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I am desperate(wife filing for battered wife falsely) Help!

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  • #16
    how long have you all been married for?

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    • #17
      What a moron. Thats all I have to say. He hasnt even filed for divorce. I am not even married yet and I already have my divorce papers ready.

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      • #18
        Been married for 2 years.

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        • #19
          That seems to be the magic number, Brian. Once the 2 year mark passes, conditions can be removed. I think I smell a rat here - on her part. If you have reason to believe she is scamming you, hire a private detective for a short period to see if she has another guy involved and if so, get proof. This will help offset any abuse charges she tries to file.

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          • #20
            edited.

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            • #21
              this guy is so retarded it is scary. Yea keep yapping and worrying what shes up to while you sit there and do nothing. You are so stupid YOU should be deported.

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              • #22
                IN NYS and some oter states you need grounds for divorce such as adultery, abandonment for more than one year, etc... abandonment can be "constructive abandonment" which means she refused s e x ual relations with him for more than one year. If he was not such a nitwit, he would fire that lawyer and get one with some sense. But he is another nitwit. This must be the 10th one on this board that will ignore me and then be Oh I am so surprised that my spouse is divorcing me stories.He isso stupid it is beyond belief.

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                • #23
                  edit

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                  • #24
                    BrianBenson,
                    Let me chime in here and give you my two cents.

                    First, you and your wife have some serious issues and lets discuss each one.
                    1) Whether you like it or not, you are a mama's boy. The first step is to set priorities for yourself, not your mother's priorities. You mother is controlling you and your wife sees that, as well as her family. And I can see it too from the posts you made. And you have made the first step by trying to become independent, but you need to do more. You also need to stand up for your wife against your parents. Do not make the mistake of choosing your parents over your wife, And that is exactly what happened when you said, "you and your mother were attacked by her and her family."
                    2) your parents, particularly you mother, were probably against her as the wife. They did not approve of her, despite what they may have said. They acted as if she was not welcomed and had hostility from the very beginning. By you defending your mother, you chose to be against your wife. That can kill any marriage. You need to take a good hard look at what transpired.
                    3) You have a communication problem and it needs to be solved. Marriage counseling is the best way. She needs to make adjustment and you do to.
                    4) Both of you have anger issues that need some serious conseling. If you are arguing with her constantly, finding fault with her constantly, and accusing her constantly, then you are just as much to blame as she is. And it stems from your controlling mother.
                    5) You need to forget that she told you she was a good girl. So what if she had relationships in the past, including sexual relationships. It would be different if she had an affair when the two of you were married. But when you said you had an outrageous *** life, that tells me neither of you are innocent.
                    6) Personally, I think your wife is attacking your mother through you and you are an extension of your mother. Remember, mama's boy.
                    7)Her parents tried to make reconciliatory efforts and you rejected them. This prove one thing to her that you are immature. If they were giving up a $100 a month as a sacrifice, that says something more about her parents, than yours. But I am not saying her parents are saints, far from it. The anger problem and the bad girl stuff probably stems from her escaping from her fathers abuses.

                    You should not wait for her to call you. That game, played by both of you, is dead. You need to make an honest reconciliatory effort if you want the marriage to strengthen and grow. And this can occur while both of you are separated. I still think there is hope for you both, both of you are just as guilty as your parents in this whole affair and just as innocent. Both have been abused and used by the parents, yet boht of you do not recognize it. And that is the saddest truth.

                    If you go after divorce, I would try to get it over with as soon as possible. Again, both of you are just as guilty for domestic abuse and have not told the whole truth. File for irreconcilable differences and be done with it.
                    "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

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                    • #25
                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by davdah:
                      Who ever told you about being separated a year before you can file for divorce is probably wrong. I have never heard of that. You can check with the local court system. Google it for your state. There is bound to be an abundance of info available.

                      From what you said it is probably the case you will not be able to undo her upbringing. Why bother? All you will get is anguish etc. Since she is used to that. She probably sees you as being weak since you don't beat the krap out of her. Had a girlfriend like that once. They will see you as the kind savior in one moment and the weak mouse the next.

                      If the police report more or less shows you and your mom were being attacked you have the upper hand. If they are ignorant of immigration laws they may believe its two years since marriage and not in April. Many make that mistake. If her parents are here on a tourist visa they have to leave eventually. Six months per stay is the longest on a tourist visa I think, or maybe three, not sure. Take that into account as to what may come next.

                      Be careful and don't assume anything nice coming from them. It was your tire that got stabbed last time. Don't let it be your back next. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
                      Some states do require a mandatory separation before granting the final divorce, Davdah, and generally it happens in either no fault or fault divorce.
                      "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

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                      • #26
                        "You need to make an honest reconciliatory effort if you want the marriage to strengthen and grow."

                        That is when they set their husbands up on false domestic violence charges. Here is the stats for the past few years on the number of abuse claims made against USC to get Green Cards.

                        5,800 FY 2003
                        6,700 FY 2004
                        8,300 FY 2005
                        9,500 FY 2006
                        10-12 thousand my estimate for this year.

                        Do you want to add your name to these stats? Then stay away from her. Remember, not everyone here wishes you well.

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                        • #27
                          edit

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                          • #28
                            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by BrianBenson:
                            Does anyone know how much an AOS case will take anyway? Certainly it's not something that she will be able to get done in a couple of days right? This thing has been going on for a week and a half. I'm sure I still have some time, though maybe not much.

                            Also does anyone know what I should do as far as the Affidavid of Support goes? I know I am still liable, but for how long and are there any situations where this can be withdrawn easily? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                            You are saying that she entered in April 06 and should remove conditions in April 2008? That implies that she entered on CR-1 immigrant visa. In that case there is no AOS.
                            For her to get CR-1 visa, you signed the Affidavit of support. It can't be withdrawn at this stage, and your obligations stop when:
                            - she becomes US citizen or
                            - has earned 40 credits (10 years of working)(if I remember well) or
                            - is no longer PR and leaves the USA

                            Since you also signed an Affidavit for her parents, your obligations here last 3 years.

                            If she entered on K3, the story is different. Which one was it?

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                            • #29
                              Edited

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                              • #30
                                Not only will she get a green card but it is HIGHLY likely that you will go to jail and have to support her for the rest of your life. ANYONE that says to talk it out or lead you to believe that this is all some "misunderstanding"is lying. If you try to talk to her or do ANYTHING BUT FILE AN ANULLMENT IMMEDIATELY you are an idiot. You are not romantic. You are not understanding. You are not patient. You are just an idiot. And as countless people involved in the same situation as you will testify you are being used and a fool. Stop analyzing and file for an anullment for fraud immediately or stop wasting our time here. You have been warned. If you do not do this today then you have no one to blame but yourself for the consequences; which I PROMISE will be severe.

                                There is no penalty for a woman to lie and say she was abused. She can have you put in jail simply by telling police you abused her. And nothing will happen to her.

                                I speak from first hand experience unlike these other clowns. I was in the same situation as you. I delayed (not as long as you have) and every day I delayed made in worse for me financially and psychologically. I finally prevailed but the pain was horrendous. I am trying to save you from that pain. It is far worse than I can describe.

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