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Humor for the GIRLS, guys keep OUT!

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  • Humor for the GIRLS, guys keep OUT!

    MEN ARE LIKE....


    Men are like.....Floor tile.
    Lay them right the first time and you can walk on them for a lifetime.

    Men are like.....Placemats.
    They only show up when there's food on the table.

    Men are like.....Mascara.
    They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

    Men are like.....Bike helmets.
    Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

    Men are like.....Government bonds.
    They take so long to mature.

    Men are like.....Parking spots.
    The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.

    Men are like.....Copiers.
    You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

    Men are like.....Lava lamps.
    Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

    Men are like.....Bank accounts.
    Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

    Men are like.....High heels.
    They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

    Men are like.....Curling irons.
    They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

    Men are like.....Mini skirts.
    If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

    Men are like.....Bananas.
    The older they get, the less firm they are.
    Sweet Madame Belu

  • #2
    MEN ARE LIKE....


    Men are like.....Floor tile.
    Lay them right the first time and you can walk on them for a lifetime.

    Men are like.....Placemats.
    They only show up when there's food on the table.

    Men are like.....Mascara.
    They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

    Men are like.....Bike helmets.
    Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

    Men are like.....Government bonds.
    They take so long to mature.

    Men are like.....Parking spots.
    The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.

    Men are like.....Copiers.
    You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

    Men are like.....Lava lamps.
    Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

    Men are like.....Bank accounts.
    Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

    Men are like.....High heels.
    They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

    Men are like.....Curling irons.
    They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

    Men are like.....Mini skirts.
    If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

    Men are like.....Bananas.
    The older they get, the less firm they are.
    Sweet Madame Belu

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey Jello:

      Even though these humors are for Girls as you said, I am sorry for jump-in here then. It's so funny though-ROFOL.I would apply the below one in my case-

      "Men are like.....Curling irons.
      They're always hot, and they're always in your hair".

      Comment


      • #4
        But if they are Indian boys, they are always in our HAIRS!

        If I am Jello, I am fat and jiggly!
        Sweet Madame Belu

        Comment


        • #5
          My perception to compare you with Jello is based upon your s-e-x-y b-u-t-t, which I find somehow cute similar to Jello . Hey, I love to be in "those" HAIRS, but I haven't got the chance though for a long-long time .

          Comment


          • #6
            I especially like the one about government bonds...

            Comment


            • #7
              Jo I couldn't help; had to throw these in too just to keep the fun going

              Women Are Like

              ...the stock market
              They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

              ...computers
              They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

              ...Saran Wrap
              Useful but clingy.

              ...horses
              Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

              ...parking meters
              If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

              ...fax machines
              Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

              ...political campaign contributors
              If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

              ...refrigerators
              They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

              ...blue jeans
              They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

              ...country western songs
              They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

              Comment


              • #8
                JS,

                Why did you say that this is for girls only ? we men, do have a sense of humour, whether you believe it or not. And by the way, the last one "men are like bananas, older they get, less firmer they are ", C'mon, that applies to both men and women.


                PS: "HAIRS" are you hinting something here ? its alright, I can take a joke.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I said guys keep out cause I KNEW the guys would be right in here being nosy!

                  This is a place to post our jokes. I got doctor jokes for Pasha and lawyer jokes for everyone else.

                  SAMMY: When you ever see my b.u.t.t? I had it covered. You never told the board what I look like, though I will tell them you described me as a "business woman." It is so good to see you, I have been real busy getting organized, job hunting, working. I miss you too much!

                  I was able to get Mian talking to his family in Pakistan on Yahoo Voice. It was a big event, they sang Koran to him. He liked most is that it's free, but it's cool cause you can hear everyone in the background.

                  AK: HAIRS is a joke to the Indian boys, cause they say hairs instead of hair.

                  Ghost: I am "Saran Wrap" woman.
                  Sweet Madame Belu

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Jo, how are you doing?

                    I have to say that when I read Sammy's post this morning, I too was a little alarmed, by a number of comments he made, but also with his reference to jello b-u-t-t.

                    Wow..if a guy (or a gal, for that matter) who claims to like and know women wel, ever told me that - I would be insulted and offended.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I thought he was flirting with me!

                      I think he knew when J-Lo posted, it was really me!

                      Guess I'll have to call him SPAMMY.
                      Sweet Madame Belu

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Dear Swiss:

                        I don't think that I offended Jo if I've compared her physical demeanor with someone else. As far as telling her looking like a businesswoman is concerned, then I think Jo can clarify what it means when I said to her. Because when I met her, she is looked like an executive and professional woman, who is very classy. I told her that she is very elegant and bubbly. That's why I wondered why their immigration interview got thru so easily within few minutes, because she is looked like very professional in her demeanor. That's why I described her a ˜professional woman', and I think you got all wrong about me saying to her ˜professional woman'. There is no need to be alarmed .



                        Jello:

                        Even though you had all covered, I figured it out anyhow based upon lots of other things, which includes your hubby's statements about you that how nice and good you are. Did I offend or insult you in saying anything?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Jo,
                          How did you do the yahoo thing for free????????

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Not at all, except I know you are going to the West Coast to meet the real Jello!

                            BEWARE! She likes her men with no hairs, so Bennifer had to get his b.u.t.t waxed! Ahaha!

                            I think that's why they broke up. She tried to change him. You see how the first thing he did when they broke up was grow a goatee and dress like a slob? She had him all G.Q.'d up!

                            This Jello likes her men furry. I made Mian grow a mustache soon after we were married.

                            Sorry, I thought you said business woman. Professional woman could be considered a p.r.o.s.t.i.t.u.t.e. Got lots of those outside my window on the weekend. Even the blizzard could not keep them in! Since I have no t.v., I watch them. One has a p.i.m.p, but the ones that don't, I try to keep an eye on for their safety. My heart goes out to them, but I don't talk to them. Being a New Yorker, I look the other way.
                            Sweet Madame Belu

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Mian is "Ferret Man."

                              You know how ferrets leaves cute little deposits in every corner of the house? Mian leaves his dirty socks EVERYWHERE, just like a ferret.

                              Banana Man too! :X Hooray for ME!
                              Sweet Madame Belu

                              Comment

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