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Thread: Most of you will think I have lost my mind

  1. #1
    Well, it's my true personal story I want to get off of my chest on this board where all different kinds of problems are discussed.
    I came to the U.S. in 1996 and was on F1 for 4 years while attended university. After graduation I started working and went onto getting my H1B and startd the employment based GC application. Later I was laid off and lost everything, fell out of status and felt totally devastated.
    I met my USC girlfriend/(later fiancee) to whom I admitted my immigration situation and she was very loving and understanding. We were together for a year when we got engaged and started planning the wedding for six months later. She would always tell me how much she loved me, that everything will be ok with us once I fix my status in the U.S. I must mention it was a real relationship not for the GC. However, my dear fiancee became too happy and too confident about her soon becoming a wife and that she thought she got me and will never lose me. She started having this bossy attitude which I could not stand and could not discuss with her because she was not receptive at all.
    Guess what? I was so freaking tired of my out of status situation and the hassle that I bought a flight ticket and left the U.S. three weeks before the wedding knowing that I was facing the 10 year bar. I did not and still don't give a dam about papers or anything. I could have easily become a PR one day but it was not worth it. Every morning I get up now I tell myself that I did the right thing.
    As I said, I pretty much closed the gate behind me because of the 10 year bar and devastated her and her family which I did not mean too.
    It was the ****tiest feeling to see her and her whole family cry; they loved me a lot. My ex-fiancee and her mom will not get over this.
    Now, I am starting a new life and a great life alone in another beautiful country.

  2. #2
    Well, it's my true personal story I want to get off of my chest on this board where all different kinds of problems are discussed.
    I came to the U.S. in 1996 and was on F1 for 4 years while attended university. After graduation I started working and went onto getting my H1B and startd the employment based GC application. Later I was laid off and lost everything, fell out of status and felt totally devastated.
    I met my USC girlfriend/(later fiancee) to whom I admitted my immigration situation and she was very loving and understanding. We were together for a year when we got engaged and started planning the wedding for six months later. She would always tell me how much she loved me, that everything will be ok with us once I fix my status in the U.S. I must mention it was a real relationship not for the GC. However, my dear fiancee became too happy and too confident about her soon becoming a wife and that she thought she got me and will never lose me. She started having this bossy attitude which I could not stand and could not discuss with her because she was not receptive at all.
    Guess what? I was so freaking tired of my out of status situation and the hassle that I bought a flight ticket and left the U.S. three weeks before the wedding knowing that I was facing the 10 year bar. I did not and still don't give a dam about papers or anything. I could have easily become a PR one day but it was not worth it. Every morning I get up now I tell myself that I did the right thing.
    As I said, I pretty much closed the gate behind me because of the 10 year bar and devastated her and her family which I did not mean too.
    It was the ****tiest feeling to see her and her whole family cry; they loved me a lot. My ex-fiancee and her mom will not get over this.
    Now, I am starting a new life and a great life alone in another beautiful country.

  3. #3
    Good job man. You have a gut and courage to start a new fresh live again and this is something I keep thinking about doing it after living under stinky fears and laws..If I would not have established anything in this country, I would be doing the same way. Good luck with your new plans/life.

  4. #4
    A good green card is not worth a bad marriage. You made the right decision.

  5. #5
    Some might think you made the right choice and gain your freedom, others might think you're a self-serving b-a-s-tard who just want to feel better about himself. Its all in the eye of beholder.

  6. #6
    What a dumb a ss! You shoulda got the GC!
    Sweet Madame Belu

  7. #7
    Good to hear you're happy now.

    Is there any way to turn off the word censor, by the way? I can't help trying to figure what they are.

  8. #8
    you have done the right thing by choosing self respect and making a right long term life choice. Truth to the matter, you marriage was not going to last if your almost wife was not receptive then. Personally, I do not think GC worth a horrible and controlling marriage/relationship.
    ...Mistake Recognized is half corrected ...

  9. #9
    Hello Andrew

    It takes a great deal of courage and respect for one's self to do what you did. I applaud you and admire you. In your conversation I did not hear you mention love for your fiance.. just her love. It appears that you are honest with yourself and although you had strong feelings, they were not love, and the marriage would not have endured. Good 4u that greencard was not enough to have ultimately destroyed this human beings life enventually. Yes you did do the right thing for all involved.

    Hopefully someday it will heal and you can keep intouch as friends, as it sounds like it was just a good friendship anyway and nothing more.
    Sounds like you did not go back to your country of origin for whatever reason. But best wishes in your new life. 10 years goes by like nothing sometime. We will see u again

  10. #10
    you did good i think, because:
    - you made a decision ... now that sounds simple, but every decision you make in life should be well-thought about ... especially a big one like that
    - you actually did what you decided to ... and stuck with all that stuff after that ... BUT hey, if you would be in the US ... would you be happy now ? would your wife be happy ? does it matter anymore ?
    - by doing such a clean cut you also made it easier for your almost in-law family ... yes, i bet they had a tough time, BUT a fast clean cut may hurt a lot, but heals faster too than slow and time consuming ....

    in the end the question is not if it was right or wrong .... can we ever know if we are right or wrong ? do we have to know ?
    i left everyone in my homecountry ... family and friends to go to the US and i am happy .... and if you are happy now, then you reached your goal and this is should be the only thing on your interest (might sound egoistic, but this is how it should be)
    ^_^

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