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Thread: Beverly calls Immigration...

  1. #1
    -You're calling the United States Immigration and Citizenship Services information line. How may I help you?

    Hey there. My name is Beverly.

    -Hi, Beverly. How may I assist you?

    I need to report some illegal aliens.

    -Sure, I will transfer your call. Did you say aliens? How many?

    38 million.

    -38 million? Is this a joke?

    Nope. No joke. 38 whoppin' million.

    -I see. I am not transfering your call yet. You see, I also work as a volunteer at a non-profit organization that helps people with anger management classes. This is against the agency's regulations, but you obviously need help. Is it ok if I try to help you, Bev?

    I guess.

    -You see, Beverly, the number of immigrants in America, both legal and illegal, reached a record 38 million this year. Many studies suggest that one third of these 38 million are illegaly in this country. Are you saying that all 38 million should be deported? Both legal and illegal immigrants?

    Yes! That's exactly what I am saying. They all are 3rd grade educated peasants. It's time for these cultural and mental midgets to go home. Will you deport'em all?

    -Sure!. But tell me, what bothers you mostly about immigrants, Beverly?

    They've got chickens.

    -Chickens? I don't understand.

    Yep. Live chickens, you know.

    -Well, some immigrants from Cuba and Haiti with African ancestry use chickens for their religious voodoo ceremonies, so they keep-

    No, no, NOT THOSE chickens! Don't you understand?

    -I'm affraid I don't. So... You want them deported because they own chickens?

    Yup. And I want all the anchor babies deported too.

    -Anchor babies? I don't understand. If you are talking about the sons and daughters of these immigrants, I think you are confused. They are US Citizens, since they were born in the US.

    No, YOU don't understand! Those citizenship documents given to them by a myriad of traitors in our government are fake.

    -Fake? Why are they fake?

    'cause I say so! That's why!

    -Ok... I understand. What else bothers you about these immigrants?

    It sickens me when I hear them speaking their guttural Spanish.

    -I can understand that. I feel uncomfortable when people around me start talking jigaboo and I cannot understand a word and-

    Watch it! I said Spanish, not any other language or a messed-up, corrupted version of one. Besides, jigaboo is ALMOST like English!

    -Sorry, I just think they are destroying English and... Never mind. Is there anything else I can do for you?

    Yep. I also want to report Bill Richardson.

    -Bill Richardson? The presidential candidate who was Governor of New Mexico? What do you want to report about him?

    He's an anchor baby.

    -He is??? I don't understand. I have read his biography, and he was born in Pasadena, California. But we'll get him too, ma'am. Don't worry. What else?

    I also want to report Whknapp.

    -Whknapp? Who's Whknapp?

    He is a poster from the forum.

    -Forum? what forum? I'm affraid I don't understand this either.

    It's an immigration discussion board.

    -I see. Is it a discussion board dedicated to illegal immigration?

    Not really, it's a discussion board for immigrants to share information on immigration procedures, and their experiences. And for people who like to learn about immigration, but we hijacked it.

    -We? who are the others?

    Someone12, SundevilUSA and the rest, of course.

    -I see. Why do you want to report this person... uh... Whknapp?

    He's a twerp.

    -A twerp? (pause)

    Yep. Are you laughin'?

    -Huh,sorry... I mean, no. Please tell me more about this... uh... twerp.

    Well, he MUST be an illegal alien scumbag that came from a criminal infested 3rd-world cesspool south of the border. Mexico,for sure. And he might even have a chicken as a pet.

    -Knapp sounds like a German or Austrian last name, are you sure he's an illegal from Mexico?

    He MUST be an illegal from a criminal-infested 3rd-world cesspool who crawled under a fence, fleeing his shanties and stone-aged village. Besides, Why would he deffend the deffenseless if he wasn't?

    -Deffend the defenseless? Like a pro bono attorney of a non-profit organization like the one I volunteer for?

    You don't understand s h i t!. He deffends the deffenseless, something that can't be deffended!!!

    -Oh, you mean the indeffensible.

    Whatever. You're getting on my nerves too. Are you an anchor baby?

    -Excuse me?

    YOU HEARD ME! Are you an anchor baby? 'Coz you're starting to sound like one!

    -Ma'am, I don't understand what you're talking about, but this conversation will be over soon if you start calling me names. I am just trying to help you.

    I bet you've got live chickens in your yard. Don't you?

    -Ma'am, I do not have chickens in my yard. I live in a modern apartment complex.

    But I bet that if you could, you'd be raisin' chickens in your backyard, wouldn't you? WOULDN'T YOU?!!!

    -Ma'am, I am ending this conversation now. Please don't call again, and do me a favor, seek proffesional help, will you?.

    How dare you hang up on me, you 3rd world son-of-a-breedmare, freebie-demmanding anchor-baby leech?!!!

    Hello?... Hello?...

  2. #2
    Pretty creative, whknapp. That sounds about right - lmao!

  3. #3

  4. #4
    Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!

    It is hillariously funny how the low-lifes demand the low-lifes leave the country!!!
    “...I may condemn what you say, but I will give my life for that you may say it”! - Voltaire

  5. #5
    Whknapp, I was literally rolling on the floor laughing when I was reading this. Very, very funny. Thanks for a good laugh.

  6. #6
    Very creative i must say...
    "Until the color of a man's skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes everywhere will be war"...................BOB MARLEY

  7. #7
    Careful aliens, LAMIGRA cyberspace is coming RUN, RUN HERE THEY COME

    Oh wait, I forgot you have no place to run to. You're all nomads and those of you from Messyhole have maps that direct you to go die in the desert.

    Thanks border bunnies, I'm honored to know that so many of you are intimidated by me and recognize your pathetic selves in every word of my posts.

    Don't worry when the majority of you have no choice but to self deport, Americans will finish the job and deport the rest of your loved ones/raz. I'd hate for you to be separated and have to start all that frantic breeding again. It might piss off the oligarchys and they may run you out of your cesspool homelands again, by then we'll have a new President and our borders sealed. Then where will you all go and mooch from?
    Wolves Travel In Packs
    ____________________

  8. #8

  9. #9
    looooool...this is a really good one.

  10. #10
    Omg, whknapp you are too funny, then I saw Explora's chickens and I was rolling again!

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