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Thread: I-360 question

  1. #1
    I am hoping someone out there can help me. I am the USC. I brought my husband her from Armenia on a fiance visa. After the marriage he became increasingly verbally abusive, and started to become violent ( He threw all our groceries at the front of our apartment, broke the front door in, and threatened to beat me-- at the time I was 2 months pregnant and we had only been married 4 months) Needless to say I left him, withdrew his I-130, and filed for a divorce. He refused to sign the divorce. After I left him he started telling people that I was "bad" to him, so bad that the only thing I didn't do is "kill" him, but I tried to do that becasuse he "almost died from fammine" because he had "no food, money or transportation." However the truth of the matter is that when I left him he had a job, and I paid all the bills for the next month after I left him. He also emptied the joint account twice and I was stuck paying the overdraft fees. The house was also stocked with the almost $200 dollars worth of groceries that he threw against the front of our apartment. Now over a year later he has threatened to take my son to Armenia, and he is suing me for partial custody. I have just found out that the reason he is still in the USA is because he has filed the I-360 and his approval letter says that deportation will be deferred for 15 months while his file is processed. What does all this mean, and what can I do???????

  2. #2
    I am hoping someone out there can help me. I am the USC. I brought my husband her from Armenia on a fiance visa. After the marriage he became increasingly verbally abusive, and started to become violent ( He threw all our groceries at the front of our apartment, broke the front door in, and threatened to beat me-- at the time I was 2 months pregnant and we had only been married 4 months) Needless to say I left him, withdrew his I-130, and filed for a divorce. He refused to sign the divorce. After I left him he started telling people that I was "bad" to him, so bad that the only thing I didn't do is "kill" him, but I tried to do that becasuse he "almost died from fammine" because he had "no food, money or transportation." However the truth of the matter is that when I left him he had a job, and I paid all the bills for the next month after I left him. He also emptied the joint account twice and I was stuck paying the overdraft fees. The house was also stocked with the almost $200 dollars worth of groceries that he threw against the front of our apartment. Now over a year later he has threatened to take my son to Armenia, and he is suing me for partial custody. I have just found out that the reason he is still in the USA is because he has filed the I-360 and his approval letter says that deportation will be deferred for 15 months while his file is processed. What does all this mean, and what can I do???????

  3. #3
    Dear lau66,

    I am so sorry that this happened. I don't know anything about the I-360. There is a member on the board named Sammy who does, so hopefully he will help you.

    Dealing with USCIS can be very draining both time wise and emotionally. Do you know if the I-130 has for sure been withdrawn? By this I mean, how did you withdraw it? You cannot be sure if you only sent a letter. If you aren't sure, you might consider making an InfoPass appointment and going there in person to withdraw.

    How do you know your ex filed for I-360? Did he show you this approval letter about 15-months?

    I am by no means an expert on this, but it sounds like your ex has an attorney or at least someone to point him toward the I-360. Do you have an attorney?

    Are you divorced? If not, have you filed yet?

    If other members don't respond, you might want to repost under a different title...the I-360 is very specific and I think you need infomation on that as well as what other options you have.

    Take care of yourself and Good luck!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    East Hampton [Long Island], New York [USA]

    Since you have mentioned that he received a letter from USCIS saying that Deportation for him is deferred for 15 months then I'm 100% sure that he has filed for I-360. It is not an approval letter though; instead this letter is about telling him that USCIS has decided not to initiate a deportation proceeding against him for the next 15 months. Everyone who files this petition receives such letter, but deferred period could be varying case-by-case basis. The officer who is handling his I-360 petition knows that 15 months are enough for him to adjust his status. He would also receive a letter very shortly as a result of filing this petition for allowing him to receive public assistances. A lot of benefits are provided to those who file this petition.

    I-360 is a self-petition wherein aliens don't need a US citizen or LPR-spouse to sponsor them. They can get green card based upon their own. That's why it is called-self-petition. However, this petition is needed to be filed based upon abuses. Abuses could be emotional and mental ones as well, and not necessary physical ones alone. But everything needs to be documented. Plus, a lot of evidentary documents are required to get approval on I-360. But gathering of all those required documents is not that hard if someone is very bright or if s/he has a smarty to guide him/her.

    I don't know what information you are looking here. Do you want to divorce him? Do you want to make him deported? Just let you know that no govt. agency would care to your details of what wrong he did to you except divorce judge, nor those details would play any role in achieving anything positive except gaining emotional support. Also, it doesn't matter whether or not he signs divorce paper because divorce judge is the only one who decides whether parties should be divorced once a petition of divorce is filed. But then you would need to wait for 'No Fault' divorce, which is based upon the separation time of party. This separation time varies state to state. When someone says that s/he doesn't want to sign divorce papers, then it is actually referred to disagreement of one or more issues alleged on the Divorce Complaint. Those issues could be spousal alimony, child support, child custody, distribution of marital assets, tort claims, attorney's fees and a ground for divorce itself. If both parties sign the divorce paper, then it means that they agree to everything mentioned on divorce complaint mutually. As a result, they don't need to wait separation period because they claim on divorce complaint that they were separated for that long as their state's matrimonial laws required.

