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**lau66** · 10-27-2005, 04:16 PM

I am hoping someone out there can help me. I am the USC. I brought my husband her from Armenia on a fiance visa. After the marriage he became increasingly verbally abusive, and started to become violent ( He threw all our groceries at the front of our apartment, broke the front door in, and threatened to beat me-- at the time I was 2 months pregnant and we had only been married 4 months) Needless to say I left him, withdrew his I-130, and filed for a divorce. He refused to sign the divorce. After I left him he started telling people that I was "bad" to him, so bad that the only thing I didn't do is "kill" him, but I tried to do that becasuse he "almost died from fammine" because he had "no food, money or transportation." However the truth of the matter is that when I left him he had a job, and I paid all the bills for the next month after I left him. He also emptied the joint account twice and I was stuck paying the overdraft fees. The house was also stocked with the almost $200 dollars worth of groceries that he threw against the front of our apartment. Now over a year later he has threatened to take my son to Armenia, and he is suing me for partial custody. I have just found out that the reason he is still in the USA is because he has filed the I-360 and his approval letter says that deportation will be deferred for 15 months while his file is processed. What does all this mean, and what can I do???????

**bigdummy** · 10-28-2005, 12:49 PM

Dear lau66,

I am so sorry that this happened. I don't know anything about the I-360. There is a member on the board named Sammy who does, so hopefully he will help you.

Dealing with USCIS can be very draining both time wise and emotionally. Do you know if the I-130 has for sure been withdrawn? By this I mean, how did you withdraw it? You cannot be sure if you only sent a letter. If you aren't sure, you might consider making an InfoPass appointment and going there in person to withdraw.

How do you know your ex filed for I-360? Did he show you this approval letter about 15-months?

I am by no means an expert on this, but it sounds like your ex has an attorney or at least someone to point him toward the I-360. Do you have an attorney?

Are you divorced? If not, have you filed yet?

If other members don't respond, you might want to repost under a different title...the I-360 is very specific and I think you need infomation on that as well as what other options you have.

Take care of yourself and Good luck!

**lau66** · 10-28-2005, 02:18 PM

--I am sure that my I 130 was withdrawn, as I have received a notice from USCIS.
--I only know about my husband's I360 because at our last hearing for child custody my family lawyer asked for proof of his immigration status, and my lawyer got a copy of his approval notice which stated deferred deportation for 15 months.
--Yes I filed for Divorce in September 2004, but he has refused to sign it, and in Pennsylvania I have to wait 2 years before it can go to court to be approved without him signing it.

**lau66** · 10-28-2005, 02:27 PM

Sammy,
Thanks for your information. I will write to the Vermont Service center as you advised. Yes he does have help because the notice he recieved about the 15 months was sent to a Lawyer in Philadelphia. Can my congressman help in this situation or not? Yes-- I would like him deported because he continues to threaten to take my son, and I am terrified that he will be abusive to him if he would ever get unsupervised custody or that he would abduct him.

**lau66** · 10-29-2005, 05:24 PM

Does the USCIS really grant the I360 without doing any type of investigation. I can't believe that they grant these with in a matter of a few days, especially after all the processing someone has to under go in order to enter the USA. When I withdrew my petition for him I also included in my letter information about him not having complete police records for all the places he has lived when he filed for his fiance visa, he lied about his current place of residence when filing for K-1 visa, He worked illegally when coming to the USA before EAD came through, and he also brought his sister here on a visitors visa, but found jobs for here as a nanny for the 6 months she was here. Also the whole time he was here he was trying to find someone to marry his brother (he even asked my mom on multiple occasions) He made comments that it would be easy to bring his brother over on a K-1 visa because he knew how to do it now. I gave them lots of information about him-- and I made sure that his Alien number was on the documentation. Doesn't this information stay with his file. Won't they take all information into consideration before just granting him approval on a fraudulent I360. I truly believe that he just used me to come here.

**Maxx** · 11-17-2005, 08:06 PM

Hello Sammy

I am a man that used to be married to a Russian woman. The marriage changed drastically once she arrived. This was on March 15th 2003. I filed for the divorce 4 months after her arrival and a few weeks later she filed DV charges on me. There were no police involved during our marriage and I have a spotless record. However there was a protective order civil trial based on a 'she said' accusation. The judge ruled that a "pushing and shoving incident" took place and I was found guilty of this on July 30th 2003.

My then wife I believed used this 2 year protective order to stay away and probably some affidavits from her Russian friends to file a I-360 petition. She moved away and fortunately I have not seen her since.

