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  • Kumna
    replied
    Thank you all for your help.

    I did some additional research online regarding relationships.

    I discussed with her last night and she has agreed to hit the break on her speedy spending habit.
    Thank you all.
    Peace.
    Kumna

    Leave a comment:


  • Ask_Zeev
    replied
    NO
    IT
    DOS
    N O T
    make any sence
    Sir
    you need a urgent mental help
    your girl also...
    but she is on the lucky side of the problem

    Leave a comment:


  • dragonlady
    replied
    If she does jump out the window - this is good. DO NOT pay her funeral costs. She won't jump out the window, she will find another S u c k e r.

    Leave a comment:


  • dragonlady
    replied
    Actually, she is Jewish - don't forget the ish. You are being taken for a ride. Your key word was "girlfriend". Girlfriends should get off their b u t t s and work. No excuse. She should pay her way. If you get married and she has your children you can support her but you are being taken for a ride. Next month it will be more and more and more.

    This is not a function of her religion or culture. She is a giant sponge - which knows no boundries. Get rid of her.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kumna
    replied
    SunDevilUSA,
    I agree, this story has nothing to do with immigration process by the main stream standard. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am trying to create a forum somewhere else just for these types of issues. Of course, this forum is still going to be my favorite place to discuss legal immigration matters.

    As to why I chose to mention my immigration status and ethnicity, I could give you plenty of reasons. But, uhm, I thought about it: you are not my dad or mom, so why should I feel compelled to explain myself to you? I hope that next time you are going to ask such a question, you will be more careful so that you do not come across differently than you intended.
    Anyway, I wont make assumptions here and will give you the answers to your questions.

    Why I mentioned immigration status? : two reasons

    1- To create awareness for other immigrants that immigrations does not stop after the legal paperss. It's is an endless process to internalize the social values. I am sure other men are facing the same issue I raised, but they most likely will have straight answer because they know what the social expectations are. For me, I have to first assess if this is socially accepted. If it is within the normes, then I will go with it. If it's not, well, I will deal it properly.

    2- To give more information to the readers so that they can give an advice based on full information. If I had not mentioned GC holder, some people could have assumed that the relationship is based on immigration. So, I wanted to clear that one up. There is no immigration benefit to gain from it.

    Why the ethnicity?

    If you are jew and feel offended, my apology. I have no intention to put label on any ethnicity. Again I wanted to give as much information as possible so that I can obtain the right judgement from other poeple. If you a visitor in my country and you had come to me with the same issue, I most likely would wonder what type of person you were dealing with. Based on that information, I can give you a much more helpful information than if you had only told me you were dealing with a girl. Maybe that's not the case in USA, or is it?

    DISAPPOINTED, I heard you. I surely feel that if there is no money, she will jump out of the window the next hour. I am trying to figure out the best way to react to you. Is this the way most (meaning more than 50%) women see a relationship in this country? If it is, then there is no need for me to look for another one, just stick with her. If it's not, hum... that's a whole different ball game.

    Thank you.

    Leave a comment:


  • SunDevilUSA
    replied
    Kumna: I'm not sure you felt it relevant to disclose your ethnicity and your girlfriend's religion when telling your story, as neither is in the slightest relevant. I'd be interested to know why you felt that disclosing this information was necessary.

    Furthermore, your story has NOTHING to do with the immigration process, and the fact that you're an immigrant is also pretty irrelevant.

    Leave a comment:


  • DISAPPOINTED
    replied
    watch out,she is using you.once your money is gone she/he is done with you. I was in the same condition but l had to move,and start a new life.It is up to you to be together or not,but what you have to know is that someone is using you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kumna
    replied
    Yes, I have been in USA for 5 yrs. The same city, havent moved since I came here. Spend time between work, home and library. That's it.
    Am I missing out on something?

    Leave a comment:


  • marmaduk
    replied
    Just out of curiosity, how long have you been in the US Kumna? Got to be at least 4-5 years isn't it?

    Leave a comment:


  • Kumna
    replied
    marmaduk, it's true my ex did get away with many things. However, my behavior is the result of my upbringing. I grew up in a family where my dad fully supported the whole family (mom and the children). I sort of internalized his behavior. That's said, my mom did appreciate the support. Here I am in a different culture. What is buggling my mind is how does she take it? It is very hard to know what people really feel in this country about anything. If that was not the case, I would have directly asked her. But uhm, with what she's getting I can predict all the nice words she would throw in her answer. That's why I came over here to get an insight. Actually, I am thinking of creating a forum for immigrants in dealing with these types of issues. I am sure, many of us have things we are wondering about, but have no idea how other immigrants are dealing with them.
    Anyway, back to my issue, I will appreciate the view points everyone especially ladies on this forum. What would you think of a man like me? Clueless as marmaduk says?
    Thanks marmaduk for your reply.

    Leave a comment:


  • marmaduk
    replied
    Sir, you're either the most clueless person in the world when it comes to women, or simply enjoy being used by women. After what happened with your ex-wife and now this??? Gosh.....

    Leave a comment:


  • Kumna
    replied
    Me: black immigrant (GC holder).

    Girl friend: Jew USC.

    Situation:
    -Girl friend does not work, so stays at home. Does help with cooking food and keeping the house in order.
    -Me: bought a house, pay for mortgage+utility+cable+food and help pay the old debt of girl friend.
    -Step one: Girl friend asks for some monthly income.
    -Me: give her $200 a month.
    -Step 2: Girl friend asks for $600 a month following the first month me gave her $200.
    -Me: increased the monthly support to $600.
    -Third step: at the end of the third month, girl friend spent $800 on credit card plus the $600 me gave her and asks me to come to the rescue to repay the credit card. The $800 were spent on her clothes and the $600 on food she cooks for herself and me.
    -Now the new month begins, me starting to wonder if this is a normal situation in US culture or just the girl friend is little out of line.

    What should me do?

    Leave a comment:


  • Kumna
    started a topic Does this make sense?

    Does this make sense?

    Me: black immigrant (GC holder).

    Girl friend: Jew USC.

    Situation:
    -Girl friend does not work, so stays at home. Does help with cooking food and keeping the house in order.
    -Me: bought a house, pay for mortgage+utility+cable+food and help pay the old debt of girl friend.
    -Step one: Girl friend asks for some monthly income.
    -Me: give her $200 a month.
    -Step 2: Girl friend asks for $600 a month following the first month me gave her $200.
    -Me: increased the monthly support to $600.
    -Third step: at the end of the third month, girl friend spent $800 on credit card plus the $600 me gave her and asks me to come to the rescue to repay the credit card. The $800 were spent on her clothes and the $600 on food she cooks for herself and me.
    -Now the new month begins, me starting to wonder if this is a normal situation in US culture or just the girl friend is little out of line.

    What should me do?
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