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Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: what to do?

  1. #1
    i am married to a perminent resident who became a US citizen in 2004. we are married for 9 years and i came here to US in 2002 april on V1- VISA. my wife filed I-130 in october 1998. we have lot of issues that we tried to solve but never materialized. we have a six year old son. in the past four year i was decieved of many things and was threatened along that if dont do what they want me to do that they will with draw my petition and i wont be able to be with my son. which really scared me so kept yeilding to them. i am doctor from india but they did not let me take the licence exams but this year i dared and went ahead and took the exam with out their approval. the same exam my wife took 4 times and couldnt clear it. so she thought i wont be able to do it and they even tried to hide my books and delete my exam practise questions that i use to get it from friends. unfortunately by Gods grace i cleared the in one short and got good score too. i dont have a work permit as my wife did not want me to work as they needed some one to take care of house and kid. we live with my inlaws and i dont have any one known in US. so never had any one to talk to nor to ask for help. as a man i cant tell these things to my parents or sisters who are in india. to cut it short now that i clear the exam, they dont want me in the house and want me to go back to india. leaving my professional acheviement to side, i have son who is 6 and without whome my life is nothing. all these year i did not say any thing to my wife nor my inlaws is because of my son. i use to take delight and feel happy just taking care of him and use ignore every thing. but now they threw me out of the house with out work permit with out money and without a place to go. they instructed all my acquaitences not to help me. more over to top it all my wife told me that she withdrew my application( petition) in august 2003. INS has sent lot of letters asking me to change my status and also sent a notice of withdrawl of petition and other which were kept secret to me and tempered all the evidence. when i questioned them as to why they withdrew my petition , she accused me of cheating on her and giving her STD. when asked as to why she never told me about nor did she asked me to show my self to the doctor or some one or atleast give me a chance to prove my innocence about the allegation before she could take such a drastic step. she did not have answers to any of my question except to say that i dont trust you any more. what i want to know-
    1. i came here legally and was married to my wife and stayed togather for more than 4 year before i came here. we married each other in good faith. we are still married and we have son 6 years old. my petition I- 130 is withdrawn with out my knowledge so can i still contact the INS for the adjustment of my status.
    2. what possibilities am i left with inorder to stay in this country because if i leave then i wont be able to see nor stay with my son to help him out when ever he needs me.
    3.she is not willing to give me a divorse here in US but wants me to go to india and take the divorce. my wife and son are american citizens so i dont think indian courts have jurisdiction over them and i wont be granted any rights as father over my son. what i want is just the visitation rights and the right to stay here in US. How should i proceed to get those rights.
    4. will i have to leave the country if i take a divorce from my wife as she is not willing to give nor wants to stay with me nor wants me to visit my son.
    5.friends are suggesting me file under battered spouse but none of them are willing to stand by me to furnish any affidavit of abuse even though every one knows how i suffered. its just they will loose the friendship they share with my inlaws and wife.i havent filed any case with any one so i dont have full pledged evidence to support my abuse. i dont think any one produce such solid evidence other than the circumstatial one.
    please every one who understands my condition help me out to do what is best for me and my son.

  2. #2
    i am married to a perminent resident who became a US citizen in 2004. we are married for 9 years and i came here to US in 2002 april on V1- VISA. my wife filed I-130 in october 1998. we have lot of issues that we tried to solve but never materialized. we have a six year old son. in the past four year i was decieved of many things and was threatened along that if dont do what they want me to do that they will with draw my petition and i wont be able to be with my son. which really scared me so kept yeilding to them. i am doctor from india but they did not let me take the licence exams but this year i dared and went ahead and took the exam with out their approval. the same exam my wife took 4 times and couldnt clear it. so she thought i wont be able to do it and they even tried to hide my books and delete my exam practise questions that i use to get it from friends. unfortunately by Gods grace i cleared the in one short and got good score too. i dont have a work permit as my wife did not want me to work as they needed some one to take care of house and kid. we live with my inlaws and i dont have any one known in US. so never had any one to talk to nor to ask for help. as a man i cant tell these things to my parents or sisters who are in india. to cut it short now that i clear the exam, they dont want me in the house and want me to go back to india. leaving my professional acheviement to side, i have son who is 6 and without whome my life is nothing. all these year i did not say any thing to my wife nor my inlaws is because of my son. i use to take delight and feel happy just taking care of him and use ignore every thing. but now they threw me out of the house with out work permit with out money and without a place to go. they instructed all my acquaitences not to help me. more over to top it all my wife told me that she withdrew my application( petition) in august 2003. INS has sent lot of letters asking me to change my status and also sent a notice of withdrawl of petition and other which were kept secret to me and tempered all the evidence. when i questioned them as to why they withdrew my petition , she accused me of cheating on her and giving her STD. when asked as to why she never told me about nor did she asked me to show my self to the doctor or some one or atleast give me a chance to prove my innocence about the allegation before she could take such a drastic step. she did not have answers to any of my question except to say that i dont trust you any more. what i want to know-
    1. i came here legally and was married to my wife and stayed togather for more than 4 year before i came here. we married each other in good faith. we are still married and we have son 6 years old. my petition I- 130 is withdrawn with out my knowledge so can i still contact the INS for the adjustment of my status.
    2. what possibilities am i left with inorder to stay in this country because if i leave then i wont be able to see nor stay with my son to help him out when ever he needs me.
    3.she is not willing to give me a divorse here in US but wants me to go to india and take the divorce. my wife and son are american citizens so i dont think indian courts have jurisdiction over them and i wont be granted any rights as father over my son. what i want is just the visitation rights and the right to stay here in US. How should i proceed to get those rights.
    4. will i have to leave the country if i take a divorce from my wife as she is not willing to give nor wants to stay with me nor wants me to visit my son.
    5.friends are suggesting me file under battered spouse but none of them are willing to stand by me to furnish any affidavit of abuse even though every one knows how i suffered. its just they will loose the friendship they share with my inlaws and wife.i havent filed any case with any one so i dont have full pledged evidence to support my abuse. i dont think any one produce such solid evidence other than the circumstatial one.
    please every one who understands my condition help me out to do what is best for me and my son.