Since then I have made my story known on Russian women marriage boards (for American men who have Russian wives or are looking for Russian/Ukrainian women for marriage). My story of this false DV charges, my trial and divorce have been read 19,400 + times.

Because of my notority and openess about the use an I-360 to self petition by Russian/Ukrainian women I am being contacted all the time by men who are either in the process of getting a divorce/anullment or are in trouble with false allegations by their Russian wives. I help them as much as I can by E-mailing and phone calling to give them support and guidance through these difficult times. I even get calls from men from other countries asking for help and information. At this time I am helping 3 men with Ukrainian wives who are trying to exit their marriages and avoid false allegations and possible imprisonment based on false domestic violence charges.

Anyway I would like to introduce myself to you. I see that you have an interest in this subject and have some working experience as well. It would be great if we could talk some time. I don't know how to leave you a PM with my contact information.

I would to say to Lau66 (Laura?) that I am sorry to hear about the terrible thing that is happening to you. I understand the extreme emotional pain at times like this. I remember my own. Please know that you are not alone. There are thousands of victims like you through out America every year. It does take some time to get over these things. But you will. Keep your faith.

Maxx

**Maxx** · 11-28-2005, 05:32 PM

Hello Lani

The message board is Russian Women Guide or www.rwguide.com .

In order to access it you need to join. It is free and only takes a minute to join much like this site.

My story I posted below has been looked at 19,400 + times. It happened in July of '03.

I am glad to have found Sammy's information (Where's Sammy!?) as it confirms allot of what I had been told and further explains why the INS acts the way they do. From what I know they also have to consider the immigration appeal courts or EOIR. So it is much easier and cheaper to pass the abuse petitions through than to refuse them and be stuck arguing their decisions with the EOIR courts.

So thank you Sammy for the last pieces of this puzzle for me.

I am considering starting my own website in regard to using false spousal abuse charges for a getting a green card. One of subjects I want to cover is the fruitlessness of trying to get justice from the CIS (INS) and the reasons why.

Also want to give advise on how to detect marriage scammers and legal manuvers (sp) if one is married to someone whom they suspect is only in the marriage for a green card. I have the help of a good divorce attorney and some immigation attorneys as well a Russian woman who owns a detective agency www.Russian-Detective.com who traces these scams. And there are others I am dealing with who would be willing to help. Something has got to be done about this fraud as it cause extreme pain and injury to those who fall victim to it.

http://www.rwguide.com/modules.php?n...eqd=15&start=0

Divorcing my RW wife

Hello All:

These last months have eaten me alive. I wake every morning depressed and have little energy to carry on with my life. All of this started when my wife (K3) came. I hope by posting this story I can release all of this from inside me. I ask two things, please do not move this story to the Scam section as it belongs here and not with the usual and please go easy on me folks.

In Russia my wife was warm, affectionate and most of all kind. She would say to me "How is my honey?" and "You are my kind (man)". I looked forward to the time when she would come to me in America. While I waited I would think of her and imagine our life together. I wanted to raise her son as my own and someday he would help and eventually run my business if that was his choice.

When the embassy sent the packet 4 and the notification letter as to the interview date I was with her there in Russia. At that time she sat me down for a serious talk. She said she was worried about her mother's living conditions and that she needed to sell the small house the one they were living in the one without hot water. I always for the the last year offered to fix the place up, put in a hot water heater and make it comfortable but it there was always an excuse from her not to.

I told her that instead of selling the house just fix it slowly and have her mother move into the center of the city in an comfortable apartment that I will rent for her. This way she could come to me immediately. Another excuse.

After she got her visa she hesitated about coming to me right away. She wanted to stay for at least a month and a half to help her mother. I was rather hurt that she would not come to me right away but I understood that she needed to take care of her business first.

Then for the next week she seemed to be in no hurry to come and didn't want to talk about it. Then all of a sudden she wanted to come right away. She said she was worried about the war in Iraq and would not get on a plane after this war started. I assured her there was no problem but she remained unconvinced. So eager to get her here I ordered the tickets for a departing flight from Moscow to JFK airport.

When she arrived I was at the airport to greet her. I expected her to rush to me. Throw her arms around me give me lots of kisses and tell me she loved me and I the same. When she came around the corner she gave me a slight smile, a quick peck of a kiss and shoved the handle of her rolling case into my hand and said "here". I was shocked. She got into the cab and sat at the far side. When she got back at the hotel she got into bed with her 7 year old son and not me.

The sleeping "arrangement" never changed over the next four nights. When I asked her to start sleeping with me she got violently angry. Her eyes were filed with hate and she told me she would never sleep with me.

