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Thread: my story

  1. #1

    First a little about me: Im 40 now, Worked since I was 16 In the Hvac industry. 6 days A Week 12 Hours A day, Until 1998 When I decided Start My own Business. Preparing For 2 Years. In 2000 I Got my business license. hurray!!! I Have Small family, a Twin Sister. rest in peace the rest. 2001 $30,000
    2002 $65000 2002. Bought My Own Home, 2 bedroom Condo In 1992. First Home dream! But My real dream Was Single Family Home With garage From Which To Convert To shop And Office, To operate My Small Business. 2002 my neihbors daughter was visiting here from philippines. talked, became friends, fell in love, bla bla. very good personality. attractive, seemed to have very good morals and values. etc, etc, thought what a great catch. got married! we got pregnant, lived my condo for about 7 months. then while searching on the internet one day i saw this house, seemed under priced. looked perfect for expanding my business. just foolin around dreaming. i drove by the house. real estate agent there, so i asked to look around, i figured because the asking price 100k below market must be something wrong with it? i walked through, nothing wrong with the house. nothing major i couldnt fix! owner wanted 410,000. i asked the realtor i wonder if he take 400,000???
    sure enough owner said ok. so i talked my wife etc. and since baby on the way i thought the extra room and yard be nice. also perfect for my business! we talked my wifes mom, told her about it and asked if she be willing to rent the nice finished basement for what she had been paying rent for where she was? she said ok. went to bank etc.etc. my credit score fair, my wifes good, her moms excellent! long story short, loan officer said could save 300 plus a month if her moms name on mortgage with my wife as co sign. i said to my wifes mother only if she agreed that my name go on the deed and she agree she have no interest in the property! she said of coarse i do it for you and my daughter, my present to both you! i said are you absolutely sure??? because i will sell my home to do this! for the down payment and rest my equity to fix and upgrade the house to goody goody! also knowing some cultures ways i made them promise me before i sell my home to buy that one, that they agree . only the 4 of us would live there! No Extended Family, Friends, Etc. Just The 4 Of Us! I Mentioned How Important This was To Me And The deal Many Times! They Swore And agreed Every Time! "I Knew I Could Not Live In A House Overcrowded!!! They Agreed And assured Me Just The 4 Of Us we Promise!!! Me, My Wife, Her Mom, Our Unborn Son! 3 Bedroom House. I Added 4th Bedroom for my Son. We Bought The house I Put 40,000 Down. Them none! The Other 40,000 I Put Into The House as Home Improvements! Make A safe, Comfy, Reliable, Home For All Of us! The House was Built 1954. Needed Some Improvements.
    I asked My wifes mother if she wanted The Upstairs? Or The Downstairs? Both Full Kitchen, Baths. 2 Bedrooms. She Said The Downstairs. So..... We Bought The House! Less Than 1 Year later My Wife And Her Mother Said Her Brother Was Coming To Visit. "Note: Aunt Already Been Staying In The House, Supposedly Just Visiting!"
    I Said To My Wife Of Coarse Your Brother Can Visit! He Came, They Picked Him Up New Jersey Harbor/Port. "He Worked On A Cargo Ship That Traveled The World" They Told Me He Had seaman's Leave For Couple weeks. He Came! One Week, Two Weeks, Three Weeks, Etc. Gone by! I said When Does Your Brother Have To Go back??? "Weird Feeling" I couldn't Imagine A Ship Staying In Port More Than A few weeks! They said He Extended! He Will Get The returning Ship! Approx, One Year Later He Still In The House! Along With The Aunt! She Never Left Either! Then Friends Of The Brother Also Living In Our Home 3-4 Days Out Of The week! Drinking Etc. I Had To Step Over The Brother/Friends In The Morning Before My Work. "Past Out From Drinking"! My Wife Also Drinker! 12 Heinekins In Less Than An Hour!!! 5 Feet Tall 105 Pounds She Is! And Extremely Out Of Control When She drinks! The Office I created In The Garage For My Business, Is where I Wound Up Living For Over A Year!!! Karaoke Until 4 Am! 3-4 Nights A Week. Drinking every Night! I Asked My Wifes Mother Why They Lied To Me? "Was My Life/My Dream They Were stealing! The Mother Responded, Because Its The Filipino Way!!!
