ILW.COM - the immigration portal Immigration Daily

Home Page


Immigration Daily

Archives

Processing times

Immigration forms

Discussion board

Resources

Blogs

Twitter feed

Immigrant Nation

Attorney2Attorney

CLE Workshops

Immigration books

Advertise on ILW

VIP Network

EB-5

移民日报

About ILW.COM

Connect to us

Make us Homepage

Questions/Comments


SUBSCRIBE



The leading
immigration law
publisher - over
50000 pages of
free information!
Copyright
1995-
ILW.COM,
American
Immigration LLC.

Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

  1. #1
    Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road


    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
    first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
    after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is
    help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT"
    problems before adding "NEW" problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
    wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
    from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
    give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
    not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
    the chicken crossing the road.

    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was ***! Can't you people see the plain truth in
    front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
    why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is ***.
    And if you eat that chicken, you will become *** too. I say we boycott
    all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
    whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
    chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as
    that!

    HANS BLIX
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
    eyes and the way he walks.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
    having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was an historic inevitability.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just witnessed eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads,
    but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken!

    THE BIBLE
    And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
    THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the
    road, and there was much rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS
    Did I miss one?

  2. #2
    Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road


    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
    first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
    after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is
    help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT"
    problems before adding "NEW" problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
    wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
    from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
    give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
    not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
    the chicken crossing the road.

    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was ***! Can't you people see the plain truth in
    front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
    why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is ***.
    And if you eat that chicken, you will become *** too. I say we boycott
    all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
    whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
    chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as
    that!

    HANS BLIX
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
    eyes and the way he walks.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
    having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was an historic inevitability.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just witnessed eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads,
    but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken!

    THE BIBLE
    And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
    THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the
    road, and there was much rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS
    Did I miss one?

  3. #3

  4. #4
    Why did the chicken cross the road (According to):

    STAR TREK - Bones: **** it Jim, I'm a doctor not a veterinarian! How the hell should I know why the chicken crossed the road?
    Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
    Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.



    There was a man driving down the highway going about 55 miles per hour when this chicken with three legs began running beside him. He decided to speed up to 65 miles per hour, but the chicken stayed right beside him. So he sped up to 75 miles per hour, but still the chicken stayed with him. He came up to a fork in the road and the three-legged chicken went left and ran into a farm yard. Curious, the man decided to investigate so he pulled up to the farm and got out of his car. He noticed that the yard was full of three-legged chickens running around at high speeds. Still curious, the man went up and knocked on the door of the house and the farmer came out. The man asked the farmer, "How did you get all these three-legged chickens?" "Well," the farmer stated, "I have a family of three, and we all like the drumsticks, so I decided to engineer some chickens with three legs so everyone is happy." "How do they taste?" the man asked. "Well," the farmer said, "don't know, haven't been able to catch one yet."

  5. #5

  6. #6
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">THE BIBLE
    And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
    THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the
    road, and there was much rejoicing. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    So how the hell do they keep crossing the border and landing in the yards of America?
    Wolves Travel In Packs
    ____________________

Similar Threads

  1. OH NO!! CHICKEN WITH CHICKEN POX!!!!
    By explora in forum Immigration Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-08-2007, 04:49 PM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-07-2007, 07:06 PM
  3. Another ***p in the road
    By chuck in forum Immigration Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-20-2007, 10:09 PM
  4. At the cross-road of my LIFE!!
    By Mo in forum Immigration Discussion
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-09-2004, 06:36 AM
  5. road blocks
    By mohgonyimport in forum Immigration Discussion
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-07-2004, 08:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Put Free Immigration Law Headlines On Your Website

Immigration Daily: the news source for legal professionals. Free! Join 35000+ readers Enter your email address here: