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I am desperate(wife filing for battered wife falsely) Help!

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  • #31
    Thank you SonofMichael for this

    "I speak from first hand experience unlike these other clowns. I was in the same situation as you. I delayed (not as long as you have) and every day I delayed made in worse for me financially and psychologically. I finally prevailed but the pain was horrendous. I am trying to save you from that pain. It is far worse than I can describe."

    I too am not one of these other clowns. I too speak from experience. I know your words are the truth. I would temper the support for life comment though...

    Here is BrianBenson's wife's situation.

    If she does not not claim abuse as a reason to stay she will have to spend allot of money on an immigration attorney to file a "good faith attempt at marriage" petition. Her chances would be much better if she had her husband agree to support with this petition. Even with that there us still a good chance she would be refused. Then when her EAD expires she would have to work illegally. There would be an interview she would have to attend at the local service center. She might get a grilling. Then there is all the appeals she would have to file to postpone her deportation. It's an expensive mess. Even if she manages to work her was through the quagmire and get a CG she will be caught in the system for many years to come.

    Now if she DOES claim abuse Wow! what a difference. She can self petition herself at the Vermont Service Center. They will not require her to go to an interview. They will not and I mean positively WILL NOT contact BrianBenson for his side of the story. He can have detective's photos and videos of her cheating and they won't want them. They will take only her statement and "evidence" that has been carefully gone through by her attorney to decide whether she was abused or not. Now abuse or should I say "abuse" has a very broad definition (See here So it's rather easy for Brian to be considered guilty especially since she is the one interpreting their married life together and making the unchallenged claims.

    So what does she get. Well in three business weeks she will get an "Prima facia" determination document that allows her to get all immigration benifits and stay all deportation orders until her abuse petition has been approved or disapproved.

    Then if the VAWA staff see's something in her petition that they need further explaining or addition to they send this back to the local service center for her ti correct and send back.

    Now here is the good part for her. When she is supposed to get her 2 year conditional she gets instead a 10 year, good until 2018, full blown with all the bells and whistles Green Card. PLUS! she gets on the fast track of USC. In only 3 years she can get her citizenship and start the "top of the list" petitions for visas of her immediate family.

    Yet she might need some "primary evidence" of abuse to make all this happen.


    • #32
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by max-one:
      She can self petition herself at the Vermont Service Center. They will not require her to go to an interview. </div></BLOCKQUOTE> It is not I say "I am abused", and they say "OK, here is your GC". There is an interview.
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by max-one:
      When she is supposed to get her 2 year conditional she gets instead a 10 year, good until 2018, full blown with all the bells and whistles Green Card. PLUS! she gets on the fast track of USC. In only 3 years she can get her citizenship and start the "top of the list" petitions for visas of her immediate family. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>She has a 2 year conditional card.. and no, she wan't be eligible to file for citizenship under 3 year rule.


      • #33

        Edited for fear of the crazy.


        • #34
          All the things (escept Number 2) you say are

          1. Stupid
          2. Ridiculous
          3. Will have you arrested (filing a false missing persons report)
          4. Insane

          All you should have done (a long time ago) was file for the annulment and have it put out as a public notice.

          Do not contact her or the police or do anything else. If you wake up and get the annullment based on marriage fraud, she will never get a gree card or get a TRO. It may be too late because of your ridiculous procrastriination (but I can not condemn you too such since I did the same for a little while). She is probably readig this forum and planning around (and laughing at you).

          You must file immediately file for an annullment for fraud ad have a public notice put out there. Why you would even consider the other nonsense you suggested is beyond me.


          • #35
            Edited for fear of the crazy.


            • #36
              Edited for fear of the insane.


              • #37
                OK EVERYONE; You saw how I tried talking sense to this retard and I will have nothing further to say. Lets all laugh in a few months when it finally dawns on thia guy what is really happening. Don't say I didn't rry. How many of these does this one make ? 10-12??


                • #38


                  • #39
                    Brian, many of the people you are asking advice from have not been in your position. They also have not suffered the consequences and see the need to take decisive action to avoid this getting much worse. As tactless and insulting as SOM is he is trying to tell you to be careful.

                    Do us all a favor and keep us posted as to the events.


