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Thread: compicated situation- advise appreciated

  1. #1
    Hi, I just found this discussion board and hope someone can give me some advice.
    My futur ex- husband and I married 1998 in Germany. He just got out of the military and we lived a civilians. We had our first son who is severly disabled. The marriage didn't last, so we got a divorce in 2001 in Germany. I didn't hear from him until 2003 when he wrote me an Email that he is back in the US, re- enlisted in the National Guard and is getting ready to get deployed soon. He asked if I could come to the US so he can see our son before he leaves. I flew to the US, and it seemed he changed a lot. He told me that he was sorry how things ended and the reason for his behavior was that he was so unhappy in Germany and beeing out of the military, and on and on and on. Well stupid and blind as I was I re- married him in 2003. He filled out all my paperwork for the INS so I would get my green card.I got pregneat with our second son in June 04. He deployed in July 04 to Afghanistan. Since the INS told me that it would take about 2 years to receive the GC I didn't worry about it. In February 2005 I called the INS to asked about my status and had to hear that they sended my paperwork back to us in 2003 because we sent the wrong amount of money. I never received it.
    Well to make things worse my husband was due back to the US in Aug 2005, what he did but he never came back to us. His family and I found out on accident that he was back, that he moved in with a woman he met over there, I filed all the paperwork with the military for abandonnment and so on but there was not much they could do since he was just NG. He filed for a divorce, quit sending us money and I was here without any legal status. friends gave me the money for an attorney and we went to court for support. In between he enlisted in the US- Army and is stationed in a different state. The judge ordered him to pay support for the kids and even spousal allowance although it doen't exist in the state I live in. He also ordered him to sign my immigrations papers again. But his JAG attorney told him that he doesn't had to sign the financial support paper. Right now he is deployed to Iraq and is not due back until Aug, 2007. But he called me from overthere and told me, that if I don't waive the support order for me and lower the order for the kids he would deport me and keep the kids here since they are USC. I can pay my bills but I can not afford an other attorney.We are not divorced yet. So my question now is : Can he deport me and keep the kids here? Is there any legal way for me to stay here with the kids? My mother-in-law would be willing to be my sponsor, but after talking to the INS we know that that is not possible. The answer I got from the INS was: as long as I don't try to leave the coundtry I am fine.
    I am NOT fine! I am here, have no legal status, I am not allowed to work. Is there anything I can do?
    I would appreciate any advice!
    Thank you

  2. #2
    Hi, I just found this discussion board and hope someone can give me some advice.
    My futur ex- husband and I married 1998 in Germany. He just got out of the military and we lived a civilians. We had our first son who is severly disabled. The marriage didn't last, so we got a divorce in 2001 in Germany. I didn't hear from him until 2003 when he wrote me an Email that he is back in the US, re- enlisted in the National Guard and is getting ready to get deployed soon. He asked if I could come to the US so he can see our son before he leaves. I flew to the US, and it seemed he changed a lot. He told me that he was sorry how things ended and the reason for his behavior was that he was so unhappy in Germany and beeing out of the military, and on and on and on. Well stupid and blind as I was I re- married him in 2003. He filled out all my paperwork for the INS so I would get my green card.I got pregneat with our second son in June 04. He deployed in July 04 to Afghanistan. Since the INS told me that it would take about 2 years to receive the GC I didn't worry about it. In February 2005 I called the INS to asked about my status and had to hear that they sended my paperwork back to us in 2003 because we sent the wrong amount of money. I never received it.
    Well to make things worse my husband was due back to the US in Aug 2005, what he did but he never came back to us. His family and I found out on accident that he was back, that he moved in with a woman he met over there, I filed all the paperwork with the military for abandonnment and so on but there was not much they could do since he was just NG. He filed for a divorce, quit sending us money and I was here without any legal status. friends gave me the money for an attorney and we went to court for support. In between he enlisted in the US- Army and is stationed in a different state. The judge ordered him to pay support for the kids and even spousal allowance although it doen't exist in the state I live in. He also ordered him to sign my immigrations papers again. But his JAG attorney told him that he doesn't had to sign the financial support paper. Right now he is deployed to Iraq and is not due back until Aug, 2007. But he called me from overthere and told me, that if I don't waive the support order for me and lower the order for the kids he would deport me and keep the kids here since they are USC. I can pay my bills but I can not afford an other attorney.We are not divorced yet. So my question now is : Can he deport me and keep the kids here? Is there any legal way for me to stay here with the kids? My mother-in-law would be willing to be my sponsor, but after talking to the INS we know that that is not possible. The answer I got from the INS was: as long as I don't try to leave the coundtry I am fine.
    I am NOT fine! I am here, have no legal status, I am not allowed to work. Is there anything I can do?
    I would appreciate any advice!
    Thank you

  3. #3
    He cannot deport you! This story rings many bells with me, because I went through something similar. My ex actually called the INS several times, but they wouldn't do anything. I opted to stay here and raise my kids here. Don't let him make you afraid.

