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John Doe:
Once again I agree with Sammy that a marriage should be given all of its chances before considering an end to it. Of course, that is your decision only...and we cannot spurr you to consider reconciliation IF you have already shut that option down.
I can say, however, that on the one hand, as a pro-marriage person in the eyes of incredible adversity, I do find that I can continue to respect your decision - as it is clear to me that your interest in this woman from day one was obviosly for love and not for Green Card benefit - otherwise you would consider Your options above anything else.
I'd like to take this time, to clear up a post...I am not against aliens - NEVER have been - NEVER will be. I also do not think that ALL aliens are interested in the Green Card - but there are SOME who are. I dont know who posted that - perhaps it was PAddy, but it is not true.
I am pro-marriage and against anyone who would USE marriage for ulterior motives. There is a clear distinction and it needs to be said. -
JohnDoe:
to answer your question to Sammy about if you stay does that mean that you are condoning the adultery...the answer is no. Adultery often times starts out as highly clandestine - and more often than not the offended party in the marriage has no knowledge and then slowly as more evidence appears, begins to suspect and then at some time or another becomes more and more aware of the facts and has to arrive at the obvious conclusion.
If you value the marriage and want to work things out - you would be prepared as a couple to move forward and try to rebuild the trust in each other. This does in no way suggest condonation - but rather that reconciliation of your marriage is of the utmost importance to both of you.
There is only one point that you should be clear on, and that is if you perceive that your best course of action would be to seek an annulment based upon fraudulent intent in the marriage on the part of your wife, then the victim of such fraud, once this has been discovered should NOT resume normal marital relations or cohabiting as husband and wife afterwards - as to do so would extinguish any claims from that position.Comment
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I believe that the marriage is a lot of hard work but how come someone keep trying to work it out when the other party has such big disrepect for their union to the point of commiting adultery repeteadly and admiting that only want to stay with her husband because of financial conditions....... evidently JD is not ready to be married... at all levels...Comment
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Aguila:
I have not ap[prised myslef of JohnDoe's personal contribution to the marriage - I was referring to his wife's breach of trust by taking another lover. Of course, if they both participated outside the marriage then I would concur with your opinion that neither of them are ready for the commitment which is associated with marriage.
However..it sometimes surprises me how quickly some of us who think we were commited to the union- find another with whom to share our lives. Doesn't it?Comment
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Sammy:
Thank you for bringing up the wife's weight comment. This bothers me along with the haste to just "slam the door on the marriage." However, this is also a normal reaction to a spouses infidelity. It doesn't matter if the third party happens to be a woman, the shock and pain are still the same.
JohnD:
Like Sammy said, adultery is hard to prove. Even more so with l.e.s.b.i.a.n.s as I posted in another thread about the New Hampshire divorce case.
Your fear of AIDS is very real. They say AIDS is less likely to spread between females, however, some l.e.s.b.i.a.n.s hang around with g.a.y males.
When I was in the community, many g.a.y men hit on me. All it takes is ONE mistake. You don't know where her lover has been, or if they used protection. (Yes, there is safe l.e.s.b.i.a.n s.e.x.)
Besides AIDS, there are other nasty incurable STD's (S.e.xually Transmitted Diseases) out there. You are very wise to stop relations for the time being. I hate to say it, but even kissing is dangerous.
Then, again, your wife may have just eaten a tuna sandwich.
I think I'll go back to school and become a lawyer. Hopefully by then, g.a.y marriages will be legal and I can be a l.e.s.b.i.a.n divorce lawyer and use my "tuna defense."
Sweet Madame BeluComment
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sammy, i'm very sorry to intrude on this discussion with an appeal to you to consider responding to a post that i will make later tonite titled--"SAMMY, facing deportation hearing-town where live wants me as citizen"
i will try to give complete outline of my life.
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR POSTS FOR OTHERS. they are so appreciated by all. chuckComment
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Rug munching queefer.Comment
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JohnD:
No, at this moment, I am not a l.e.s.b.i.a.n.
Dane:
You talkin' to me?Sweet Madame BeluComment
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Jo ...
Can you give me some lesson / knowledge abt this l e s b i ... Stuff ....
So I can deal better .... I m totally zero in all this kinda stuff 
...I can't leave mine...will feel guilty for rest of my life... PLZ... 
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Sammy...
Once again thanks for all ur threads here today... I guess we can publish one book " general guideline" with all ur replies ...and that will be really useful ... to everybody in general ...in future...that's what I m doing...saving all ur replies ever since I started visiting this website.... Thanks a lot.......PashaComment
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Pasha:
Some l.e.s.b.i.a.n.s wear really big watches.Sweet Madame BeluComment
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Wow..That's it ? It wont help me... ... u want me to give me e mail here
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Hey JD let me jump in here real quickly ... Don't get that much worried about HIV in ur case... First of all u got to understand HIV and AIDS are 2 different things... will make it shorter...HIV is just infected person and AIDS is full blown disease....sure I will never advise u not to take any precaution but here I m giving you type of s*e*x* and chances of getting
Male-male H o m o s e x u a l --- Maximum chances --- very risky
Male – Female ( Normal Intercourse) :-
Female has maximum chance to get infected... Male is still safer than female. Yeah if act takes place during MC period then chances are high for male.... If female partner is high risk person ( Drug, p r o s t i t u t e ) chances are 1 out of 10
Niddle stick – 1 out of 50
Even direct HIV infected blood transfusion - 2 out of 3
And l e s b i a n --- minimum chances ....
So just don't be prejudiced .... But be careful.... Have a good night to everybody...PashaComment
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JD ...
I know u have made up ur mind but let me tell you something here... the mental status you have right now ... I had the same couple of months ago and I just wanted to get out from this relation and forget about everything...if u read my very first posts .... They were really selfish little bit... I didn't even care about any d a m n result regarding immigration...coz I knew even if I were placed in that condition I would have dig the matter till end...coz never did anything wrong and God always helps me.....So Time is the best solution for everything... then I realized that if I can work on marriage and save it ... that will be the best thing... I know it is hard...even now sometimes I get flashback and get real disturb... but this is life... and if I leave her ...she will be in such position from everywhere...that she will probably never come out from that...and she needed and needs my help to come out... and I know once she realizes all this... she will be the best person I could ever meet... I know that for fact...and she is realizing everything and all my moves / forgiveness right now slowly...
Other thing there is no guarantee ... trust me.... That new person you meet will be the way you want... No guarantee at all.... One or other thing will be wrong all the time...then what u gonna do? We are not God...so got to adjust somewhere and try to make the way we want...And at one time in your life you will still be placed in some troublesome situation where you will have to work on that.... I might be young in age but can tell you from lots of experiences and what I have seen around... so its not worth ... to lose the battle unless its just impossible and cant take it no more.... And that's why only my first reply to you was ...calm down once...u don't need to hurry abt divorce...take some more time and short things out.... This is just a friendly advice ...so plz don't take it other way.... Good luck JD ... PashaComment
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