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Thread: LPR husband can't get letters needed for I751

  1. #1
    No big surprise!!!! suppose to file the I751
    at the end of August. Big problem (another one)
    no US citizen wants to write a letter regarding
    his bona fide marital regime! Another point,
    none of his "native speaking friends" want to
    write either, because they know he has been wrong in his actions!!! so, he says, "i can go home", (his country), get a job elsewhere, or do what I want."
    of course, if it is not filed, he will be
    called in to find out why it was not filed!
    I have tried to help him, I have done everything
    I can. If a guy, just doesn't realize the value
    of what he has. Then he loses it.
    The ball has been in his court, the proof
    is with him. He is truly amazing in a very
    sad way.

  2. #2
    No big surprise!!!! suppose to file the I751
    at the end of August. Big problem (another one)
    no US citizen wants to write a letter regarding
    his bona fide marital regime! Another point,
    none of his "native speaking friends" want to
    write either, because they know he has been wrong in his actions!!! so, he says, "i can go home", (his country), get a job elsewhere, or do what I want."
    of course, if it is not filed, he will be
    called in to find out why it was not filed!
    I have tried to help him, I have done everything
    I can. If a guy, just doesn't realize the value
    of what he has. Then he loses it.
    The ball has been in his court, the proof
    is with him. He is truly amazing in a very
    sad way.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    East Hampton [Long Island], New York [USA]
    Posts
    812
    nireehamdi:

    What is going on? We haven't heard from you for a while unless I missed your latest postings. From your postings on other immigration sites, I came to know that you are from New Orleans, wherein the Hurricane Katrina came in the end of August. And since then we haven't heard from you on other sites as well. Are you okay? I hope so.

    You sound very kind, caring, attentive and well-patience person; otherwise mostly women don't take that much cr-aps from their men. I totally understand why you are still taking all these pain and suffering from your husband. It is all about the Love. As I've said more than once that Love is an obsession. It is a disease, a grave mental one. Been there, done that. Because of this disease, I myself ended up in a hospital. So obviously I do understand that it is so hard to completely forget someone whom you loved so dearly. I wish I had learned something from my favorite show-S-ex and the City' before falling madly in love with my ex. This way I had not taken my ex as seriously as I took her. It hurts to break up with someone who has become your breaths and heartbeats.

    Always remember: "The greatest enemy of the truth is very often not the lie-deliberate, contrived and dishonest-but the myth-persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."-John F. Kennedy

    Since I don't wish you to go thru the same pain and suffering in the end that I went thru because of loving my ex so madly, then I've put together a brief "Survival Plan" for people like you who are infected with this grave disease. And I'm sure this will work just fine for those who were/are used by someone. So here it goes:

    [1] MAKE A LIST of everything your ex did to you that was awful. Put it next to your bed and read upon arising, and going to sleep, and post one by the phone.

    [2] Take the list and fast forward into the future five or ten years. You've had that much more abuse to process, and wasted that much more time on someone who DOES NOT CARE ENOUGH TO TREAT YOU DECENTLY.

    [3] You've wasted that much more time on what you know to be a losing battle, when you could have been out living a FUN-FILLED, LOVING LIFE instead of TIRED, USELESS DRAMA THAT SAPS YOUR LIFE'S ENERGY!

    [4] Imagine him reeling you in again to use you for something; an excuse to fail, empty s-ex, verbal abuse, garbage can for his anger, etc. Now, feel the crash; the crushing realization that YOU FELL FOR IT AGAIN, and it was YOU who walked into it, asking for an emotional beating. Now, open your eyes and feel the relief that you still have the power to change this ugly destiny.

    [5] Imagine being going thru with a fatal trauma as a result of the INCREDIBLE STRESS this person has put you through FOREVER....... FOR WHAT???? You should know that stress can cause skin cancer...think about how much he would enjoy your disfigurement as an ego boost for his pathetic power issues and games.

    [6] Imagine a world where your love is treasured, your soul protected, your trust well kept, your heart adored. REALIZE THAT CAN'T HAPPEN HERE WITH HIM. After all, you are not an amnesiac! Your mind my want to forget, but your body remembers every deathblow he dealt you...carelessly, without guilt.

    [7] Think of all the times you did your best for him, yet it's not good enough, because he was entitled to the perfect human partner, rather than a live human being.

    [8] Remember your foolish, and dream of love and what it would be like, feel like, look like... Was it ANYTHING like THIS?

    [9] Remember all the times he made you angry and you had to swallow it, rather than make more waves. Remember the feeling of betraying yourself for his approval or acceptance. Anger is an immune response...see it as your savior.