    Then I Overheard Conversation With Uncle, A captain Of A cargo Ship. He Was Angry That They Would Jeopardize Many To Allow Their Son/Brother To jump Ship!!!! At This Point I Am Confused/Dev estated/ Hurt/And Very Worried!!! I Told Them I Cannot Allow Or Be a Part Of This Family Cheating, Lying, And Breaking The Rules here!!! Throughout The Year I Kept saying To My Wife And Her Mother. We need To Put My Name On The DEED To The House as Agreed! They Said "Ohhh We Will, We Will, Dont Worry" I Thought Maybe They Didnt Know how? So I went To My settlement attorney/Friend And He Gave Me The Form To Put My Name On The deed. Took It Home And Explained we needed To Make Appointment To see Notary's/Witnesses Etc. and Sign To Put My Name On The deed as agreed! They Declined!!! At This Point I Knew I Had Been scammed!decieved! lyed To! These Are Bad People!!! Coming Home One Night Me Trying To Connect With My Wife/Explain Situation Etc. She Got drunk, We Where Driving Home On highway, She Started Yelling, Swinging Her Arms And Trying To Make Me Wreck The car! I Without Thinking, Self Defense Moved My Arm Outward To Move Her Arms So I Could see The Road. She Dropped Her Arm I Guess? My Hand Hit Her Between The eyes! she Got Quiet! we get home my nerves are very bad! i drink 2 beers, me very upset and confused as to what has happened? next thing i know, 2 police officers are arresting me for spousal abuse! 2 days in jail! "I Lost" HOW????? Why???? I Know why, Because I Am Man And She Is Woman!!!! Simple! 1 Week In Jail Total, 1 Year Probation! 1 year Of anger Management Where You Cannot Get Out Or Graduate Without Admitting You Hit Your Wife Etc!!! In A Letter! My Morals All My life!: don't Lye, Don't Cheat, Don't Steal!!! The Only Way Out Of The class Is To LYE!!!!! And say You Hit Your Wife And How Sorry You are!!! Not The Truth, But No choice If You want out!!! Long Story Short, Now I Rent 2 Rooms From A friend, 1 For Me And 1 For My son!!! The Room He Had In The House I Put Everything I Had In This World Into, they Gave To Someone From Their family! My Son No room Of His Own There! Me Struggling To Survive! Not Mentioned Before But My Wife Threw 3000 dollar business Laptop On concrete Floor destroying My businesss Customer Base/Was Doing a Backup When She Did It! Perfect Timing! ALL GONE!!!! Then She Closede All My accounts, I was Forced To Leave The house, My House! Went To court I asked For 3 Months to Have Time To Make Some Kind Of Transition Since I Was Dug In That House With My Business! Court Agreed! However My Wife And Her Family Blocked My Access, Changed All The Locks, Kept Me From Working For three Months! Police Not Want Get Involved Domestic Issues! especially Not immigration Issues! I Called ICE, Their hotline, Stayed On Hold For 15 Minutes, Then finally Someone, They Said After Hearing My story, Sorry Mr. will We Cant Help! But You Really Should call CIS! So I called CIS, Same Thing, on Hold For approx 10 Minutes. Then Someone, Told my Story, They said All I can Do Is withdraw My sponsorship! And That I really needed To call ICE! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I wrote Letter Withdrawing My Sponsorship With Summary. After Approx. 35000 dollars, I Got Shared Custody Of my son! But I Am Using Coins To survive. 2 Months Late On Every Bill For Almost 2 Years! Is miracle I Made It This far!!! Older filipinas That have been Here For 20 Plus years Have Approached Me telling Me How Bad These People Are! How Dishonest! They Are The Good Filipinos! Good People That Understand Right From wrong! However If In A court Situation, Filipinos Will Never testify For The filipino community Has Its Own Rules! And Could Make Life Very Hard For The good Ones! Im Just Surviving! Trying My Best To see That My Only son Stays Happy! I Dont Know How I Will Pay For Gas, Food, Etc. My Life = Atomic Bomb! Dreams Destroyed By Others From Another Country! Greed, Deceit, Manipulation, sociopath, And My Own Country Wouldnt Help!!!!!!!
    I Would Love To Hear What Others Think?????
    Thanks.

