Battered spouse / VAWA

[4now]

"Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry.
Mother's gonna make all your nightmares come true.
Mother's gonna put all her fears into you.
Mother's gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She wont let you fly, but she might let you sing.
Mama will keep baby cozy and warm"

Maybe the new Avatar is more appropriate

Ah now I see the connection. lol

I guess I was being Thick as a brick . Life has been taking a <span class="ev_code_RED">Tull</span> on me.

[klinus]

Originally posted by Mrs. B.:
Hi Klinus,

Just as I thought - my husband is an avid Pink Floyd fan. (I've become one too )

The thing that I miss the most in life is having got here too late to see the Wall; though it was a seminal event watching last year's reunion in Hyde Park and watch in amazement at 13 year old kids singing to Wish you were here.

[klinus]

Hey 4Now and Proud USC:

:Looks like her attorney is not talking to her – here's her retort after I told her that she could not have had the appointment date in September, particularly since the appointment was made Dec. 13.

For the last time, I don't have time to waste on your nonsense allegations without merit. Once again, you were given a copy of his hearing test along with a copy of his Jan 7th, 2008 follow-up appointment in front of witnesses when the same was provided to FUSD staff that assessed him in September 2007.

The same goes for police report # 071226039 which was reported based on false allegations. Your continued harassment towards me and lack of respect towards the current child custody order is resulting in undue stress and is unwarranted.

Here are some highlights (or should it be lowlights) from a sworn court declaration (the spelling mistakes are repeated verbatim):

Called several cross boarder guards to Canada stating "mother is kidnapping the
child to Canada".
Threatened to kidnap **** and take him to India and leave him in the "slumps of Calcutta".
Recently purchased Indian Army style clothing for **** stating that "he'll be in
the Indian Army if he ever gets out from the slumps of Calcutta".


Let me quote from my favorite band:
The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me till Im sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
Theres someone in my head but its not me.

The only way that I can allow her in his life is either a lobotomy or phscycatric treatment.

[4now]

Wow

She is running wild. Probably on verge of breakdown or having breakdown. Shelters and that lifestyle will do that to a person


Yes she is going to need treatment and feeling of being safe.

Please Klinus, you must recognize the difference between her being crazy and having a breakdown from living in those conditions. I am sure she came from family of means and this is a shocker to have had to live like she did.

Help her so that she can be a part of your sons life.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7sgo...eature=related

[klinus]

Originally posted by 4now:
Wow

She is running wild. Probably on verge of breakdown or having breakdown. Shelters and that lifestyle will do that to a person


Yes she is going to need treatment and feeling of being safe.

Please Klinus, you must recognize the difference between her being crazy and having a breakdown from living in those conditions. I am sure she came from family of means and this is a shocker to have had to live like she did.

Help her so that she can be a part of your sons life.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7sgo...eature=related

Hi 4Now:

There's the rub – to clap it takes 2 hands...

She's fighting on 2 fronts: the first is the USCIS, who has already terminated here conditional GC; second is me, and as long as I feel that my son is in danger I'm in
DEFCON 1 mode and, and the forces available are significant and creative.

The combination is formidable; she wasted the money in attorney fees; she should have spent it on an immigration attorney; right now, she is likely facing an NTA, and has already violated the AR-11. That's more money than she has. I am not saying that she won't finally get her 10 year card, but she it is likely to take at least 3 years before she gets a stamp (letters and said NCMEC poster were sent to every congressperson and Senator in California; there was even an AMBER alert).

Then what happens? She has not worked in the US, and will wind up having to live at least 50 miles away, which makes it impracticable for her to have any meaningful relationship with my son.

I have thought this through. The only humane solution is for her to head back to Canada, where the welfare system would attend to her psychiatric needs, which I anticipate will take at least 2 years. Plus, she will be home and not in the jungle that we have here. Then she is welcome to come and spend time with my son for some time during summers and maybe both Easter and Thanksgiving breaks, which I will pay for travel and lodging – NO WAY does my little boy go to Canada (notice that I said boy – I can't interfere if he wants to go once he is emancipated).

To be brutally honest, I do not have the bandwidth to take care of 2 disabled people and build my business.

