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Thread: How to get Girlfriend to US??

  1. #1
    I have met a girl from a foreign country, she is married, but separated, and wishes for an annulment in her country(Philippines). We both want to get her here so she can work, and we can marry. What actions should we take? Should we try to get her a work Visa, to get here, and then work on her annulment after she arrives?, and get married after that process? And I can't find the cost of these actions anywhere. Neither of us have very much money, is there any type of financial help for these actions? Does anyone no of my situation??

  2. #2
    I have been thinking that I'm being set up. or could it be that she doesn't know the laws herself?
    So, with that being said......would I be better off suggesting to her that we should just try for a work Visa to the US instead, and just be together that way, without being married? And are there any tell tell signs that she is playing me??

    Thanks,
    Jeffrey.

  3. #3
    Originally posted by jeffrey13:
    I have been thinking that I'm being set up. or could it be that she doesn't know the laws herself?
    So, with that being said......would I be better off suggesting to her that we should just try for a work Visa to the US instead, and just be together that way, without being married? And are there any tell tell signs that she is playing me??

    Thanks,
    Jeffrey.


    Well as one poster suggested, Tell her that you will move to the phillipines to be with her and live there. See how she handles that one.

  4. #4
    Originally posted by jeffrey13:
    I have met a girl from a foreign country, she is married, but separated, and wishes for an annulment in her country(Philippines). We both want to get her here so she can work, and we can marry. What actions should we take? Should we try to get her a work Visa, to get here, and then work on her annulment after she arrives?, and get married after that process? And I can't find the cost of these actions anywhere. Neither of us have very much money, is there any type of financial help for these actions? Does anyone no of my situation??
    Staying away from the "you are being set up"s syndrome, you will be unable to bring her over on a fiancee visa as long as she is married.

    Davdah is right about no divorce in the Philippines; however, if she is Catholic and if certain conditions are met, not necessarily being Muslim or a foreigner, it is possible for her to bet an annulment through the Catholic Church, which is also recognized by the state. But it is a long, grueling process.
    "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

  5. #5
    eff, being that you were targeted by what appears to be a scammer and it has gone on this long you need to take a step back from the keyboard
    Davdah,
    Being that she told him that she is married, but separated, I am unsure if he is being set up. More than likely, she got into a bad marriage, found a guy, the OP, whom she now likes and wants to live as far away from "her current" husband.

    Furthermore, your "suggestions" are not even remotely accurate. For example, ask for special pics. This could include parties, family events, etc. And yet, if she sends them you ask the guy to wolk, If she does not, the guy will think she is being unfaithful.

    Even though I agree with you about sending money, this suggestion applies to any and all situations whether you are meeting someone from across the United States or the globe. Thus, not exclusivity to being set up or other innuendo you are suggesting.

    Some women do not although you might find this hard to believe. To simply suggest that if she does not cook, it is a scam is absolutely ludicrous. They should find things they have in common rather than dwell on what you prescribe as possible fraud. But then again, how many times have you been divorced there Davdah.
    "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

  6. #6
    Originally posted by jeffrey13:
    I have met a girl from a foreign country, she is married, but separated, and wishes for an annulment in her country(Philippines). We both want to get her here so she can work, and we can marry. What actions should we take? Should we try to get her a work Visa, to get here, and then work on her annulment after she arrives?, and get married after that process? And I can't find the cost of these actions anywhere. Neither of us have very much money, is there any type of financial help for these actions? Does anyone no of my situation??
    Jeffrey,
    I found something that might be of interest to you. Here are the grounds for annulment:

    1. Lack of parental consent in certain cases. If a party is 18 years or over, but below 21, and the marriage was solemnized without the consent of the parents/guardian. However, the marriage is validated if, upon reaching 21, the spouses freely cohabited with the other and both lived together as husband and wife.

    2. Insanity. A marriage may be annulled if, at the time of marriage, either party was of unsound mind, unless such party after coming to reason, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife.

    3. Fraud. The consent of either party was obtained by fraud, unless such party afterwards, with full knowledge of the facts constituting the fraud, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife. Fraud includes: (i) non-disclosure of a previous conviction by final judgment of the other party of a crime involving moral turpitude; (ii) concealment by the wife of the fact that at the time of the marriage, she was pregnant by a man other than her husband; (iii) concealment of sexually transmissible disease or STD, regardless of its nature, existing at the time of the marriage; or (iv) concealment of drug addiction, habitual alcoholism or homosexuality or *******ism existing at the time of the marriage. However, no other misrepresentation or deceit as to character, health, rank, fortune or chastity shall constitute such fraud as will give grounds for action for the annulment of marriage.

    4. Force, intimidation or undue influence. If the consent of either party was obtained by any of these means, except in cases wherein the force, intimidation or undue influence having disappeared or ceased, the complaining party thereafter freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife.

    5. Impotence. At the time of marriage, either party was physically incapable of consummating the marriage with the other, and such incapacity continues and appears to be incurable. Impotence is different from being infertile.

