Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

SAMMY - I was served divorce papers from my aduletrous alien spouse today, Now what?

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • SAMMY - I was served divorce papers from my aduletrous alien spouse today, Now what?

    As you all know, I was asking what I should do about my situation...and today, I was served divorce papers by my adulterous alien husband.

    Does this change my options? Now what do I do?

  • #2
    As you all know, I was asking what I should do about my situation...and today, I was served divorce papers by my adulterous alien husband.

    Does this change my options? Now what do I do?

    Comment


    • #3
      Where is Sammy?

      Comment


      • #4
        Sign them.

        Comment


        • #5
          Find an attorney and go talk with him/her. Dont waste time.

          Comment


          • #6
            You must be the alien that needs to remove the condition; your questions and "obsession" with this subject won't make any sense in any other case...(why would you want to stay married with an adulterous spouse who has to fear immigration consequences more than the U.S. spouse?)

            There is not much you can do. Even if the divorce is not final, a pending divorce or legal separation will hinder the approval of a removal of condition in a severe way. When your spouse notifies BCIS that s/he won't sponsor your visa anymore, BCIS will take a good look. As a U.S. his adulterous behaviour won't necessarily "benefit" your case, but it might prove your point that it was not a very committed relationship from his side. Good luck!

            Comment


            • #7
              Acelaw:

              I am the uSC spouse, he is the intended immigrant, and I haver eason to believe that he only married me for the GC> I am also the i864 sponsor...and he has defrauded me out of my asstes....

              Comment


              • #8
                ...rrrrr..SHaggy? Scooby? SAMMY where are u
                Friday cliffhanger here. guess we have to Tune In Tomorrow........

                Ace. (chuckle) Im lol when I saw your post cuz for 1 minute I also thought the same that Swiss was the alien after all. (sorry Swiss), but after much thought. there is no way it could be true because you could not write with that much passion and be the other person. and if it really is . he is sure to win if hes that good.

                Swiss. Heres the advice again case u missed from other thread:

                hope you are not further going to procrastinate on withdrawing the 751 until the "right time". But something tells me he has already beaten you to the punch there with BCIS and is going to claim mental torture. I think you have underestimated your husband and probably in the process compromised your position by waiting. and I am really sorry to hear this.

                you dont know what he is or has done. he could have been in counseling all this time just as you have. He is determined. And yes sometimes BCIS/IJ do things that make no logical sense. There are many stories that aliens take before the court that cannot be or have not been verified and they get status. Go back and read a post from Sammy on the subject back in Aug. I believe. (maybe pg 10 or 11 )

                Stop worrying about your hub strategy and start concentrating on yours. YOU need full focus right now. And you will have no control over that becuase you will never see the file.. it is his file. Like we have been telling you. Give BCIS as much info that you like so it is in the file for when the case comes up for review. It is your only means to represent your story of the marriage in the matter.

                Your husband is very good actor. He was able to convince you for 2 years and you never saw it coming. You dont think he could go infront of BCIS or IJ and do the same convincing??He was smart enough to position himself when you countered with annulment. He knew what he had to do and did it. Dont think for a minute that he did not put into place the necessary groundwork now to pull this off. And while you were thinking ,, he was doing. The clock is ticking.

                Rmember: " The difference between Salad and Garbage is Timing."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hello Swissnut; I read with sadness about your experience. The same happened to me. I can see that you are in the same state of shock that I was. This is why you are not following anyone's advice. You must go to a therapist and to a lawyer. You are wasting time posting messages because you are not prepared to do anything. I can not believe you waited for him to serve you with papers. It is not too late for you to see a lawyer. I do not know what state you are in and if it is a no fault state. If possible, I would ask my lawyer to sue for annullment and for damages. If annullment is not possible, I would sue for divorce and mental cruelty. Do not take it likeley. See a lawyer immediately and a therapist immediately. Get off this computer immediately and get on the phone.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Dear 'Still Learning':

                    I was out of town for the weekend. As well, I am kinda busy in my small world, called-'Red Planet' .



