Love without marriage?

I met an American girl three and a half years ago in England, we hit it off and have stayed in contact ever since. I have visited her twice recently and we are very much in love. Neither of us particularly believe in marriage, but know we want to be together.. I am looking into the H-1B VISA route to work in America, as I have a degree and would like to spend more time with her before we come to any more serious decisions about our future.. The alternative to this at the moment is to live with her for 90 days on the VISA waiver program. Obviously this does not allow me to work, but I am capable of supporting myself for this time and could be looking for a job.. Is this the best way to go about things?

How successful are the H-1B applications generally?

I met an American girl three and a half years ago in England, we hit it off and have stayed in contact ever since. I have visited her twice recently and we are very much in love. Neither of us particularly believe in marriage, but know we want to be together.. I am looking into the H-1B VISA route to work in America, as I have a degree and would like to spend more time with her before we come to any more serious decisions about our future.. The alternative to this at the moment is to live with her for 90 days on the VISA waiver program. Obviously this does not allow me to work, but I am capable of supporting myself for this time and could be looking for a job.. Is this the best way to go about things?

How successful are the H-1B applications generally?

If the job offer is in a speciality occupation and requires at least a bachelor's degree, then they are quite successful. Have you also considered a fiance visa?

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The job offer would be in a speciality occupation, and I believe I would be employable. It just seems that other than getting married, an H1-B is the only option for staying in the USA longer than the visa waiver, and my personal finances will permit.

I understand that the fiance visa states that you must get married within three months of arriving. This puts quite a lot of pressure on a relationship that is serious, but is still relatively young.

Being apart is pretty unbearable, are there any other options?

If you currently work for a company that has an office in the USA, you could ask for a transfer, this would be done on an L visa.

Or you could apply for a J visa, which is a work experience visa, for which the UK does not have a two year home rule, but like the H1B you need to find a sponsor.

Or if you are loaded and can invest $1million ....errrr......forget that one.

hi there i came over to the usa on vwp & i found the only way i could stay with my man was to marry him it is a long process but to be with the one u love it is worth it. u can marry on that with in the 90 days otherwise u have to leave the states again. i feel it is to hard to be apart from the one u love. i hope u find the answers u need & hope all works out for u good luck to u.

Nighthawk7....you failed to point out that there are some pitfalls in getting married on the VWP like; if you get married before 60 days it can trigger an investigation into your immigration intent and subsequently leave you perminently barred for visa/marriage fraud. If you leave after getting married but b4 the 90 days it will probably take you 3/4 years to get back in. If you overstay you could be looking at a 3/10 year bar should you leave the country b4 you get your GC effectively imprisioning yourself within the USA for 2 years.

Thank you everyone for your advice, this really isn't easy is it?! I'm going to stay with her for 90 days on the VWP and hopefully find a suitable H1B sponsor in this time. How long (if at all) do you have to wait before returning to the country on a VWP if I stay for 90 days this time? I understand that immigration may start getting suspicious if I keep entering the country. I absolutely want to do this to the letter of the law, but I have been advised not to mention I am visiting my girlfriend when entering the country! This just seems so ridiculous...

You have received good advice.....do not mention your girlfriend on entering..it will be a red flag and you may be denied entry. Also you might consider not leaving it the full 90 days....maybe 60-70 days. Then if you stay that long, you might only get 2 entries per year. Perhaps you might want to consider getting a B visa which will give you upto 6 months stay. I have never done that one, but I think you have to explain at the US Embassy why you want one and prove that you are going to return to your home country....mortgage deeds, bank accounts, job, family ties etc..etc... Goodluck on the H1B they are not easy to come by and they take a few months to sort out, but the way I see it, you have very few choices if marriage isn't for you.

Thank you again, I appreciate your time. I am however now slightly more concerned and worried... I feel like I'm doing something wrong, and hate that I can't just be honest about why I'm coming to America. It's not that marriage is "not for us", but it certainly isn't at this stage. I have my degree, and enough freedom and money at this point in my life to make all this possible, but it seems I'm going to have to lie at immigration and say that I'm going travelling or something, so they won't get suspicious about the length of my stay. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardise future entry into the US, I love this girl too much, so I guess staying for 60 or 70 days on the VWP is my best option now. I only ask about re-entry because her birthday is December 25th, and I really want to be there. This would mean re-entry on another VWP after only two months.

Hey LonleyintheUK,

I know exactly where you are at, I have been where you are....And have come out the other side....

I would advise you to be very careful on the VWP, like other people have said here, you must make sure you don't show that you have any intent to stay above and beyond, i.e. mentioning that you have a girlfriend here.....Also be careful about visiting again on the VWP shortly after you have just left....I am from the UK and met my partner while visiting the US, I came over on the VWP, we decided we wanted to make a go of it, so I would visit for 90 days, leave then re-enter a few months later, ( we are in a same sex relationship so right now marriage is not a possibility) this worked a few times, until my frequent visits were picked up on, was denied entry but managed to file an appeal and to cut a long story short was issued a B1/B2 so I was able to visit for a 6 months block....Beware of these to, as you must make sure that you don't go over the annual limit of 6 months or you will be denied entry, as these visa's are also based on the fact that you have no intent to immigrate to the US. To get these you have to apply for one at the US embassy in London, the process is fairly easy, just make sure you provide lots of evidence to show ties to the UK, for example bank statements, rental or mortgage agreements, I even got a letter from my parents stating that I lived at home and they supported me etc.....As long as you provide lots of evidence you should be issued one....

I am now on a H1B I feel very lucky to have found a sponser, that is the hardest part of the process, once you have found one, then the paperwork is not too bad, just making sure that the job is specific and you have a degree in a specialized subjects.

Anyways hope this helps, good luck, and don't worry lots of people have been where you are and have come out the other side....I guess you are lucky that there are immigration laws that recognise you relationship with you're partner, that makes things much easier for you than I..

Again good Luck!

Thanks BeenThere, what you've said is very helpful. I think I'll come in this time on VWP and try and find a sponsor. If this doesn't work out, I will apply for a B visa and come over for six months.

It's ridiculous the trouble you have to go through to be with the person you love, and I'm sorry that in your situation it is even more difficult for you. Why should I be allowed to marry and gain citizenship, and you not. Absurd.

All the best, and thanks again.

Hi lonleyintheuk,

Thank you for you're kind words, it is a difficult situation, one that would not arise should we want to live in the UK or many other countries for that matter...But of course we are both happy here in the US....

Good luck with everything....