    I've a very bad news for you. I-360 is a very confidential petition and USCIS is strictly prohibited to tell or share any information about I-360 with anyone except with govt. agencies. So naturally, USCIS won't tell you anything if you would choose to contact them. Besides, it is now between him and them, and not you in between. Once you withdrew paperwork that you filed for him prior to adjudication of his I-485, you are completely out of this game. By the way, I wonder why did you file I-130 for him if your husband entered here on fiancé visa?

    Nevertheless, I want you to write to I-360 Unit in Vermont very clearly and specifically that your husband filed this petition based upon false information and that you are very sure that he has fabricated everything just to be legal here, therefore his case should be investigated carefully. Do not mention them anything what he did to you and about any other concerns of you like custody of child and etc. Also, don't forget to include his full name, date of birth, country of birth and his Alien number. It should be typed it in and not handwriting, and send it thru overnight mail because this petition gets adjudicated in a few days and not in weeks regardless of what timeframe would be mentioned. This petition is adjudicated only in Vermont regardless of where petitioner resides. This is the address wherein you would need to send the request-

    U.S. Department of Homeland Security
    U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services
    Vermont Service Center
    75 Lower Welden St.
    Saint Albans, Vermont 05479
    Attn: I-360 Unit

    I can bet you my life that your husband has someone who is helping him; otherwise he would not have dared to file this petition. He was told that he is not allowed to adjust his status in the United States since he entered here on fiancé visa. This petition is the only option he has in order to live here without leaving the United States first. So, he did everything systematically with careful planning. Time is the essence in your situation. You need to move fast if you don't want him to get his residency based upon false allegations against you about abusing him in the marriage. Though nobody will ask you whether you abused him or not, but it would remain in the record with federal govt.

    Good Luck.

  5. #5
    --I am sure that my I 130 was withdrawn, as I have received a notice from USCIS.
    --I only know about my husband's I360 because at our last hearing for child custody my family lawyer asked for proof of his immigration status, and my lawyer got a copy of his approval notice which stated deferred deportation for 15 months.
    --Yes I filed for Divorce in September 2004, but he has refused to sign it, and in Pennsylvania I have to wait 2 years before it can go to court to be approved without him signing it.

  6. #6
    Thanks for your information. I will write to the Vermont Service center as you advised. Yes he does have help because the notice he recieved about the 15 months was sent to a Lawyer in Philadelphia. Can my congressman help in this situation or not? Yes-- I would like him deported because he continues to threaten to take my son, and I am terrified that he will be abusive to him if he would ever get unsupervised custody or that he would abduct him.

  7. #7
    Does the USCIS really grant the I360 without doing any type of investigation. I can't believe that they grant these with in a matter of a few days, especially after all the processing someone has to under go in order to enter the USA. When I withdrew my petition for him I also included in my letter information about him not having complete police records for all the places he has lived when he filed for his fiance visa, he lied about his current place of residence when filing for K-1 visa, He worked illegally when coming to the USA before EAD came through, and he also brought his sister here on a visitors visa, but found jobs for here as a nanny for the 6 months she was here. Also the whole time he was here he was trying to find someone to marry his brother (he even asked my mom on multiple occasions) He made comments that it would be easy to bring his brother over on a K-1 visa because he knew how to do it now. I gave them lots of information about him-- and I made sure that his Alien number was on the documentation. Doesn't this information stay with his file. Won't they take all information into consideration before just granting him approval on a fraudulent I360. I truly believe that he just used me to come here.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    East Hampton [Long Island], New York [USA]

    First and foremost, I would like you to know that I was specialized in handling VAWA cases (I-360s). As a matter of fact, I started my career by handling these kinds of cases with non-profit immigration advocacy agency sponsored by State. Thus, I believe I know all the nitty-gritty of VAWA proceedings. I can even tell you how many officers are assigned in I-360 unit to adjudicate these petitions and what kind of training they were given in order to dispose this petition.

    Hence, I think you could trust me on my information about this petition. I'm 100% certain on my information. Besides, I've no other purpose here except just to help you out. It takes at most 3-4 weeks to have decision on this petition once it's filed, believe me. Of course, it could stretch 1-2 weeks more if USCIS would require a missing or additional document(s) or information thru RFE (Request for Evidence) to close the deal. Officers who handle this application are well trained for this petition, so naturally they know what to look for in order to approve this petition, which decreases the overall processing time more drastically. USCIS have 15 officers to handle I-360 cases. And since not many immigrants file this petition, these officers are pretty much free most of the times, which means-enough time in their hands to chitchat.

    Further, no FBI criminal background check or any other security check is done for this petition. Rather USCIS requires applicant to submit only ˜Good Moral Character' certificate from local police along with this petition, which is very easy to obtain anyway within a day or so. USCIS doesn't do any investigation for this petition as well unless somebody reports to them about fraud or if they suspect it by their own. They actually decide a case based upon provided evidneces.

    However, mostly immigration attorneys (98% of them) don't advise an alien to file this petition if alien doesn't have any solid documentary evidence of battery despite of really being battered, unless attorney is a crook one or a lot of money is thrown in attorney's way, which seems to be the case here with your husband's attorney; otherwise one has to wonder why this attorney is representing your husband when there is no obvious sign of battery/abuse is seen. But as you know well that money does talk.

