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  • abusive relationship and residency

    Hi, I am new to the forum and have been reading posts for a while.
    I would like to have introduced myself differently but the discussion in top5 topics made me wonder about something.
    I know that if a woman immigrant married to american citizen and is in an abusive relationship that she can prove, she can still get her residency even if the relationship dissolves in divorce.
    So the question is what happens the other way around. I married a Dominican in 2004. I wanted a divorce by 2006. He refused, choked me, police came, went to court, 1 yr. restraining order served 2007, filing for divorce 2008 and he refuses to sign any papers. Obviously I am not tracking him down to get him to sign.
    We had filed a change of status and already gone to the interview for the residency. (Filed a bunch of stuff before) He had social security # and temporary employment card good through. Now I am told I can do nothing until time for the 2 year review, which I will not be participating in. It isnt that I want revenge or to ruin him. But does this seem right to you?

  • #2
    Hi, I am new to the forum and have been reading posts for a while.
    I would like to have introduced myself differently but the discussion in top5 topics made me wonder about something.
    I know that if a woman immigrant married to american citizen and is in an abusive relationship that she can prove, she can still get her residency even if the relationship dissolves in divorce.
    So the question is what happens the other way around. I married a Dominican in 2004. I wanted a divorce by 2006. He refused, choked me, police came, went to court, 1 yr. restraining order served 2007, filing for divorce 2008 and he refuses to sign any papers. Obviously I am not tracking him down to get him to sign.
    We had filed a change of status and already gone to the interview for the residency. (Filed a bunch of stuff before) He had social security # and temporary employment card good through. Now I am told I can do nothing until time for the 2 year review, which I will not be participating in. It isnt that I want revenge or to ruin him. But does this seem right to you?

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Melusina and welcome to ILW.

      I am so sorry to hear what you have been through, but I am glad you had the courage to get the Protective order and carry it through. Your safety is the most important.

      I am just verifying dateline here. You were married in 2004, were you both living here in the US since marriage?
      I am asking because you said the 2 yr review has not come up yet, which I am surprised going by time line that he has not got his 10yr one as of yet.
      When did he get his conditional Green card?

      Have you informed any of this to USCIS at all?
      Was he charged for the assault, did anything come of this in court?

      No I don't think it is right, but if he was found guilty of domestic violence amongst other things, it could go against him for permanent residency.
      If I were you, I think I would track him down, through a lawyer, so you can get this divorce on track. Some States allow you to print the request in the newspaper, and if he fails to answer to them or sign, I believe you can go ahead with the divorce without him. Best check with a lawyer.

      You could also try and withdraw your sponsorship, hard to do but you could try. Either way I think you need to let USCIS know, and let them know you have no idea where he is. He might not tell them, as he would be worried about his GC no doubt.

      There is on this board, other stories likes yours, may be worth reading through them, for ideas and options.

      If I find them I will post the links for you
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

      National Domestic Violence Hotline:
      1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

      Comment


      • #4
        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Melusina:
        Hi, I am new to the forum and have been reading posts for a while.
        I would like to have introduced myself differently but the discussion in top5 topics made me wonder about something.
        I know that if a woman immigrant married to american citizen and is in an abusive relationship that she can prove, she can still get her residency even if the relationship dissolves in divorce.
        So the question is what happens the other way around. I married a Dominican in 2004. I wanted a divorce by 2006. He refused, choked me, police came, went to court, 1 yr. restraining order served 2007, filing for divorce 2008 and he refuses to sign any papers. Obviously I am not tracking him down to get him to sign.
        We had filed a change of status and already gone to the interview for the residency. (Filed a bunch of stuff before) He had social security # and temporary employment card good through. Now I am told I can do nothing until time for the 2 year review, which I will not be participating in. It isnt that I want revenge or to ruin him. But does this seem right to you? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
        There is a Form I-360 you can petition at USCIS if the adjustment of status has not been processed. From what I read, I think you amy want to seriously look at this petition.
        "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

        Comment


        • #5
          Hudson, I think you've got it wrong. If I'm reading correctly, the OP is the USC and the victim of domestic violence by her foreign spouse.

          Melusina, I'm so glad to hear you took out a protective order. I'm with Sprint and confused on dates. I am assuming he didn't enter the US on his CPR until some time after your marriage?

          I agree with her as to proceeding with the divorce as much as you can.

          As far as his 2 year review goes, he will be required to disclose any and all criminal convictions and dealings with the police. I would suggest that you get hold of USCIS and disclose the protective order, any charges/convictions against him and your intent to divorce.

