ILW.COM - the immigration portal Immigration Daily

Home Page


Immigration Daily

Archives

Processing times

Immigration forms

Discussion board

Resources

Blogs

Twitter feed

Immigrant Nation

Attorney2Attorney

CLE Workshops

Immigration books

Advertise on ILW

VIP Network

EB-5

移民日报

About ILW.COM

Connect to us

Make us Homepage

Questions/Comments


SUBSCRIBE

Immigration Daily


Chinese Immig. Daily




The leading
immigration law
publisher - over
50000 pages of
free information!
Copyright
1995-
ILW.COM,
American
Immigration LLC.

Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: What if Bob Barr Had Won?

  1. #1
    Imagine, if you will, that by some fluke, Libertarian candidate Bob Barr ended up president of the United States. What would the next four years look like? Dare we consider such an unlikely possibility? Oh, we dare all right! Game on!

    NOV. 4, 2008

    Stalemates in the Electoral College, the Congress and the Supreme Court (Justice Antonin Scalia's written opinion reads only "quack, quack" and is discarded) invoke an obscure Constitutional provision allowing Drew Carey to choose the president.

    NOV. 5, 2008

    Barack Obama, John McCain, Bob Barr and Ralph Nader appear on The Price is Right. Barr is declared the 44th President of the United States after bidding $351 on a Helman Old-Fashioned Movie Time Popcorn Maker - actual retail price: $399! McCain complains bitterly about Barr's having bid $1 more than he.

    JAN. 20, 2009

    Inauguration Day arrives and Barr "reluctantly" accedes to being sworn in on a statutorily mandated date. Visibly irked by Chief Justice John Roberts' attempt to have him swear on a Bible, Barr mumbles that he recognizes no authority and instead suggests that he swear on his own moustache. Veep-elect Wayne Allen Root stays at home in Las Vegas, texting the frantic Inaugural Committee Chairman: "u cant tell me wht 2 do." Alaska Governor Sarah Palin suggests she be sworn in instead, and her knowing wink and winning smile earn the Chairman's capitulation. Roberts tells her she's "way hotter in person."

    JAN. 21, 2009

    Libertarian accolades pour in after Barr spends the day doing nothing.

    JAN. 28, 2009

    The Revolutionary War-era "Don't Tread On Me" flag is reinstated as the official banner of the United States. Barr beams with pride as millions, ignoring the flag's command, unfurl and stomp on it.

    MARCH 15, 2009

    Barr's Executive Order No. 70083, signed at 9 a.m., officially eliminates federal enforcement of National Parks protections. By 10:30 a.m., an intoxicated Todd Palin is spotted tearing up Gettysburg on an ATV. His rifle-toting wife is reported to be trying to rent an airplane near *Yellowstone.

    JULY 4, 2009

    Standing outside of Faneuil Hall in Boston, Barr delivers an Independence Day speech denouncing "tyranny in all its forms," citing especially Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security and cookbooks. "Who is Irma Rombauer to tell you how to braise that coq au vin?" he tells a confused crowd. Gourmet magazine achieves political awareness.

    DEC. 17, 2009

    Prostitution is officially decriminalized. Eliot Spitzer high-fives an imaginary friend and returns to begging for change.

    MAY 22, 2010

    Barr vetoes a copyright protection bill, citing concerns about its capacity to limit individual freedom. He then vetoes his veto, citing concerns about its capacity to limit corporate freedom. He then vetoes his veto of his veto, citing concerns about its capacity to limit the personal freedom of the president. He then vetoes his veto of the veto he vetoed, citing personal confusion. He then has an egg-salad sandwich and takes a nap.

    AUG. 9, 2010

    For the 489th straight day, Barr receives a call from Sarah Palin inquiring about his health. This surpasses the record set by Richard Nixon and Dwight Eisenhower in 1954.

    NOV. 2, 2010

    Libertarian candidates win 412 seats in the House and 32 in the Senate thanks to Barr's shrewd passage of An Act to Limit Parental Authority and the subsequent passage of the 28th Amendment, allowing six-year-olds to vote. In California, write-in candidate Thomas the Tank Engine celebrates his defeat of Barbara Boxer by vowing to annex the Island of Sodor.

