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Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Good Punchline!!!

  1. #1
    DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!!

    Three women die together in an accident
    And go to heaven.
    When they get there, St. Peter says,
    We only have one rule here in heaven:
    Don't step on the ducks!'
    So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
    There are ducks all over the place.
    It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
    And although they try their best to avoid them,
    The first woman accidentally steps on one.

    Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
    St. Peter chains them together and says,
    Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
    Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
    The next day,
    The second woman steps accidentally on a duck
    And along comes St. Peter,
    Who doesn't miss a thing.
    With him is another extremely ugly man.
    He chains them together
    With the same admonishment as for the first woman.
    The third woman has observed all this and,
    Not wanting to be chained
    For all eternity to an ugly man, is very,
    VERY careful where she steps.
    She manages to go months
    Without stepping on any ducks,

    But one day St.Peter comes up to her

    With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on

    .... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.



    St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says,

    I wonder what I did to deserve being
    Chained to you for all of eternity?
    The guy says,
    I don't know about you,
    But I stepped on a
    Duck.
    “...I may condemn what you say, but I will give my life for that you may say it”! - Voltaire

  2. #2
    Husband & Wife stores
    The Husband Store

    A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
    -You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

    -There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
    -There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

    The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

    The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that woman are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


    Out of fear of facing discrimination lawsuit, a wife store was opened across the street

    The Wife Store

    The first floor has wives that love s e x.

    The second floor has wives that love s e x and have money.

    The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
    If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans

    Democrats - Brave enough to KILL our unborn, just NOT our ENEMIES!

  3. #3
    Come On Guys!!! Dont Make Me STEAL ' Copy and Paste" to the funny stuff thread!!! This Is Funny!!
    USC and Legal, Honest Immigrant Alike Must Fight Against Those That Deceive and Disrupt A Place Of Desirability! All Are Victims of Fraud, Both USC and Honest Immigrant Alike! The bad can and does make it more difficult for the good! Be careful who y

  4. #4
    David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons

    Why Golf Is Better Than ***.....


    #10...A below par performance

    is considered **** good.


    #9...You can stop in the middle

    and have a cheeseburger

    and a couple of beers.


    #8...It's much easier to

    find the sweet spot.


    #7...Foursomes are encouraged.


    #6...You can still make money

    doing it as a senior.


    #5..Three times a day is possible.


    #4...Your partner doesn't hire

    a lawyer if you play

    with someone else.

    #3..If you live in Florida, you

    can do it almost everyday.


    #2...You don't have to cuddle

    with your partner when

    you're finished.


    And the number one reason why

    golf is better than ***.....


    #1...If your equipment gets old

    and rusty, you can replace it!


    USC and Legal, Honest Immigrant Alike Must Fight Against Those That Deceive and Disrupt A Place Of Desirability! All Are Victims of Fraud, Both USC and Honest Immigrant Alike! The bad can and does make it more difficult for the good! Be careful who y

  5. #5
    Originally posted by MakeItRight!:
    David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons

    Why Golf Is Better Than ***.....


    #10...A below par performance

    is considered **** good.


    #9...You can stop in the middle

    and have a cheeseburger

    and a couple of beers.


    #8...It's much easier to

    find the sweet spot.


    #7...Foursomes are encouraged.


    #6...You can still make money

    doing it as a senior.


    #5..Three times a day is possible.


    #4...Your partner doesn't hire

    a lawyer if you play

    with someone else.

    #3..If you live in Florida, you

    can do it almost everyday.


    #2...You don't have to cuddle

    with your partner when

    you're finished.


    And the number one reason why

    golf is better than ***.....


    #1...If your equipment gets old

    and rusty, you can replace it!


    HA, HA, HA!!
    “...I may condemn what you say, but I will give my life for that you may say it”! - Voltaire

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