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Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Feeling a Little Overwhelmed

  1. #1
    Hello. My name is Fran, and I am a new member. I have already posted once without introducing myself. Sorry about that. My question is are there any USC out there, married to an illegal, who feels very frustrated and overwhelmed with the whole immigration process? I admit that I do. I've never done anything like this before, and I sometimes feel very scared and anxious about the whole deal.

    My husband is from Peru(undocumented), and we have been married for almost 3 years after dating each other for 4 years. I love him very much, but sometimes wonder is it worth it?

    I was just looking for a little support. I know this isn't a psychiatric board, but just wanted to know if there is anyone out there who feels the same way I do.

  2. #2
    Hello. My name is Fran, and I am a new member. I have already posted once without introducing myself. Sorry about that. My question is are there any USC out there, married to an illegal, who feels very frustrated and overwhelmed with the whole immigration process? I admit that I do. I've never done anything like this before, and I sometimes feel very scared and anxious about the whole deal.

    My husband is from Peru(undocumented), and we have been married for almost 3 years after dating each other for 4 years. I love him very much, but sometimes wonder is it worth it?

    I was just looking for a little support. I know this isn't a psychiatric board, but just wanted to know if there is anyone out there who feels the same way I do.

  3. #3
    And you say is it really worth it? I don't think you love him that much if you ask that question to yourself.
    I am glad I am not him.

    Copper

  4. #4
    Copper -

    I think that is unfair. I love my husband more than life itself, but sometimes I'm totally overwhelmed. What I question is whether it is really worth all we are going thru to stay in the US. If my husbands country were a viable option....I think we would leave. Unfortunately, it isn't an option and we need to continue to try to adjust his status here.

    Fran, I've been contemplating setting up a Yahoo group for the husband and wives of immigrant for support regarding the emotional issues, not the legal and administrative stuff. Obviously, this is not the forum for all of the emotional stuff, but sometime I think it would be nice to be able to talk to other about all of the personal stuff and problems that result from dealing with all of the immigration issues. I'll let you know if I set it up.

    WB

  5. #5
    Hi fran,
    i know how you must feel. I am not illegal, but i'm now adjusting to status. I just want to give you some advice;there are usc's that would marry you, but it's not very easy.Some will want money and other's may give you pure hell knowing that you need your papers. Just be sure that you know what you're doing, if you're going to marry for your papers. The I.N.S is very tough on legalisation through marriage. Any bad move and you could kiss your chances goodbye. Get a good lawyer and let him /her guide you. I will pray for you. I wish you the best of luck.

  6. #6
    WB,

    I am sort of confused by your comment. What is unfair? Or how was i being unfair? You said yourself that you love your significant other more than life and you are going to do what it takes.
    If you really love someone more than life then you will do what it takes to be with that person. Yes sometimes you will get overwhelmed by it is the love that holds you together and gives you courage.
    Fran wanted advise from other whether to stay or leave her husband. I don't think she loves him enough and that was my point. People get divorced every day because their love fades away. I always believe things can be worked out if both sides are willing to compromise and when there is love then its is easy to compromise.
    I am not trying to be a specialist on this subject; I just have some experience that's all.
    Hope this clarifies things

    Copper

  7. #7
    Copper -

    I guess I interpreted Fran's message in a little different context. I didn't perceive that she wanted advice as to whether to stay or leave her husband; I think that she was just looking for validation that others feel the way she does.

    I will see our personal situation through to the bitter end. But when I am most down and feeling the most hopeless, I sometimes wonder if it is all worth it. And I feel guilty when I think that way. Dealing with immigration issues is very, very stressful on a relationship. In our case, I think it has made us closer and that is probably the only good thing that will come of all the pain and agony we are going through.

    So Copper, I rescind my comment that you weren't being fair. And Fran, only you can determine if it's worth it. It is very hard and I understand how you feel. You aren't alone. Feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, scared and anxious is part of the package deal. Hang in there.

    WB

  8. #8
    Copper -

    I guess I interpreted Fran's message in a little different context. I didn't perceive that she wanted advice as to whether to stay or leave her husband; I think that she was just looking for validation that others feel the way she does.

    I will see our personal situation through to the bitter end. But when I am most down and feeling the most hopeless, I sometimes wonder if it is all worth it. And I feel guilty when I think that way. Dealing with immigration issues is very, very stressful on a relationship. In our case, I think it has made us closer and that is probably the only good thing that will come of all the pain and agony we are going through.

    So Copper, I rescind my comment that you weren't being fair. And Fran, only you can determine if it's worth it. It is very hard and I understand how you feel. You aren't alone. Feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, scared and anxious is part of the package deal. Hang in there.

    WB

  9. #9
    WB,

    I am glad we are on the same page, I agee with you and you seem to me a good person.

    copper

  10. #10
    Hi Fran

    You said you were married for 3 years right ? Why didn't he apply for adjustment then under 245 ???
    Do not worry there will be a solution somewhere...and do not be that frustrated..it's true that INS isn't easy to live with specially when one doesn't respect the law...
    good luck and be strong

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