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Thread: Courts say I have to choose between Adopting my Grandson or my Foreign Fiance/Please Help!

  1. #1
    I really need any advice that is out there, Please. I am so hurt and so torn that I just don't know what to do.

    I have raised my grandchild since he was just a baby. I have had custody of him for over a year and a half now under SRS. The courts are telling me that if I bring my Foreign Fiance over then I will not be allowed to adopt my grandson or get Legal Permanent Guardianship because then they would not be able to do a back ground check for security on my Fiance since he is from another country. He has resided in three countries and they said they would need to check all three of these. He is Muslim and originally from Morocco. They have already labeled him as a terrorist and didn't hesitate to tell it to my face.

    Please, please anyone. My heart is so broken. I just don't know what to do. I can't choose over two people who are the most important people in my life over the other.

    I told the courts that he has to have official papers and documents to be able to come over in the first place and asked them if this would work. You know what they asked me?????? How will they know if those papers would be official or not?

    I know that this is a really deep and complicated request, but I am just hoping someone with a little knowledge will stumble over my post and will be able to give me anything, just anything to help me get started in being able to prove he does not have a police record or criminal background in which they would accept.

    I have to make a decision very soon or I may loose my grandson "( "( "(

    So Sad and Hurting!

  2. #2
    I really need any advice that is out there, Please. I am so hurt and so torn that I just don't know what to do.

    I have raised my grandchild since he was just a baby. I have had custody of him for over a year and a half now under SRS. The courts are telling me that if I bring my Foreign Fiance over then I will not be allowed to adopt my grandson or get Legal Permanent Guardianship because then they would not be able to do a back ground check for security on my Fiance since he is from another country. He has resided in three countries and they said they would need to check all three of these. He is Muslim and originally from Morocco. They have already labeled him as a terrorist and didn't hesitate to tell it to my face.

    Please, please anyone. My heart is so broken. I just don't know what to do. I can't choose over two people who are the most important people in my life over the other.

    I told the courts that he has to have official papers and documents to be able to come over in the first place and asked them if this would work. You know what they asked me?????? How will they know if those papers would be official or not?

    I know that this is a really deep and complicated request, but I am just hoping someone with a little knowledge will stumble over my post and will be able to give me anything, just anything to help me get started in being able to prove he does not have a police record or criminal background in which they would accept.

    I have to make a decision very soon or I may loose my grandson "( "( "(

    So Sad and Hurting!

  3. #3
    I don't know much about adoption, but is there a possibility that you could get the adoption out of the way first, and then apply for the K-1 for your fiance. Given these circumstanes, I am sure he would be willing to wait.

  4. #4
    Michael
    Guest
    Unless the grandson is really good in bed and you don't mind sharing a cell with Michael Jackson, I would choose the fiance

  5. #5
    Come on Michael - this woman does not know you...and cannot appreciate the humour in all of this!

  6. #6
    Sheham:

    Please give a little more information. What is SRS? When you say "the courts" who are you talking about? If you'll answer my questions, I'll try to help.

    Okie Celt

  7. #7
    The only reason I can tink of that would make it impossible for you to sponsor two people would be that you're not making enough money. I don't see why the clearance for one would matter in the others, either they're clear or they're not, why would it matter if one is and the other then can't clear or not??

    That's where I'm confused; but first Micahel, I think Saheem is a male because a grandmother would never choose a "fiancee" over a grandchild. In my opinion a blood relative should always proceed anything else, there is also the aging out factor. Once that grandchild turns 18 it won't be possible to adopt him. Fiancees will come and go as always... so it's your choice... I realy don't see where the connection is between having to make a decision other than that you can't support two aliens financially, otherwise it's pretty clear, isn't it?

  8. #8
    I dont think the guardian has any right to tell you who you can or cant marry unless its proven he is a danger to the child. Being muslim doesnt mean they are guilty by virtue of religion. With that logic they could assume that the pope is a child molester because of all those other priests who were found guilty of molestation. You could further assume all child star pop singers who have undergone massive plastic sugery are child molesters, and all elvis impersonators use drugs. Its just ridiculous logic. I would get a great civil liberties union lawyer, one with a last name that ends in 'stein' is my suggestion. Its just not legal for that type discrimination.

  9. #9
    Julie:

    I didn't read into her post that she would be denied adoption- just that they could not get the background check on her fiance, who presumably would be living with the child in the home. I don't know if such background check is typical in adoption cases.. maybe in her area it is...maybe there has been some financial instability and the child protective services are wondering how stable she will be with the child as a permanent guardian especially with an intending immigrant fiance who will also need support.

  10. #10
    Your situation is very difficult but I don't believe insurmountable. You do need an attorney - this is way too complicated not to retain an attorney. The courts need to be made aware that the immigration process is now in the hands of the Bureau of Homeland Security and the fiance is checked through the FBI - they are less of a risk to the child than someone in the US. They are only concerned for the welfare of the child - remember that.

    If all else fails I would do what was previously suggested and allow the adoption to proceed and become finalized then petition for your fiance. You should not have to "choose" - having them all together will build a lovely family. Good luck to you and don't give up or get discouraged - get tough!!!!

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