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Thread: "Confessions of an Inflamed Hemorrhoid " (OP new revised)

  1. #1
    <span class="ev_code_RED"> Revised and more Reveling </span>

    In this post I will do the unimaginable, and expose my deepest and most personal inner self. I do this because I have re-discovered another side to my personality, one who is not afraid of a little rejection and criticism.

    When I was a young boy it became apparent to me, that I was born with superior intellect. As many of you know, I have pointed this fact out on too many occasions only to be constantly proven right. By the age of four, I was studying astronomy, music, and art at least 11 years ahead of my peers. As I grew I lived in a diametric world, where my brain and body were in disaccord.

    As a boy I was pudgy (today I‘m grotesquely obese, just like my man Limbaugh), and had a face like a pug dog with acne. I didn’t develop in a normal way, or experience a normal puberty. My genitals simply did not grow, instead I developed a bad case of gynecomastia in my right (republican) breast. This caused me to develop an inferiority complex, that was further complicated by my existing left (democratic) superiority complex.

    All of this triggered a diametric disharmony within my personality. I sought medical help, only to be rudely ridiculed by my snickering (libertarian) doctor. Yes, I took the testosterone injections!! No it didn’t increase my penal size!!! What it did do was make me hairy and horrnee. I grew hair everywhere, on my face, chest, legs, and even on my back. Yes, it turned me into a real life troll, literally! Maybe I should be called TrolE instead of OldE?

    Subsequently, my head went bald. All of this artificial testosterone also fueled my se-x drive, but unfortunately I didn’t have the equipment to fornicate. I paid money to professional girls & boys.... only to be ridiculed further and embarrassed to the point of near suicide. This strange dichotomy molded me into the perfect ahole. So, since I couldn’t fukk and was already the perfect ahole, why not immigrate to the US? All of my defects and shortcomings actually were a benefit to my immigration case. The more fukkked up you are, the easier it is to obtain the proverbial Green Card. That’s the secret!!!!

    When I got state side, I discovered ILW and my new love & superhero SonofMichael. I became fanatical about SOM, and became his #1 strawboy. He was my leader and idol, I agreed with everything he said even when he was blatantly wrong. Basically I am a farm animal by nature, with two distinct personalities.

    On May 19 2008 I departed from my usual strawboy routine, and started an off topic thread called “Let's listen to something nice now,” To my surprise and delight, it became a hit!!! It is still to this day, the number #1 thread on ILW!!!! I beat SOM!!! I made many new friends, I temporally stopped bullying the people that SOM used to bully. I had my own life and my own identity!!! I was the clown, and the star of ILW!!!

    But like every hit, it waned. I tried to keep it going by relentlessly posting redundant video after video, but the interest was gone. Now what? It’s 2010 and my idol SOM has left ILW. So, I made the decision to become the new ILWAhole. Yes, I would dominate the site, spend enormous amounts of my time and energy inflicting my relentless propaganda upon all who visited the site. I would post my advice and opinions on virtually every thread, even when I didn’t know what I was talking about.

    Whereas SOM depicted Obama as a monkey, I have copied the same tried and proven formula with Rush Limbaugh, in case you haven’t noticed? I became TOTALLY OBSESSED with Limbaugh.

    As my hormonal imbalance steadily increased, I found myself becoming more, and more physically attracted to Rush. Often waking up in the night in a small pool of semen right next to my Rush doll.... I wanted so much to be like Rush that I started to emulate his behavior. Soon I was addicted to the same drugs as my Rush. I even went to the same pharmacies, so that my drugs came from the same batch and bottle as his. I was very sick. I remember a prescription for 50 tablets of Lorcet was filled for Limbaugh at the Zitomer Pharmacy on Madison Avenue in New York. The tablets were to be taken at a rate of two a day, and at that pace the prescription should have lasted 25 days. Three days later, a prescription was filled for Limbaugh at the same pharmacy for another 50 tablets. A third prescription for 96 tablets of Norco was filled about the same time at the Lewis Pharmacy in Palm Beach. I copied the same regime.