    This quick approval on I-360 is very important for those aliens who have a pending green card application (I-485) with USCIS for some time which was previously filed based upon I-130. Because if they are able to get approval quickly on I-360 then they can keep continue on their pending I-485 even if US citizen/LPR withdraws I-130 and Affidavit of Support forms for them. This way aliens don't need to re-file I-485 all over again, which would be a complete waste of time and money otherwise.

    Afterwards, the pending I-485 would be adjudicated based upon approved I-360 rather than based upon previously filed I-130 (which was filed by US citizen/LPR). Green card application (I-485) is always filed by alien even if it goes along with I-130 (filed by US citizen or LPR family member of alien) or I-140 (filed by employer). Also, submitting an Affidavit of Support form is waived for those who adjust their status based upon I-360 petition. Your husband having worked without any authorization in the past would automatically be forgiven as his I-360 is resulted because of his marriage to you, a US citizen.

    Whatever letter you have written to USCIS about his "holy deeds", if that was not sent to right unit and office in the USCIS, then it is useless because they won't see it at the time of adjudicating any petition/application for him. Any of this letters needs to be contained/noted/filed in his actual file than in some "outbox". I-360 is a separate petition and is adjudicated only in Vermont. You should send a copy of your that letter to this unit in VT and another copy to it to local office as well. Once his I-360 gets approved, his I-485 would be adjudicated in local office based upon that approval.

    Make sure not to mention in your letter about your personal differences with him, your concerns of your son custody or anything irrelevant; rather you should focus only on immigration wrongdoing done by him or whatever you believe him to have done wrongly so far. But try your best to make sense point-by-point to understand than just bragging about his deeds in the heat of passion.

    And as I said earlier that a lot of documentary evidences are required to get an approval on this petition, then obviously his lawyer might have advised him of ways to obtain those required documents. Thus, I suspect that your husband might have filed a false police report against you to establish a documentary evidence for this petition. Anyone can lodge a complaint with police. If a charge is not going to be pressed, police don't bother to call or arrest the accused person. Police always ask the complainant whether s/he would like accused to be arrested if police don't notice any sign of a crime has been committed. This kind of police report is called-˜He said-She said".

    Filing a false police report is a crime (felony). And if you would come to know about him filing a false report against you, you may press the criminal charge against him. This would be one of the grounds for USCIS to deport him. I'm sure that your husband must have obtained/arranged some documents from psychotherapist as well based upon fabricated tales against you. And I'm sure he might have incriminated and fabricated a lot of other stuffs as well to prevail in this I-360 game.

    Though these documents or fabrications won't cause any problem to you as far as USCIS is concerned, but I'm sure your husband would use those damaging documents in divorce proceedings against you to jeopardize your rights and interests, especially for requesting the court to grant a full custody of your son. Thru these documents he will try to establish that you are an abuser and dangerous to the child. He may also use those documents to sue you in civil court for tort claims. Tort claims can be filed either on divorce complaint during divorce proceeding or after the divorce as a separate action in a civil court.

    Don't rely on congresspersons for any help in your ordeal. They cannot do anything for you because your issues are something different which are relevant to courts and not to USCIS. USCIS has no jurisdiction on US citizens. Time is the essence here. Remember? Wasting your time on congresspersons and not moving quickly would compromise your rights and interests.

    Any of your concerns about your son needs to be addressed to Divorce Judge, and not to immigration. Family court judge is the only one who would determine who would keep the custody of your son. However, you should know that your husband has a legal right to be in the life of his (your) son being one of the parents. Unless you can prove to Judge that your husband is a totally unfit parent, you should not expect judge to deprive him of his parental rights based upon your statements alone.

    Anyway, judge won't deprive him of his parental rights just because you have some differences with your husband. It is my opinion that a child deserves both parents in his/her life whether parents are together or not. So trying to keep a child away from other parent because of whatever reason is not good unless the presence of other parent is threatening to child's life. Also, don't intermingle immigration issues with issues of divorce or any other issue.

    Don't think your husband might abduct your son even though he might have threatened to do so. People always make a lot of threatening and intimidating remarks in the heat of anger/frustration, but that doesn't mean they would certainly carry on. I don't think he would even think to do so; otherwise he would not only end up messing up his existing immigration papers (sure revocation of everything), but also he would end up being deported after serving a very long time in the state prison for committing a crime.

    It doesn't make any sense to ME that on one hand he is desperate and trying so hard to be legal over here, but on the other hand he would think to give up everything what he had planned from the ghetto by abducting his child. But again, some people do make stupid mistakes sometimes, especially men from former Soviet Union (like Armenia, where your husband is from) as they are very hotheaded.

    FBI would get involved if he would cross interstate line. And US Dept. of State along the side with FBI would also get involved if he would take your son out of US without your permission. Abduction is a very serious crime, which is a felony and a ground of 100% deportability with lifetime bar to come back to USA under any other visa.

    Yes, it is true that in order to get ˜no fault' divorce in PA, you would need to wait for 2 yrs. Right now divorce should not be the priority for you because the day you filed divorce papers, each of you are going to accumulate separate assets. That means-any asset accumulated by each involved party after filing the divorce complaint would not be subjected to distribution during divorce proceeding and be remained each person's own separate property.

