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Thread: The 10 Stupidest Things Hillary Clinton Has Ever Said

  1. #1
    10. "I have to confess that it's crossed my mind that you could not be a Republican and a Christian."

    9. "God bless the America we are trying to create."

    8. "We have a lot of kids who don't know what works means. They think work is a four-letter word."

    7. "He ran a gas station down in St. Louis... No, Mahatma Gandhi was a great leader of the 20th century."¯ –introducing a quote by Mahatma Gandhi

    6. "Who is going to find out? These women are trash. Nobody's going to believe them."¯ –on Bill Clinton's bimbo eruptions

    5. "If I didn't kick his *** every day, he wouldn't be worth anything."¯ –on Bill Clinton

    4. "I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession which I entered before my husband was in public life."

    3. "We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

    2. "I have said that I'm not running and I'm having a great time being pres "” being a first-term senator." "”on her presidential ambitions

    1. "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

  2. #2
    10. "I have to confess that it's crossed my mind that you could not be a Republican and a Christian."

    9. "God bless the America we are trying to create."

    8. "We have a lot of kids who don't know what works means. They think work is a four-letter word."

    7. "He ran a gas station down in St. Louis... No, Mahatma Gandhi was a great leader of the 20th century."¯ –introducing a quote by Mahatma Gandhi

    6. "Who is going to find out? These women are trash. Nobody's going to believe them."¯ –on Bill Clinton's bimbo eruptions

    5. "If I didn't kick his *** every day, he wouldn't be worth anything."¯ –on Bill Clinton

    4. "I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession which I entered before my husband was in public life."

    3. "We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

    2. "I have said that I'm not running and I'm having a great time being pres "” being a first-term senator." "”on her presidential ambitions

    1. "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

  3. #3
    Oh, man.... This Election Year is off to a rough start, and it's only going to get worse. If you need any proof, look no further than the Hillary Clinton Toilet Brush. This is about as LOW as a political item can get.

    It's a genuine, usable toilet brush shaped like the former First Lady -- and as much as you hate to hear this -- possible first female President of the United States.

    The Hillary Toilet Brush is about 14-inches tall, not including the stand. She comes in a fun display box, referring her as the "First Cleaning Lady." (like we said, it's already getting ugly)

  4. #4
    Hillary Clinton Gets Some Advice

    Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House.

    The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

    Washington says, "Never tell a lie,"

    Ouch! Says Hillary, I don't know about that.

    The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

    Jefferson says, "Listen to the people,"

    Ho! I really don't want to do that.

    On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

    Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."

  5. #5
    Clinton on the Titanic

    Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.

    The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.

    Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.

    Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."

    Nixon goes: "**** the women."

    Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time?

  6. #6
    Hillary Clinton Visits School Children

    Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.

    One little boy puts up his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is.

    "Kenneth."

    "And what is your question, Kenneth?"

    "I have three questions: First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? And, Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"

    Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

    A different little boy puts his hand up; Hillary points him out and asks him what his name is.

    "Larry."

    "And what is your question, Larry?"

    "I have five questions: First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House? Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And, Fifth - what happened to Kenneth?

  7. #7
    Clinton Goes to Hell

    One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."

    Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

    So the devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Bill.

    The devil opened a third door. In it, Clinton saw Jesse Jackson lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Clinton took this in in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this."

    The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"

  8. #8
    Bill, Hillary and the Lockbox

    When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 25 years of marriage, Hillary never looked.

    However, on the afternoon of their 25th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were three empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was curious as to why.

    That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the cans in the box?"

    Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

    Hillary was shocked, but said, "Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula, and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened but temptation does happen and I guess that three times is not that bad considering the years." So they hugged and made their peace.

    Then Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?" Bill answered sheepishly, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash."

  9. #9
    Clinton's Poll Numbers

    An official Gallup survey polled over 1000 women with the question: Would you sleep with Bill Clinton?
    1% said, "No"
    2% said, "Yes"
    97% said, "Never Again"

  10. #10

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