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SAMMY - I was served divorce papers from my aduletrous alien spouse today, Now what?

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  • #16
    Just a comment, Michael.

    You also said that if your alien ex-wife gets deported, then justice will be served, and I can really understand you thinking that way. I realize that this board seems to be pro-alien, and I think that this is great, as the immigration procedures are confusing enough, and I can quite imagine the concern that an alien might have about proper protocol and procedure. This board serves aliens well in that regard. Were I to be emmigrating to another country I would thank God for a message board like this to make enquiries and research the "ins and outs" of immigration. But there are also some cases where USC's have been put through the wringer with sponsoring alien spouses, and their concerns are equally as important here on this board too.

    I am considered unreasonable to even give a thought to what options my husband could have at this point, and yet I feel entitled to wonder about it.

    The way I look at it is this. I spent nearly nine years of my life working towards the goal of spending my life with a man whom I loved and trusted dearly. The process for me involved a huge commitment, and even when our marriage fell apart, I did not give up my love for him, but continued to have hope that he could appreciate my commitment and consideration, and would at least demonstrate some respect for that.

    Yes, the almighty Green Card [The alien was willing to destroy his or her spouse's self esteem, feelings of trust, security and safety for and yet there is no consideration for the fact that when all is said and done, the Green Card is that which the USC spouse was not only offering but practially guaranteeing. PERHAPS PART OF THE CLOSURE AND HEALING that someone who has experienced the violation that you and I and possibly many others have, comes fromknowing that there may be a chance that the alien will encounter difficulties in achieving his or her ulterior motives alone.

    Comment


    • #17
      It is hard for people here who are giving advice on immigration to comment on your psychological trauma. Its been 2 years for me and I am not the kind of person who is easily traumitized. I have advanced degrees and stuff like that. It was hard for me to even believe this happened. Also September 11 was about the time it happened so it really was overwhelming. I dug deep into the core of who I am to rediscover my potential. It took a sick desperate person to do what she did. It took a codependent naive person to fall for it. Read up on codependency and self esteem and rebuild your life. Set aside a few months to really get to know yourself. Do not beat yourself up. Once you start, its hard to stop and it serves no purpose. Know that you are a kind person and sometimes kind people get hurt. But know that you overcome this and be stronger.

      Comment


      • #18
        Michael:

        Y0ou wrote that your wife fied a waiver on the basis of divorce. Am I correct in presuming that she filed a marriage-baed waiver on the grounds that it was a BONA FIDE marriage wihch ended in divorce?

        Comment


        • #19
          Yes, Bonfide marriage with divorce. However I have heard from INS, a lawyer and even from a large immigration help line that it is "An INS trick". Reading it closely, thats what it looks like. I don't see why they would bother with the 2 year rule if it was that easy to get a waiver. She got married and I believe is pregnant or desperately trying to to create a hardship case. And I know as soon as she is able to, she will abandon her new husband and child. Sometimes you hear that someone is "sickening" without understanding the implications of what that means. She really has made me sick and others including her family. You are on the precipice of becoming sick with your obsession. They will do what they have to do to stay here because they have no place to go to. When they realize that they made a mistake and burned their bridges, they get more deperate. But you must let it go and not take it personally. They never loved you and never will. Don't let their sickness become yours.

          Comment


          • #20
            Michael:

            From what source of INS/BCIS have you heard that MARRIAGE IN GOOD FAITH WAIVER is a TRICK to the ALIEN?

            Comment


            • #21
              And as far as punishment.. think of this; could you imagine doing what they did and being able to live with yourself. For a couple of years you and I will be shocked and hurt by what they did. In 5, 10, 20 years, time will heal the wounds and we will find new loves and these people will become forgotten memories. For them, for the rest of their lives, they will have to live with themselves and believe me, there is no way that what they did will not show up to hurt them even if it is not apparent to them. I could begin to see elements of alcohol and drug abuse patterns in the ex towards the end and when I saw her a year later, she was barely recognizable. At 25, she became a bitter, broken, financially destroyed pathetic divorced woman desperately clinging to a few dollars and a green card instead of the bright eyed, ambitious, full of life and optimism girl that I married only 3 years earlier. She will turn 30, 40, 50, maybe reach 60 and live with this on her conscience. She will undoubtedly endure at least a second INS interview and many sleepless nights before that. Certainly her desperate second marriage will fail. Of course theres the bottle, the pills and other destructive outlets to hide it, but it is there and will only worsen in time. And it won't matter, in the end, if they die in their own pathetic existance here alone or in Estonia with their family. And the green card and the money won't give them an extra moment of life or of happiness. They will die as they lived; as liars, cheaters, and as frauds and that will be their mark on this world. Personally, I can not think of a worse fate. When I die, I will die as I have lived, with honor and with love. You can't buy those with a green card.