  2. #2

    First a little about me: Im 40 now, Worked since I was 16 In the Hvac industry. 6 days A Week 12 Hours A day, Until 1998 When I decided Start My own Business. Preparing For 2 Years. In 2000 I Got my business license. hurray!!! I Have Small family, a Twin Sister. rest in peace the rest. 2001 $30,000
    2002 $65000 2002. Bought My Own Home, 2 bedroom Condo In 1992. First Home dream! But My real dream Was Single Family Home With garage From Which To Convert To shop And Office, To operate My Small Business. 2002 my neihbors daughter was visiting here from philippines. talked, became friends, fell in love, bla bla. very good personality. attractive, seemed to have very good morals and values. etc, etc, thought what a great catch. got married! we got pregnant, lived my condo for about 7 months. then while searching on the internet one day i saw this house, seemed under priced. looked perfect for expanding my business. just foolin around dreaming. i drove by the house. real estate agent there, so i asked to look around, i figured because the asking price 100k below market must be something wrong with it? i walked through, nothing wrong with the house. nothing major i couldnt fix! owner wanted 410,000. i asked the realtor i wonder if he take 400,000???
    sure enough owner said ok. so i talked my wife etc. and since baby on the way i thought the extra room and yard be nice. also perfect for my business! we talked my wifes mom, told her about it and asked if she be willing to rent the nice finished basement for what she had been paying rent for where she was? she said ok. went to bank etc.etc. my credit score fair, my wifes good, her moms excellent! long story short, loan officer said could save 300 plus a month if her moms name on mortgage with my wife as co sign. i said to my wifes mother only if she agreed that my name go on the deed and she agree she have no interest in the property! she said of coarse i do it for you and my daughter, my present to both you! i said are you absolutely sure??? because i will sell my home to do this! for the down payment and rest my equity to fix and upgrade the house to goody goody! also knowing some cultures ways i made them promise me before i sell my home to buy that one, that they agree . only the 4 of us would live there! No Extended Family, Friends, Etc. Just The 4 Of Us! I Mentioned How Important This was To Me And The deal Many Times! They Swore And agreed Every Time! "I Knew I Could Not Live In A House Overcrowded!!! They Agreed And assured Me Just The 4 Of Us we Promise!!! Me, My Wife, Her Mom, Our Unborn Son! 3 Bedroom House. I Added 4th Bedroom for my Son. We Bought The house I Put 40,000 Down. Them none! The Other 40,000 I Put Into The House as Home Improvements! Make A safe, Comfy, Reliable, Home For All Of us! The House was Built 1954. Needed Some Improvements.
    I asked My wifes mother if she wanted The Upstairs? Or The Downstairs? Both Full Kitchen, Baths. 2 Bedrooms. She Said The Downstairs. So..... We Bought The House! Less Than 1 Year later My Wife And Her Mother Said Her Brother Was Coming To Visit. "Note: Aunt Already Been Staying In The House, Supposedly Just Visiting!"
    I Said To My Wife Of Coarse Your Brother Can Visit! He Came, They Picked Him Up New Jersey Harbor/Port. "He Worked On A Cargo Ship That Traveled The World" They Told Me He Had seaman's Leave For Couple weeks. He Came! One Week, Two Weeks, Three Weeks, Etc. Gone by! I said When Does Your Brother Have To Go back??? "Weird Feeling" I couldn't Imagine A Ship Staying In Port More Than A few weeks! They said He Extended! He Will Get The returning Ship! Approx, One Year Later He Still In The House! Along With The Aunt! She Never Left Either! Then Friends Of The Brother Also Living In Our Home 3-4 Days Out Of The week! Drinking Etc. I Had To Step Over The Brother/Friends In The Morning Before My Work. "Past Out From Drinking"! My Wife Also Drinker! 12 Heinekins In Less Than An Hour!!! 5 Feet Tall 105 Pounds She Is! And Extremely Out Of Control When She drinks! The Office I created In The Garage For My Business, Is where I Wound Up Living For Over A Year!!! Karaoke Until 4 Am! 3-4 Nights A Week. Drinking every Night! I Asked My Wifes Mother Why They Lied To Me? "Was My Life/My Dream They Were stealing! The Mother Responded, Because Its The Filipino Way!!!