This is what I was talking about the situation being complicated. It has not helped that she has left a trail of destruction with everybody that was important to me, including decimating my Church that I go to because they did not bother to check with me and I figured that the least I could do was let the parishoners know how their money was being spent - DEFCON 1

I'm open to suggestions and will really consider an alternative that will let our son have some relationship with his mother.

__________________________________________
Here's the priest's response to my letter asking what the f**k:
My only personal contact with ***** was when she came to borrow money for an attorney because of serious concern for the safety and welfare of herself and *****.

The money lent was not taken from parish funds. It was taken from a charity account to which people voluntarily donate to help the poor and those faced with emergency needs.

I have nothing further to contribute concerning this matter
_____________________________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcNL7W0vsF4

[klinus]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by 4now:
Wow


Please Klinus, you must recognize the difference between her being crazy and having a breakdown from living in those conditions. I am sure she came from family of means and this is a shocker to have had to live like she did.

Hi 4now:

Your statement about my being able to distinguish between her being crazy and having a a breakdown from living in the shelter got me thinking. Her brother admitted to some insanity in the family. The temporary nature of battered women's shelter living (4 months is considered the max) is that there is no research that have done about the impact of a long – term stay in such. (st least that I could google.

Is there any data that you know of? Of breakdowns and / or specifics about living conditions at these shelters? I have been unsuccessful on finding about this, especially the impact on toddler age children.

Thanks

[4now]

No Klinus

I dont have any data. But an aquaintance of mine is a psychologist and has had sessions with people who have had to stay in shelters for whatever reasons. This is back when I was doing some research on homelessness in america and the reasons and cause.


I dont think you need any data ... just think about it. put yourself in the same position.

How do you think it would affect you? It would be devastating dont you think? Thank God your little one is so young and hopefully will not remember this experience. I am sure she as well had all those bites all over herself too.

I dont know if you have ever done any work involving the homeless Klinus, or the real battered person .. but it is quite disturbing in itself. Just 4her to be around it would be enough to give her a breakdown. Even though she has probably suppressed outward symptoms.

Hudson I am sure would have some data in this area or could steer you to the information.

It might be a good idea 4u to spend a little time in this environment to know what you will be dealing with and perhaps have a little compassion 4 what they both have been going thru.

She is a broken woman. It will be a while before she can feel safe and whole again, and self sufficient.

Be gentle. you will be blessed 4 this.

Take care

[klinus]

Originally posted by 4now:
No Klinus

I dont have any data. But an aquaintance of mine is a psychologist and has had sessions with people who have had to stay in shelters for whatever reasons. This is back when I was doing some research on homelessness in america and the reasons and cause.


I dont think you need any data ... just think about it. put yourself in the same position.

How do you think it would affect you? It would be devastating dont you think? Thank God your little one is so young and hopefully will not remember this experience. I am sure she as well had all those bites all over herself too.

I dont know if you have ever done any work involving the homeless Klinus, or the real battered person .. but it is quite disturbing in itself. Just 4her to be around it would be enough to give her a breakdown. Even though she has probably suppressed outward symptoms.

Hudson I am sure would have some data in this area or could steer you to the information.

It might be a good idea 4u to spend a little time in this environment to know what you will be dealing with and perhaps have a little compassion 4 what they both have been going thru.

She is a broken woman. It will be a while before she can feel safe and whole again, and self sufficient.

Be gentle. you will be blessed 4 this.

Take care

Hi 4now:

Experience with homelessness
In a serendipitous moment, footloose and fancy free after having sold off my medical billing business I met a group of homeless activists at a UC Berkeley party. The net result was my company, which provides a full range of deployable structural solutions, suitable for any application or climate. Our modular systems are a fraction of the cost per square foot of most alternatives and can be deployed in as little as 12 hours; eventually we intend to become the key supplier for solving the global homeless problem. While we have had great successes internationally, we have yet to make significant strides domestically ;-(., except with FEMA (who is still licking their wounds from Katrina)

Long and short between the management team and advisors from the key international NGOs there is at least 250 years of homeless experience that I rub shoulders with on almost a daily basis, so by osmosis I can claim to have some knowledge of the problem.