    FEB. 18, 2011

    The Federal "Do What You Want Day" holiday ends in the deaths of hundreds of *thousands.

    FEB. 22, 2011

    New Hampshire changes its motto from "Live Free Or Die" to "Can We Live, Maybe, Like Just A Little Bit Less Free?"

    MARCH 4, 2011

    New Department of Education regulations eliminate tyrranical prescriptive linguistics from American life. Copies of Strunk & White are burned. The banner headline on the next day's Wall Street Journal reads: "Ritin an reedin reel ez now." Subsequent legislation reads like a Faulkner novel. Barr is hailed when childrens' test scores go through the roof. New York Times cruciverbalists find the puzzle either radically easier or radically more difficult.

    JUNE 19, 2011

    Barr refuses to submit to the authority of a severe cold.

    DEC. 2, 2011

    A radical Vermont anti-anti-government militia holes itself up inside its compound after the IRS refuses to accept its tax cheque. The nation is glued to CNN when IRS Anti-*Redistribution agents arrive in Middlebury, use a battering ram to enter the compound and place a thick wad of currency on the coffee table.

    MAY 4, 2012

    The Presidential race begins to heat up after presumptive Republican nominee Mike Huckabee implies in a speech that Barr fathered a determinist baby out of wedlock. Barr accuses Huckabee of metaphysics-baiting. Keith Olbermann is forced to resign from MSNBC after airing apparently doctored photos of Barr dressed as David Hume.

    OCT. 3, 2012

    "Joe the Camel" accosts Democratic nominee Barack Obama at a rally outside Winston-Salem, N.C., asking whether the candidate intends to ban tobacco, and Barr invokes his name no fewer than 143 times during the first debate. Media scrutiny later reveals "Joe" to be unemployed Libertarian actor John Larroquette.

    NOV. 6, 2012

    Shrek 7 opens in theatres and child voters abandon their franchise as an Obama landslide returns the Democrats to the White House after a 12-year absence. Barr accepts the vote as an expression of individual agency, then rejects it as a curtailing of his own agency. He then has an egg-*salad sandwich and takes a nap.

  2. #2
    Imagine, if you will, that by some fluke, Libertarian candidate Bob Barr ended up president of the United States. What would the next four years look like? Dare we consider such an unlikely possibility? Oh, we dare all right! Game on!

    NOV. 4, 2008

    Stalemates in the Electoral College, the Congress and the Supreme Court (Justice Antonin Scalia's written opinion reads only "quack, quack" and is discarded) invoke an obscure Constitutional provision allowing Drew Carey to choose the president.

    NOV. 5, 2008

    Barack Obama, John McCain, Bob Barr and Ralph Nader appear on The Price is Right. Barr is declared the 44th President of the United States after bidding $351 on a Helman Old-Fashioned Movie Time Popcorn Maker - actual retail price: $399! McCain complains bitterly about Barr's having bid $1 more than he.

    JAN. 20, 2009

    Inauguration Day arrives and Barr "reluctantly" accedes to being sworn in on a statutorily mandated date. Visibly irked by Chief Justice John Roberts' attempt to have him swear on a Bible, Barr mumbles that he recognizes no authority and instead suggests that he swear on his own moustache. Veep-elect Wayne Allen Root stays at home in Las Vegas, texting the frantic Inaugural Committee Chairman: "u cant tell me wht 2 do." Alaska Governor Sarah Palin suggests she be sworn in instead, and her knowing wink and winning smile earn the Chairman's capitulation. Roberts tells her she's "way hotter in person."

    JAN. 21, 2009

    Libertarian accolades pour in after Barr spends the day doing nothing.

    JAN. 28, 2009

    The Revolutionary War-era "Don't Tread On Me" flag is reinstated as the official banner of the United States. Barr beams with pride as millions, ignoring the flag's command, unfurl and stomp on it.

    MARCH 15, 2009

    Barr's Executive Order No. 70083, signed at 9 a.m., officially eliminates federal enforcement of National Parks protections. By 10:30 a.m., an intoxicated Todd Palin is spotted tearing up Gettysburg on an ATV. His rifle-toting wife is reported to be trying to rent an airplane near *Yellowstone.