    About you having withdrawn I-130 for him, then I'm not questioning whether or not you filed/withdrew this petition, rather I'm saying that you did not need to re-file this petition because you already filed this petition with USCIS when you started the fiancé visa processing for your husband. It was already approved. That's why your husband was able to obtain fiancé visa (K-1) at abroad. This petition is adjudicated only once. All you guys needed to do was just attach the approval notice of this petition along with his I-485. That's all.

    During the interview, officer would have told you guys the same thing what I'm telling you if you would have gone to AOS interview. Did you file his paperwork thru attorney or yourself? If thru an attorney, then that attorney must have been a rookie or stupid one; otherwise that attorney should have known that a new I-130 petition is not filed with I-485 for AOS for those who entered here on fiancé visa, rather applicants need to submit only the copy of previously approved I-130 along with I-485. But Affidavit of Support Form must be filed altogether.

    How long have you been married? If your marriage is less than 4 months, you might consider to amend your pending divorce petition for annulment of your marriage. If that is something interests to you then you should be claiming for annulment on the ground of immigration fraud by claiming that he defrauded you into marrying with him for the sole purpose of obtaining immigration benefit, which you knew nothing until only now. This way, he cannot get green card no matter what. And even if he gets approval on I-360 or gets full green card, everything would be revoked altogether once you would notify to USCIS about this annulment with proof of annulment decree. Because annulment means there was never been a legal marriage and he is seeking an immigration benefit based upon a LEGAL marriage to you.

    However, you must need to have convincing proof(s) for judge to make a ruling in your favor; otherwise don't be surprised if judge would dismiss this claim. Because mostly family court judges (96%) are reluctant to make an adversary ruling against immigrants on annulment claim on the basis of immigration fraud. They just don't want to get involved with immigration matter. That's why the first question they would ask him whether it would be a problem to him if marriage gets annulled. And since his attorney would surely (100 billion%) advise him to contest this ground of annulment then obviously your husband would request the judge not to annul the marriage; otherwise it would be a death warrant for his immigration thrust.

    I would like to tell you something very important and hope you would care to give it a thought at least. You need to understand that your husband might have been an abuser, user, cheater, liar, opportunist, manipulative or you name it; or he might have treated you (and your family, friend, children) very badly, unfairly, and inhumanely; or he might have dogged you out, used you systematically with planning from the ghetto and etc.etc..etc, yet still USCIS won't be involved to take any action against him if you won't provide a solid or convincing evidence to prove that he has defrauded US govt. for immigration benefit. He is being a VERY bad person, doesn't necessarily mean he has committed immigration fraud.

    I'm 100% certain that you're darn sure on your conviction on the fact that he definitely used you with careful and systematic planning to come over here, but ask yourself what do you have to prove your belief/conviction on this to US govt.? Do you honestly believe US govt. would act upon your ˜Hear say'? Without any evidence/witness, these kinds of allegations are called ˜He says-She says' in the court and don't carry any weight to prevail.

    The truth is- USCIS would need to have more than a smell of immigration fraud to play a "twist" game with him to come up to your expectations. Otherwise, don't expect anything from them. They would also need to answer to Courts as each alien appeals the case up to US District Court. Fraud is a matter of criminal investigation and the burden to prove such claim would lie upon USCIS.

    Actually USCIS position is-US govt. cannot be involved in a "mouse-cat" game with US citizens whenever US citizens wish to play it. According to them, US citizens first wish govt. to get convinced about their relationship with alien-spouse as a bona fide relationship so that govt. could grant their alien-spouse an immigration benefit, but when something goes wrong in the relationship later on, then US citizens wish govt. to deport their alien-spouse after snatching whatever immigration benefit was previously granted to alien-spouse.

    Some US citizens evem wish US govt. to change their immigration laws/rules about granting immigration benefit to alien once their relationship ends. I find it amusing without any offense. I mean-they did not complaint about the same laws and rules before. If USCIS would change their laws for immigrant-spouse, then I'm sure millions of US citizens would complaint to govt. for being unfair. Anyway, govt. doesn't work this way. US citizens cannot involve US govt. in their personal fight/differences. And, don't forget that alien also has left everything back in home to live here. It could be anything, even peace or whatever.

    I'm not saying of what is fair and what is not. If you ask about my personal opinion, then I'm in your side. I don't care what a person did because if I was dogged out by someone then I don't wish that person to dance here on my expense. Thus, I would very much like to see this person to be deported, one way or another. But the reason for me to have explained all this to you above is just so that you would know when USCIS would think to move in this kind of situation/mess. Also, I just don't want you to spend your valuable time and energy in matters, which won't bring a closure to your ordeal.

    I've noticed over and over that American women have blamed alien spouse for all the bad things that happened to them. They might be correct as they know better about their situation than anyone else. Besides, each relationship is different and unique. Thus, a relationship should be analyzed on a case-by-case basis. With that note, I'm not here to analyze anyone's case, nor I'm judging anybody. Rather I would like both parties to understand that the one and only reason for their relationship to have ended up is because of having social and cultural differences between both of them. Parties must have given a serious consideration to those differences prior to get involved to each other. I would like to point out some of these differences between American women and foreign men. Since there is always an exception, so obviously I'm not speaking for everyone. But my statements speak for majority of people.