Yes there was a coldness about her but sometimes for a moment I would see the woman that I loved back in Russia and I thought "perhaps if I was patient enough... maybe" Then after a month of this I thought maybe I had married a GCG.

So what to do? Off to see lawyers both divorce and immigration and make statements and gather evidence.

From the beginning she pushed me to send money to "Momma" by Western Union. The house was "sold" and the new owners were about to move in and momma needed the extra money for the newer apartment. As the money didn't come in fast enough for her my wife standing next to me at the Western Union office fumed AND looked worried.

Over that time I was not kept informed about the progress of buying the new apartment. Only by me asking was I told that momma was still living at the "sold" house and this was two months AFTER the house "sold."

Finally after getting a new divorce lawyer who works much faster and gets things done I filed divorce. I went to my wife one more time to tell her kindly that we can not make each other happy and are getting a divorce. She cried and stood by the door. I put my arms around her. Her arms hung limply by her side and I kissed her softly on her cheek and said "I love you. I will always love you. Goodbye" And I left.

Later that evening I called her and asked her how she was doing. She said her body felt sick and asked me when I would call her again. I said "Tommorow". I tried calling her every day after that but nothing.

Four days go by and I stop by some mutual Russian friends of ours. I am told that she called her Russian girl friend from her home city and who is now living here and her friend adviced her to check herself into a home for battered women and claim emotional abuse. It was all setup to where to go and this "friend" of mine drove her over there. I was told that "she WILL get her green card and eventually citizenship". "The organization" she is with "is politically powerful" and "she will get all the help she needs". Also I was told that I "need not worry about a thing" there will be "no charges against you" (True so far, 10 days and counting) and "she is not your problem" "forget about her" "Go about your business" and "Don't mention any of this to the BCIS."

I leave to visit my friend John. I cannot be alone that night. On the way over there driving on some country roads I emotionally break down. I have never cried so hard in my life. My insides felt like they were coming out of my mouth. I am not crying for myself I am crying because I could clearly see that there are people who could do such these things with cold blood cruelty. Me emotionally abusive?! I have been walking on eggshells these months because of fear of my wife and at the advice of my attorneys and besides it is my nature not to want problems. I just want a peaceful happy life with a loving woman.

When I got back to my apartment I noticed the caller ID and storage of names. I noticed the calls from her Russian girl friends and the calls from her friends who brought her to the shelter. I also noticed calls from a Russian man Andrey and an Hispanic man Chavez. Chavez called repeatedly never leaving a message and this was after she left. Finally I spoke to him, a young man from his voice. I told him the my wife was no longer loving here and he said "I see OK" and he has not called since.

Finally the truth has come to me. Yes she was a GCG and her nature is not kind but selfish. But there is more. The money I sent her mother was not to buy a better apartment it was to buy ME. The people back in Russia told my wife to "stop putzing around and get to America and get our money... or else." I was a mark pure and simple to my wife. She would get her better life, they would get their money and I would be left with my pockets hanging out.

There is more to this story than I can tell you. People in the know I have spoke to, say it is a very common story with women from the FSU. Many come with a Plan and it is executed in a cold blooded manner. If they change personalities (not just a mood change from jet lag and culture shock) and become cold and distant you got a problem. See a attorney right away and make a statement, do not do AOS, file for divorce first and document everything.

Last edited by maxx on 07/25/03 11:42 AM, edited 1 time in total

Maxx,
Your best defense is possibly the evidence that you filed for divorce of were about to before the DV charge.(pretty **** suspicious) Your second best defense is to be just as cold and heartless as she. Once you walked out you should not have spoken to her,(why do men have this NEED!) as a matter of fact filing your own restraining order prior to all this would really be a clincher. Something like this is not a condemnation of FSU women. It is more a criticism of some men who go to the FSU and make poor choices. Same as men who get taken advantage of (this includes me) by AW. The choice and ball were in your court and you chose to play. I won't belabor the point but all you can do defend yourself, be a man and be as cold and without remorse as your adversary.
You even fell for the "don't worry we will solve this amicably" routine while she was preparing to lower the boom. (American wives do this all the time and men get "****er" punched before the bell even rings) 99.9 percent of the time DIVORCE IS WAR AND THERE AIN"T NO GENEVA CONVENTION. So figure out what you can do and do it. There may be two ways;
1. If all she wants to do is stay, you could let her and not make trouble if she makes no demands on you and drops the DV. You WILL potentially be responsible for the child if she does not do well. I864 will kick in for him but probably not her. She may not be willing to do this and may be willing to try to take you to the cleaners so you may only have number 2.
2. You can fight (and may have too) as hard as you can either to win or to stay out of jail. You may not know everything she has in store for you yet.

