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Thread: need a help.please

  1. #1
    i am married and i have a permanent green card.
    my husband doesn't like me going to college,which i am paying from my pocket and doesn't like me working as well.So he treats me all the time with the divorce and recently he start saying that he is going to make me beg him or put me on my knees,by going to immigration office and announce that i used him to get a green card.I am on the of my wits.It actually was quite abusive marriage .I am married to him for the last 6 years.We live in the same household.We have friends,have joint taxes.I would love to stay married,but i don't think i can do it anymore.he calls ***** and so on.Just doesn't treat me right.Apparently I supposed to deserve right treatment.I work long hours to make a living on a minimum wage,have to come home and do everything to please him.
    do you think he can really go to INS and they will listen to him?As he told me "I got you green card and I will take it away from you"?
    thanks

  2. #2
    i am married and i have a permanent green card.
    my husband doesn't like me going to college,which i am paying from my pocket and doesn't like me working as well.So he treats me all the time with the divorce and recently he start saying that he is going to make me beg him or put me on my knees,by going to immigration office and announce that i used him to get a green card.I am on the of my wits.It actually was quite abusive marriage .I am married to him for the last 6 years.We live in the same household.We have friends,have joint taxes.I would love to stay married,but i don't think i can do it anymore.he calls ***** and so on.Just doesn't treat me right.Apparently I supposed to deserve right treatment.I work long hours to make a living on a minimum wage,have to come home and do everything to please him.
    do you think he can really go to INS and they will listen to him?As he told me "I got you green card and I will take it away from you"?
    thanks

  3. #3
    I recently decided to make a changes in my life and took some classes in community college(part time)he doesn't like me to be out of home long hours.He likes the meal be prepared,house clean,my mouth shut and god forbid if i late from the store 10 minutes.He is originakly from Iran.But he is US citizen .we don't have any common children,i was pregnant 3 times and he make me do an abortion,by going with me to the clinic.I have stepchildren,which do not live with me but visit.and i have a child from previous marriage.I didn't sneak into this country,by the way.Thanks I am working very hard in the hospital doing low paid job with master degree from my country.

  4. #4
    I don't think i have to describe every single day of my life .The marriage became abusive.I am the victim.I do have witnesses of abuse,and police report.I just can't forgive anymore.(cheating,lying and do not agree with style of the life i have)tried to worked it out may times.
    I can't afford to live on 100 dollars in a month he was giving me as spouse support.Are you kidding me?I wanted to have a marriage,not a divorce.I didn't come here for a green card.I wanted to have a family.And my husband says,I do not deserve good treatment(flowers on my birthdays or valentine's day)or just simple plane peace.
    this is why i wanted to have a different live,i started to work,i don't want to be depend on him anymore.he loses control and this drives him crazy.this is it

  5. #5
    elina, your marriage has lasted longer than many others... I doubt that your husband can make a case proving you married him for GC. I don't think you have to worry about that at all.

  6. #6
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by elina:
    I don't think i have to describe every single day of my life .The marriage became abusive.I am the victim.I do have witnesses of abuse,and police report.I just can't forgive anymore.(cheating,lying and do not agree with style of the life i have)tried to worked it out may times.
    I can't afford to live on 100 dollars in a month he was giving me as spouse support.Are you kidding me?I wanted to have a marriage,not a divorce.I didn't come here for a green card.I wanted to have a family.And my husband says,I do not deserve good treatment(flowers on my birthdays or valentine's day)or just simple plane peace.
    this is why i wanted to have a different live,i started to work,i don't want to be depend on him anymore.he loses control and this drives him crazy.this is it </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Elina, please do not stay in this abusive marriage. Leave him, you'll be fine without him. If he calls USCIS, don't worry, they want listen to him. Good Luck!
    “...I may condemn what you say, but I will give my life for that you may say it”! - Voltaire

  7. #7
    Hi Elina,

    Regarding your question, I don't think that a husband can hold that greencard over your head like the proverbial sword of Damocles. (Aneri and the other seniors here will give specific answers to your case.) This is a free country and if your husband wants to threaten you with that greencard, then he can do so. The matter of whether he would succeed or not is for the USCIS to decide, not him. And if you think that despite counseling (if he even would want to work out that marriage with you), your marriage wouldn't work, then nobody can force you to stay in a very oppressive situation, if that is how you see it. It's your call because you're in THAT situation and you know your situation better than any of us here can.
    Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, as long as ever you can.

    --John Wesley

  8. #8
    i just want to tell that i feel very very sad that my marriage didn't succeed.It just hurts so much when you hear those awful names from him.after years of caring for my stepchildren,which some of them called me Mom.those sleepless nights,when my stepdaughter was sick,or when my stepson-teenager was in trouble.I was doing for them more then their own mother.I don't it is probably combination of feelings like sadness,pain,.. i don't know....and in the end i don't deserve respect?and constant treats.why don't you guys can't treat women right?all i heard that i have a roof over my head and i should be thankful for it.i don't believe that you holding your spouse on a short leash,you will reach internal happiness .It is just horrible thing to do,

  9. #9
    by the way,he doesn't buy me clothes and i pay for food,and other bills like water,cell phone,car insurance and health club.so i think i invest quite a lot in the marriage,plus,i do all the cleaning,laundry and cooking in the house,even if i have to work 12 hours shift,he would for me to come home and cook diner for him.and God forbid if i forgot to buy milk.it would be yelling and screaming,so neighbors can hear you

  10. #10
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by elina:
    by the way,he doesn't buy me clothes and i pay for food,and other bills like water,cell phone,car insurance and health club.so i think i invest quite a lot in the marriage,plus,i do all the cleaning,laundry and cooking in the house,even if i have to work 12 hours shift,he would for me to come home and cook diner for him.and God forbid if i forgot to buy milk.it would be yelling and screaming,so neighbors can hear you </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    That sounds like so much what I went through! It's not fun! Like, I was successful everywhere I went and with just about everything I did except for when I put my foot in the house - I was degraded.

    Do not be afraid of him. Leave him and don't look back!
    “...I may condemn what you say, but I will give my life for that you may say it”! - Voltaire

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