    Actually, in other countries (non-western) people (both genders) believe that American women are the worst sinner on this earth. Medias are largely responsible for this as they show over and over Pamela Anderson walking at beach with fake bo0b, movies of Marilyn Monroe, Modonna, Paris Hilton, news about all kind of s3x scandals in America including Monica Lewinsky, women in bikini and bra-s, p0rno movies, all kind of s3x magazines, etc. I mean American women are nothing more than a s3x object for people in other countries. They judge American women based upon their own culture, morals and values; but don't seem to understand that American women are not from their countries. So obviously, these people should not expect American women to be one of them.

    In other countries (mostly Islamic countries) women don't drink (not even beer), nor they smoke unlike American women who smoke p0t and other dangerous drugs. Women in America smoke so much as if they are chewing a sweet gum. They also drink alcohol as if they are drinking tonic water. All this is a sign of a pr0stitute in other countries.

    Women in Islamic countries cover up their whole body even their eyes unlike American women who purposely prefer to show up EVERYTHING as if an exhibition is going on in the town. They leave nothing to fantasize. To them-it is a sign of womanhood, s3xiness and beauty.

    S3x is very unique and special for women in other countries unlike American women who think that s3x is casual just for a pleasure and to fulfill a body need. I remember watching a talk show-Sally Raphael show on TV a few years ago about promiscuity in America. Sally asked a 13 yrs girl why does she sleep around so much? Girl answered that she heard from other girls that every female has a hole in their body, which MUST need to be filled up.

    Women in other countries are always faithful (99.9999999999999%), while faithfulness is only a hollow and empty word for American women. They sleep around in a month with more men than they use toilet tissues in a week. Of course, I'm not talking about pr0stitues and bad women, while I'm talking about mostly women in America.

    Talking about s3x is a taboo in other countries as people never talk about it openly, but in America people talk about s3x as regularly and freely as if it is some kind of joke to spread smile on their faces. Strangly, American women share their s3x details with her children, obviously some women.

    Having a boyfrined-girlfriend relationship is very normal and acceptable America, but not in most of other countries. People believe in marriage and not in living partner or this kind of relationship like here. Here girls freely bring her boyfriend in her parents' house and comfortably enjoy s3x, but foreign women don't believe in pre-marital se-xual relationship.

    American women expect their men to treat them like a queen, fairly or equal at least while men from other countries are not raised (or designed) to treat any woman like a princess/queen or any other ways. That's why many of these men don't go down on a woman at all. Down under??? Australia. It is a pride and upper hand issue to them.

    American women don't take the craps from men unlike women from other countries who NEVER complaint even if they suffer terribly. Men from other countries believe that women must serve them every ways as a slave does, which American women don't believe in it at all. American women are very demanding in all aspect of life including satisfaction in bed unlike foreign women who don't demand anything.

    Men from other countries find themselves difficult in adjusting with American lifestyle. And they believe that womanizing is their birthright, which American women don't take it at all. But it is completely justifiable for American women to cheat and sleep around.

    Women in other countries don't sleep with father, uncle, grandfather, brother, or anyone more than 7-9 yrs older than them in general, but it is very common for American women. And, many American women do sleep with their relatives. All kinds of s-exy ideas come from America, like s-exy lingeries, s3x toys, lubrications, anything you name it, which is beyong the imagination of other countries.

    Women from other countries remain vir-gin until marriage unlike American women who believe that being a vir-gin means they are not even a woman, thus they loose their vir-ginity very happily in their pre-teen years. Extra marital affair is a life and death matter for foreign women, but it is a ˜weather change' experience for American women.

    Women from other countries sleep with only one man in their entire life no matter how abusive their men would be while American women sleep around as if they are shopping around for their undergarments. Anyone up for S3x and the City!!! And obviously, American women don't mind kicking $$$ of any man who would be abusive to them unlike foreign women.

    Foreign men prefer their women to be a "girly-girl" than like a macho woman in acts (or in looks too sometimes). Foreign women never do one-on-one woman kicking unlike in America wherein even hetros3xual women don't mind to kick another woman for something new experience or for FUN.

    Kissing openly is against other countries' social values because people in those countries believe that kissing openly in the public means as if man is impregnating a women in public, but in America it is a sign of affection which can be seen at every street corner in America.

    Other countries are primarily men dominated societies while America is primarily women dominated society. Women here do what men do in other countries, means-American women think and act exactly how men think and act in other countries when it comes to show superiority of s3x.

    The bottom line is-foreign men expect American women to be like foreign women once they get involved in a relationship with them, while American women expect foreign men to be a gentleman. American women don't settle for less AND they justify each of their acts in the name of freedom. Most of times, American women criticize and make fun of other cultures and lifestyle. But in my opinion, they seem to forget that having freedom doesn't mean they should look and act like a wh0re. Obviously, they never accept acting and behaving like wh0re.

    To be honest, unless a foreign man lives in this country for a very long time, it is very hard to expect a relationship between American women and foreign man (mainly from Islamic countries) to be last; otherwise sooner or later their relationship would end regardles because of having so much differences between them.

    The irony is-foreign women get along with American men just fine. Very rarely you would hear their break up. And, if ever a break up occurs then it would be because of American men unless foreign women are from Eastern Europe. Otherwise foreign women get customized to American lifestyle very quickly. Besides, American men enjoy morals and values of these women very much.

    My above said statements about both parties are made on the basis of my own observation, information from all sources and dealing with thousands of couples. I'm not talking for all. Also, I'm not offending anyone, rather I'm telling what differences I've PERSONALLY seen between these intra-country relationships.

