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  • Help please

    I came to the US 4 yrs ago on a fiancee visa, got pregnant, found out my fiance was on drugs. He abuses me physically all the time and says that I can go back to Germany (my home) but will leave my son, who is 3 yrs old, withhim, or he will have me arrested. Can anyone please give me some advice. Is it possible for me to stay here, can I report the abouse? I am desperate. I know, from reading posts that some people will be nasty. Please can someone give me constructive advice on what to do. I am, of course, now illegal, since my K1 visa expired.
    I am not prepared to leave my son with him.

  • #2
    I came to the US 4 yrs ago on a fiancee visa, got pregnant, found out my fiance was on drugs. He abuses me physically all the time and says that I can go back to Germany (my home) but will leave my son, who is 3 yrs old, withhim, or he will have me arrested. Can anyone please give me some advice. Is it possible for me to stay here, can I report the abouse? I am desperate. I know, from reading posts that some people will be nasty. Please can someone give me constructive advice on what to do. I am, of course, now illegal, since my K1 visa expired.
    I am not prepared to leave my son with him.

    Comment


    • #3
      Can you document your abuse (pictures, hospital records, and such)? Check with a lawyer or immigrant aid or woman's shelter, whether you can or can't document it. You'll probably have to file a complaint with the police in order for a claim of abuse to be taken seriously and used as a basis for getting legal status. Also, I doubt a child would be allowed to stay with an abusive parent.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you Aliba. I didn't even think of pics etc. I want to file a complaint with the police, but he says that I am illegal, so there is nothing I can do. I want to leave, but he says I can go, just leave his kid, the reason I do stay is because I will not ever leave my child. Its just getting to be toohard right now, and after reading a lot of posts on this board, I knew that there has to be something I can do.

        Comment


        • #5
          Bist du auch auf Drogen? Warum hast du vier Jahre gewartet? Du musst einen Rechtsanwalt anrufen. Erhaltest du zugelassenen Schutz des Kindes und denn, weg nach hause.

          Comment


          • #6
            Yes, she did wait 4 years. But lots of women get intimidated, and she is here illegally. If she wants to discuss her options, her best bet is to locate a shelter for battered women and talk with one of their counsellors about getting herself and her child out of there. There are probably some aid groups for immigrants who may also be able to help her.

            Comment


            • #7
              Komm nach Immigrate2us.net. Es gibt da viele sympatische Menschen, die dir helfen . Heir kann man auch Hilfe kreigen, aber es gibt heir auch viele sehr gemeine Leute.

              If you want to stay in the US, you can file as a victim of abuse. You will have to have extensive documentation of that abuse. If you want to go back to Germany, you will have to get soul custody of your son. You will probably have to prove that your boyfriend is abusive to do that, too. Seek help at a women's center. They may be able to help you with a place to stay and a lawyer. The most important thing is to get out of the abusive situation as soon as possible and take your son with you. Your boyfriend is blackmailing you with your immigration status, which in and of itself is "emotional" abuse.
              Have a nice day

              Comment


              • #8
                Thank you all. I have been to a shelter twice, and both times he has come there and told me that he would report the shelter as I am an illegal. I had to leave. I have nowhere else to go, so I am quite stranded. I do have friends out of state though, and was thinking of just taking my son and leaving, but very scared of what could happen.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Document the abuse, then get the h e c k out, legal problems of any type are not worth your life.

                  Once you are with your friends you can call immigration, call the police, file a restraining order, file for divorce, etc. If you can afford one, get an immigration lawyer to help you.

                  Above and beyond all else, get your child a passport, and a German one if at all possible (which I am sure is possible, as you are a german citizen, and therefore your child should be too.) If you are caught and deported durnig this process, there is a very good chance they might give you voluntary departure, and then you could just take your child away from your husband (don't do this without adequate proof of abuse - if avoidable - as it could be considered kidnapping, but that passport would be something that would at least let you know that if things get bad enough, scary enough, etc. Then you can just leave - WITH your child!)

                  Also, contact the German embassy - it sounds like you are more concerned about getting both yourself and your child away from this man, and not so much about immigrating to the USA. Thus, I imagine that there is a good chance that the embassy might be able to offer you some sort of advice or help....

                  it definitely can't hurt you to call, and with any luck will leave a paper trail that you can file if at all necessary.

                  But abuse can become life threatening, GET OUT!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Spouse, thank you for your help. I am not married to him, came out on a K1 fiancee visa, got pregnant, and then the abuse started. Meanwhile, my K1 expired and he would not do anything, now I have the threats and abuse, and on top of that I am illegal. I just feel so hopeless and feel that, were in not for my son, my life would not be worth much. I feel better now since I got some positive replies today.
                    I would like to stay in the US but being illegal, I realise that it will be hard. Do you think that there is a chance that I would be able to stay in the US and get legal, not by marrying a USC, I want to only marry if it is a tru marriage.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Jenmar, assuming you are genuine and do not have a drug problem yourself, there is a chance you can be in the US 'legally", but you may need to process your immigrant visa in Germany.You need a good immigration attorney who does VAWA cases on a daily basis.

                      The subject is really too big to go into any detail, but I can list the following useful bits of paper:

                      1. Police Report
                      2. Abusers Criminal Record
                      3. Restraining Order
                      4. Photos of injuries
                      5. Medical Report
                      6. Domestic Violence Counseling Letter
                      7. Letter from Shelter
                      8. Declaration of Witnesses
                      9. Abused persons declaration
                      10. Any correspondence from the abuser.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Won't work. Those are for WIVES. you NEVER married. "Fiancee" carries no legal weight. It's on the same level as having an abusive bf and wanting a gc cuz of it.

                        The INS will basically say the same thing they tell mexicans -- stop poppin' out babies when you're not married. You can't use "kids" to grab a gc out of it.

                        Your best bet is do waht others in your situation do. Go find another husband.

                        -= nav =-

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          There is atleast one case where where VAWA suspension was granted to a woman who was never married to her abuser but whose child with the abuser suffered from witnessing the abuse.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Moondin, if you read my post, I said that I did not want to marry just for a gc, but thanks for your "Kind" words anyway. Also thanks to everyone who gave me such sound advice, I appreciate it.

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