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  • #16
    Hello again SonofMichael,
    Thanks for the words of wisdom! Thanks for listening and championing me, and for hearing me out.

    1 Secrecy
    Since she's been here (entered USA 10/01/07), I have already threatened divorce and sending her back to Vietnam twice . BIG MISTAKE I GUESS. Right? I haven't told her of my plans as of Thursday, but I think she knows. I just won't tell her anything else.

    She doesn't share any account with me, nor does she have one of her own. I will open up a new one anyway and redirect my federal gov check. All I have is the life insurance I got with the fed gov. I never changed it when she came to include her. I will make up some story.

    2. Computer/Internet
    I will disconnect the internet and telephone and make up a story as advised. She has a cell phone, given to her by a cousin living in the area. He might even be aiding her in this situation. I'm not sure?

    3. Secret Annulment
    I will serve the papers asap and use the recommended excuse. Wow! Wait one year to show USCIS the judgement? Is this necessary? Is there any other way?

    4. I don't know if I can do this? Kind of mean spirited.

    5. I will keep all my tax documents, my passport, and all paperwork (petition, marriage license, copies of her passport, etc.). I don't think I can get her actual passport.

    I think she does love me, but I don't love her anymore. Too volatile and unbalanced, and too many years of bringing me down and pointing out my shortcomings (since July 2004). These last three months with her here have been hell.

    I think she'll hate me after all this for sure!

    Thanks you very much!

    tazman14302

    Comment


    • #17
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by tazman14302:
      Hello again SonofMichael,
      Thanks for the words of wisdom! Thanks for listening and championing me, and for hearing me out.

      1 Secrecy
      Since she's been here (entered USA 10/01/07), I have already threatened divorce and sending her back to Vietnam twice . BIG MISTAKE I GUESS. Right? I haven't told her of my plans as of Thursday, but I think she knows. I just won't tell her anything else.

      - Never threaten anyone with a divorce. It comes off as childish and bullying. Nothing will cause a woman to be more resenttful. Be a man and just do it.-


      She doesn't share any account with me, nor does she have one of her own. I will open up a new one anyway and redirect my federal gov check. All I have is the life insurance I got with the fed gov. I never changed it when she came to include her. I will make up some story.

      - If she can not access the acoount then I see no reason to change it. Am I missing something here?

      2. Computer/Internet
      I will disconnect the internet and telephone and make up a story as advised. She has a cell phone, given to her by a cousin living in the area. He might even be aiding her in this situation. I'm not sure?

      - I am sure - the "cousin" is her boyfriend. 100 % guaranteed.

      3. Secret Annulment
      I will serve the papers asap and use the recommended excuse. Wow! Wait one year to show USCIS the judgement? Is this necessary? Is there any other way?

      - Believe me, it will take those jokers at USCIS more than a year to do anything

      4. I don't know if I can do this? Kind of mean spirited.

      - Maiking love is not mean spirited; please send me pictures for my further analysis.

      5. I will keep all my tax documents, my passport, and all paperwork (petition, marriage license, copies of her passport, etc.). I don't think I can get her actual passport.

      - Hide everything in bank deposit box; especially marriage certificate

      I think she does love me, but I don't love her anymore. Too volatile and unbalanced, and too many years of bringing me down and pointing out my shortcomings (since July 2004). These last three months with her here have been hell.

      - She does not love you; sorry but 99% of women are incapable of true love

      I think she'll hate me after all this for sure!

      - They will hate you anyway. In fact; if you were going to make a bet, the odds are MORE likely that she will love you for doing this than hating you. Women are very odd.

      Thanks you very much!

      tazman14302 </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

      Comment


      • #18
        I would seriously ask for legal advice before you do any of those things you mentioned. It could backfire on you.

        Whatever you do, don't take her ID's or passport because that is not allowed.

        I am not accusing you of anything, but what you have done and what you might be doing is exactly what my husband did to me, but for a lot long period of time.
        Basically it can be seen as that you were controlling and held her GC over her head. This is classed as abuse.
        If she did ever make a claim of abuse, certain things can go in her favor, as she will point out that she had no access to anything and you didn't include her name on anything either.
        If you purposely cut phone, internet and anything else off, this will look bad for you in court as it might seem that you are isolating her.

        Once the divorce papers have been filed, there will be a temporary restraining order against both of you.
        You will not be allowed to transfer, change or do anything to your marital assets.

        What type of State is yours? Here in my State it is an equity State so basically all marital assets whether my name is not on them or not, I have interest in.
        You need to make a list of what is separate property and what you obtained since date of marriage.

        I really don't think you will be able to get an annulment as you need lots of proof which is hard to get.

        From what I have read, it seems that you have fallen out of love with her, and maybe she senses it and basically your marriage is failing.
        There is the culture shock too, it happens in most marriages that one of the spouses come from another country. It takes time to settle.

