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Thread: Duped into marriage for visa...

  1. #1
    This is a looooong story but I will try to make it quick...
    I met my now wife in Argentina in 1991, we spent 4 years together there until in 1995 I found she was cheating and we split up. I came back to the states and she remained there. In 02 I wen't back, found her spent time with her and came back... In 03 I went back, we hung out and she cheated on her fiance of 6 years with me... He found out and left her, and I came back to the states.. In dec 04 I traveled back and spent three months with her and decided we would try and get a k-1 visa.... This whole time we spent either in bed, or arguing about strange phone calls and disappearances... (basically she would disappear for a while and come back with no definitive answer as to where she had been)... I started the k-1 process and came back in march of 05... In 2 weeks I traveled back and stayed for a week while I helped her get her passport, then I flew back 3 weeks later for 3 weeks while we waited I kept having problems with her with guys calling and it was always a "cousin"... Again, I knew her when she was young and thought she would change once married... I came back and finally went back to Argentina june 14 of 05 and stayed until her visa was granted in september of 05.... During which time we had several arguments about a "*** cousin" who she had invited to MY friends house by the Andes mountains when she had no right to do since it was our time together at my friends house... And she spoke to him like she was there alone... I let it pass after she swore to me that was it and we came here, filed all the paperwork and got married within the time line and immediately I started seeing a pattern in her ways... She left her hotmail account open one day and I snooped around only to find her messages to the same "cousin" talking about how she would like him to visit her in the US. So I sent him an e-mail and he came clean... They were bed buddies, but nothing more, he told me good luck but I was going to be destroyed by this girl if I loved her because she did it to him, and everyone else around her... He told me he wanted nothing to do with her and that she kept sending him unwanted invitations after he told her to leave him alone... We again had a big argument about her "cousin" and she came clean and told me the truth and promised to stop with the lies...
    Now, after 3 years of being married, she let her work permit expire and re applied for it and got it. our papers are at a standstill since the first work permit was issued to her.
    Reason being is that one night we had a few glasses of wine and she told me the real reason I was suspecting. Her mother owned a brothel and she worked in it but says she collected money only... I had to take a long drive and think about this new information.. Well, I knew something weird was going on, and I imagined it but I decided to try and change her...
    This is the deal... I feel cheated, I feel she duped me into bringing her here so she could do whatever she wants without me...
    Also, she proceeded to inform me that her mother was arrested and is CURRENTLY serving probation in Argentina for prostitution and running a brothel and my wife was even brought in for questioning but later released because she paid her dues... All this happened while she was still in Argentina.
    Now, she lies about everything, she hides the phone, she leaves with the car, with no driver's license and expired tag since the car is in her name I don't see the point in doing everything for her... I even had to find out where she disapeared to one night from one of her co workers and go get her at 7am to some apartment where I found her passed out in the middle of the living room drunk and some other people sleeping in a couch and the kitchen as well....
    I've since asked her if she would be willing to go for a divorce and be done, and she replied she want's $10,000 to go back to Argentina, otherwise she will file for mental abuse, get the papers and stay here whether "I like it or not"

    She has become my worst nightmare since then. she works but I never know what she makes, she never filed for taxes in 2 years although she gets checks from her waitressing job, she comes and goes as she pleases, goes to wortk dressed up and claims she changes there, refuses to answer the phone when I call only to send me a text message saying she is getting her nails done and can't come to the phone... And the blatant lies.... OH MY GOOOOD.... You could have CNN filming her putting a phone down on the table and when you ask her if she put that there she will deny it and would rather die than tell the truth even as the video is playing back. She is bulimic and her father left her mother at a young age, her mother was always a working woman and I think she has severe emotional problems and it has rubbed off on me, I feel like I can't tell the truth from an obvious lie anymore, be it what it may.

    If anyone can understand this desperate plea for help please let me know what my best course of action would be... I don't care if she stays or goes so long as she leaves me alone and stays out of my life even though I will always love the 18 year old girl I fell in love with when I was 22 I just don't know how to handle this anymore.
    Please don't get me wrong either, I would never hurt myself or her... I just need to hear some good advice.