                    Dear Swissnut:

                    Having a pending complaint for divorce filed by your husband, still won't change your available options that I've been discussing with you for a long time. Instead, I feel it's very good and healthy for you now, because Now you would have at least some kind of closure on your wishy hopes for him to come back to you. I believe you should have known by NOW that he won't be back to you anymore, at least for now, so Now it's the time to move on. I know that you wanted to marriage to work, dedicated to your marriage vow, and loved him unconditionally. And, I also know that it hurts so bad, especially when someone takes the advantages of a person's kindness and vulnerability, but we all should need to accept this harsh and bitter reality that we can not insist or force another person to love us back as much we do, right?. A relationship can never be survived if there is no mutual love, respect and trust between the parties. Regardless of this impending divorce, you don't need to worry anything as far as divorce and immigration concerns go, instead your husband is the one, who needs to worry now because he has asked himself for a BIG mess and trouble by filing this divorce action prematurally as far as immigration goes.

                    However, your husband has a big advantage Now for himself as far as immigration is concerned. Being a plaintiff, or having filed a divorce case first, he has shown that he is not happy in the marriage and doesn't want to stay in the marriage-union with you anymore. And, that itself proves indirectly [whether you agree or not] that you are the reason for this fallen marriage, instead of him, even though you and I, both know that it's not true at all. In order for him to prevail on immigration, BCIS want to see who has filed the divorce action, or who wants to get out of the marriage first and why marriage got broken. And, this puts him on advantage scale than you as per your situation goes. It's also seemed that your husband has all this planned out all along very well with determined mind to get succeed on GC, epecially when he has asked for divorce when his conditional status in not removed yet. He was not prepared last time around as it's seemed he is now. Nevertheless, it won't be a matter to you, because BCIS won't be asking you why your marriage has fallen apart, or why you were the reason for broken marriage. So, it shouldn't be matter to you even if he has filed divorce first than you.

                    I belive you should have known by now that you have wasted so much time in getting the information on your options or your situation, instead of taking any hard action to secure your best interest as your husband did, otherwise you won't be asking whether or not it would change your options. And, I also believe that you don't want me [or others] to tell you that-your husband's acts from beginning of your marriage, not only indicate that he NEVER loved you, but also make it apparently clears that he will never Love you even though if he will come back to you on your wishy hopes. Your situation is not new, instead mostly peole go thru this kind of situation everyday of their lives. However, you are, one of the good person, otherwise mostly women would have given up already so far. There is no doubt left in my mind that your husband is well prepared this time. He won't withdraw this divorce action this time, since it costs money to file an action every time. However, it is very surprised to see this sudden move from his ends. Maybe, his mistress has insisted him to divorce you so that she can marry him. Nevertheless, it's seemed to me-either your husband is very much naive in the knowledge of having very negative consequences on his immigration status because of this divorce before adjudication of I-751, OR he is very clever and foxy being fully determined and prepared to deal with BCIS after having divorce. And his this sudden move suggests that he may have arranged or fabricated all or some evidentiary documents against you to prevail on immigration-stand by putting you a worst person in the eyes of BCIS, since this is the only way he could get the full GC, even though it is not true at all. Regardless, you should not be worried AT ALL as far as immigration goes.

                    Now, you need to file counterclaims if you have any other issue to resolve with your husband. You cannot bring those issues later on on another court or another complaint. I meant-you can not sue him for anything after a divorce is over, because any issue between a husband-wife must be resloved in conjection with divorce case, except in very rare cirucumstances. So if you want to sue him for any kind of damage that you have suffered because of him, then you need to sue him now in conjection with this divorce action.

                    On your counterclaim, you may also ask for the divorce as same as you husband did. Because then, your divorce decree would mention both of you as a divorce seekers instead of only one [him]. You may also ask for annulment on the ground that marriage did not consumated, since it would be very hard for him to prove otherwise or refute it. There is nothing wrong in claiming though regardless of whether you will be succeeded or not on your claims. But, judge definately won't annul your marriage if you would ask based upon that he married to you to gain residency only, unless you have very solid proof to support your claim. Your marriage can also be not annulled under 'shorter marriage' ground because you have been married for almost 3 yrs instead of only few weeks. Your previous request for annulment that had been withdrawn by you in the past, won't affact your current claims. You should also know that-unless someone has issues of 'child custody', 'child support' and very high stake of marital property to distribute, a judge will always grant a divorce without even discussing any claims even though someone will claim or sue something on complaint, which includes 'spousal alimony' issue also. You've got understand that if someone's marriage is not at least 8-10 yrs, courts don't grant spousal alimony to any party, unless a millions of dollars is invovled in marriage, or a valid medical ground is existed to have spousal alimony for the time-being. As you know that anyone can sue or claim for anything, but it doesn't mean that they would be able to get it whatever they are asking for. You should also know that courts are always interested to get rid of cases as quick as possible, that's why they are more interested to closing the case rather than resolving each and every issue between parties. Courts usually get offensive to a party who gives them too much jobs in asking to reslove too many issues. Martrimonial laws give the judges very broad discretionary authority to decide a case whatever they feel as just. That means- if somehow you will not be happy with judge's ruling and will choose to appeal his ruling, then you still may not be able to prevail on appeal even though laws and facts are in your favor.