What would I do in this situation?
I would commit seppuku with a blunt, rusted sword if I was dumb enough to allow myself to get into this situation and I certainly WOULD NOT drag my child into this

His experience at the shelter
The psych (who coincidently is a classical Birkenstock wearing type whose office is in Berkeley) is convinced that this experience, first of being rudely snatched from the only home he has ever known and have this unsettled, unstructured environment to deal with in his formative years, is going to leave permanent scars, especially with his autism. In fact, her thought is that it is not clear that no further contact with her, with its' concomitant cathartic value that may be worth the trade off of growing up without her.

In sum, I understand – I really do – the homeless experience – providing solutions for it is my career, and every good marketer has to understand their customer.

Having said that this is a self-inflicted wound; here is one of my customers http://www.sparrowvillage.co.za/home.asp?pid=31, where there is true need and the kids involved have no choice; spending time there was one of my more harrowing experiences.

My son does not need to be where he is now.I must rescue him; then I can be gentle. Broken or not, we do not negotiate with hostage takers.

Once he is back in safety, I still think that going back to Canada and getting psychiatric help and then having occasional visits with him here in the US is the way to go

[4now]

My son does not need to be where he is now.I must rescue him; then I can be gentle. Broken or not, we do not negotiate with hostage takers.


<span class="ev_code_RED">I completely understand</span>

Once he is back in safety, I still think that going back to Canada and getting psychiatric help and then having occasional visits with him here in the US is the way to go

I see no reason why she cannot get the help she
needs here in the usa and at the same time be able to have a relationship with the son.

Have to go right now but would like to hear more about your experience and work. Marvelous!

[klinus]

Originally posted by 4now:



I see no reason why she cannot get the help she
needs here in the usa and at the same time be able to have a relationship with the son.

!

Hi 4now:

1) Have no idea how long treatment will take for him; do not want to have treatment interrupted by deportation.
2) Mental health is not covered by HMO and is bloody expensive; My boy's treatment for autism is forecast to run $25K
3) In Canada, she will be covered by disability and will get treatment free (even though it may take forever (good old socialized medicine)

klinus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdfRAdr10Yo

[klinus]

I had written a letter to USCIS withdrawing my I-130 and I-864 back in early July after she disappeared with my son. I just got back a letter from the Laguna Niguel CSC stating that her A# did not exist. This was after a letter showed up addressed to her from the same office stating that her conditional CPR had been cancelled and that all her immigration benefits had expired as of the date of cancellation. Does this mean indeed that her file has been terminated?

[4now]

Originally posted by klinus:
I had written a letter to USCIS withdrawing my I-130 and I-864 back in early July after she disappeared with my son. I just got back a letter from the Laguna Niguel CSC stating that her A# did not exist. This was after a letter showed up addressed to her from the same office stating that her conditional CPR had been cancelled and that all her immigration benefits had expired as of the date of cancellation. Does this mean indeed that her file has been terminated?

Yes indeed it is a termination letter. Dont get all excited yet Klinus, Once the divorce is final she will be able to apply for the waiver.

When was her conditional card due to expire?

[klinus]

Originally posted by 4now:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by klinus:
I had written a letter to USCIS withdrawing my I-130 and I-864 back in early July after she disappeared with my son. I just got back a letter from the Laguna Niguel CSC stating that her A# did not exist. This was after a letter showed up addressed to her from the same office stating that her conditional CPR had been cancelled and that all her immigration benefits had expired as of the date of cancellation. Does this mean indeed that her file has been terminated?

Yes indeed it is a termination letter. Dont get all excited yet Klinus, Once the divorce is final she will be able to apply for the waiver.

When was her conditional card due to expire? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
I'm not getting all excited; just trying to find the facts.

CPR Expired July 9 '07; at this rate termination of marriage is 2012 at the earliest. So there is a long haul between now and getting some relief.

"@@@ continues to have nightmares and am concerned. He will have nightmares from the night I pick him up from you for a day or two and then settle in for the remainder of his time"

She continues to be clueless...

[klinus]

Something is not computing. Even if she had filed VAWA, she would not have done so until after I filed for divorce (mid June) and VAWA is running 6 months or more. She has obtained a CA driver's license in the past 3 months when she would definitely have been unable to show proof of legal status.

What gives?

[Sprint_girl07]

Klinus, I may be wrong, but there is a way where someone can have their A# changed to where the USC can no long have access to that #.
If I remember correctly it is when someone files a VAWA.
I remember the immigration attorney telling me about it. Either the VAWA or something a long those lines.