    I think you might be able to go forward with self-petitioning for yourself. But you have to do this within two years of the date your divorce was finalized, otherwise you loose that benefit.

    If you can't afford a lawyer, call the INS and ask, or just go to the website and find out yourself, about centers that work with indigent or needy people for very little money or none at all.

    Good Luck!
    “...I may condemn what you say, but I will give my life for that you may say it”! - Voltaire

  4. #4
    only INS aka immigration judge can deport you.
    But, since you have no status here....
    It will be tough...

  5. #5
    ....but to get back to your original question if refugees can get deported - I don't think so, according to what I read on the website, the rather look for third countries to re-home someone. That is very nice!!
    “...I may condemn what you say, but I will give my life for that you may say it”! - Voltaire

  6. #6
    I am not a refugee, at least I don't think so. Am I? Is this what my status is considered, a refugee?

  7. #7
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Vegado:
    ... But he called me from overthere and told me, that if I don't waive the support order for me and lower the order for the kids he would deport me and keep the kids here since they are USC. ...
    Thank you </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Dear Vegado,
    I almost freaked out when I read this or had a different feeling towards your almost ex-husband .

    I just cannot comprehend how somebody can be so cruel, really. Cruel to somebody who loves/loved him and gave him kids.

    Well, the only thing you should be, probably, worry about is the Haague convention on kids. You just cannot take your kids home to Germany (they are probably also German citizens, are they?) without his consent or without a valid court order ...

    But on the other hand he was ordered by the court to pay child and spousal support and on top of that to adjust your status ... Yes, he did not obey the verdict but my question is ˜can the court verdict override his signature for INS paperwork'? I do not know, I am just trying to help here but this road might be worth investigating.

    Good luck!

    Well, I should not say this, but it would be funny if you would find another USC (a nice guy, of course) and adjusted your status through him ... after you divorce your almost ex, of course. You would probably loose your spousal support but child support is usually calculated based on your and his income. And with you not working for years .... Just teasing here now.
    さん,γŒγ‚“γ°γ‚Œ!

  8. #8
    nooo, I just wrote a long posting to explain a few things, and pushed the wrong button.
    So I will just say a few things now: Thank you for your sugesstion with the judge, Honey. When he comes back from Iraq , and we have our contempt of court hearing I will ask the judge.
    Yes you are right, he doens't allow me to take the Kids to Germany, not because he loves them so much ( he hasn't seen them since 2004) it is just to anoy me.
    He doens't want to sign the addavit of support but at the same time he pays my allowance ( after long time fighting with the military)- But at the end isn't he doing what he refuses to sign?
    I read the question here : did you enter the marriage in good faith? I did, did he or were we just a nice tax-refund?
    There must be something out there what I can do, he is wrong. I know he wants to punish me because I don't so what he wants me to , but at the end he is punishing the kids.
    My international DL will expire soon, and I can't get a Indiana DL without a GC. I depend on my car, my oldest son needs to go to the doctor quite often, last month we were3 times in the ER an so on. And no, were we live there is no public transportations and no taxis( we don't even have sidwalks here!)

  9. #9
    Just for the records,a refugee can be deported ANYTIME, if the country he or she is from is a total secure wealthy country lol
    Thats like claiming to be poor, but living in Beverly Hills lol...

    But you are not a refugee,and you won't be one...Which is by the way a good thing.

    Here is the problem though, you are now in this country,you have no status,no income,and u are depended on certain finacial support aka child support etc etc and other kinds of money.

    I am not saying its bad or anything,cause you do not have much choice...but from Immigration point of view and stand point,you'll be better of,to be sent home to Germany.

    My tip is, do not let it happen so you'll be on a immigration list aka court oder meaning facing immigration judge etc..

    And the advice someone gave you "call ins for tips" is the worst idea someone could give.
    Any attorney would advice you not to do so,since they are A not requiered to give you an honest answer,nor would they give you any advice,if they do,think twice about...they could only refer to you to a immigration lawyer where u could get help etc...

  10. #10
    Hello,

    it is not really the problem that I go back to Germany, I don't mind, but he won't let me take the kids. And I will not leave my children here!

    I do not live on welfare or something like that. He has got to pay enough money so I can pay my own bills. The judges desicion was not only based on my status that I am not allowed to work, but also on the medical condition our oldest son. He needs around the clock nursing. The support I receive is way less than what a full time nurse would cost him.
    When my husband brought us over here he knew that I was not able to work outside the home- it is his son, too.
    I did work in Germany- from home.
    Well, I looked for a immigration lawyer, but it seems there is none in my area. Does anyone know a attorney in Indiana.

    BTW, I do have a social security card.

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