              Comment


              • #22
                Michael:

                I am sorry to hear about your story. I hope you can move on with your life and find a REAL woman.

                Would you answer me my question:

                "From what source of INS/BCIS have you heard that MARRIAGE IN GOOD FAITH WAIVER is a TRICK to the ALIEN?"

                As a background I am in the other side of the story, I am alien who still married to a very abusive usc woman, who put me under a constant threat of getting deported when I never married her for that purpose, I have already filed jointly a I-751 but is taking forever and might have to file a new I-751 under waiver provisions, and I am interesting in knowing outcomes or approval rates for MARRIAGE IN GOOD FAITH I-751 WAIVER BASED CASES.

                That is why I am interested in knowing more about your post regarding INS tricking with that waiver.

                Comment


                • #23
                  I heard this from an immigration counselor. Of course you can find 10 others that say that it is not a trick. All agree that it depends on the strength of the evidence you have. If you filed taxes together, had children, owned real estate, contributed to the household, made a real attempt at the marriage then I would see no problem. But then again, if this was the case, I would think 99 % of USC sponsors would have no problem helping by delaying divorce or providing an affadavit. No USC marries to get divorced. But there are aliens who marry to get a green card and a divorce imagining some fantasy life in Oz. All they do is bring their own personal problems with them. Who knows what BCIS will do, but you have to ask yourself honestly how it looks. Have you really made an attempt at making the marriage work ? IS your wife abusive for no reason or did you do something to cause it ? My "wife" cheated on me and stole from me and then claimed that I abused her because I got angry. Duh. When told that this wouldn't work without evidence, she changed her story that it was a good faith marriage but does not have any (real) evidence to back it up. Do you have any real evidence ? What evidence ? And if you are not married to a USC, what is your purpose in staying ? I think, as always, the truth will prevail. If you can honestly claim a bonafide marriage then you should have all the evidence to prove it and it will be successful. And if it is unsuccessful, then you should not be unduly upset to return home to be with your family where I would imagine most people would prefer to be. Please don't take this the wrong way, I would like to really hear your side of the story as honestly and as factually as you can. And if you can, what is your wifes true feelings on this ?

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Dear Swissnut:

                    Before I move any further in my opinions, I assume that you knew that I don't give my opinions just to make people feel good or what they want to hear out of me, instead I give my opinion based upon my experiences, my ideology, laws and facts that I knew. People don't need to agree with me if they don't want to, because these opinions are Mine, and not theirs. I am entitled to mine as they are entitled to theirs. I don't give opinions to offend anyone, even though sometimes it sounds unsypathetic to someone's situation. To me- it's better people know EVERYTHING rather than only part of their option. I am not that type of attorney, who tries to make their customers feel better for his fees, instead of telling them truth and whole information about their case.

                    With that keep in mind, it doesn't matter to me whether someone is an immigrant or USC. If you will notice on this Board, you will find that I've given my opinions to everyone regardless of their nationalities. However, it is very important to me to know whom I am dealing with. I meant-in order me to give right and correct opinions in a given situation, I should know whether the situation is related to an immigrant or USC, so that I could help them in a best possible way thru laying all the possible options for them in their situations. I am not questioning your immigration status or nationality here since it doesn't matter to me, and I do believe in you when you said that you are an USC, but I am trying to comprehend-Why you always ask immigration questions when you don't have any immigration issue and will never be, if you are an USC? If you notice your all posts, especially on this thread, almost all your concerns and questions [except very few] are related to only Immigration- Why? It's good if are you trying to help others on this board thru asking those questions, but I stongly believe you should be more concerned to your specific situation RIGHT NOW, instead of others. Forget about them. Let them post their problems when they would be in those situations, since they will post those questions anyhow if they need some information, as they have been doing it ever since. Even though you've asked some questions that were related to your option on divorce case, but I personally did not see you asking lots much about divorce matter as you've been asking on immigration matter time to time for a long time.