                    • #40


                      • #41
                        I told you thousands of time the one and only thing you should do. Do not dare say I did not give you the one and only piece of advice that will "uncloud" your mind and be done with this.

                        ANNUL the marriage by a public notice. If she is in her country she will never be able to respond. Your chess game is over by default (default judgement that is). She comes back, gives you some, the day of the interview, you hand the immigration officer the anullment papers, walk out and laugh. What exactly are you confused about? There is only ONE thing you should do and stop irritating me.

                        I swear to God, I would have paid a million dollars for this advice when I needed it.
                        This doofus is turning down priceless advice.


                        • #42
                          Yes sonofmichael, I already stated I was going to do that. But it's labor day weekend, so I have to wait until Tuesday.

                          In the mean time, tell me how to go about doing that. Where do I annul it?


                          • #43
                            You need a lawyer. It is possible to do yourself but the risk is too high. Time is of the essence. Some lawyers are relunctant to do annulments, some states do not have it, it seems like you are in New York because it is one of the few states that have the grounds you discussed. New York has annulment. Some lawyers do not like to do service by public notice. You insist on it because you can't find her and you tell him you have no idea where she is. You want it done immediately. He works for you. You do not spend tons of money.

                            A public service notice is one that is printed in newspapers when you can't find your spouse or the person you are suing. Do not tell him you think where she might be. All you have are rumors. You don't know. period. You suspect fraud. You sue for annullment and make her prove that its not. She doesnt show up, you get a default judgment. You keep your mouth shut and do not tell anyone about it. You never tell her that you got it. You hide it in your lawyers office or a bank deposit box. If she ever serves you for divorce you present these papers. The divorce is estopped because there is no marriage to be divorced from. She can challenge the annullment but will be out of time and money. If she "reconciles" you take advantage of her and when you go to the interview you hand the officer the annullment papers and walk out.

                            You got it?

                            First thing Tuesday you go.(some lawyers are open Sunday and Monday).


                            • #44


                              • #45
                                In my many contacts with men in these situations I know that in certain Bible Belt states a one year wait before you can file for a divorce is the law, North Carolina as example.

                                Annulment? Many lawyers will tell you it can't be done because they are inexperienced in this this and just want the money they get from a simple divorce. Also too you do need some grounds for an anullment. You might want to look back and see if there is any. I seriously doubt though if an anullment was refused you would get into any trouble. You just need to do some consulting with various attorneys on this.

                                Also Divorce consultations are usually free. Don't take the first attorney you talk to. This is VERY common urge. Resist it until you have several choices and then decide who should represent you. Usually the attorney other attorneys recommend is the best choice that is why I urge you to consult with an immigration attorney and get their recommmendation of an attorney they know that knows divorce and how imigration issues affect it. As example you sign an "Affidavit for Support" agreeing to take care of her. The average divorce attorney knows NOTHING about this. They also do not know the counter arguments that they might need if your wife's attorney tries to bring this up and use it as leverage in a divorce settlement. So get the right attorney and spend a little time doing it. You won't regret this.

                                In regard to the friend/next-door-neighbor attitude. The first thing that came to my mind was that you wife has been poisoning him in regard to you. One of the red flags a guy should watch for is the wife's friends growning distant or hostile to them. This is because the wife is looking for possible support or understanding. If they are in the US it's because she is hoping they will cooperate in signing affidavits in regard to their husband's being abusive and or looking for them to take them in once the marriage ends.

                                The last thing to rememeber is guys in your position get very sentimental and forgiving. They lose all common sense. This is the time they go back to their wives often with an invite and then get setup on false DV charges of rape or stalking. I have seen guys each spending 10's of thousands of dollars defending themeselves against these allegations. One guy I know has a civil trial in November for a lawsuit against him for $250,000 for her psychological damage and her self inflicted wounds. He was lured back to "talk about ending the marriage peacefully". Some do this for Green Cards and others for a nest egg to help start out their new life in America. The men all wished they had stayed far far away from their wives and left all communication through the lawyers. Even a phone call can be spun to say the man was making terroristic threats which can lead to their arrests. The smart guys make sure their wives never even know when they are alone (without alibis). They don't even answer the phone or door unless they know who it is. These are crazy times let me tell you.


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