          The USCIS are quite used to hearing claims against spouses when the relationships go sour, so they do take it with a grain of salt (they're like divorce judges!). But if you have definitive proof, as it sounds like you do, then they will take you seriously.
          **************************************
          The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it - Plutarch

          Comment


          • #6
            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Hudson:
            There is a Form I-360 you can petition at USCIS if the adjustment of status has not been processed. From what I read, I think you amy want to seriously look at this petition. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
            My understanding is that OP is US citizen - petitioner. I-360 is for an alien.

            Comment


            • #7
              You do not need him to sign the papers to get a divorce. You face a lot of problems, beyond him getting a green card, by failing to secure a divorce. Getting a divorce/annulment immediately is your immediate priority. Anulment based on fraud is better than getting a divorce. Do not wait another second to get this going.

              Comment


              • #8
                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Melusina:
                Hi, I am new to the forum and have been reading posts for a while.
                I would like to have introduced myself differently but the discussion in top5 topics made me wonder about something.
                I know that if a woman immigrant married to american citizen and is in an abusive relationship that she can prove, she can still get her residency even if the relationship dissolves in divorce.
                So the question is what happens the other way around. I married a Dominican in 2004. I wanted a divorce by 2006. He refused, choked me, police came, went to court, 1 yr. restraining order served 2007, filing for divorce 2008 and he refuses to sign any papers. Obviously I am not tracking him down to get him to sign.
                We had filed a change of status and already gone to the interview for the residency. (Filed a bunch of stuff before) He had social security # and temporary employment card good through. Now I am told I can do nothing until time for the 2 year review, which I will not be participating in. It isnt that I want revenge or to ruin him. But does this seem right to you? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
                Need to revise. After rereading the post and comments, I mistook that you were not a USC.

                There are ways to file for a divorce, but it can take awhile, years in some cases. You can petition for divorce and go through the steps needed to have him served, even if you cannot find him. This is called notification by publication. But you need to talk to a qualified legal counsel to check on the procedures in your state.

                You are also correct not to participate to remove the conditional residence. This is not revenge, but a choice you are making.
                "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

                Comment


                • #9
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by aneri:
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Hudson:
                  There is a Form I-360 you can petition at USCIS if the adjustment of status has not been processed. From what I read, I think you amy want to seriously look at this petition. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
                  My understanding is that OP is US citizen - petitioner. I-360 is for an alien. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
                  To aneri and aroha, thanks for the clarification.
                  "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    To all the posters above, thank you so much for your responses!

                    To clarify the timeline:
                    He entered with vacation visa in Jan 2004
                    Married in July 2004
                    Filed change of status papers in 2005
                    Biometrics in Spring 2006
                    Recieved 1 yr Employment Authorization and SS# Summer 2006
                    Interview Oct 2006

                    We had a lawyer and according to her and available info he had not recieved his residency because of the background check. His name is very common....idk....maybe he was lying about his past and that was the delay?????

                    As for the divorce in the USA I had to wait 6 mo from the Protection Order to qualify for legal aid because apparently alot of women return to the spouse and they dont want to waste their time...again...idk....but I am not making this up....so I have contacted legal aid now about the contested divorce.

                    It just really bothers me that he can get the papers he looked for ( I realize now that this was just a way to get residency through me ) and have behaved like that. From what I understand the divorce would not have been a deal breaker for the temp residency. This abuse is BS and I dont see why he gets to be "legal".
                    Why do I have no recourse?
                    I think I should at least be able to fax a copy of the Protection Order to someone to show the progress of event, and then they ( BCIS) can make an informed decision.

                    Obviously I would sleep better at night if I thought he was out of the country, but I have to live with my part in this situation. I am a little concerned with the upcoming divorce. He has left me alone, except for one occasion in Nov, until know and I live in the same house. Moving is not an option for me. Not yet.

                    Again many thanks for the responses, and apologies for the delayed post. I did not think to check back and see so many responding

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Well look for him to get his greencard any day now, as the backlog is being cleared on those waiting for the namechecks. New procedures are in place .

                      What was the outcome in court on the choking?
                      what was he charged with .. or was he convicted at all of anything?

                      You cannot withdraw an approved petition.

                      Write uscis a letter about how soon you seperted and why with documentaton on the physical abuse. Place his A# in correspondence.

                      Ask to withdraw the affidavit of support based on the cruelty when the conditional period ends for the alien. (sometimes they will take pity)

                      dont ever expect to hear back from uscis on the matter.

                      He will need a final decree of divorce to remove the conditions, so you will eventually hear from him.

                      Comment

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