                    I am not saying that I don't want to answer on your immigration questions, because I do very much, but I am very much confused on why are you asking those immigration questions? Even if someone will give you more and more answers on those questions, it wouldn't make any difference because- only thing you can do in the end as what I already told you earlier on my above post. You cannot do anything else, trust me, even if you want your husband to be deported or something else. It's BCIS's job to figure it out, and your concerns should only be- to do the right thing, that is. If I were you, I won't be asking even a single question on immigration, instead I should be asking-how can I secure my best interests on divorce matters.

                    Specifically, at this stage of your situation, your time, engery, efforts and yourself should be more focused on yr divorce case, instead of those Immigration questions that has nothing to do with your status at all. It's not that you are irritating me or others, but people are very much confused when you are asking and worried about those immigration questions instead of other things in your life like divorce matters. I know it doesn't matter to you what I or other think about you or about your status, but I believe you will agree that they are right in thinking that you are an immigrant yourself,who is seeking all the immigration questions pertaining to a situation like yours, especially your all questions are related to immigration only. I, myself now belive that you are indeed an immigrant, who wants to know everything to handle this situation well. But again, I belive in you when you said that you are an USC, as well it doesn't matter to me whether you are an immigrant or USC. I am here to seek your best interests.

                    Nevertheless, I would answer your immigration questions. You asked: "Will your husband be able to file a waiver under either bonafide or mental cruelty". So, the answer is- Yes, but it will all depend of his particular situation and the documentary evidences that he would have to support his waiver application. This question being asked by lots of people over many times, and being discussed in very details. I think it would be waste of my time and yours in discussing this matter again in details. But I want you to know that- Even though someone is eligible to file I-751 based upon waiver provision, in reality-it is very very hard to get waiver, otherwise everyone can get it easily after divorce. As you know everyone can and willing to prove the bonafide of their marriage with tons of evidentiary documents, but it doesn't mean that Govt should grant them permanent status here even though law is telling them to give. Actually, if you read this waiver law carefully, it does state there that it will all depend on BCIS district director how s/he would find the situation as just. So, the fact is- it would be very hard for an alien to get approval on waiver when alien is no more with petitioning USC-spouse. Why should Govt give P.residency to an alien who is no longer married to petitioning USC-spouse? Does anyone thinks- just because they WERE married to USC, or they can prove "BONAFIDE" of their marriage with Petitioning USC-spouse? The truth is- it is very hard to get waiver, plain and simple. But again, you should not be worried and asked this question, because it should be asked by your husband, an immigrant.

                    Then you also stated that your husband's case is likely not adjudicated "YET"?". The fact is-you can not assume anything, even if your assumption is based upon the processing time on INS website in respect to pending I-751. A

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Please everyone; please have patience with Swissnut. I understand her. There are many support boards for immigrants. There are many organizations for immigrants. There are many special lawyers for immigrants. Immigrating is a very difficult thing and I salute those, like my grandparents, who come here for a better life and for love of America. But there are people who are not in love with America and who just want a quick buck. They take advantage of our kindness and of our people. They are a disgrace to all legal and law abiding immigrants. for the victims of immigration fraud, there are no bulletin boards, support groups or lawyers to help us. We are portrayed as bitter dumped spouses. Sometimes we are called "abusers" without any benefit of trial. No where else in any judicial system can someone be convicted of abuse without a trial or without the right to defend themselves. This is a travesty of justice. And if you don't think emotional pain for a crime you did not commit is not some kind of punishment then you are wrong. And there is nothing more painful to look for help and be shunned. So welcome Swissnut, not as an opponent of immigration, but as someone who believes, as I do, and as most people here do, in legal immigration. I found this, like Swissnut to get answers and maybe offer help if I can.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Michael,
                        I just read your posts from 10/16 and what you've said is very interesting and hopefully helpful to Swissnut as well. I'm very sorry you've had to go through what you have, just like I'm sorry Swiss has had to go through what she has. You are seeing your X deteriorate before your eyes, so to speak, because of her behavior and basically her "character". It is not always that immediate but I do believe that in the end people do get what they deserve. You have made some very helpful statements though and it sounds like you've done, and are doing, what you need to do to be stronger and happier as time goes by. I hope that Swiss can do the same.

                        Swiss,
                        I understand the planning, etc. but it sounds like now is the time to ACT, do the best you can, and let the chips fall where they may. If you aren't sure to withdraw that I-751 in time then he is in.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Dear Swissnut:

                          Before I move any further on my opinions, I assume that you knew that I don't give my opinions just to make people feel good or what they want to hear out of me, instead I give my opinions based upon my experiences, my ideology, laws and facts that I knew. People don't need to agree with me if they don't want to, because these opinions are Mine, and not theirs. I am entitled to mine as they are entitled to theirs. I don't give opinions to offend anyone, even though sometimes it sounds unsympathetic to someone's situation. To me- it's better people should know EVERYTHING rather than only little part of the information related to their situation. I am not that type of attorney, who tries to make their customers feel better for his fees, instead of telling them truth and whole information about their case.