                    If you remember, I told you previously that even though Michigan is a 'no-fault' state for divorce, claims of 'adultery' and 'mental cruelty' do play an important role in deciding other issues like spousal alimony and distribution of marital property. You should also know that after taking your case for fees, attorneys would advise you just to get a simple divorce and would ask you for not to ask anything, because they knew that they won't be getting enough money from you to keep the case going-on. They would also be interested in getting rid of your case once you pay them money for their fees. Now, choices are up to you. You can contact family court and ask for self-petitioning dept, or pro-se section. Almost, every family court has that dept for people who want to proceed on divorce case by themselves. They have sample booklet and brochure. You can read instructions therein, because it is very simple and understandable since samples are there. It might take you 10-15 minutes only if you want to do everything by yourself. And, if you don't have money to file answer or counterclaim on your husband's complaint, then you need to file a motion for indegency, wherein you will be requesting the court to waive filing costs to you because you don't have any money to pay. It is a very simple motion of only 4-5 lines, and you can get the sample of how to do on those prose kit. My only advise to you-if you don't have any solid proof to prove your claim, just let it go your divorce without any counterclaim. This way, you won't be doing anything, or won't be spending any money also in filing your answer in court in response to his complaint, but it's all up to you. If I were you, I won't waste my time, energy, efforts, and money if I would know that I don't have any proof to prove my claims.

                    The only thing you should be focused on is -withdrawing I-751. Write them that your marriage has broken, both of you are no longer living together as a husband-wife, you were forced to sign jointly filed I-751 by yr husband, and you want to withdraw it, that is. Then write an another letter to both- local BCIS office and Service center, and inform them that you highly suspect that your husband married to you to get green card only, that is. That's all you can do. You don't need to waste your time and energy in finding what would happen to him, or any other questions on how you would be able to secure your best intersts, because that is all you can do even though you talk or discuss all sorts of discussion. You can not ask BCIS to deport him or ask them to make sure that he won't come back to hurt you. As you see, you have wasted so much time in asking those questions which has not Direct impact on securing your best interest, even though it has impact on other issues though.

                    If you would like, you may contact matrimonial attorneys thru the website that I gave you previously. Lots of attorneys there, can give you free advise, but you need to call them. There are attorneys-named-Leslie and Donna, I've talked. They are very good attorneys. I want you to think wise first before making sure what you want to do on divorce case, instead of making your decision based upon any hurt feelings or any other feeling, otherwise you would be wasting your time, money, engergy and will go thru severe psychological pain if you won't prevail on your claims. I don't think anything bad in your situation yet, instead it is bad for him though. But then again, why should you need to care about him. I believe this divorce case is good for you. Take care and I will pray that you would have peace in your heart. BYE now.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Sammy:

                      Thanks for your words...Today, first I went to my psychologist and tried to get the tears out of the way...and then this afternoon I retained and attorney to answer the complaint. Sent all the documents to him, and we are to meet on Thursday. So I guess i'm on the right track.

                      Now as far as the Joint I751 is concerned, I do have a question. My husband's case is likely not adjudicated yet and perhaps he thought that he would try to get the divorce over and final before the date they adjudicate his petition so that he could fie a waiver. Bcz I think then, if I have read all of your posts correctly, he will then be able to file a waiver under either BONA FIDE or MENTAL CRUELTY. Is that right?

                      Now when I withdraw I751, doesn't BCIS give him until the end of divorce to file the waiver? And when I send separate letter with my concern about the fraudulence of our marriage, would that mean that he would not be able to file waiver?

                      Sammy, you also wrote..."instead your husband is the one, who needs to worry now because he has asked himself for a BIG mess and trouble by filing this divorce action prematurally as far as immigration goes." Question: Why does he have a mess, if he is going to get divorce over first then file for waiver?