  2. #2
    This is a looooong story but I will try to make it quick...
    I met my now wife in Argentina in 1991, we spent 4 years together there until in 1995 I found she was cheating and we split up. I came back to the states and she remained there. In 02 I wen't back, found her spent time with her and came back... In 03 I went back, we hung out and she cheated on her fiance of 6 years with me... He found out and left her, and I came back to the states.. In dec 04 I traveled back and spent three months with her and decided we would try and get a k-1 visa.... This whole time we spent either in bed, or arguing about strange phone calls and disappearances... (basically she would disappear for a while and come back with no definitive answer as to where she had been)... I started the k-1 process and came back in march of 05... In 2 weeks I traveled back and stayed for a week while I helped her get her passport, then I flew back 3 weeks later for 3 weeks while we waited I kept having problems with her with guys calling and it was always a "cousin"... Again, I knew her when she was young and thought she would change once married... I came back and finally went back to Argentina june 14 of 05 and stayed until her visa was granted in september of 05.... During which time we had several arguments about a "*** cousin" who she had invited to MY friends house by the Andes mountains when she had no right to do since it was our time together at my friends house... And she spoke to him like she was there alone... I let it pass after she swore to me that was it and we came here, filed all the paperwork and got married within the time line and immediately I started seeing a pattern in her ways... She left her hotmail account open one day and I snooped around only to find her messages to the same "cousin" talking about how she would like him to visit her in the US. So I sent him an e-mail and he came clean... They were bed buddies, but nothing more, he told me good luck but I was going to be destroyed by this girl if I loved her because she did it to him, and everyone else around her... He told me he wanted nothing to do with her and that she kept sending him unwanted invitations after he told her to leave him alone... We again had a big argument about her "cousin" and she came clean and told me the truth and promised to stop with the lies...
    Now, after 3 years of being married, she let her work permit expire and re applied for it and got it. our papers are at a standstill since the first work permit was issued to her.
    Reason being is that one night we had a few glasses of wine and she told me the real reason I was suspecting. Her mother owned a brothel and she worked in it but says she collected money only... I had to take a long drive and think about this new information.. Well, I knew something weird was going on, and I imagined it but I decided to try and change her...
    This is the deal... I feel cheated, I feel she duped me into bringing her here so she could do whatever she wants without me...
    Also, she proceeded to inform me that her mother was arrested and is CURRENTLY serving probation in Argentina for prostitution and running a brothel and my wife was even brought in for questioning but later released because she paid her dues... All this happened while she was still in Argentina.
    Now, she lies about everything, she hides the phone, she leaves with the car, with no driver's license and expired tag since the car is in her name I don't see the point in doing everything for her... I even had to find out where she disapeared to one night from one of her co workers and go get her at 7am to some apartment where I found her passed out in the middle of the living room drunk and some other people sleeping in a couch and the kitchen as well....
    I've since asked her if she would be willing to go for a divorce and be done, and she replied she want's $10,000 to go back to Argentina, otherwise she will file for mental abuse, get the papers and stay here whether "I like it or not"

    She has become my worst nightmare since then. she works but I never know what she makes, she never filed for taxes in 2 years although she gets checks from her waitressing job, she comes and goes as she pleases, goes to wortk dressed up and claims she changes there, refuses to answer the phone when I call only to send me a text message saying she is getting her nails done and can't come to the phone... And the blatant lies.... OH MY GOOOOD.... You could have CNN filming her putting a phone down on the table and when you ask her if she put that there she will deny it and would rather die than tell the truth even as the video is playing back. She is bulimic and her father left her mother at a young age, her mother was always a working woman and I think she has severe emotional problems and it has rubbed off on me, I feel like I can't tell the truth from an obvious lie anymore, be it what it may.