                          With that keep in mind, it doesn't matter to me whether someone is an immigrant or USC. If you will notice on this Board, you will find that I've given my opinions to everyone regardless of their nationalities. However, it is very important to me to know whom I am dealing with. I meant-in order me to give right and correct opinions in a given situation, I should know whether the situation is related to an immigrant or USC, so that I could help them in a best possible way thru laying all the possible options for them in their situations. I am not questioning your immigration status or nationality here since it doesn't matter to me, and I do believe in you when you said that you are an USC, but I am trying to comprehend-Why you always ask immigration questions when you don't have any immigration issue and will never be, if you are an USC? If you notice your all posts, especially on this thread, almost all your concerns and questions [except very few] are related to only Immigration- Why? It's good if you are trying to help others on this board thru asking those questions, but I stongly believe you should be more concerned to your specific situation RIGHT NOW, instead of others. Forget about them. Let them post their problems when they would be in those situations, since they will post those questions anyhow if they need some information, as they have been doing it ever since. Even though you've asked some questions that were related to your option on divorce case, but I personally did not see you asking lots much about divorce matter as you've been asking on immigration matter time to time for a long time.

                          I am not saying that I don't want to answer on your immigration questions, because I do very much, but I am very much confused on why are you asking those immigration questions? Even if someone will give you more and more depth answers on those questions, it wouldn't make any difference anyway, because- only thing you can do in the end as what I've already told you earlier on my above post. You cannot do anything else, trust me, even if you want your husband to be deported or something else. It's BCIS's job to figure it out, and your concerns should only be- to do the right thing, that is. If I were you, I won't be asking not even a single question on immigration, instead I should be asking-how can I secure my best interests on divorce matters.

                          Specifically, at this stage of your situation, your time, engery, efforts and yourself should be more focused on yr divorce case, instead of those Immigration questions that has nothing to do with your status at all. It's not that you are irritating me or others, but people are very much confused when you are asking and worried about those immigration stuffs instead of other things in your life like divorce matters. I know it doesn't matter to you what I or other think about you or about your status, but I believe you will agree that they are right in thinking that you are an immigrant yourself,who is seeking all the immigration questions pertaining to a situation like yours, especially your all questions are related to immigration only. I, myself now double thoughts on you that you are indeed an immigrant, who wants to know everything to handle this situation well. But again, I belive in you when you said that you are an USC, as well it doesn't matter to me whether you are an immigrant or USC. I am here to seek your best interests.

                          Nevertheless, I would answer your immigration questions. You asked: "Will your husband be able to file a waiver under either bonafide or mental cruelty". So, the answer is- Yes, but it will all depend on his particular situation and the documentary evidences that he would submit to support his waiver application. This question has been asked by lots of people over many times, and being discussed in very details. I think it would be waste of my time and yours in discussing this matter again in details. But I want you to know that- Even though someone is eligible to file I-751 based upon waiver provision, in reality-it is very- very hard to get waiver, otherwise everyone can get it easily after divorce. As you know everyone can and willing to prove the bonafide of their marriage with tons of evidentiary documents even if they are involved in marriage fraud, but it doesn't mean that Govt should grant them permanent status here even though law is telling them to give. Actually, if you read this waiver law carefully, it does state there that it will all depend on BCIS District Director on how s/he would find alien's situation as just in order to grant waiver. So, the fact is- it would be very hard for an alien to get approval on waiver when alien is no more with petitioning USC-spouse. Why should Govt give P.residency to an alien who is no longer married to petitioning USC-spouse? Does anyone thinks- just because they WERE married to USC, or just because they can able to prove "BONAFIDE" of their marriage with Petitioning USC-spouse? The truth is- it is very hard to get waiver, plain and simple. But again, you should not be worried and asked this question, because it should be asked by your husband[an immigrant], and not by you.