    [10] Think of how easy it is for him to walk away. Think of it as a *save your own life* plan. The day will come that you will not believe such painful and ridiculous measures were necessary to save your life from such a small, pathetic person. You can worry about forgiving HIM later. FORGIVE yourself NOW, for making the mistake of him! Think of all the great times you will have with someone who really wants you and is not afraid to be a MAN and admit it, own it, rejoice in it, savor it, respect it.

    [11] Always remember: "He is not a lover who does not love forever."-Euripides

    I hope this brings you strength. Since you are not going to hear from me anymore, I hope someone will guide you in a right direction next time when you would ask something than criticizing you.

    Take care and stay safe. God Bless you! You are really a nice woman.

    "Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties"-Julie Renard

  4. #4
    Can you private message me... I don't know
    how to do it.

  5. #5
    Nireemdi

    How have you been my dear. Hope you have decided to stop being in that pain you have been living.

    Stop tormenting yourself. The letters not being able to be gotten are not a big deal at all. Many applications get submitted and approved without the letters. Do not think that this is going let you have a hold over him. Please give up on this idea. I am hoping that you are not considering holding the signing of the 751 over his head to get him to come back to you. This would not be cool and does not look good on you. If you are not going to sign it... then dont and file for the divorce. This is not a bartering tool for a relationship.


    He has many more youthful years ahead, while yours will start to wane away, the best ones having been wasted on this clown. Please let it go.

    Sammy has given you wonderful kind words, and a wonderful guide that you should follow. Obsession is an outdated fragance these days.. let it be the same for you.

    Take care 4now.

  6. #6
    No, I'm not holding anything over his head at all.
    As he couldn't get any letters (that says alot)
    I asked my son and housekeeper for 1. They didn't
    want to do either. But did for me. Sammy's
    thoughts are wonderful. He is 1 for the books.
    a classic h....a... I'd say. he doesn't even
    speak...and hasn't. I don't really care at all. In fact, he has to be on one **** of a guilt trip. He has lied so much to both sides of this life. Hiswork authorization is extended for 1 year, on the I-797-C. He believes there will be no interview to remove. He does not want to go
    to this, I don't blame him. Neither do I. It wouldn't be good at all. If we have to do the
    interview...and we no show. I'm sure we will
    receive something asking why? so...to me,
    he is a sorrowful person. I hope this haunts
    him for the rest of his life. He will deserve
    it. It would be irony if his friend met a US
    citizen and married him! This would be funny.
    So...the nothing is definitely nothing...on
    our parts. I have been getting my act together...I've grown up. Bout time, I am
    not a vendictative person at all, nor ugly....
    I could be. But i'm not. So, I'm at a good
    point within my self now. It has been hard,
    hurtful..and everything....but I have grown up.

  7. #7
    I've tried to sign up for private messaging..
    I can't seem to get it to work. I follow the
    directions...but it doesn't happen.

  8. #8
    Hi, nireehamdi!

    I noticed you've been asking about private messaging in your last postings.
    I felt compelled to let you know that this web site does not allow private messaging, that is, you cannot private message to anyone through this site.
    If you want to contact a person from this site, you could do that through e-mail.
    If you want to contact Sammy, I still have his e-mail address: sammy7257@msn.com
    Hope this e-mail address is still good and I that he won't mind I'm giving his e-mail address to you.
    He helped a with my immigration case and I believe he could help you,too.

    Good Luck!

  9. #9
    We are schedule for I751 interview. Since filing
    in september, he has not spoken to me. That's
    okey.....i've grown up and away and this is good.
    I will not be going to this interview. He has
    brought all on himself. He knows how to talk
    when doing petitions. 2 friends did letters 4
    him, (they did not want to) because I asked them. He isn't even appreciative of that....so..
    ...whatever he does...is his game... not mine...
    i'm not putting all that I have and risk it for
    someone....who is not worth it. Everything I
    have is on the line! I have tried, I have put
    up with all of his ugliness.....I'm sure
    his outside girlfriend has alot to do with it...
    that's okey too........I have rolled with everything, I have asked for respect and doing
    for our side....to help us....his "not caring"
    and that's okey too....he has become his own
    worst enemy....and dug his own grave.....me...
    I'm moving on...... I have put in all....and
    deserved more than nothing....he put in nothing
    and he is getting exactly that. I am ashamed of
    him.....he certainly had it all....... I have
    taken it all....

  10. #10
    Nireehamdi,

    I have read many of your posts and I am sorry that you had to go through this. I wish you well and hope you will find peace and happiness in whatever you do.

    As far as your ex is concerned, you can't control what he does or what happens to him.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Best wishes,

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