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  • #31
    Arqu, we are not saying that Susan should not move on if her marriage to this person1 is not woking or if he is abusing her, but we are saying that when she loved him enough to marry him then at least give the try to work out the marriage first rather than to replace someone while the first one is still in the picture. Isn't you described you situation where you said that in your situation you MOVED on to others after finishing first one. Why didn't Susan finish the relationship with first one before even she hooked up the second one, if she was abused or not happy with first one in some way, that is the only point we are questioning. Why she has not finish the relationship with first one at first place before even move on to others or second one. And, by the way, how you are judging susan' situation of failed marriage or any kind of abuse situation, when her post don't say anything about any abuse, so you can not come here to preach us about abuse or bashing about her husband that what he has done to her, because you also don't know anything about her situation as much we all. And, even though if there is any abuse going on from her first1 then she should have finished the relationship entirely with firsti before moving to second1. We all give our opinion based on the information susan provided on this thread, and we all agree strongly that marriage is not a game for sex or any other self reason purpose, instead it is a committment based on love, respect, trust and couple should invest time to work out hard on their marriage before jump to others bone, otherwise it would sounds that the person never married for love at fist place, instead their marriage is a 'business contract' for the conviences of either of them. You can stay on yr opinions, and we will ours, and it has proved also your comprehension of someone's situation that how wrong you can be when you are the one bringing the thoughts of susan's failed marriage.

    Comment


    • #32
      I never said that she was abused or anything like that - I said that you guys have no idea about what she is dealing with and quite frankly your comments earlier were ignorant and hurtful. Sounds like you guys are trying to impose YOUR morals onto others...

      Enough said - we disagree on this one..

      ARQU

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      • #33
        Polaris,

        For your information I didn't think it was appropriate to fill a post with all that is wrong in my relationship. Nor did I think my character would come into question when I was looking for immigration advice. You ARE wrong on many of your assumptions. You obviously have been blessed with a good relationship, good for you. Since I was actually looking for advice pertaining to what route to take with the BCIS-if you were knowledgable in regards to my question and could offer that, I would have been appreciative. However, ARQU has given me the answers that I was looking for and consider this subject closed.

        Susan

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        • #34
          I,m reading this thread and just want to write what I think about all love thing.
          In my experience, Once two people( male and female ) Meet each other and have vibes they feel love strong and concentration is undivided, attention to each other is mre because they both are courious about each other, but as the time passby and their attention is divided Love divided too, Lets say over the time they will have childern and other things and other things needs attention too , that time one start feeling less loved and start thinging on his/her point of views and start looking someone else.
          But is that really happend..NO, it does not mean that they are left alone or less loved, its all depends upon as we grow older more and more responsiblities more diverted attention. one should understand the concept and think twice before taking any action.
          All I'm saying is lets put himself or herself to other half's shoes and think what is wrong and right.

          Comment


          • #35
            Arqu, it is true that you did not say anything like taht she was abused by her husband or not, but you supported Susan based on the presumption of that we have on idea how bad might the relationship is between Susan and her husband. Second, we are not here to care about how the TRUTH will hurt to someone, or how the truth seems ignorant, while we are here to give the fact, truth based on our own judegment, and isn't it susan came on this board for our judgment/opinion at first place? Obviously, she did not come on this board to hear what she want to hear from us. We are all entitled to our opinions whether it seems to someone ignorant or hurtful, and hell yeah, we will impose our moral and value on others as long as those are good in the life since we are entitled to our opinion whether someone like or not our morals.

            Based on Susan's situation and your continous disagreement with us, it seems that according to yr morals, it is okay for someone to indulge in two relationship at the same time, rather than first get over with first and then move on to second, because you are supporting susan's this act of being in relationship with someone when she is still married to first one. How come Susan is so sure that second one won't be like first one especially when it took her two and half years to realize that first one is not right, that means then thirds one, then fourth one, then fifth one, when this cycle would stop, and you will keep supporting Susan by saying " oh, you guys don't know how mess susan is in or going through, you have no right to pass your judgment or your moral on others, your comments are ignorant and hateful...etc". The truth is she came here for opinion and she got the different voices and if she don't want to hear those voices then just ignore it.

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            • #36
              I think everyone agrees that Susan is a ****.

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              • #37
                I'd have to say my only problem is the "dual relationship". Male or female, I think having two relationships at once is WRONG.

                IF, it would have been, "I'm divoriced, and now I've met someone new, who happens to be from the same country..", I wouldn't have been so hostile. It boils down to the fact that she's STILL MARRIED, yet planning on marrying SOMEONE ELSE. That's just sick, in my book.

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                • #38
                  no,u can divorce and remarry as many as u wants but in the ins aos interview for the second husband u would have hard time but if u really would be married to him u dont have to worry...

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Hi Guys, this is me again, lol!! I do respect all your opinions guys and i guess ARQU do also agree with us but, her problem is that while she was supporting Susan's case she didn't really supported her but she was trying in her deep mind to support herself because she had a bad mariage and she suffered because of that, so dear ARQU OPEN YOUR EYES, this is not your case that we are talking about, this is Susan's case, and i di totally agree with Polaris, x, and interepter, their opinions are logic and true, by the way who said her husband wants to go home? susan hersel!!! you cannot be the victim and the judge babe, everybody agree that she is selfish, she s..t. SHE IS MARRIED to that unlucky guy, and she is already involved with another guy and already planing to marry, what kind of people is she???? you know what guys i really feel that her husband is a good guy but he was unlucky to be involved with someone like susan that doesn't really care about it anything but herself. have a nice day guys.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      x: People don't come her for your judgment. There come here for discussion about the immigration process.

                      Polaris_x: You are most certainley entitiled to your opinion.

                      Muslim: My eyes are open. Never judge a man unless you have walked a mile in their shoes...

                      I think that we can all agree to disagree on this one and to honor Susan's request. I'll consider this closed.

                      ARQU

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        ARQU: I respect your opinion, and I may have jumped the gun a bit. BUT, I still don't think someone should be dating a 3rd person, while their still married. I think it's wrong. But, that "is" simply my opinion.

                        Susan: Best of luck. I hope it does work out for you. Let's hope this Man2 is the right one.

                        Peace. Wait, what am I saying? I'm a warmonger. Never mind...LOL

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                        • #42
                          well what am i add to this guys, well anyway even if i disagree about some points, i do agree about the other points, whatever... good luck guys

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Aqua, discussing the matter on this board is considered as an opinion and judgment from that person who is discussing this immigration matter. Second, people just don't come on this board to discuss their immigration problem only, instead they ask for help,opinion and judgment in order to know more about their problem. Third, how do you differentiate my voices to your when in fact,we both are expressing our own respective views, opinions, and judgments being discussed the immigration matter on Susan' case. Fouth, yes, it is true that Susan did not ask personally for my judgment, but then also she did not ask your either, than why did you jump on this board to "discuss" her immigration situation. Fifth, when someone post a thread on this board, then it becomes everyone's bussiness whether they have been asked or not for their views, because this board is not meant for personal use only, and if somebody want to get personal advise from a particular person then the person needs to contact that particular person directly rather than over here on this board. Thanks anyway for giving my voice a name of "judgment" and your's as a "discussing immigration matter". I know it very well that i will be given some new "credetials" from you again as usual since you already labeled me 'hater', 'not polite','not tactful', 'having attitude', 'have no sympathy to Susan', 'nobody asked me for my "judgment", and etc....etc. just because i voiced out my OWN view as what it seems right to me in Susan situation, as well what i feel right for America on Immigration policies. Thanks for your "GOOD" comprehension on understanding of my views.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              well about the affidave of support...its clearly written in that you get rid of every bonds in 2 ways ...
                              1- if your spouce becomes US Citizen
                              2- He gets 40 hrs job..
                              so i dont think it should be like that you have to wait until spouse becomes citizen

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                "When you sign the Affidavit of Support, you accept legal responsibility for financially supporting the sponsored immigrant(s) until they become U.S. citizens or can be credited with 40 quarters of work."

                                http://www.immigration.gov/graphics/...pp.htm#whatare

                                40 quarters of work averages out to 10 years, I believe.

                                This is an old thread, but I just read the whole thing and am totally disgusted.

                                In defense of Susan, from my observations here, I see a lot of marriages fall apart within the first year.

                                When I married my first husband, as soon as the ceremony was over, his true self came out. He turned into a totally different person within a half an hour. I stuck it out for 11 months.

                                As far as her "looking", sometimes love comes out of nowhere and hits you like a Mac truck, when you least expect it and are not looking.

                                It is a personal belief of mine that true love comes when you are NOT looking.

                                Comment

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