                          Then you also stated that your husband's case is likely not adjudicated "YET". The simple fact is-you can not assume anything, even if your assumption is based upon the processing time on BCIS's website in respect to pending I-751. An application or petition can still be processed earlier or later than time expected by BCIS. It all depends on many factors like- how aggressive officer is, who is assigned on a case; how smooth the verification of documents goes, how smooth processing goes with other agencies in US Govt and with foreign govt; how busy is that particular BCIS office or Service Center is; what are their main priorities; is there any complication in an application; or is there something an adjudication officer doesn't know or want to know about specific laws or facts pertaining to a case. So you see, nobody can say for sure that their application would definately be adjudicated within given timeframe. It could be more or less time. So, you don't need to speculate anything in order to make your move to withdraw it or anything like that, otherwise you would be sorry later on.

                          You also stated that-perhaps your husband thought that he would try to get the divorce over and final before the date BCIS adjudicate his petition so he could file a waiver. I don't agree and don't understand -why he has thought so if you think so, especially getting an approval is extremely hard even though someone has divorce decree and proofs of bonafide of their marriage. I also don't agree with your statement, because why he did not go thru the divorce case when he filed for it previously if he is really thinking about waiver based upon divorce decree. Why he withdrew his divorce case last time if he thinks this way to get waiver after divorce? We can not presume or speculate on what is in his mind. As well, why should you and we even care about what is in his mind or about his stregies to prevail on immigration game? It also shows that you are more worried to his immigration status than he is. It also shows that as if you are in other side of the coin. I meant I am just drawing the picture based upon your various posts, wherein your situation is seemed like that your husband is a USC and you are an immigrant. Your husband filed the divorce last time and then you were able to talk it out with him at that time, or you may have asked lots of things from him on divorce complaint thru counterclaims in order him to withdraw his divorce complaint until your I-751 is adjudicated. You've got understand when you ask these types of questions, scenario looks differently being other side of the coin. But, I still believe in you that you are an USC.

                          Then you've asked-whether BCIS would give him time until the end of divorce to file waiver if you withdraw I-751 now. Again, this question should not be asked by you [USC], and why should you even worry or want to know whether BCIS would give him time until divorce is final. It's all very puzzling. However, I will still answer you even though I don't think that I should continue discussing your husband's immigration matter for his best interests. BCIS won't give and cannot give anytime to someone, whose status is terminated. And his status would be terminated right away once they would review your request to withdraw jointly filed I-751. However, they would give him only 60 day to depart from USA and if he won't leave within the given time, then he would be subjected to detain. However, they won't come home or work to detain someone, but if your husband somehow gets involved with BCIS or any law enforcement agencies for any reasons, or if somebody calls BCIS on him, then his illegal status would be known and then BCIS would detain him and would put him on deportation proceedings. Once he would be placed on deportation proceedings, he could ask judge for continuance of his "deportation proceedings" for any reason, but you need to understand that an alien doesn't end up on deportation proceeding because he could not be able to file timely application to be legal for whatsoever reason, instead an alien is ended up on deportation proceeding because INS has found him/her illegal in this country, and Immigration Judge decides whether this person would be eligbile to gain residency or not based upon their current situation instead of future situation. Immigration judge doesn't decide I-751. Divorce decree is only relavant when an alien is dealing with BCIS on waiver provision. Immigration Judge will review the whole case from beginning and only divorce decree, and then make their judgement. They can decide whatever they feel right. As I told many times, it is very hard to win a case with immigration judge, unless that judge is very kind, trust me.

                          Then you've also asked that if you inform BCIS about your husband's fraudulent intention to be in marriage with you, would it mean that he won't be able to file a waiver. Again, you should not ask this question being an USC. You should stick to do the right things regardless he would be able to file waiver or not if you write anything to them in this nature. By the way, why you should even be worried whether he would be able to file or get waiver or not after you inform something like that to BCIS. I really don't know what is it in your mind and don't wanna know either. Well, let me answer you- it has nothing to do whether he would be able to file waiver or not, instead BCIS would pay great attention on his case,and will scrutinize his case with great extent after receiving such information. He would definately be asked for personal interview. As well, a supervisor of adjudication officer would also get involved in his case. They would verify each and every documents/information, and would ask him thousands of questions. Overall, he would go thru a very hard time to convince his position to them if someone write something like this to them. And, if you would submit some kind of solid proof to back up your suspicion, then it would be a whole different ball game. Because then, he would be investigated as a criminal point of view. However, if he can prove your speculation otherwise, as well if he would able to support his claims, then he will prevail on immigration game.