Ron Woody MD WitchDoctor

Update

I went to the Sheriff's ofice to see if the papers had been delivered. They had not because the shelter she is at won't let that happen or give a living location if she has moved to the deputy. The lady clerk who told me this had a surprize for me. She handed me a restraining order. Aparently my wife has accused me of DV charges as well. The trial is this Wednsday. She wants spousal maintance and health insurance. Strange as it is mixed with a restraining order.

Of course all her charges are untrue and the statements she claims I made sound like something a Cave Man would say Quote: "I haven't had *** for four days. I am going to kill myself" Then he kept repeating on and on in a rage. "I have not had *** in four days, four days. You have broken my dreams."

The good news is she has no proof of anything before my filing. She may get some false witnesses though. I will let you guess there Nationality. This is a nightmare for me. To the Godly out there pray for me. I need it. My attorney says we have a 80% probability of winning this one if she doesn't get some witnesses to lie for her. I would have to say that they will say I neglected her and didn't give her any money (how about the $3800 sent to her and later her mother in 8 'easy' payments).

I will keep you posted.
Maxx

Maxx posted his story here, not only as a catharsis for himself, but as a caution to the rest of us. We must learn from this and take steps to keep this kind of activity from becoming an epidemic.

First, I think American judges need to be better educated and alerted to the false charges of DV that RWs are making every day across this country. This board is only the tip of the iceberg, I'm sure.

Second, American men need a contingency plan in case they have rolled the dice and they come up "snake eyes"! What if, in spite of red flags, many of which we only acknowledge after the fact, a WM finds himself with a GCG or worse? He should go into a emergency mode to prevent what happened to Shane and others and now Maxx.

What would be the components of that emergency plan? Let's kick around some ideas....

The first part of that plan would be to resist the temptation to marry in her country, and, it seems to me, marrying later in the 90-day K-1 period could be wise as well. A friend of mine brought his fiancee here on a K1 and she behaved just like Maxx's wife as soon as she landed. Fortunately, my friend was able to send her home within the same week...potential catastrophe averted. But it wasn't easy for him and he used a lot of his brainpower and the police to accomplish it.

Once marriage occurs it would seem seeking annulment on the basis of fraud and misrepresentation would make more sense than divorce.

Also, filing for Adjustment of Status should be delayed as long as possible. I think Shane Neff's problems started the day he filed for the AOS. The delays may not be a fool-proof protection but they can serve to help smoke out any malintentions and bad actors. GCGs have a limit to how long they can keep up the act.

Once the GCG thinks she's out of the woods, she will tip her hand, and the man needs to remain calm and begin to do a little acting himself. He needs to continue to appear naive. He could surprise her with a family vacation to see her family and to avoid suspicion he should buy a ticket for himself and go along. Once back in FSU He can pretend to run to the store or go for a walk and instead grab a taxi to the airport and fly home - alone.

Using the legal system will not produce the same cost effective results (and can often produce catastrophic results). Men must be creative and inventive if they are to protect themselves.

Police often use sting operations to catch the bad guys. We have counter-terrorism plans in place and operations are ongoing.
WM need to use similar tactics to prevent and thwart the heartless GCG's ruthless and destructive schemes should we find that we are a mark.

I hope others will contribute ideas. No one going through this process is ever totally safe.

Ronnie

Last edited by ronnie on 07/28/03 07:57 AM, edited 3 times in total

Hey Max,

While Foxes advice to grab a breath of fresh air is good for the short term....you must stay focused and you must move FAST!

It is obivous that your wife is wasting no time.....she is now being advised by the true Russian scammers....and these people know success stories of skirting the law.....PLUS she has the misguided aid of the DV shelters. I understand that often and most times they are helping and serving a real need....but unfortunatly they are most likely unaware of this common and often reported DV scam with these VISA women.

You must know how truely serious this is for you and the fact that she had a PFA order ready and waiting for you...and to have the shelter people hand it over, yet at the same time refusing to take the divorce papers should indicate to you that you are about to be ucked in a major way.

I agree with Doc that you need a shark and a fast moving shark. Get the papers filed and strike hard and fast to get her sent back to the hell she deserves.

Gather all the info you can on this typical scam used by RW/UW...the ABUSE SCAM...gather it all up....print it all out and get into the hands of your lawyer....the first hearing often sets the tone for the whole case and you dont want to be playing catch up on this one.

Remember ...a judge often looks at a case first off by who threw their hat into the ring first...who brought charges.....its better if its you and not her....

Good luck

Randy

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