S.O.S. my american husband makes my life a living hell!

[swiss-CA]

Kathy,
ich habe nicht alle posts gelesen, aber wollte nur sagen wie leid es mir tut dass Du in so einer Situation bist. Es sieht aus wie Du Deine Ehe retten moechtest, und dass ist Deine Entschei****, aber sei bereit, es wird sich wahrscheinlich nie aendern. Du hast alles aufgegeben und bist in die Staaten gezogen. Es hat nicht geklappt wie Du es Dir vorgestellt hast. Du bist ungluecklich, geh nach Hause. Du hast sicherlich Familie oder Freunde in Holland. Bis Du Die GC bekommst kann sehr lang gehen. Und Du musst Dich fragen ob es wert ist mit so einem Mann zusammen zu sein. Ich finde es laecherlich wie einige Mitglieder hier ungewollte Antworten geben. Ich bin in solchen abusive Beziehungen gewesen, und weiss was Du meinst wenn Du sagst Du hast niemanden. And just one more thing, you gotta love yourself more than you love anybody else. Vergiess dass nicht. Good luck.

[Babybeh]

Comon Sonofmichael hold your breath you gonna get looser too.
But from your rear end!!!!!!!!!!!

[nadia]

Whoa! If you're the type that advocates beating women, whatever the reason then your case is a sad one. <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> These women NEED and DESERVE daily beatings.

Hey if you are so "strong" and you are really abused, why not just leave and start your own life without leaching off of men. Stop blaming men for the trouble in your life. Get a job. Get a Life. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[nadia]

Kathy, there's a myth out there among many American men that foreign women are more compliant. You see, many American women will not put up with their cr*p. They believe that a foreign woman will be grateful to come to this country. There's a plethora of web sites dedicated to finding foreign brides. I'm sure there are honorable men in search of foreign women for cultural reasons etc. but there's also a large number that are in search of 'compliant' types, who they may subsequently abuse. I suspect you found one of the latter. I'm sorry about your situation.

However America has a large number of resources to help women like you. Don't be dissuaded by those who would suggest you are a scammer. If you are speaking the truth, then go find these resources and get help for yourself. If you send me a private message, then I can help you in your search.

[nadia]

Let me be quite clear that I'm not referring to all American men. Obviously that would not be true. I have personally witnessed remarks made by some of them (hopefully this kind is a minority) about American women. To this the women counter that they will not tolerate cr*p from abusive men. I am aware that some men are insecure enough to prefer a compliant type of woman and seek them from foreign countries. I know of a widower with 5 children, who, rather than hire a maid to take care of them, is busy advertising online for a wife to act as a stay at home Mom to take care of his children. The American women are not biting, so he's looking overseas for someone. That's just one example.

On the other hand, I've heard of horror stories of foreign women who take advantage of American men, then dump them when they got the GC. Both sides obviously take a risk in marrying someone who they do not know well, and who could have less than wholesome motives for entering into the marriage.

You're right davdah. There's more than one side to any story.
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by davdah:
Compliant? Uhh.. no. That isn't it. What cr*p is it that American women won't put up with? Maybe that has something to do with it. The idea that an american man has cr*p to give in the first place. In most of the world we American men are thought of as the most desirable to find. Wierd isn't it.

By the way sonof was just being sarcastic. You need to understand a males sense of humor to get it. In most situations where things are going south there is fault on both sides. You'll never hear from the husbands their side so its easy to demonize them here. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Leyna]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ProudUSC:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by iperson:
What?? Along with your picture?

Kathy, if you're still here, don't you dare contacting anyone asking you for your picture or any other private information. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Really good advice, Iperson. I can't believe the number of people here who actually post their emails and phone numbers! I guess it's innocent naivity, but this old 'dog' knows better! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's her choice to contact me or not. It's your kindness to advice her but unfortunately you're totally wrong.

If you read my other posts you might know that I was seeking for help here also.

I now got out of cruelty, and I got help. I wanted for a picture so that I know who I would be talking to.

Again, you guys can give Kathy all kind of comment but not worth what other people were in the same situation have gone thru.

[Leyna]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by iperson:
What?? Along with your picture?

Kathy, if you're still here, don't you dare contacting anyone asking you for your picture or any other private information. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's her choice to contact me or not. It's your kindness to advice her but unfortunately you're totally wrong.

If you read my other posts you might know that I was seeking for help here also.

I now got out of cruelty, and I got help. I wanted for a picture so that I know who I would be talking to.

Again, you guys can give Kathy all kind of comment but not worth what other people were in the same situation have gone thru.

[cmartina]

You should try contacting inMotion. It's an organization that helps women file for divorce. http://www.inmotiononline.org/

With respect to your immigration status. Admittedly I did not read your entire post thoroughly, so I'm not sure what your status is nor whether you wish to remain in the US. If you go to inMotion, you should ask them about your immigration status. There is a law, called the Violence Against Women Act, which allows married women to self-petition to adjust their status either to legal permanent residents or to USC. (I think.) I am not sure how emotional abuse fits into this.

Either way, there are numerous organizations that provide free legal support. Worst comes to worse, you can always attempt to contact your local legal aid office. They are likely to at the very least have a list of people you can contact.