    Anyway, based upon the information provided by you about your husband, it seems to me that your husband is indeed a user and abuser, who has been interested only using you for a green card than building a good family relationship. I'm sure you have been tricked out, but I don't wish to know what he did and how systematically he achieved his goals. Because I hear this everyday from many US citizen females and my heart goes out with them. It's been just too hard for me to know any more fact/tale of betrayal as I've been a victim of betrayal myself.

    Betrayal is something that I'm not good at it to deal with. I've experienced betrayal more than once. People have betrayed my trust and friendship whom I thought to be my good friends. Some of them used me until their aims were achieved. People could be that selfish and mean, it had not occured to me before. Some of these people are between us over this board. So obviously, I know what you guys are going thru. That's why I now usually focus myself in addressing only those matters that would help than providing emotional support. I used to provide emotional help and support, but lately I've been holding myself from providing any kind of emotional support as much as possible because I need emotional support for myself, which is very hard to get being a man as mostly networks for emotional supports are for female.

    Going back to your case, you would need to lay low in the meantime so that nobody would blame you for being a scorned woman. But at the same time, you should work your way up to defeat him in his own plotted game. Obviously, quietly, calculatively and patiently. So you could also say in the end that-" It is said, "patience is a virtue", and I waited tolerantly to have the opportunity to state my case."

    Treat or trick?

    Good Luck.

    "Love is generally confused with dependence; but in point of fact, you can love only in proportion to your capacity for independence."

  9. #9
    Hello Sammy

    I am a man that used to be married to a Russian woman. The marriage changed drastically once she arrived. This was on March 15th 2003. I filed for the divorce 4 months after her arrival and a few weeks later she filed DV charges on me. There were no police involved during our marriage and I have a spotless record. However there was a protective order civil trial based on a 'she said' accusation. The judge ruled that a "pushing and shoving incident" took place and I was found guilty of this on July 30th 2003.

    My then wife I believed used this 2 year protective order to stay away and probably some affidavits from her Russian friends to file a I-360 petition. She moved away and fortunately I have not seen her since.

    Since then I have made my story known on Russian women marriage boards (for American men who have Russian wives or are looking for Russian/Ukrainian women for marriage). My story of this false DV charges, my trial and divorce have been read 19,400 + times.

    Because of my notority and openess about the use an I-360 to self petition by Russian/Ukrainian women I am being contacted all the time by men who are either in the process of getting a divorce/anullment or are in trouble with false allegations by their Russian wives. I help them as much as I can by E-mailing and phone calling to give them support and guidance through these difficult times. I even get calls from men from other countries asking for help and information. At this time I am helping 3 men with Ukrainian wives who are trying to exit their marriages and avoid false allegations and possible imprisonment based on false domestic violence charges.

    Anyway I would like to introduce myself to you. I see that you have an interest in this subject and have some working experience as well. It would be great if we could talk some time. I don't know how to leave you a PM with my contact information.

    I would to say to Lau66 (Laura?) that I am sorry to hear about the terrible thing that is happening to you. I understand the extreme emotional pain at times like this. I remember my own. Please know that you are not alone. There are thousands of victims like you through out America every year. It does take some time to get over these things. But you will. Keep your faith.


  10. #10
    Hello Lani

    The message board is Russian Women Guide or .

    In order to access it you need to join. It is free and only takes a minute to join much like this site.

    My story I posted below has been looked at 19,400 + times. It happened in July of '03.

    I am glad to have found Sammy's information (Where's Sammy!?) as it confirms allot of what I had been told and further explains why the INS acts the way they do. From what I know they also have to consider the immigration appeal courts or EOIR. So it is much easier and cheaper to pass the abuse petitions through than to refuse them and be stuck arguing their decisions with the EOIR courts.

    So thank you Sammy for the last pieces of this puzzle for me.

    I am considering starting my own website in regard to using false spousal abuse charges for a getting a green card. One of subjects I want to cover is the fruitlessness of trying to get justice from the CIS (INS) and the reasons why.

    Also want to give advise on how to detect marriage scammers and legal manuvers (sp) if one is married to someone whom they suspect is only in the marriage for a green card. I have the help of a good divorce attorney and some immigation attorneys as well a Russian woman who owns a detective agency who traces these scams. And there are others I am dealing with who would be willing to help. Something has got to be done about this fraud as it cause extreme pain and injury to those who fall victim to it.

    Divorcing my RW wife

    Hello All:

    These last months have eaten me alive. I wake every morning depressed and have little energy to carry on with my life. All of this started when my wife (K3) came. I hope by posting this story I can release all of this from inside me. I ask two things, please do not move this story to the Scam section as it belongs here and not with the usual and please go easy on me folks.

    In Russia my wife was warm, affectionate and most of all kind. She would say to me "How is my honey?" and "You are my kind (man)". I looked forward to the time when she would come to me in America. While I waited I would think of her and imagine our life together. I wanted to raise her son as my own and someday he would help and eventually run my business if that was his choice.

    When the embassy sent the packet 4 and the notification letter as to the interview date I was with her there in Russia. At that time she sat me down for a serious talk. She said she was worried about her mother's living conditions and that she needed to sell the small house the one they were living in the one without hot water. I always for the the last year offered to fix the place up, put in a hot water heater and make it comfortable but it there was always an excuse from her not to.

