I'm only living here because of INS...

[nireehamdi]

my conditional residency husband....made the
statement recently..."I'm only living here
because of INS"....as well as a few other choice
remarks....."I've got the card...we done"...
i can do what I want"....... i am really putting
up with alot.....and I don't think he is worth
it.....I am not the "bad guy" in this...... if
I walk on him....he is in serious trouble...he's
in trouble now i think....any comments?

[nireehamdi]

my conditional residency husband....made the
statement recently..."I'm only living here
because of INS"....as well as a few other choice
remarks....."I've got the card...we done"...
i can do what I want"....... i am really putting
up with alot.....and I don't think he is worth
it.....I am not the "bad guy" in this...... if
I walk on him....he is in serious trouble...he's
in trouble now i think....any comments?

[Fresh Taco]

girlfriend, and what is keeping you with a husband like that? you should respect yourself more.

[nireehamdi]

He feels that everything that he does....is
"okeY' and that he says or does nothing wrong...
and that INS....."just will think it's okey...
he is married but takes no responsibility,
stays away nights with his girlfriend.... only
wants married side, when he needs it.......
..I wonder...if he realizes that "he is in
very serious situation with serious consequences"/
and that no one would "view his activities"
as okey..... I don't.

[Injoy]

I don't understand 1/2 of the posts, but you always have the option to kick his a s s so he would learn.

[doreen]

Hey lady

If your husband is cheating on you, dont you think it is your duty to take action and dont let anybody use you for a card. You should love yourself more to go through some marriage like that.Get him out of your life do the right thing. Dont let him laugh at you rather smile at yourself for being smart

[williamaria]

Why are you putting up with a situation like that, ..... he spends nights with his girlfriend.... OMG how can you accept that, divorce him and get a guy who really loves you.

[nireehamdi]

I have kept a log...when he's home and when's
he's elsewhere....we didn't start out like this
at all. He just wants "his cake and eating it
too"....I really don't mind being used for the
green card...but I don't like his ugliness at
all. I love him very much, now that is going
away and so is the hurt.....when this does...
I will walk. I will not be doing joint income
taxes, the I751...and whatever for citizenship..
I do not think INS would take "what he is doing
so well"...I know they make random checks....
I have told him this...but he just seems to continue doing....he would certainly deserve
what he gets.... I am not an ugly person...
and I wish no one ugliness.....but I have been
treated unduly...ugly and for no reason.....
i am ready to walk..but my heart holds me back...when I hurt no more... I will walk.

[nireehamdi]

..I might add...his clothes and everything
are at his married house....however.....he is
elsewhere.....I don't need ...any of this....
in my life I know.... I have also told him
we are under "public scrutiny".....and I don't
care what he does as long as it does not negatively
reflect on me....(personally and professionally)
but it now does..... I can't believe he is
this stupid.....

[swissnut]

If you are unwilling to file the I751 or file joint taxes, which would aid your alien husband in adjusting his status, why are you waiting to end this marriage?

P. S. Hate to burst your bubble, but USCIS doesn't give a fig how you live as married persons, just that you are married.

[nireehamdi]

i hate to end right now..because if I do....
we are in the conditional residency ....and
conditional permanent status...and if I walk..
and we are divorced during this time....it will
not be good for him......of course, he does not
want a divorce.......so....I know I should end...i have chosen...up to now to stick with him...whether its good or bad......but this is getting to be a little much for me. If Hillary and many others can "stick by their guy"....i have been....it is emotionally very hard....
I cared deeply...but I am getting out of it...
I don't cry so much any more....and even the
hurt is healing......so this is good.....sounding out and hearing comments...
also helps....i appreciate it....

[swissnut]

I resist giving advice, because each situation has its own set of circumstances...but, I do so dislike learning of anyone who is being hurt. You said, when you hurt no more, you will walk, but have you considered that as long as you permit your husband to use your home as a depository for his personal belongings alone, that you are enabling the hurt to continue? I know it is hard, but tell him not to come home anymore. At least you won't have to witness how little he feels you are worthy of his time and interest, that way. Then you can begin the process of healing.....

He can file a waiver for joint filing of the I751, not to worry!

[nireehamdi]

i appreciate your comments... I have spoken to
an attorney....and was told to keep a log....
of everything....because we have property....
(i did the whole investment, none of his money)..
and such. (more or less just a signature on paper). We did a pre=nup...but all of this
has to be taken care of....the attorney said..
"if I walk now" during this period...he will be
screwed...he would not be able to file a waiver
or anything...... I seem to be healing all of the time... I used to cry alot... I don't anymore....so that is points. I know that
I am going to walk...but I'm not sure when....
INS has called on several here in our area lately...and picked them up...for wrong papers
and what have you...some had to be bailed out...
if INS knocked at the door..where he stays....
he would have a time explaining....we did
have an early am visit by INS....he was home..
so....who knows.......his actions are pretty
much "out there"....and no one likes it....
( i am a very public person)....all have wondered by I stay with him....and support him)
... I don't know......one good thing...I seem
to be getting ****her and ****her away....
and that's good for me....not for him.

[swissnut]

Hey, the assets and property settlement in the divorce are one thing, but that does not impact the immigration issue. I don't know why your attorney would suggest that to divorce right now would be disastrous for your husband. Why wouldn't he be able to file a waiver? I can't imagine why, unless you would opt to inform INS of fraud.

If your husband can prove bona fide intent at the point of marriage, and there are copies of joint tax returns and his name on various assets, then he'll be ok. Was the attorney you spoke with also familiar with immigration? Most family lawyers are not necessarily conversant in immigration process.

[nireehamdi]

yes...he is an immigration attorney....he thought
maybe a sham marriage.....and married for
just the card......that's probably so......I am
in the process....of taking his name off all
legal papers.....(that are mine)....