                          You've asked me:"Why your husband might be ended up in mess if he is going to get divorce over first and then file for waiver?" Well, I think this question has already been discussed numerous times that if a divorce gets final before the adjudication of jointly filed I-751 then jointly filed I-751 would be considered withdrawn automatically, and even if BCIS won't find out now at this time if someone won't report them, but they will definately would find out in the future if either person [even USC] files any kind of application with them. And then, BCIS would revoke an alien's immigration status and would deport him/her and then an alien could not be able to enter to U.S being lying to BCIS, since lying to BCIS would make them to stop the alien for lifetime unless an alien can able to prove otherwise. So, the truth is- your husband has asked to kill his immigration dream by filing a divorce before adjudication of I-751, since there never be a guarantee that he would definately gonna be prevail on waiver as he could have prevailed on jointly filed I-751. I don't think that any person, especially if s/he is so clever and foxy, in his/her right mind would ever take such step especially being so close to his immigration game, and especially when USC is not the one who is intended to file for divorce. I believe I've discussed this issue in details many times, which could give you insights that why I believe he is on a possible mess Now.

                          Then you've asked also: "Wouldn't BCIS realize in this case that a person who was in a marriage for fraudulent reason would be the one who files for divorce after sees that he has passed all the hurdles?" Again, this question should also be asked by an immigrant because it should not be your business what BCIS would think about divorce or anything. They will never contact you. He should be one, who needs to ask this question. With all due respect, it's again very puzzling to me. However, let me answer- I don't agree with you here because your husband hasn't passed any hurdles yet, instead real hurdles are just going to start now if he won't withdraw divorce case. It would be nightmares for him later if he won't realize now. Maybe, some attorneys are giving him wrong advices or he doesn't know what he shouldn't be doing. I believe the reason he wants to divorce you only now, because-maybe his mistress is preganant with his baby and they want to get married before child is born, otherwise why only now. Why he could not wait for it especially when he was waiting for so long and especially his immigration life is on stake being on cliffhanger?

                          Also, keep in mind that without any solid proof, you cannot say that he definately married you for fraudulent reasons even though you strongly believe in this. You are allowed to suspect but not to accuse someone without any proofs. Right now, it's only your words against him. Hearsay can not be used for this purpose. As well, you are forgetting that he is on advantage scale as far as proving his so called "clean" intention to immigration goes by filing divorce first before the adjudication of I-751. If he would have waited to file divorce case after the adjudication of I-751, or if you would have filed divorce case first than him, then-yes, BCIS might realize his fraudulent intention, but not in this situation where he has asked for sucide for himself by filing divorce First and before the adjudication of I-751.

                          At last, I knew that you went to an attorney and would be going again on thursday, but be careful and be determined on what do you want to achieve out of divorce case. As I said previously, if you have no proofs to support your claims, your claims would be dismissed and you would be ended up wasting too much of your time, energy, and money for nothing. Attorneys would always say something else before you retain them, but later they would force you to withdraw some or all claims, or would ask you to compromise with your spouse. That's why judges also prefer to deal with attorneys rather than parties, because during divorce-proceedings lots of emotions run between the parties. When we are talking about lawyers, I just want to crack a joke to make it clear about what people think about lawyer if you don't realize yet. By this joke, I am not offending you or anyone else, instead having some fun on the side on this difficult times. As well, I also hope that you won't think that I've offended you by my opinions on this post if you've questioned on yr motives in asking those irrelevant immigration questions. I think you should not ask any immigration question because you don't have any immigration issue, and other immigration questions which are related to you, have already been answered previously many times and long back ago on what and how you can proceed in order to secure your best interests. And, I don't know-why you are asking all other questions, but I don't want to know your reasoning either. I am here to help you either way regardless of which side of the coin you are in.

                          Here is the joke:

                          A lawyer married a woman, who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I am still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom, "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

                          "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

                          Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said that he'd look into it and get back to me.

                          Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagonstically, but he just couldn't get the system up.

                          Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliever.

                          Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the art method.

                          Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

                          Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

                          Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

                          Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it well.

                          Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was.... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited".

                          "Good", said the new husband, "but, why?"

                          "You're a lawyer. This time I know for sure I'm gonna get screwed!".

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            I just found out that my earlier post got posted by mistake even though I was not able to finish it, and I did not press any key though in order to post. Anyway, I am sorry for duplication.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Sammy:


                              First may I say I thought the joke was great...first time I have smiled in a long time...thanks...you're really a good guy at heart.