    I told her that instead of selling the house just fix it slowly and have her mother move into the center of the city in an comfortable apartment that I will rent for her. This way she could come to me immediately. Another excuse.

    After she got her visa she hesitated about coming to me right away. She wanted to stay for at least a month and a half to help her mother. I was rather hurt that she would not come to me right away but I understood that she needed to take care of her business first.

    Then for the next week she seemed to be in no hurry to come and didn't want to talk about it. Then all of a sudden she wanted to come right away. She said she was worried about the war in Iraq and would not get on a plane after this war started. I assured her there was no problem but she remained unconvinced. So eager to get her here I ordered the tickets for a departing flight from Moscow to JFK airport.

    When she arrived I was at the airport to greet her. I expected her to rush to me. Throw her arms around me give me lots of kisses and tell me she loved me and I the same. When she came around the corner she gave me a slight smile, a quick peck of a kiss and shoved the handle of her rolling case into my hand and said "here". I was shocked. She got into the cab and sat at the far side. When she got back at the hotel she got into bed with her 7 year old son and not me.

    The sleeping "arrangement" never changed over the next four nights. When I asked her to start sleeping with me she got violently angry. Her eyes were filed with hate and she told me she would never sleep with me.

    Yes there was a coldness about her but sometimes for a moment I would see the woman that I loved back in Russia and I thought "perhaps if I was patient enough... maybe" Then after a month of this I thought maybe I had married a GCG.

    So what to do? Off to see lawyers both divorce and immigration and make statements and gather evidence.

    From the beginning she pushed me to send money to "Momma" by Western Union. The house was "sold" and the new owners were about to move in and momma needed the extra money for the newer apartment. As the money didn't come in fast enough for her my wife standing next to me at the Western Union office fumed AND looked worried.

    Over that time I was not kept informed about the progress of buying the new apartment. Only by me asking was I told that momma was still living at the "sold" house and this was two months AFTER the house "sold."

    Finally after getting a new divorce lawyer who works much faster and gets things done I filed divorce. I went to my wife one more time to tell her kindly that we can not make each other happy and are getting a divorce. She cried and stood by the door. I put my arms around her. Her arms hung limply by her side and I kissed her softly on her cheek and said "I love you. I will always love you. Goodbye" And I left.

    Later that evening I called her and asked her how she was doing. She said her body felt sick and asked me when I would call her again. I said "Tommorow". I tried calling her every day after that but nothing.

    Four days go by and I stop by some mutual Russian friends of ours. I am told that she called her Russian girl friend from her home city and who is now living here and her friend adviced her to check herself into a home for battered women and claim emotional abuse. It was all setup to where to go and this "friend" of mine drove her over there. I was told that "she WILL get her green card and eventually citizenship". "The organization" she is with "is politically powerful" and "she will get all the help she needs". Also I was told that I "need not worry about a thing" there will be "no charges against you" (True so far, 10 days and counting) and "she is not your problem" "forget about her" "Go about your business" and "Don't mention any of this to the BCIS."

    I leave to visit my friend John. I cannot be alone that night. On the way over there driving on some country roads I emotionally break down. I have never cried so hard in my life. My insides felt like they were coming out of my mouth. I am not crying for myself I am crying because I could clearly see that there are people who could do such these things with cold blood cruelty. Me emotionally abusive?! I have been walking on eggshells these months because of fear of my wife and at the advice of my attorneys and besides it is my nature not to want problems. I just want a peaceful happy life with a loving woman.

    When I got back to my apartment I noticed the caller ID and storage of names. I noticed the calls from her Russian girl friends and the calls from her friends who brought her to the shelter. I also noticed calls from a Russian man Andrey and an Hispanic man Chavez. Chavez called repeatedly never leaving a message and this was after she left. Finally I spoke to him, a young man from his voice. I told him the my wife was no longer loving here and he said "I see OK" and he has not called since.

    Finally the truth has come to me. Yes she was a GCG and her nature is not kind but selfish. But there is more. The money I sent her mother was not to buy a better apartment it was to buy ME. The people back in Russia told my wife to "stop putzing around and get to America and get our money... or else." I was a mark pure and simple to my wife. She would get her better life, they would get their money and I would be left with my pockets hanging out.

    There is more to this story than I can tell you. People in the know I have spoke to, say it is a very common story with women from the FSU. Many come with a Plan and it is executed in a cold blooded manner. If they change personalities (not just a mood change from jet lag and culture shock) and become cold and distant you got a problem. See a attorney right away and make a statement, do not do AOS, file for divorce first and document everything.