    Then I Overheard Conversation With Uncle, A captain Of A cargo Ship. He Was Angry That They Would Jeopardize Many To Allow Their Son/Brother To jump Ship!!!! At This Point I Am Confused/Dev estated/ Hurt/And Very Worried!!! I Told Them I Cannot Allow Or Be a Part Of This Family Cheating, Lying, And Breaking The Rules here!!! Throughout The Year I Kept saying To My Wife And Her Mother. We need To Put My Name On The DEED To The House as Agreed! They Said "Ohhh We Will, We Will, Dont Worry" I Thought Maybe They Didnt Know how? So I went To My settlement attorney/Friend And He Gave Me The Form To Put My Name On The deed. Took It Home And Explained we needed To Make Appointment To see Notary's/Witnesses Etc. and Sign To Put My Name On The deed as agreed! They Declined!!! At This Point I Knew I Had Been scammed!decieved! lyed To! These Are Bad People!!! Coming Home One Night Me Trying To Connect With My Wife/Explain Situation Etc. She Got drunk, We Where Driving Home On highway, She Started Yelling, Swinging Her Arms And Trying To Make Me Wreck The car! I Without Thinking, Self Defense Moved My Arm Outward To Move Her Arms So I Could see The Road. She Dropped Her Arm I Guess? My Hand Hit Her Between The eyes! she Got Quiet! we get home my nerves are very bad! i drink 2 beers, me very upset and confused as to what has happened? next thing i know, 2 police officers are arresting me for spousal abuse! 2 days in jail! "I Lost" HOW????? Why???? I Know why, Because I Am Man And She Is Woman!!!! Simple! 1 Week In Jail Total, 1 Year Probation! 1 year Of anger Management Where You Cannot Get Out Or Graduate Without Admitting You Hit Your Wife Etc!!! In A Letter! My Morals All My life!: don't Lye, Don't Cheat, Don't Steal!!! The Only Way Out Of The class Is To LYE!!!!! And say You Hit Your Wife And How Sorry You are!!! Not The Truth, But No choice If You want out!!! Long Story Short, Now I Rent 2 Rooms From A friend, 1 For Me And 1 For My son!!! The Room He Had In The House I Put Everything I Had In This World Into, they Gave To Someone From Their family! My Son No room Of His Own There! Me Struggling To Survive! Not Mentioned Before But My Wife Threw 3000 dollar business Laptop On concrete Floor destroying My businesss Customer Base/Was Doing a Backup When She Did It! Perfect Timing! ALL GONE!!!! Then She Closede All My accounts, I was Forced To Leave The house, My House! Went To court I asked For 3 Months to Have Time To Make Some Kind Of Transition Since I Was Dug In That House With My Business! Court Agreed! However My Wife And Her Family Blocked My Access, Changed All The Locks, Kept Me From Working For three Months! Police Not Want Get Involved Domestic Issues! especially Not immigration Issues! I Called ICE, Their hotline, Stayed On Hold For 15 Minutes, Then finally Someone, They Said After Hearing My story, Sorry Mr. will We Cant Help! But You Really Should call CIS! So I called CIS, Same Thing, on Hold For approx 10 Minutes. Then Someone, Told my Story, They said All I can Do Is withdraw My sponsorship! And That I really needed To call ICE! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I wrote Letter Withdrawing My Sponsorship With Summary. After Approx. 35000 dollars, I Got Shared Custody Of my son! But I Am Using Coins To survive. 2 Months Late On Every Bill For Almost 2 Years! Is miracle I Made It This far!!! Older filipinas That have been Here For 20 Plus years Have Approached Me telling Me How Bad These People Are! How Dishonest! They Are The Good Filipinos! Good People That Understand Right From wrong! However If In A court Situation, Filipinos Will Never testify For The filipino community Has Its Own Rules! And Could Make Life Very Hard For The good Ones! Im Just Surviving! Trying My Best To see That My Only son Stays Happy! I Dont Know How I Will Pay For Gas, Food, Etc. My Life = Atomic Bomb! Dreams Destroyed By Others From Another Country! Greed, Deceit, Manipulation, sociopath, And My Own Country Wouldnt Help!!!!!!!
    I Would Love To Hear What Others Think?????
    Thanks.