    If anyone can understand this desperate plea for help please let me know what my best course of action would be... I don't care if she stays or goes so long as she leaves me alone and stays out of my life even though I will always love the 18 year old girl I fell in love with when I was 22 I just don't know how to handle this anymore.
    Please don't get me wrong either, I would never hurt myself or her... I just need to hear some good advice.

  3. #3
    Welcome to ILW, Cagado. There are a few here who have been in similar situations and will be able to help.

    I have to ask first - what is your wife's current status? Given that she's applied for work permits, it sounds as if she doesn't have conditional or permanent residency? Is there a reason for the delay in that?
    **************************************
    The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it - Plutarch

  4. #4
    Divorce her immediately; once a cheater always a cheater

  5. #5
    I agree with both Davdah and SOM (for once), though I think the OP has a concern over VAWA with the statement that she wants money to go back to Argentina or she'll file for mental abuse and get her papers, which is why I felt it important to establish her current status, to see if there was any validity or merit.

    I'd also recommend, Cagado, that you document her threats regarding the money etc, and also that you do not engage in any confrontations or arguments with her, even if she attempts to instigate them.
    **************************************
    The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it - Plutarch

  6. #6
    Aroha... She has a work permit and a social security "for work only" Nothing else has been done, at least on my part. The delay is because I lost all interest in doing anything more with her. I don't even want to have kids, go out, hang out, or anything else with her, let alone having *** since I got an image now of her working in a brothel I can't get rid of.
    Since she told me about the mental abuse, I am afraid to divorce her anyways because she may stick me for life with an "abuser" charge, if I want her to go back, she wants 10 grand, if I leave she will get me for abandonment. I feel trapped. She never adjusted her status, all she cares about is money, so she only renewed her work permit to be able to get another alcohol license to keep working. I think there should be stiff penalties against women who risk ruining some guys life just to get their way, but of course we all know that will never be the case.
    I think she may be going to a latino help place where she is getting told what to do and how to do it...
    I can get the investigation papers on her, and her mother's conviction from the Buenos Aires Federal Police if needed showing she lied on the visa applications about never being involved in prostitution also.

  7. #7
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Aroha:

    I'd also recommend, Cagado, that you document her threats regarding the money etc, and also that you do not engage in any confrontations or arguments with her, even if she attempts to instigate them. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I got the text message she sent me today while I was working about the ten grand...

  8. #8
    I have been trying to keep her happy... I even mentioned we could go to the Bahamas, which she thinks are part of the US... WHat can happen upon returning from there, having no adjustment of status and no temporary residence?

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by davdah:
    It seems you have the evidence you need. Prostitution is on of those crimes that will get her an instant boot out the back door. Read up on crimes of moral turpitude and inadmisability. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    The apartments where the brothel was located were in her name. I got the exact address and old phone numbers.
    The cops came one day and arrested a bunch of people and her mother, my wife wasn't there. She was asked to come in for questioning but she claims she didn't know what was going on and was released after paying some "dues". Her mother is currently serving out probation and community service for that.

  9. #9
    Yeah... just a work permit and a work social...

    Also, after an argument last year I mentioned a text message she sent me and shw said she would say that I sent it from her phone to make it look like she did it... She is a MONSTER liar... Look up LIE in a dictionary and her name will be the description...

  10. #10
    Yes, being involved in prostitution is one of those moral turpitude crimes that will see you not being allowed entry. It's asked specifically on the DS-230 Part II, which you swear to in front of a consular official at the interview. She's committed immigration fraud, without a doubt.

    I'm curious on what grounds her work permit was extended, considering it sounds as if she's violated the terms of the K1 visa. You got married within the 90 days, yes, but if her status was never adjusted and she never got a green card, she is technically out of status and is illegal.

    Keep that text message, Cagado and take it to a lawyer. Find out what action you should take towards getting her out of your house and protecting yourself while starting divorce proceedings. Again, I stress the importance of not playing any games or submitting to any confrontations. Under VAWA, she needs to provide evidence - don't give her any (assuming she's eligible for that given her status). Also, pay a visit to USCIS, armed with the text message.
    **************************************
    The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it - Plutarch

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