    Limbaugh getting busted is what made me snap!!! I thought he was God, and I copied his every move. I even set up a suto microphone on a table under my troll bridge, emulating my Rush. Then suddenly, he was reduced to a squirming suuckball begging for forgiveness. I lost the love of my life that day!!! I began to hate Rush.

    I became a democrat, just to spit in his face. Go back to the archives and read my old posts. You’ll see, I switched my persuasion. That’s when my ego and alter-ego became severe adversaries. I would now and forever FIGHT RUSH LIMBAUGH!!!!

    From that day on, everything I said incorporated anti-Limbaugh BS, I ate Limbaugh’s Hot Dogs, and drank Limbaugh’s Milk too long!!!

    So last week, in the middle of the night, I drank 2 full bottles of Ex-Lax attempting to get rid of that nasty Limbaugh blow up BS Hot Rush Dog. Then, suddenly....... I crapped out that bad Rush Dog!!!

    Actually the dog Rushed out too quick, and that’s what caused the “Inflamed Hemorrhoid”, poor me. Anyway, my mind was finally clear… That's when my alter-ego OldE emerged. He's the honest side of me.

    Yes, there has been much speculation as to whom the other OldE really is? I even tried to blame it on 4now. But it’s me. Yup, I’m doing all this to myself for disciplinary reasons. I’m actually weaning myself off that nasty Rush Dog!!

    I’d like to take this opportunity to personally apologize to anyone I may not have offended with my bad side. Among those who are not owed my humble apologies are 4now, iperson, federale86, unique, brit4064, houston, proudusc, and everyone else. I promise that in the future, if my bad side should misbehave and insult anyone, I will discipline and punish myself by exposing nude photos of myself for public ridicule. (comming soon)


    E
    http://www.anbsoft.com/images/usflag_med.jpg

    "...I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit

  2. #2
    <span class="ev_code_RED"> Revised and more Reveling </span>

    In this post I will do the unimaginable, and expose my deepest and most personal inner self. I do this because I have re-discovered another side to my personality, one who is not afraid of a little rejection and criticism.

    When I was a young boy it became apparent to me, that I was born with superior intellect. As many of you know, I have pointed this fact out on too many occasions only to be constantly proven right. By the age of four, I was studying astronomy, music, and art at least 11 years ahead of my peers. As I grew I lived in a diametric world, where my brain and body were in disaccord.

    As a boy I was pudgy (today I‘m grotesquely obese, just like my man Limbaugh), and had a face like a pug dog with acne. I didn’t develop in a normal way, or experience a normal puberty. My genitals simply did not grow, instead I developed a bad case of gynecomastia in my right (republican) breast. This caused me to develop an inferiority complex, that was further complicated by my existing left (democratic) superiority complex.

    All of this triggered a diametric disharmony within my personality. I sought medical help, only to be rudely ridiculed by my snickering (libertarian) doctor. Yes, I took the testosterone injections!! No it didn’t increase my penal size!!! What it did do was make me hairy and horrnee. I grew hair everywhere, on my face, chest, legs, and even on my back. Yes, it turned me into a real life troll, literally! Maybe I should be called TrolE instead of OldE?

    Subsequently, my head went bald. All of this artificial testosterone also fueled my se-x drive, but unfortunately I didn’t have the equipment to fornicate. I paid money to professional girls & boys.... only to be ridiculed further and embarrassed to the point of near suicide. This strange dichotomy molded me into the perfect ahole. So, since I couldn’t fukk and was already the perfect ahole, why not immigrate to the US? All of my defects and shortcomings actually were a benefit to my immigration case. The more fukkked up you are, the easier it is to obtain the proverbial Green Card. That’s the secret!!!!

