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Thread: kERRY'S RESUME

  1. #1
    NAME: John Kerry

    RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).
    EXPERIENCE:
    Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    MILITARY:
    I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    COLLEGE:
    I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
    After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
    As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this
    country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I
    served in Vietnam (four months).

    My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending
    all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might
    spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in
    Vietnam (four months).

    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
    None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

    PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".

    I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

    I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

  2. #2
    NAME: John Kerry

    RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).
    EXPERIENCE:
    Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    MILITARY:
    I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    COLLEGE:
    I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
    After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
    As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this
    country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I
    served in Vietnam (four months).

    My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending
    all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might
    spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in
    Vietnam (four months).

    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
    None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

    PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".

    I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

    I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

  3. #3
    RESUME

    GEORGE W. BUSH

    1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

    Washington, DC20520

    EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

    Law Enforcement:

    I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
    influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
    license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and
    is not available.

    MILITARY:

    I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
    drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas
    Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

    COLLEGE:

    I graduated from YaleUniversity with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

    I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in
    Midland,T! exas, in 1975.

    I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil inTexas. The company
    went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers
    baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

    With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including
    Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.



    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

    I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
    Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
    replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

    I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
    borrowed money.

    I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
    history.

    With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and! my father's
    appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over
    500,000 votes.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

    I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
    record.

    I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
    billion dollars per week.

    I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I
    shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

    I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
    12-month period.

    I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

    I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S.
    stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost
    their jobs and that trend continues e! very month.

    I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
    administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire,"

    Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record
    for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

    I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
    corporate campaign donations.

    My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
    Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
    History, Enron.

    My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
    assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

    I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation
    or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica!
    Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest
    corporate rip- offs in history.

    I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
    intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

    I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I

    changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
    government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to
    administration than any President in U.S. history.

    I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the
    history of the United States government.

    I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.history.

    I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
    the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

    I withdrew the U.S. from th! e World Court of Law.

    I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees
    and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

    I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
    inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

    I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President
    since the advent of television.

    I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one- year
    period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the
    worst security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for
    the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later
    made the U.S. the most

    I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
    protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for
    protests against any person in the history of mankind.

    I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
    pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did
    so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.citizens,
    and the world community.

    I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
    benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.In my
    State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and
    then blamed the lies on our British friends.

    I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%)
    view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am
    supporti! ng development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster,"a WMD.

    I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic] to
    justice.



    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

    All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my
    father'slibrary, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC
    investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are
    sealedin secrecy and unavailable for public view.

    All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice- President,
    attended regarding public energypolicy are sealed in secrecy and
    unavailable for public review.

    PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

  4. #4
    SCHWINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG !!!!

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Name: George W. Bush

    Residence: The White House (until January 2005), a ranch in Crawford, TX, and assorted homes owned by my family. (I didn't serve in Vietnam, or any other armed conflict, and I was honorably discharged from the National Guard even though I missed several months of required service.)

    Experience: As President, I've promoted programs that I thought would get me re-elected, even when they clashed with my personal beliefs. I have turned a federal budget surplus into the largest budget deficit since Reagan, and am the first president since Herbert Hoover to complete a term in office with a net loss in jobs. I supported No Child Left Behind, even though I have not provided funding for it. I chose as my Secretary of Education a man who, during his former tenure as Supt. of the Houston School District, presided over fraud and misrepresentation in order to win recognition for improvements in student retention. My appointee as attorney general has presided over some of the most egregious violations of civil liberties for Americans since the McCarthy Era. At the same time, my choice as head of immigration enforcement has publicly said he cannot and will not enforce immigration laws. I've benefited from nepotism and family connections. Won election to the governorship of Texas on my family's coattails.
    Am a failed small businessman, propped up by family money and influence. . (I didn't serve in Vietnam, or any other armed conflict, and I was honorably discharged from the National Guard even though I missed several months of required service.)

    Military: I used family connections to get into the National Guard and thereby avoided being sent to Vietnam. I have an unexplained period in which I did not report for duty as required. I did not report for my flight physical as required, and was disqualified from flying, thereby wasting the million dollars or so the military had invested in my training. However, family connections helped to cover that up. The only experience I have in a combat zone is my landing (in a flight suit) on a carrier deck while I was President, and my one-day visit to Iraq.

    Education: Yale and Harvard. Was turned down by the University of Texas law school"”family connections didn't work there"”so I did an M.B.A. at Harvard. Graduated with gentleman's C. Have no respect for educational accomplishment or intellectual curiosity. My M.B.A. was no help in my experience as a businessman (See "Experience" above.) . (I didn't serve in Vietnam, or any other armed conflict, and I was honorably discharged from the National Guard even though I missed several months of required service.)

    Accomplishments: Being born into a patrician and wealthy American family. My paternal grandfather is a former Senator. My maternal grandfather was publisher of McCall's magazine. My father is a former President of the United States who extended the family fortune into gas and oil (and who currently "works" for Carlisle Group, a private investment bank doing much of its business with Saudi Arabia). My brother is governor of Florida. As President of the U.S., I reported gross income of over $800,000 (including the President's salary, which I have continued to take). As President, and a former governor of Texas, I will collect pensions and benefits from both, as well as lifetime perqs such as Secret Service protection as a former President. . (I didn't serve in Vietnam, or any other armed conflict, and I was honorably discharged from the National Guard even though I missed several months of required service.)

    Records and References: None. Somehow, my DUI records were covered up before the Governor's race in Texas. My National Guard records are largely missing, though some keep cropping up whenever there is pressure from the media.

    Personal: I practice my born-again faith every day as President, even to the extent of sending the U.S. military on a "crusade" against Saddam Hussein. I don't ask my father, a former President, for advice on military matters, but look to a "higher father""”which is why I ordered the war in Iraq even though I do not have a plan for extricating us from the region. I spent a month (the longest vacation by a President) chopping wood on my ranch in Crawford, Texas. My family's holdings include gas and oil interests, which I have used the U.S. military to zealously protect in Iraq. My vice-president **** Cheney is the former head of (and now has a golden parachute from) Halliburton, a major player in the petroleum industry. The company is now under investigation for overcharging the U.S. government by billions of dollars in a contract which they did not have to compete for. Everything that goes wrong (recession, 9/11, etc.) is Bill Clinton's fault, even though I've been President for four years.

    PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING

  7. #7
    Aliba, you are too stupid. didn't u see you repeating, you idiot!!!! no wonder you are pro Kerry. All cowards are pro Kerry.

    Keep crying, I dont want war, I am a coward, I want to elect Kerry, so we dont have to war with anyone, cause I am a chicken....!!!!

    kwak kwak kwaaaaaaaaaaak kwa kwak!!!!!

  8. #8
    I thought ducks went "kwak kwak", not chickens?

    I'd go with more of a "bghoppp cluk cluk" for a chicken.

  9. #9
    Lola777--You obviously haven't heard the expression, "Great minds think alike".

    S.'s wasn't up there when I started writing my reply. We posted about the same time, hence, two versions. I like his or hers--contains more specifics.

  10. #10
    Lola--If you want to elect Kerry, why on earth did you post a piece disparaging him? Or did you just think it was funny?! If you want him elected, you have a funny way of showing it.

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