  3. #3
    You should try to ge back with your wife, whatever it takes, and then file the petition I-130 again.

  4. #4
    i tried every thing. the problem is that i still love her and i am willing to do any thing to prove that. i was even willing to go back to india if she wishes to move with me. its been 8 years since we left our profession of being doctors and trying to do odd jobs. life is good there too. thats what i dont understand with my wife as to what are her intensions. i have asked her forgiveness even thought i havent done any thing. even though i was called all the names under the sun from begger to a theif, i took all that in order to be with them. i dont know what to do.

  5. #5
    Why do you think she turned against you?

  6. #6
    Please consult an immigration attorney about your situation. On its face, it appears to me that you could have a valid VAWA claim, but I don't know all of the specifics. If you are short of funds to see an immigration attorney, look up Catholic Human Charities in your area. They can often assist with immigration matters without charge and will certainly point you in the direction of someone who can. Best of luck to you.
    The above is simply an opinion. Your mileage may vary. For immigration issues, please consult an immigration attorney.

  7. #7
    thanks every one for the good advice. we both come from different backgrounds but fell in love in college and got married against our parents wishes. her mother always black mails her emotionally and always degrades me as i dont belong to a middle class family and they are well to do. its not that we are poor or any thing. luckily we are four of us the family and all of us settled well in life. they never liked me move ahead professionally. my wife her self is pretty competative but unfortunately she couldnt clear this licence exam that she gave 4 times. in the past 3 years they never let me take the exam and have decieved me many times even to the extent that in 2004 we planned to move back to india and they sent me to india promising that they will follow me if i go there and find a place to stay. they were suppose to join me in 2 months but i stayed there for 8 months without them ( my wife & son) finally i had to come back to see whats happening. she told me that she couldnt leave her parents as they are sick( medically)and asked me to give her one more chance to take the exam again. so i stayed at home and did the house work and took care of my son while she stayed and prepared for the exam for 6 months. again unfortunately she couldnt clear the exam. again the proposal of going back to india was put up but this time i opposed that idea and with one of my friends financial support i took the licence exam. initially they did not protest much but said that if you dont clear then you have to go back to india for which i agreed because it made sense to me too as its been more than 8 years since we left our practise trying to chase this american dream. they took for granted that i wont clear but by Gods grace i passed with good score. now they turned the tables to the other side and asked me, since you cleared the exam in near future you going to be a doctor, so what gaurantee do we have that you are going to stay with us and not leave us if we give you a status? they know they know they treated me bad and they feel that i am going to take revenge or some thing like that. surely i dont know what kind of gaurentee i can give to say that i married her not for any thing but to be with her. if i had to leave i dont think i will wait for 9 years to do that.so all this mounts up to this but what i dont understand is i passed my exams now but my wife has withdrawn my case in august 2003. and never told me about that. i never followed it up as i was waiting for my visa number or my file to become current. she was a green card holder when she filed my case but she became a citizen in 2004 which she kept as a secret all this ( till last month) so i dont know what to say. i thought i knew her but all this makes me doubt my own judgement. i worked as doctor for 5 years in india and made lot of good decisions in treating my patients and a good name but personally i now i doubt my own judgements and lost all my confidence and feel pity for my self.

  8. #8
    Don't feel sorry for yourself. If you passed your exams and you have your documents - you need to look for a job as a doctor. There is a program where if you go to a rural area, you can work and get your green card and eventually become a citizen. Go to the USCIS website and see what you can find. You should also consult an attorney.

    You are married to the woman so you have rights too. You are crying in your soup and giving your wife all sorts of power. You have a RIGHT to see you son and you can divorce her too! If what you say is rue, this is emotional abuse.

    Sappyconifer is right - go see a lawyer or Catholic HC.

    You are a smart person who could certainly get decent work. If she want to live with her mother - leave her there and find a woman who wants to be your wife. You are not a servant!!!

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