    When I got state side, I discovered ILW and my new love & superhero SonofMichael. I became fanatical about SOM, and became his #1 strawboy. He was my leader and idol, I agreed with everything he said even when he was blatantly wrong. Basically I am a farm animal by nature, with two distinct personalities.

    On May 19 2008 I departed from my usual strawboy routine, and started an off topic thread called “Let's listen to something nice now,” To my surprise and delight, it became a hit!!! It is still to this day, the number #1 thread on ILW!!!! I beat SOM!!! I made many new friends, I temporally stopped bullying the people that SOM used to bully. I had my own life and my own identity!!! I was the clown, and the star of ILW!!!

    But like every hit, it waned. I tried to keep it going by relentlessly posting redundant video after video, but the interest was gone. Now what? It’s 2010 and my idol SOM has left ILW. So, I made the decision to become the new ILWAhole. Yes, I would dominate the site, spend enormous amounts of my time and energy inflicting my relentless propaganda upon all who visited the site. I would post my advice and opinions on virtually every thread, even when I didn’t know what I was talking about.

    Whereas SOM depicted Obama as a monkey, I have copied the same tried and proven formula with Rush Limbaugh, in case you haven’t noticed? I became TOTALLY OBSESSED with Limbaugh.

    As my hormonal imbalance steadily increased, I found myself becoming more, and more physically attracted to Rush. Often waking up in the night in a small pool of semen right next to my Rush doll.... I wanted so much to be like Rush that I started to emulate his behavior. Soon I was addicted to the same drugs as my Rush. I even went to the same pharmacies, so that my drugs came from the same batch and bottle as his. I was very sick. I remember a prescription for 50 tablets of Lorcet was filled for Limbaugh at the Zitomer Pharmacy on Madison Avenue in New York. The tablets were to be taken at a rate of two a day, and at that pace the prescription should have lasted 25 days. Three days later, a prescription was filled for Limbaugh at the same pharmacy for another 50 tablets. A third prescription for 96 tablets of Norco was filled about the same time at the Lewis Pharmacy in Palm Beach. I copied the same regime.

    Limbaugh getting busted is what made me snap!!! I thought he was God, and I copied his every move. I even set up a suto microphone on a table under my troll bridge, emulating my Rush. Then suddenly, he was reduced to a squirming suuckball begging for forgiveness. I lost the love of my life that day!!! I began to hate Rush.

    I became a democrat, just to spit in his face. Go back to the archives and read my old posts. You’ll see, I switched my persuasion. That’s when my ego and alter-ego became severe adversaries. I would now and forever FIGHT RUSH LIMBAUGH!!!!

    From that day on, everything I said incorporated anti-Limbaugh BS, I ate Limbaugh’s Hot Dogs, and drank Limbaugh’s Milk too long!!!

    So last week, in the middle of the night, I drank 2 full bottles of Ex-Lax attempting to get rid of that nasty Limbaugh blow up BS Hot Rush Dog. Then, suddenly....... I crapped out that bad Rush Dog!!!

    Actually the dog Rushed out too quick, and that’s what caused the “Inflamed Hemorrhoid”, poor me. Anyway, my mind was finally clear… That's when my alter-ego OldE emerged. He's the honest side of me.

    Yes, there has been much speculation as to whom the other OldE really is? I even tried to blame it on 4now. But it’s me. Yup, I’m doing all this to myself for disciplinary reasons. I’m actually weaning myself off that nasty Rush Dog!!

    I’d like to take this opportunity to personally apologize to anyone I may not have offended with my bad side. Among those who are not owed my humble apologies are 4now, iperson, federale86, unique, brit4064, houston, proudusc, and everyone else. I promise that in the future, if my bad side should misbehave and insult anyone, I will discipline and punish myself by exposing nude photos of myself for public ridicule. (comming soon)


    E
    http://www.anbsoft.com/images/usflag_med.jpg

    "...I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit

  3. #3
    That was entertaining, 4now - or whoever you are

    I take it as a great sign of recognition, to have someone actually spend so much time creating and posting what you do , with the only subject matter of all your posts being ME.