  3. #3
    Hi Dcwtech,

    Wow. I don't think anyone here can offer much in the way of advice. Sounds like a situation that just went sour - not sure if there are immigration issues at all to consider. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I think it's best to move on. You're only 40. There's alot of time for you to find someone else and certainly move forward on a better path. I wish the best of luck to you.

  4. #4
    Indeed, this is caotic, but this could have been an American just the same.
    “...I may condemn what you say, but I will give my life for that you may say it”! - Voltaire

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Half is The System1 half is immigration! The System sayes A Women Is The mother! The mother Is The Mother! no Matter how bad! The immigration Is The Other, The Part That cant Cant Be Fixed! Too Much For Too Long! Mistakes Made And Now No one Knows How To fix! Soooo... Most Of The System Tryes To Ignore It! My Son Is A little human Being! feelings, Thinker, Common sense Built in! hes 4 But Most would Swear He was 7! Whats Going To Happen To My #1? I struggle To give Him Happy memmories, But The Bad He will Be faced With Is Going To affect him eventually! Even Though I Cannot Give Him What I Intended, I Strive To Survive To Give Him The Basics! Sad Because I really Dont see That The Ones In Power Are Truly looking Out For The teenys! They Will Be Us Very Fast! We Will Be gone And They Will Inherit The Misery! Maybe All We Have To Give That Really Matters Is The Small Memories Of Happiness We Gave Them? Our World seems To Be Getting To That Point Where Fighting To survive Is Daily And The Only Peace Is The Small Tiny Memories Of Happiness remembered In Childhood!

  7. #7
    With all due respect, bring yourself down to Earth and discuss the situation. You either need help or you don't. Just tell your story without all the drama. I'm sure there's someone here who has a similar experience.

  8. #8
    It was planned!
    After 2, 4 feet Tall files Of manilla folders! The Puzzle pieces say "GREED"! Without Thinking Ahead Of How It Will Affect the children! Thats The difference between American way Of Thinking And Afar! Im Proud To Be American! But Im affraid its Importance Is Coming To an End! New World Com ming!!!

  9. #9
    To ProudUSC,
    Drama? I Wrote The Real! Not Hiding Anything! I Grew Up Very Bad/Poor neihborhood! Worked Hard! Created My dreams!!! Followed The All american Rules! Dont Lie, Dont Cheat, Dont Steal!!! Bad People Can affect Your life Also! And You Never See It Coming! Theres Not Another Soul On This Planet More Loyal To My Country! DRAMA????? i Didnt Want To Leave Out The drama! Because When Others Intend To destroy Your Life, It really Does Matter To Show You Are A real Person!!!

  10. #10
    Hi Dcwtech,

    Drama gets in the way of truth. I believe you have a terrible situation on your hands, but starting all these threads and the drama you've added makes your story a bit unbelievable. I think you should stick to the facts without adding all the other stuff - that is, if you want to get help here. Otherwise, people are just going to pass your posts.

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