US Citizen married to immigrant. need help finding co-sponsor. advice please!

hi all,

im 22 and married to a woman from southeast Asia. She came to this country legally which means we should have no problem getting her a green card but we're running into some difficulties.

My income was not high enough for the past 3 years to sponsor her alone. im not working right now because im suffering from manic depression. our lawyer told us we need a co-sponsor. however my parents and no one in my family will do it. we haven't found any friend's who will do it.

So Many asian, pakistani, and latino family and friends co-sponsor for their own people. why am i finding such resistance in the white community?

now im thinking of writing a letter to anyone i know with substantial wealth and asking them if they'll sponsor. Do I have to sink this low?

my wife has no intention of going on medicaid or social security disability (two of the worries for a potential sponsor), she just wants to get a better job so she can get insurance for our family.

can anyone help us or advise us?

hi all,

im 22 and married to a woman from southeast Asia. She came to this country legally which means we should have no problem getting her a green card but we're running into some difficulties.

My income was not high enough for the past 3 years to sponsor her alone. im not working right now because im suffering from manic depression. our lawyer told us we need a co-sponsor. however my parents and no one in my family will do it. we haven't found any friend's who will do it.

So Many asian, pakistani, and latino family and friends co-sponsor for their own people. why am i finding such resistance in the white community?

now im thinking of writing a letter to anyone i know with substantial wealth and asking them if they'll sponsor. Do I have to sink this low?

my wife has no intention of going on medicaid or social security disability (two of the worries for a potential sponsor), she just wants to get a better job so she can get insurance for our family.

can anyone help us or advise us?

Somehow the ideal thing would be for you to find a job and then once your wife gets her work permit, she can find a job and add the income to the requirement.

I know it's hard but if you don't find someone to sponsor her, that is the only way. If you can find the right meds that work for you, then you can live your life normally.

It's hard enough finding a co sponsor in your family as you've noticed, it might be hard to find a total stranger to do it.

thanks marie,

i dont know when ill be able to find a job either part time or full time. it may be a year or more. the last job i tried to do was in banking again last august and i ran away from it after one week.

by the way my wife works and she makes 125% pov level a year but she uses her best friends SSN. she has her own SSN now, but it says "not vaild for employment." our lawyer said we would be able to explain all of this in the AOS interview.

i used to have a computer business and i still have like 1 or 2 appointments a month. i was thinking of writing to my wealthier clients and asking them if they'd co-sponsor. What do I have to lose right? this is what my wife wants me to do. They might see this as an opportunity to perform a civic duty or a charitable act.

thank you

The problem is that it's a legal binding document.
Many people won't do it.

Is there a reason your family won't do it?

She will have to wait for her work permit. Her SSN card probably says the same as mine "not valid for work without INS authorization".

I'm still going to stress the importance of medication. If you find the right ones, you could be back on your feet within a few month. But I know that it can be hard to find the right ones.

About her using her friend;'s SSN card, that might be a big problem. I would call another lawyer and get another opinion. It's one thing to work without permission but another to use someone's SSN.

You have another option. If you can get an firm Job Offer for your wife duly Notarized by a employer then that will be a substitute for additional support. The employer will have to mention that he has offered a job which will pay your wife $ ________. This is a confirmed offer and open till________ provided she gets legal authorization to work in the United States.
Good luck.

My incomes for the past 3 years were 10,000, 14,000 and 21,000. I'm not sure how my wife getting an offer of employment could make up for my lack of income in 2000 and 01. Probably the only person she could get a letter from is the guy she works for now and thats not a problem. because "she" isnt working for him now. her friend's identity is technically.

my family doesnt want to sponsor because they dont want to be bound for 5 to 7 years until she becomes a citizen. there is one condition of sponsorship that states that if the immigrant goes on medicaid or social security disability, the sponsor has to pay that money back to the govt. My parents say being a sponsor is too risky.

Kevin

Sorry they feel that way Kevin

Probably then your best bet is to do what umesh said.

If you don't mind just give me your phone Number so that I can discuss with you your other options if you have any.
Good luck

Kevin4380

Hi. Umesh's idea sounds pretty good.

However, if that won't work you might want to consider speaking to your family members again and offering them a consultation with a lawyer so that they can better understand exactly how much of a risk it would really be.

Before my parents decided to act as a co-sponsor for my husband, they made an appointment with a good lawyer, and double checked to see exactly how much of a risk cosponsorship would be for them. At the end of the meeting they found that it wasn't quite as bad as they had thought it might be, and it made them feel a lot better about the whole process.

Anyway, good luck to you!!!

umesh, my email is weconsult@yahoo.com if you email me i can arrange to have a private conversation with you on the phone.

thanks for your tip spouse. but the first thing we did was bring my mom and dad to the lawyer. they were willing that day. it was only after that that they changed their mind.

the rest of the family things that there will be amnesty sooner or later and that i shouldnt worry about my wife. i hate their attitude.

why is this happening to me? i didnt choose to be sick.

kevin

NO of course you didn't choose to be "sick" all you can really do is take the best care of it you can, with a good psychologist and adequate medication (please do take it, I have a couple friends who stop almost as soon as they can and it causes them a lot of problems).

Unfortunately, the INS is not designed for the exceptions (like the fact I am a grad student and make no money now, but am completely able to make it in the future).

I am sorry to hear that your family won't help out, but I guess I can understand too, it is pretty scary to sign your name to something. Don't hold it against them, the fact that they even considered it indicates that they do love you.

I guess the only other suggestion I can offer would be that depending on how close you are to your wife's employer, perhaps that person would be willing to help sponsor her? Whatever you do emphasize the co-sponsoriship part, so that they are aware that they would not be the only sponsor and therefore not solely responsible.

I hope Umesh can help you out!!! I wish you a lot of luck!

Kevin,

I am married to a bipolar man who also has problems in keeping jobs. He has had four different jobs in the last four months.No one chooses to be ill, but YOU can make it better if you want. I am saying this because I can see my husband destroying himself, and it hurts me to see that he is letting the manic depression run our lives, instead of controlling and living a normal life. Take charge of your illness while you can: proper medication, therapy, support groups, etc. Those things will help you sort your mind and find a solution for the co-sponsor issue. Probably your family, noticing that you are being more proactive on your manic depression episodes, will decide to be more supportive.

One suggestion is that if you belong to support groups for bipolars., maybe someone there might help you co-sponsor your spouse. They, being also bipolars, might better understand it.

Good luck.

abused,

we got married just a few months back and it hasnt been easy. since the big day i resigned one job in the midst of a manic episode and tried to start another 2 months later but couldnt hang on. i just dont think im ready to start again. i feel like i would leave after one day.

im taking medication. finally good medication but it might not be the right combo yet. i have a therapist i can work with finally, and i go to 2 bipolar support groups a week.

still a lot of the other times i feel really drowsy and sedated. Which means there's something wrong with me or its the medication.

Kevin,

I am glad that you are being proactive with the manic episodes. Keep up with it and I am sure that you will win over the illness. It seems that you are taking the right steps. Another resource to learn about clinical trials and help on bipolar is to read on the NIH web site. If you haven't found the right combo of medication yet, maybe they are still working on it. My very best good luck on everything.