    6. STD. If, at the time of marriage, either party was afflicted with a sexually-transmissible disease found to be serious and appears to be incurable. If the STD is not serious or is curable, it may still constitute fraud (see No. 3 above).
    Source

    As you can see, it is possible for her to get an annulment based on the following conditions. Her main problem may be a lack of money to pursue the annulment, which puts you in a quandry. As 4now suggested, if it is possible, go there and stay with her for a while to get to know her and her family and friends. Her friends would be very valuable to know the whole situation with her husband. Good luck to you.
    "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

  7. #7
    Originally posted by davdah:
    Missed the mark there Hudson. One of the more popular on line scams is for women to claim they are in some sort of abusive relationship and need someone to rescue them.

    Usually it involves sending money to get them out of the abusers home. Hiring an attorney for the divorce, etc, etc,... Many guys fall for this. Preying on the good nature and need of the guy to 'prove' his affections.


    You don't know what 'special' pics are? You are out of touch, LOL.

    If a women doesn't know how to cook why marry her? We can agree to disagree on this but it is a traditional role that should be maintained. Same applies to doing laundry.
    No where did the OP state she is in an abusive relationship. You were the one that perpetrated that line of thinking, not the OP. Again, if this was a scam, she would have chosen someone with a little bit more dinero or moolah. As the OP said, he does nto have that much moeny. Although I agree not to send money until he meets here personally, after that, it would be a conscience decision by the OP based on trust.

    Again, nothing in the OP's statement is suggesting fruad. You, on the other hand, is bent on this fraud thing. But then again, all Californians , such as yourself, are fraudsters. right Davdah.
    "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

  8. #8
    Originally posted by davdah:
    With the abusive relationship I wouldn't expect him to divulge the content of conversations he's had with her. I would suspect based on the fact she is married and fooling around with this guy she had to justify her infidelity somehow. What better way than, 'he hits me'. 'he gets drunk and fools around all the time'. I would bet he has heard at least one of these lines.

    Concerning money our line of poverty is still a gold mine in their eyes. It is a common mistake thinking that since a person doesn't have much they aren't a target. Quite the opposite actually. The scammers usually avoid the well to do since more money sense is assumed. The easy victims are those that aren't watchful to begin with.

    The fraud is by virtue of the fact she can't get a divorce to begin with. Even with the obtuse circumstances that permit it. The likely case is she is like the average person married to the average guy. Not eligible for divorce. Therefor a scammer. In California we don't scam. We speculate.
    Davdah, do you make this stuff up as you go along or do you recite the Idiot's guide of make believe paranoia?

    Again, nothing in the OP's post hints about fraud, but you causing doubt to develop in the Ip's mind. You are just as bad as Federale86 when it comes to this stuff.

    Again, there are plausible reasons why she has not gotten the annulment. It is not only expensive, but favors the males in avoiding annulment proceedings. And although divorce can be detrimental to both sides, I sure hope the Philippines will allow divorce to be more accessible.

    What we do not know, and maybe the OP, is the circumstances why the husband left. Maybe he is impotent or maybe he had an affair with the girl next door or maybe he wants to marry your sister. But in any event, you are seeing things that are not actually there.
    "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

  9. #9
    Jeffrey13,

    Ask lots of questions!!!
    Or as others mention go and marry her In the phillipines. Suggest it? see the response? Annuhlment Easier If you Go to Phillippines Personally, and Work with the church Yourself also. Do Not Rush It!!
    USC and Legal, Honest Immigrant Alike Must Fight Against Those That Deceive and Disrupt A Place Of Desirability! All Are Victims of Fraud, Both USC and Honest Immigrant Alike! The bad can and does make it more difficult for the good! Be careful who y

  10. #10
    Originally posted by davdah:
    I take it you have never been involved with or been associated with a situation like this.

    As it stands now the laws are clear in PI. Its expensive. But only for the purpose of making it from difficult to impossible in an effort to keep families intact.

    No reason was given by the OP for separation. But it should be noted that the OP was ignorant of the laws in PI. That was red flag one.

    Since they have a relationship of sorts it stands to reason there should have been some discussion concerning her inability to legally and legitimately be with him. Obviously that never took place.

    It should also be assumed she is well aware of those laws that pertain to her immediate situation. Since part of the process involves the church and mandatory counseling. Even in separation. Again, if it were true. Since the OP is unaware of this the girl withheld those facts from him.

    That is how the dots are connected. The why and who the husband did isn't relevant due to the girl withholding pertinent information from the OP.

    The last red flag. I think this post is a hoax but it is an interesting debating point.
    Davdah,
    do not presume anything. Just because you went through this once does not mean every situation is fraudulent. Furthermore, when you have a nation of young people who cannot identify correctly where China is on the map or to correctly answer common civics questions accurately, not knowing Philipino law is very plausible. I even doubt most Yale or Harvard law grad students do not know Filipino law either, but at least they know where to look.

    The point being is that you, and only you, were the one who perpetrated this fantasy of yours. Again, if you came into my office 12 years ago, you would have fell into two categories, liar or cheater. But luckily, I have outgrown that childish narcissistic attitude.
    "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

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