                      Alos you wrote" However, your husband has a big advantage Now for himself as far as immigration is concerned. Being a plaintiff, or having filed a divorce case first, he has shown that he is not happy in the marriage and doesn't want to stay in the marriage-union with you anymore. And, that itself proves indirectly [whether you agree or not] that you are the reason for this fallen marriage, instead of him, even though you and I, both know that it's not true at all. In order for him to prevail on immigration, BCIS want to see who has filed the divorce action, or who wants to get out of the marriage first and why marriage got broken. And, this puts him on advantage scale than you as per your situation goes." Question: Wouldn't BCIS realize in this case that a person who was in a marriage for fraudulent reason would be the ONE who files for divorce after he sees that he has passed all of the hurdles?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Michael:

                        Thanks for the advise...I know I was irritating everyoe on this board, asling questions....but I was so concerned about being the one to end a marrriage that I had pledged to. I guess my alien husband saved me that trouble by filing this weekend.

                        Anyway, all I can do now is to make sure I am no longer vistimized by him.
                        Wondering how it all turned out in your case?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I divorced her, sued her seperately for fraud for the money she stole an d won but settled for a fraction of it because that was all she was able to afford for the next several years and her lawyer asked me for a favor. I sent a couple of letters to INS (Now BCIS). I even spoke to an investigations officer in person who said that this happens often and she won't get away wth it. Maybe he just said that to make me feel better. She filed I-751 waiver in January 2003 so her interview isn't until next year so who knows what will happen. I have 2 regrets which I hope you take to heart. First I have spent the last 2 years obsessing over this. It has been the worst time of my life which I surrendered to this monster. Second I divorced first and sued afterwards instead of suing for annullment on the basis of fraud. But it worked in my case. She is financially ruined, her credit is ruined and she has to worry about being deported. If she gets deported, justice will be served. But even if she doesn't get deported, I got some of my money back and some of my pride back. But the worst thing is that I lost the past 2 years of my life to a crazy obsession. Please don't let that happen to you. Turn your lawyers on him and forget it.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Michael:

                            Yes, I can concur that this predicament involves much more then the loss of a loved one, but rather the loss of a life that was to be and a loss of trust in someone we once placed our trust in. I have read so many posts referring to my emotions as "obession" and by definition it is an unhealthy preoccupation with someone, but indeed it is the incredible violation of that trust which creates such an outpouring of feelings, abnd until a person has been placed in such a situation, I don;t believe they can begin to understand that.

                            Anyway, enough of the non-immigration stuff..
                            You wrote that you divorced her..at what point in the process was that and were there applications pending?

                            You also said that she filed her waiver I751 in January 2003 and the interview will not be until next year. How do y0u know this and what basis of waiver did she file?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I know through her lawyer. She filed for a waiver based on divorce which freaks me out that they even have such a thing. I divorced her 9 months after she the I551 stamp and 5 months after she got the green card in the mail. She would not cooperrate with the divorce so it took 4 months to process. I started the process when she admitted that she married me for the green card.

                              Timeline

                              AOS/I551 Stamp March 2001
                              Graduated college (my expense) June 2001
                              Green Card August 2001
                              Admitted fraud/Initiated Divorce September 1 2001
                              Divorce stalled because of my upset over September 11 giving her time to "escape"
                              She left September 23 2001 while I was out
                              Served her papers in Nov 2001; she never responded
                              Divorce Finalized Jan 2002
                              She complained to my lawyer that we "tricked" her by getting a divorce for the grounds of abandonment
                              Sued and won by default her June 2002 for fraud
                              Won appeals case in Jan 2003 where she showed up and settled shortly thereafter for $6000
                              She had to file I751 by March 2003 and it takes about 18 months for VSC to process I751 so they should process it by Jube 2004. I don't know how long it takes between processing and the interview but she could drag it out for several years at least but in the mean time she will have to pay !

                              Comment

                              Sorry, you are not authorized to view this page

                              Home Page

                              Immigration Daily

                              Archives

                              Processing times

                              Immigration forms

                              Discussion board

                              Resources

                              Blogs

                              Twitter feed

                              Immigrant Nation

                              Attorney2Attorney

                              CLE Workshops

                              Immigration books

                              Advertise on ILW

                              EB-5

                              移民日报

                              About ILW.COM

                              Connect to us

                              Questions/Comments

                              SUBSCRIBE

                              Immigration Daily



                              Working...
                              X