                              OK, now to answer your post, though it is very long. To satisfy all of the posters concerns..I AM A PROUD USC and I am not the alien seeking residency here. I would be happy to prove that fact on this board by posting my name, passport number, etc., etc. but for the obvious reason that I am not sure whether my husband or Mistress monitor this site...I shall refrain from doing so at this time. However, being a person of integrity and honesty, I will pledge this to all who read this board. At some time when I am no onger in a precarious position and when there is no longer a reason for me to be overly cautious, I shall be happy to fully identify myself so that all of you can be rest assured that I am the USC wife of an intending immigrant husband.

                              Now, I would also like to address your post in order. I do realize and respect that you are quite unbiased in your position and information. I was not suggesting that you are pro-alien at all. I was suggesting that there are however many posters who appear to be pro-alien and appear to be intolerant of anyone who is on the other side of the coin. Actually, in all of your answers you give the most direct and detailed information of anyone on this board. And for that, I personally, am trully grateful. You not only answer with your experience but give the probable manner in which BCIS will likely look at situations...and that information is INVALUABLE not only to me in my case, but to all who read here. I think that I represent many others opinions in that regard. Thank you for taking the time to spell out the situations for me in a clear and precise fashion.

                              You can be sure that you are dealing with the USC spouse in my case. And I belive that Ihave disclosed all the information I can given my circustances. Any confusion created by my questions, I assure you was not intended to suggest that I am actually on the other side of the situation. I was simply trying to get a handle of what my husband will encounter, so that I make the right choice. I know it is difficult to understand, but I fear that if I do something with regard to the immigration application s and I fail, given the ruthless nature of the people involved and some alledged "connections" I fear there could be some unpleasant consequences for me. I want to make sure that I don't set myself up for a problem.

                              To answer your concern as to why I was only asking immigration questions and not questions relating to my impending divorce, was because I had been criticized for commenting before on NON-IMMIGRATION ISSUES. Someone, I cannot recall who, said the site was for immigration issues and not for emotional, marital or otherwise.


                              Once again with reference to the reasons I am asking questions as to the potential outcome for my spouse, let me answer carefully with this, for fear of saying something about a person who could then threaten to sue me for slander (as has threatened in the past). My spouse is involved with a someone who in my opinion is a very cunning, determined and driven person. Known to stop at nothing to get what is wanted. It is alleged, though I have no proof, that people have been intimidated and person's professional careers have been placed in jeopardy when they have appeared to be in the way, if you know what I mean. I suspect a plot to secure the GC through me might have been inspired by this person, or at the very least and certainly conspired in it (although of course my husband was a very willing participant, too, I do agree). In the past, it is alledged that lawsuits and such are not our of the question, to place a stone in anyone's path who dares to comment go against the plan, if you know what I mena. I have reason to believe that this individaul will go crazy if my H may not be able to stay here as result of anything that I might do. I fear retaliation from both of them.

                              I cannot be sure of the status of the pending joint I751 because all I have is the receipt number, and I have tried to get the disposition of the application through the online service but all I get is that details of the case are not available thru that service. I do know that the BCIS service center Nebraska received the joint I751 and send a notice in May 2003 saying that my H's travel and work authorization as extended for one year, and to expect to hear nothing more for a period of 6-8 months (which would mean sometime between November and Janaury 2004), but that he should contact BCIS if he does not hear from them after that. I think this is the exact wording on the receipt. BUT since that time he changed his address with an AR 11, and I am assuming that BCIS thiks that this new address is where we both live, so I don't think they will send anything anymore to my address. That's why I asked about if a USC should notify BCIS that only the alien has moved for a joint application like I751.

                              You asked why he did not go thru with first divorce, and I have thought about that over and over again and I believe the only reason he did not is PERHAPS because MAYBE when he filed for divorce last year thinking that he had passed the mandatory two-year period... he MIGHT HAVE learned later thru an IMMGRATION attorney that indeed it was not two-years, but he has to be in legit marriage unitl adjudication of I751, which happens up to one year later. I don;t know this, but I suspect it. ALSO, when he filed last year, remember he had no assets in his name. Our home, business, autos were in my name. He came back to transfer them into his name only, and this I suspect is bcz someone told him (maybe IMMIGRATION ATTY) that he would need this sort of proof to prevail on a BONA FIDE marriage.

                              With regard to my ??? about reporting the fraud issue to BCIS...I have since learned from my parents that when my husband left me last year, they sent a letter to local BCIS office asking the BCIS to look carefully at the situation. I had no knowledge that they had done this uintil a few days ago, but they received no response from BCIS at all. Of course, bcz they did this without my knowledge, they didnt know that actually my H and I had filed our application at Nebraska, so I presume there letter was just thrown away by the local Office.