    Last edited by maxx on 07/25/03 11:42 AM, edited 1 time in total

    Your best defense is possibly the evidence that you filed for divorce of were about to before the DV charge.(pretty **** suspicious) Your second best defense is to be just as cold and heartless as she. Once you walked out you should not have spoken to her,(why do men have this NEED!) as a matter of fact filing your own restraining order prior to all this would really be a clincher. Something like this is not a condemnation of FSU women. It is more a criticism of some men who go to the FSU and make poor choices. Same as men who get taken advantage of (this includes me) by AW. The choice and ball were in your court and you chose to play. I won't belabor the point but all you can do defend yourself, be a man and be as cold and without remorse as your adversary.
    You even fell for the "don't worry we will solve this amicably" routine while she was preparing to lower the boom. (American wives do this all the time and men get "****er" punched before the bell even rings) 99.9 percent of the time DIVORCE IS WAR AND THERE AIN"T NO GENEVA CONVENTION. So figure out what you can do and do it. There may be two ways;
    1. If all she wants to do is stay, you could let her and not make trouble if she makes no demands on you and drops the DV. You WILL potentially be responsible for the child if she does not do well. I864 will kick in for him but probably not her. She may not be willing to do this and may be willing to try to take you to the cleaners so you may only have number 2.
    2. You can fight (and may have too) as hard as you can either to win or to stay out of jail. You may not know everything she has in store for you yet.

    Ron Woody MD WitchDoctor


    I went to the Sheriff's ofice to see if the papers had been delivered. They had not because the shelter she is at won't let that happen or give a living location if she has moved to the deputy. The lady clerk who told me this had a surprize for me. She handed me a restraining order. Aparently my wife has accused me of DV charges as well. The trial is this Wednsday. She wants spousal maintance and health insurance. Strange as it is mixed with a restraining order.

    Of course all her charges are untrue and the statements she claims I made sound like something a Cave Man would say Quote: "I haven't had *** for four days. I am going to kill myself" Then he kept repeating on and on in a rage. "I have not had *** in four days, four days. You have broken my dreams."

    The good news is she has no proof of anything before my filing. She may get some false witnesses though. I will let you guess there Nationality. This is a nightmare for me. To the Godly out there pray for me. I need it. My attorney says we have a 80% probability of winning this one if she doesn't get some witnesses to lie for her. I would have to say that they will say I neglected her and didn't give her any money (how about the $3800 sent to her and later her mother in 8 'easy' payments).

    I will keep you posted.

    Maxx posted his story here, not only as a catharsis for himself, but as a caution to the rest of us. We must learn from this and take steps to keep this kind of activity from becoming an epidemic.

    First, I think American judges need to be better educated and alerted to the false charges of DV that RWs are making every day across this country. This board is only the tip of the iceberg, I'm sure.

    Second, American men need a contingency plan in case they have rolled the dice and they come up "snake eyes"! What if, in spite of red flags, many of which we only acknowledge after the fact, a WM finds himself with a GCG or worse? He should go into a emergency mode to prevent what happened to Shane and others and now Maxx.

    What would be the components of that emergency plan? Let's kick around some ideas....

    The first part of that plan would be to resist the temptation to marry in her country, and, it seems to me, marrying later in the 90-day K-1 period could be wise as well. A friend of mine brought his fiancee here on a K1 and she behaved just like Maxx's wife as soon as she landed. Fortunately, my friend was able to send her home within the same week...potential catastrophe averted. But it wasn't easy for him and he used a lot of his brainpower and the police to accomplish it.

    Once marriage occurs it would seem seeking annulment on the basis of fraud and misrepresentation would make more sense than divorce.

    Also, filing for Adjustment of Status should be delayed as long as possible. I think Shane Neff's problems started the day he filed for the AOS. The delays may not be a fool-proof protection but they can serve to help smoke out any malintentions and bad actors. GCGs have a limit to how long they can keep up the act.

    Once the GCG thinks she's out of the woods, she will tip her hand, and the man needs to remain calm and begin to do a little acting himself. He needs to continue to appear naive. He could surprise her with a family vacation to see her family and to avoid suspicion he should buy a ticket for himself and go along. Once back in FSU He can pretend to run to the store or go for a walk and instead grab a taxi to the airport and fly home - alone.

    Using the legal system will not produce the same cost effective results (and can often produce catastrophic results). Men must be creative and inventive if they are to protect themselves.

    Police often use sting operations to catch the bad guys. We have counter-terrorism plans in place and operations are ongoing.
    WM need to use similar tactics to prevent and thwart the heartless GCG's ruthless and destructive schemes should we find that we are a mark.

    I hope others will contribute ideas. No one going through this process is ever totally safe.


    Last edited by ronnie on 07/28/03 07:57 AM, edited 3 times in total

    Hey Max,

    While Foxes advice to grab a breath of fresh air is good for the short must stay focused and you must move FAST!

    It is obivous that your wife is wasting no time.....she is now being advised by the true Russian scammers....and these people know success stories of skirting the law.....PLUS she has the misguided aid of the DV shelters. I understand that often and most times they are helping and serving a real need....but unfortunatly they are most likely unaware of this common and often reported DV scam with these VISA women.

    You must know how truely serious this is for you and the fact that she had a PFA order ready and waiting for you...and to have the shelter people hand it over, yet at the same time refusing to take the divorce papers should indicate to you that you are about to be ucked in a major way.

    I agree with Doc that you need a shark and a fast moving shark. Get the papers filed and strike hard and fast to get her sent back to the hell she deserves.

    Gather all the info you can on this typical scam used by RW/UW...the ABUSE SCAM...gather it all up....print it all out and get into the hands of your lawyer....the first hearing often sets the tone for the whole case and you dont want to be playing catch up on this one.

    Remember ...a judge often looks at a case first off by who threw their hat into the ring first...who brought charges.....its better if its you and not her....

    Good luck


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