    JULY 4, 2009

    Standing outside of Faneuil Hall in Boston, Barr delivers an Independence Day speech denouncing "tyranny in all its forms," citing especially Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security and cookbooks. "Who is Irma Rombauer to tell you how to braise that coq au vin?" he tells a confused crowd. Gourmet magazine achieves political awareness.

    DEC. 17, 2009

    Prostitution is officially decriminalized. Eliot Spitzer high-fives an imaginary friend and returns to begging for change.

    MAY 22, 2010

    Barr vetoes a copyright protection bill, citing concerns about its capacity to limit individual freedom. He then vetoes his veto, citing concerns about its capacity to limit corporate freedom. He then vetoes his veto of his veto, citing concerns about its capacity to limit the personal freedom of the president. He then vetoes his veto of the veto he vetoed, citing personal confusion. He then has an egg-salad sandwich and takes a nap.

    AUG. 9, 2010

    For the 489th straight day, Barr receives a call from Sarah Palin inquiring about his health. This surpasses the record set by Richard Nixon and Dwight Eisenhower in 1954.

    NOV. 2, 2010

    Libertarian candidates win 412 seats in the House and 32 in the Senate thanks to Barr's shrewd passage of An Act to Limit Parental Authority and the subsequent passage of the 28th Amendment, allowing six-year-olds to vote. In California, write-in candidate Thomas the Tank Engine celebrates his defeat of Barbara Boxer by vowing to annex the Island of Sodor.

    FEB. 18, 2011

    The Federal "Do What You Want Day" holiday ends in the deaths of hundreds of *thousands.

    FEB. 22, 2011

    New Hampshire changes its motto from "Live Free Or Die" to "Can We Live, Maybe, Like Just A Little Bit Less Free?"

    MARCH 4, 2011

    New Department of Education regulations eliminate tyrranical prescriptive linguistics from American life. Copies of Strunk & White are burned. The banner headline on the next day's Wall Street Journal reads: "Ritin an reedin reel ez now." Subsequent legislation reads like a Faulkner novel. Barr is hailed when childrens' test scores go through the roof. New York Times cruciverbalists find the puzzle either radically easier or radically more difficult.

    JUNE 19, 2011

    Barr refuses to submit to the authority of a severe cold.

    DEC. 2, 2011

    A radical Vermont anti-anti-government militia holes itself up inside its compound after the IRS refuses to accept its tax cheque. The nation is glued to CNN when IRS Anti-*Redistribution agents arrive in Middlebury, use a battering ram to enter the compound and place a thick wad of currency on the coffee table.

    MAY 4, 2012

    The Presidential race begins to heat up after presumptive Republican nominee Mike Huckabee implies in a speech that Barr fathered a determinist baby out of wedlock. Barr accuses Huckabee of metaphysics-baiting. Keith Olbermann is forced to resign from MSNBC after airing apparently doctored photos of Barr dressed as David Hume.

    OCT. 3, 2012

    "Joe the Camel" accosts Democratic nominee Barack Obama at a rally outside Winston-Salem, N.C., asking whether the candidate intends to ban tobacco, and Barr invokes his name no fewer than 143 times during the first debate. Media scrutiny later reveals "Joe" to be unemployed Libertarian actor John Larroquette.

    NOV. 6, 2012

    Shrek 7 opens in theatres and child voters abandon their franchise as an Obama landslide returns the Democrats to the White House after a 12-year absence. Barr accepts the vote as an expression of individual agency, then rejects it as a curtailing of his own agency. He then has an egg-*salad sandwich and takes a nap.

Similar Threads

  1. What Happens after Barr
    By Allan555 in forum Immigration Discussion
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 05-10-2015, 02:52 AM
  2. Where is Bob?
    By itduz in forum Immigration Discussion
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-06-2005, 06:45 PM
  3. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-31-2003, 12:58 AM
  4. BOB??? YOU THERE?
    By in forum Immigration Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-08-2003, 11:09 PM
  5. What happens after the barr
    By in forum Immigration Discussion
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 01-17-2003, 12:47 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Put Free Immigration Law Headlines On Your Website

Immigration Daily: the news source for legal professionals. Free! Join 35000+ readers Enter your email address here: