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I met my K1 fiance' in Russia in June of 2004. I spent 16 days with her in her town in Yeisk in Russia. A week after I went home, she called me in a hysterical, frantic, crying state and told me her abusive ex husband was going to head back to the town from the Czeck Republic and decapitate her because he had learned she had a new man from his mother. To respond to this, I relocated her to Moscow after wiring $5,000, and supported her and her kids for fourteen months, and I travelled to Russia a total of 9 times during this period. Her kids stayed with her Mom and she lived in Moscow. We filed for a VISA K1, and she arrived here in September, 2005. Almost immediately, she was depressed, negative - and not happy with anything.. she couldn't seem to find joy in anything.. except certain moments with me were very nice. We married in December, 2005. At the time we were married, she had been pregnant about 7 weeks and had prenatal sickness around the clock. She treated me horribly every minute of every hour of every day - and I exploded at her after about 7 weeks of this constant negativity.. I explained to her that I did not trust her. She became pregnant against my wishes, and twice interfered with my attempts to use contraception. One of these two times she got pregnant. I definitely felt like her desire to have a baby was more important than my desire not to have one. You see, I was married before and had 5 kids from a previous marriage - all my kids were grown up, in College and out in the world. I didn't want more, and was always up front about that... She insisted on an abortion, and I pleaded with her not to have one, but she wanted to prove to me that she could be trusted. She went ahead and did it against my constant pleadings that she not do so. While I didn't want more kids, I felt more strongly about her NOT having an abortion.
This woman in Moscow always made me feel like I was calling the shots, I was in charge, what I said went.. it was nice.. and not something I was used to with American woman. I liked it. She manicured me, massaged me, fed me, cared for me and would not leave me alone.. if you know what I mean... then BAM, she gets to America, and except for her never leaving me alone in bed, everything else changed. She became consumed with jealousy, about where I was, who I was with, etc., etc.. and you know what? I never, not once, not for a moment had any idea about anyone but her.. she was my dream, the love of my life.. and when she was always accusing me, checking on me, challenging my every account of where I was... who i was with, etc.. I started feeling insulted, and her lack of trust toward me ate away at me.. and deeply hurt me. I am a good man... and did not like the insinuations of impropriety. She would mill through my email (laptop for my job at home) looking for ill conceived emails to woman, she's check my caller-ids on my cell phone, write the numbers down and try them later.. she was consumed, obsessed with finding something wrong with me. Her tantrums and accusations would lead to violence.. she'd strike me... and I got sick of it.. I called the police. What other choice did I have? I certainly wouldn't and couldn't strike her back - and I wanted her to understand - that striking people IS NOT an option. I bought a bigger, newer house in preparation of her kids moving here in July 2006. I loved her kids, I was very good to them, and they loved me... daughter 18, son 16... neither kid had any relationship with their real Dad, so our connection was awesome.. I love kids, and am very good with kids. Her bad behavior did not stop. She had an outburst in September, and i had a restraining order taken out on her after she punched me in the face... She always insisted that people were talking about her.. or that they were conspiring against her, or that they just didn't like her... and I was so amazed because if you only knew how beautiful, smart and intelligent she was - you would simply not believe she was so insecure. She was nothing short of a knock out... so, I never understood the insecurity..
I filed for divorce. I suspended the restraining order and the divorce filing IF she agreed to go and see a pschiatrist and get helop for her problems. She did, and they stuck her on an anitdepressant. nothing changed...
About two weeks ago, she got violent again. I called the police, I got another restraining order and activated the divorce filing from September. She had to leave with her now 19 year old daughter. Her 16 year old son went back to Russia as he couldn't stand being around his Mom and her crazy volatile behavior any more. She abused him verbally and physically almost all the time.... Now, we have had a divorce hearing and she is looking for $5k for attorney retainer and $1500/month while she lives at the shelter. I am absolutely up to my nose in debt with all the stuff I bought her to make her happy in the new home. She furnished it.. and now, I don't have the money to pay these new demands... I am maxxed out... my mortgage is 3700 a month, my first marriage is costing me 5500 a month and I barely get by now...
I've been to attorneys and they want 5k retainers.. and I don't have it.. the judge ordered that I start paying on March 10th and they gave me 60 days for her attorney's retainer.
She has her conditional GC for a year now.. it is no good in March 2008.
What do I do?
This woman in Moscow always made me feel like I was calling the shots, I was in charge, what I said went.. it was nice.. and not something I was used to with American woman. I liked it. She manicured me, massaged me, fed me, cared for me and would not leave me alone.. if you know what I mean... then BAM, she gets to America, and except for her never leaving me alone in bed, everything else changed. She became consumed with jealousy, about where I was, who I was with, etc., etc.. and you know what? I never, not once, not for a moment had any idea about anyone but her.. she was my dream, the love of my life.. and when she was always accusing me, checking on me, challenging my every account of where I was... who i was with, etc.. I started feeling insulted, and her lack of trust toward me ate away at me.. and deeply hurt me. I am a good man... and did not like the insinuations of impropriety. She would mill through my email (laptop for my job at home) looking for ill conceived emails to woman, she's check my caller-ids on my cell phone, write the numbers down and try them later.. she was consumed, obsessed with finding something wrong with me. Her tantrums and accusations would lead to violence.. she'd strike me... and I got sick of it.. I called the police. What other choice did I have? I certainly wouldn't and couldn't strike her back - and I wanted her to understand - that striking people IS NOT an option. I bought a bigger, newer house in preparation of her kids moving here in July 2006. I loved her kids, I was very good to them, and they loved me... daughter 18, son 16... neither kid had any relationship with their real Dad, so our connection was awesome.. I love kids, and am very good with kids. Her bad behavior did not stop. She had an outburst in September, and i had a restraining order taken out on her after she punched me in the face... She always insisted that people were talking about her.. or that they were conspiring against her, or that they just didn't like her... and I was so amazed because if you only knew how beautiful, smart and intelligent she was - you would simply not believe she was so insecure. She was nothing short of a knock out... so, I never understood the insecurity..
I filed for divorce. I suspended the restraining order and the divorce filing IF she agreed to go and see a pschiatrist and get helop for her problems. She did, and they stuck her on an anitdepressant. nothing changed...
About two weeks ago, she got violent again. I called the police, I got another restraining order and activated the divorce filing from September. She had to leave with her now 19 year old daughter. Her 16 year old son went back to Russia as he couldn't stand being around his Mom and her crazy volatile behavior any more. She abused him verbally and physically almost all the time.... Now, we have had a divorce hearing and she is looking for $5k for attorney retainer and $1500/month while she lives at the shelter. I am absolutely up to my nose in debt with all the stuff I bought her to make her happy in the new home. She furnished it.. and now, I don't have the money to pay these new demands... I am maxxed out... my mortgage is 3700 a month, my first marriage is costing me 5500 a month and I barely get by now...
I've been to attorneys and they want 5k retainers.. and I don't have it.. the judge ordered that I start paying on March 10th and they gave me 60 days for her attorney's retainer.
She has her conditional GC for a year now.. it is no good in March 2008.
What do I do?
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