                              I talked about why my husband filed for divorce now bcz I think he believes that once he is divorced, while I751 is stil pending and before adjudication, he can marry the US Mistress and get GC from her, since he will be single and free to marry her. If when I withdraw the joint filed I751 he then gets out of status, then once he is divorced from me he will be able to marry her to get back in status I think.


                              Also, I finally understand why you said it was better for him to file first, although I had never looked at it this way. I thought if I filed first, he could cry to BCIS, "we were having problems, but I wanted to repair our marriage, and I needed time to work things out. So I moved out to give us space, and then look, my ANGRY USC SPOUSE FILED FOR DIVORCE - POOR ALIEN ME...GIVE ME GC PLEASE!!!!"

                              So, what you are saying is that if he has a plan to claim mental abuse, then leaving me helps to show that LIFE WITH MY TERRIBLE USC WIFE WAS UNBEARABLE! But I thought that if I didn't file for divorce first, it said to BCIS..."Hey I looe this guy and I am committed to this marriage, but it is he who doesn't want to stay in the marriage". DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW WHY I WAS ASKING AND WHY I DIDNt FILE FIRST, SAMMY

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Swissnut:

                                Your husband may appear very clever to you, but I don't think he is that clever as you think of him. Otherwise, he wouldn't have filed for divorce at this stage of immigration game. How come he was not informed by any attorney, or how come he did not realize that he is asking for a sucide if he would get divorce before adjudication of I-751? How can he be so sure about getting approval on waiver? If he really want to get status thru his mistress after divorcing you, then why did he wait so long after being married to you, when he could have married his mistress long time ago- regardless of having even conditional GC from you? How come he did not know that marrying with his mistress won't even protect him NOW from deportation if I-751 is denied or withdrawn? How come he did not know that his marriage to his mistress Now would automatically be considered for avoiding deportation, and the marriage would highly be scrutinize by immigration judge and BCIS? His marriage won't save him from placing him on deportation.

                                I still believe that you should not ask any immigration question for him, and should not worry about what BCIS would think if you would have filed for divorce FIRST. Nobody should have asked you anything, and will never ask you anything in the future. You are speculating and thinking too many questions. As well, nobody can do anything to you even if your husband or other person has told you to retailiate or made threat against you. This is America and not third world country. There are laws to protect people. If they would do anything to you, you should know that they will be spending their life in jail. And, if somebody wants to hurt you, they will do anyway no matter what. So, you can not live in fear. If you fear that much then forget about doing anything against anyone and just suffer the consequences of being married a user and abuser. In fact, they are just bluffing to scare you because they knew that you will be scared and that you are vulnerable to any fear and threat. And, you having asked all those immigration questions shows that you indeed vulnerable to any kind of fear and threat because those threat and scare made you to ask those question since you said you wanted to know the outcome of your husband, but still-WHY.Just because he and other had threatened you, you got scared, but then why are you asking all those questions when you are so much scare from them. Why as to waste your and others times, if there is no step would be taken because of fear?

                                You don't need to insist or force yourself in discussing immigration matter just because someone had told that this forum is only for immigration matters. You had choices- either don't post any immigration questions if you don't want to, Or you can post any other questions regardless of whether those are related to immigration or not. Forget about those people if you really need to seek answers for your best interests. People would comment either way. However, I still believe that you don't need to ask immigration questions just because you wanted to know possible outcome for your husband, or if somebody had told you that this is an immigration forum only, or you wanted to know what would happen to you if you take any step in doing right thing. I've told you that even though you now know what would be the possible outcome for your husband and about your all other options, it still did not change what you need to do to secure your best interest and that is- withdraw I-751 and get divorce, that is. Anything between this two options is just wasting your time, energy, money and getting panaroid about any speculation. You should not think about would, should,could, if, and, but, or...etc. You see even though you are now well knowledgable about all the possible scenario in this kind of situation, still you don't have another option than what I've told you already in order to secure your best interests.

                                In last, please try to understand that there is nothing could be done even if you ask so many questions on all kind of immigration matters, because you should not worry what would happen to your husband, otherwise don't do anything to him if you still worry about him, or if you are scared of being hurt by him or someone. I've dealt hundred of cases like yours in my life, and based on my experience, I would only say-without wasting anymore time, do a great favor on yourself- WITHDRAW I-751, divorce your husband and move on, that is. Good luck to you. Life is already to short to enjoy it, so please try to be happy, otherwise I would cheer you up thru my jokes

                                Comment

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