinakamalalim na niyebe...

                      Till the darkest desert Till the deepest snow...

                      Pasulong, maglalakbay akong laging pasulong...

                      Forward, will I keep on journeying forward...

                      (The rest are repeated lines).

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Rough Neighbor:
                        [This is a ˜Tag-lish' joke specially dedicated to dcwtech/MIR].

                        A USC guy married a young and beautiful lady from the Philippines. The guy owned a small business that made enough profit for the couple's comfortable living and future family.

                        The couple mutually agreed that the lady didn't have to work so instead she just stayed as a homemaker. He had a strong fascination with her language that he is doing his best to learn it from his wife.

                        One day a customer was having a heated argument with the guy's supervisor. He intervened but the customer didn't feel him to be on his side so upon leaving the premises said in his face, ˜may you burn in hell, you motherf*#@+er!' But the customer is always right so after a short talk with his supervisor he just sat the insult out in the confines of his office.

                        At lunchtime he hurried home to at least find refuge in his wife's warm embrace and loving kisses. But in one intersection he nearly side-swiped another car and the driver shouted at him, ˜practice driving, you motherf*#@+er!' The guy thought, it was really a very bad day, hence, it was much better to just cuddle up with his wife and forget about work for the rest of the day.

                        True enough, indeed, his wife had the table ready with his favorite dishes for lunch as she did regularly every day. But food was never on top of his mind. It was to find a faithful ally after being cussed twice just within the earlier half of that day.

                        It's also his wife's habit to keep the house immaculately clean for his arrival – the yard, the garden, the patio, and everywhere else inside the house. But especially on that day, she applied onto the floor a cleaning formula she had seen on TV that left their floor not only looking clean but clear and slippery like a mirror.

                        When the man walked in, his wife uttered something that caused his knees to buckle. And down on his knees he said, ˜oh, you too? Do you know that you're the third person to call me that in just half a day?"

                        [What did the lady say? She told him, in reference to the floor, "dahan-dahan" (which means ˜you go slowly' in Tagalog, which the guy already knew the meaning) "madapa ka" (which means ˜you may stumble down' in Tagalog, which the guy didn't know the meaning yet.)]
                        Very Nice RN,

                        unfortunately the Nice woman In This storry Doesnt even Come close! LOL. My Slippery Floor cosisted Of Gallons of cooking Oil, Yes Nice and Shiny Too! And Actually i Did slip several Times And still suffering back troubles To This day. Immaculate House? Unfortuneately not. LOL. I Did Get Lots of Exsercise however, Picking up After everyone. . did i mention The lack of sleep from Karaoke 4 days a week until 4 a:m. Or The Shabu And other Things. As Well as nightmares Of my Last Night Due To Lack of common Sense and the House burning Down While i slept. LOL. Is Ok Guys I can Laugh Now. and Thanks.

                        I Got It Though Thanks.
                        USC and Legal, Honest Immigrant Alike Must Fight Against Those That Deceive and Disrupt A Place Of Desirability! All Are Victims of Fraud, Both USC and Honest Immigrant Alike! The bad can and does make it more difficult for the good! Be careful who y

                        Comment


                        • For you, MIR
                          Have all the good s.ex you can, in all the ways you can, for as long as ever you can !

                          -- Sabuntium The Great

                          Comment


                          • Not sure If That effacesent oil really works For Stomach Aches Though??? But It Makes For Nice Backrubs . P.S. Not From The EX!!!"
                            USC and Legal, Honest Immigrant Alike Must Fight Against Those That Deceive and Disrupt A Place Of Desirability! All Are Victims of Fraud, Both USC and Honest Immigrant Alike! The bad can and does make it more difficult for the good! Be careful who y

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Sabuntium:
                              For you, MIR
                              Siggy "Si Ge"
                              USC and Legal, Honest Immigrant Alike Must Fight Against Those That Deceive and Disrupt A Place Of Desirability! All Are Victims of Fraud, Both USC and Honest Immigrant Alike! The bad can and does make it more difficult for the good! Be careful who y

                              Comment


                              • Enjoy!
                                Have all the good s.ex you can, in all the ways you can, for as long as ever you can !

                                -- Sabuntium The Great

                                Comment

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