        The divorce will cost you, and in your case you might need an immigration attorney which again will cost loads of money.

        Think carefully before you do anything, is this what you really want?
        You haven't been together all that long, have you thought about counselling?

        Maybe she was looking for a GC, but then again she might not be, so think carefully before you make that big decision. A divorce is not cheap.

        If she has not got her EAD yet, when you file for divorce, she could ask for a temporary court order where she can seek temporary Spousal support. She could well get it, if she has no means to work or access to money.

        I would do things the right way, otherwise you could have it all backfire on you.

        Get legal advice first, and see what you should do next.
        -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

        National Domestic Violence Hotline:
        1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

        Comment


        • #19
          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:

          Whatever you do, don't take her ID's or passport because that is not allowed.

          </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


          So is being in this country illegally ! I am not saying he should TELL her he took them. But can he help it if SHE misplaced the documents?

          Comment


          • #20
            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Once the divorce papers have been filed, there will be a temporary restraining order against both of you. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

            Are you on CRACK? Who made this up? That is completely untrue. And if he is smart and acts quickly, the annullment based on fraud (or divorce) will cost less than $1500 and much less than if he delays.

            Comment


            • #21
              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> have you thought about counselling?
              </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

              Yea; you ARE on crack !!! LOL counseling. Like that would ever work !

              Comment


              • #22
                You see how fast they pull the abuse card? Excuse me but I did not have internet service until a few years ago; was I being abused? Does someone owe me a telephone? Help ! I am being abused because I don't have a telephone ! I lost my ID; I am being abused !! LOL; another crackhead.

                Hey do not be misled by these fraudsters; they only want to help a fellow fraudster.

                NO
                Counseling
                Second chances
                Reconciliation
                Delay
                Money to her


                YES
                Annulment
                TRO against HER abuse !
                Secrecy
                S E X
                New younger wife !!

                Comment


                • #23
                  Please don't listen to SOM, he really has no clue what he is talking about.

                  Just because he managed to do something regarding his situation, does not make him an expert in everyone else's case.

                  Unless you have absolute proof, you will not be able to get an annulment. In fact check that you State does do annulments, some don't.

                  SOM every State have their own guidelines, so don't tell him to do something that he won't be able to do, or might even be classed as illegal.

                  His wife is not illegal here.

                  If you don't get legal advice, then at least read about divorces in your State online.
                  Best place to start.
                  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                  God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

                  National Domestic Violence Hotline:
                  1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Som, you never give good advice to anyone, you sound like a broken record, annulment, illegal, the S word and tell people to break the law is your only vocabulary.

                    Like I told you before, you need to get over your past and move on, not everyone is like your ex wife.
                    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                    God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

                    National Domestic Violence Hotline:
                    1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Look you crack head; you say stupid retarded things like a divorce means there is an automatic TRO. This proves you are a liar. I know what I am talking about. I know everything.


                      Article on Virginia divorce and annulment law;

                      http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/VA/divorce/divexpln.htm#D...on%20and%20Annulment

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Hi Tazman14302,

                        Sorry to hear about the extreme difficulties you're having. The advice of the members here are valuable, take them into consideration.

                        If you have time, you can read some of the other members' posts here, their problems are tangent with the problem you have now (the recent ones that I can remember are those of SeanPatrick and Klinus).

                        Good luck!
                        Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, as long as ever you can.

                        --John Wesley

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          SonofMichael and Sprintgirl

                          I can not take advice from two members that have apparently been in an ongoing feud before I came onboard.

                          There is a gray area here, and I need constructive advice.

                          Thank you very much for all your help.

                          Mrs B I will read SeanPatrick and Klinus. Thank you!

                          tazman14302

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            I never dealt with this crackhead before. She is obviously "on the side" of the con artist. People like that confuse people on your situation into delay. But she does say see a lawyer and I say see one IMMEDIATELY. SO there is clear advice. See a lawyer IMMEDIATELY !

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Tazman, I'm sorry if it sounds that way, but SOM is actually a very well known member on this board for causing trouble, so please don't think everyone is like that.

                              I am only trying to explain there is more to just the immigration issue, you have to read or best still seek legal advice as divorces in every State are different and have different grounds for divorce, so its best to find which route to go down.

                              It is also best to talk with an immigration attorney and see if they can talk to your attorney that is dealing with the divorce, as often enough divorce lawyers do not know immigration law.
                              Your wife upon being served will seek an immigration attorney too or seek help from immigration groups, so it is in your best interest for your attorney to understand that side better.

                              Best of luck
                              -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                              God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

                              National Domestic Violence Hotline:
                              1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Davdah,
                                Thank you for the sound advice.

                                I don't want rake her through the coals, but I don't want to get burned either. I like the idea of the self petition for GC as a bargaining chip if she wants it.

                                She's not evil by any means. We're just not compatible. I won't mention vawa in our discussions.

                                Thanks again

                                tazman14302

                                Comment

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