    Talk about constipation and 2 full bottles of Ex-Lax
    http://www.anbsoft.com/images/usflag_med.jpg

    "...I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit

  4. #4
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by OldE:
    Hi, everyone !

    It's time for me to leave this board once again, before I wear out all the good welcome I've received from ya'll lately.

    It was fun to be here, as usual, and my best wishes extend to all of you, even dawdah, 4now and hudson who more than once pulled those high school pranks on me (and they were good at it at times, got best of me more than once )

    But I better go now... Life is Large...I have people I love and care about...I have my future awaiting for me....

    To you all my best regards ! As always !
    sprint_girl, proudusc, dcwtech, SOM12, iperson, RN, CM and all the others whom I don't mention by name - you know who you are, I always remember...
    iperson, I was kind of harsh and cold in my responce to your last post, but I just didn't want to sound cheesy and easily influenced by "emotional" stuff.
    In truth I never forget, there is nothing that I ever forget unless I intend to do so.

    Anyway, board...

    DAO is in everyone of us... let it guide us, let it show us our Way, to each his/her own, uniquie One....

    I Love my closest ones mightily, will sacrifise everything for them not excluding my life if necessary,
    I respect the rest of the humankind , and I intend to live the rest of my life to the best I can, along with those who are the most dear to me....

    May God help us all! Amen!

    Regards,

    E. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
    http://www.anbsoft.com/images/usflag_med.jpg

    "...I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit

  5. #5
    I thought that Olde moron was going to admit he got teh ghey.

  6. #6
    I'd say the fake is either SoM or Davdah OldE. Quite likely davdah since you have managed to expose the weakness in his logic enough times on here lately (which I wholeheartedly agree with btw)
    "What you see in the photograph isn't what you saw at the time. The real skill of photography is organized visual lying."

  7. #7
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Brit4064:
    I'd say the fake is either SoM or Davdah OldE. Quite likely davdah since you have managed to expose the weakness in his logic enough times on here lately (which I wholeheartedly agree with btw) </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Whoever it is, makes me feel ever more significant and important than before. After all somebody takes time to do one thing only: dedicate each and every post to ME

    Who else can brag of such an influence here on this board? Even SoM didn't succeed reachng a state of such paramount importance as i did, as evidenced by the reaction of Mullah Limbaugh supporters to my presence here
    http://www.anbsoft.com/images/usflag_med.jpg

    "...I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit

  8. #8
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Brit4064:
    I'd say the fake is either SoM or Davdah OldE. Quite likely davdah since you have managed to expose the weakness in his logic enough times on here lately (which I wholeheartedly agree with btw) </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Thanks Brit,

    I promise to help you find him. But I will enjoy all this while it lasts. It does feel good to get all this special attention. Besides the bad Hot Dog was crapped out.

    E
    http://www.anbsoft.com/images/usflag_med.jpg

    "...I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit

  9. #9
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by OldE:
    McCain has already won this election.
    There is no comprehensible reason for Obama to run against McCain, unless Obamas' true purpose is to lose this election. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
    http://www.anbsoft.com/images/usflag_med.jpg

    "...I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit

  10. #10
    <span class="ev_code_red">The day Hillary Clinton lost primaries (thanks to registered Republican voters who crossed party lines and kicked her out of contest) was the day when McCain was nearly guaranteed the victory in GE.

    The only reason McCain didn't win is that Republican party decided to sacrifice him by keeping their base off the ballots on election day.

    Why did Republicans do this?

    Look no further: The answer is November 2010.

    I will gladly change my opinion and endorse Obama as skillful President if Dems don't suffer disastrous loss during mid-terms of 2010.

    Until then i'll maintain my opinion that 2008 was a set-up to crush Dems in 2010
    </span>
    http://www.anbsoft.com/images/usflag_med.jpg

    "...I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit

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