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Marital Issue

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  • Marital Issue

    I am an Indian national here in US under L1 visa. Last year I met a white American woman and after dating her for aboout 8 months we got married last April. Then I filed I-130. I was very happy for a while but not anymore. I found out that she is having an affair with another man. What do I do? I love my wife, she is beautiful, blonde and has **** blue eyes. She is pregnant but I am not sure if the child is mine. Should I keep quiet until I get my green card or should I file for divorce?

  • #2
    deport illegal aliens


    • #3
      Boy its my luck today im finding stories similar to mine. Look, how long have you two been together? Almost more then a year right coz i got married last May. How much longer do u think it will take u to get the green card with the condition removed. She sure put u in a **** situation. My hubby did the same to me, well not as nasty like that, but abused me and played manipulative games so i ran away. Im scared to divorce him and IM the american lol. Because i know how hard it would be to pack everything up and go back to India. And i also know that he might also get me into trouble. Just as you can do to your wife. Prove shes having the affairs to bcis. With whatever proofs you can come up with. Perhaps U can stay, however after getting the divorce but i think you would really have to nail her, being that shes american.
      Isnt life grand. ;/


      • #4


        • #5
          deport illegal aliens


          • #6
            I am not sure if telling BCIS that my wife is having an affair will do me any good. First I have to prove it, which is not easy. Even if I could provide proof, there is no guarantee the my green card can proceed. Second, I'm ready to forgive my wife and I am hoping that she will stop seeing this man. I mean I want both, to have my wife back and to be an American citizen. Is that too much to ask?


            • #7
              I don't know why, I'm not American but I think cheating and having affair with other ppl even they are married is a 'culture' things for American ppl (pardon if I'm wrong), but 8 of 10 of them cheating to their partners. Even they looked normal, sometimes the wife bi-***. I went to a friend's wedding one day and while waiting at the hotel lobby for dinner, I overheard my friend discussing with her husband about another woman, how her body, her bla bla bla (which so private)...and later I knew she is bi-***. They even do switch partner. I think that what they call free country and free speak . So guys, your wife free to other man and other men's wife free to you too.

              I think I got to learn the wonder of American life over here. Quite a culture shock.


              • #8
                Hi. There are some people in the states that have unusual practices, such as swinging (switching partners)or at least I have heard about them on TV. Additionally, there are people that have affairs, as their are in almost every culture. But speaking from the persepctive of a USC, I have met VERY few people that tolerate cheating. It is not an acceptable practice in the USA and is far from being a cultural norm.

                Rajoo. You need to talk to your wife. She may be beautiful, but if she is going to continue being unfaithful she is just going to make you miserable in life. If she agrees and will stop seeing this man, try to get marital counseling, so you can find out exactly what is going on, and maybe fix your relationship.

                Good luck!


                • #9
                  Callie, please read my reply on the other post "need help" on this subject. Comments like your are exactly the kind of dirt my husband was being told by his "friends." It caused us much unnecessary pain. There is no "culture" that can claim all its people are honorable and faithful, just as there is no country that is completely vile and immoral. There is only each person's individual choice based on their moral code. There are many loyal and loving American couples as there are everywhere; there are also many cheating and immoral people in other countries as well as here. Please, do not perpetuate stereotypes and assumptions based on limited experience.


                  • #10
                    Rajoo, are you the Guide by R. K. Narayan? I think you are keeping your poise, and your intensions are perfectly fine, except that the woman you are in love with may cause problems later on, years down the line, even if you somehow work the problems out right now.

                    And I don't feel that she is at fault, evolution tells her to shop around for good genes. That is women are nore inclined/compelled to cheat, although men do it more often than men.

                    You cannot tell the BCIS that your wife is cheating. BCIS is not a devorce court, and they won't be sympathetic to you even if the child she will bear is not yours. This is only tell them that you don't have a proper marriage with a USC and that you don't have the basis to claim GC and you will have to leave.

                    Hey if she is so beautiful, and all that J A Z Z as you claim she is, why did she marry you?

                    Well, if it is the same in every culture why are some people shocked? May be they are naive you say?

                    Cheating is everywhere but how it is treated by the people involved and the society differes considerably. And some of the kinky stuff such as bondage, sadism, swinging ect. don't happen in some counties.


                    • #11
                      Lurker, I know not all of American are like that, some of them are NOT. I didn't say 100% of them. Likely 80%. I don't want to say much, but can you tell me how many countries have these kind of shows:- (I do not give my statement upon shows, it just the example).

                      1. Jerry Springer
                      2. Maury
                      3. Divorce Court
                      4. Montel
                      5. Bachelor / Bachelorette and many more...

                      Well, sorry to say, I was shocked and glued for the first month infront of the TV coz' was shocked with how ppl can get naked and screaming and 'I Do not know whose the father of my child' kind of things. Now I stopped watching these kind of stuff. Just thinking its good to learn new things whats going on in the society and keep wondering. I know every places have those problems, but its not that bad and uncontrol like here. As you said...FREE country . So do everything as you wish just don't forget to pay tax.


                      • #12
                        Speak to a good lawyer about staying here if divorce was the way to go.


                        • #13
                          Not every American lives the way day time television portrays american life. Lot of american don't even care about the stuff shown on TV. However vile those shows are the people who live like that and who enjoy those shows are a minority.

                          The foreingners, especially moslims, who see these for the first time think that almost every american lives like that or some aspect of his or her life is like it is shown on day time TV.

                          Actully, that A S S Bin Layden, and other a s s fundametalists probably got encouraged that american society is decaying because of what is on the day time television. I am glad that those fellows a s s es got kicked.

                          When you think about it, things can be a lot worse in America: The day I see too many American women turn prudish and veilled I stop wanting/being American. However despicable ugly Americanism is to a foreigner, it is worse to be like the foreigner.


                          • #14
                            UA is right that it is a minority that both watch and live that way. And an even smaller minority go on those inane shows, for attention that I guess they don't get in their real lives. We don't have cable, never have, never will, which is a shame 'cuz my kids would love to have the Disney channel or Nickelodeon and I'd take Discovery and CNN if we could avoid getting the whole scummy package. For TV we watch ER on Thursdays, football in the fall, and Seinfeld before bed.

                            My husband's brother has Univision - the latin daytime soaps look just as bad as ours!

                            I am not saying we are perfect. But I think the predominance of junk is in a strange way a commentary on how hung up and prudish we still are in many ways on the subject of s e x. When the first waves of Europeans got here they in large part were quite religious (you've heard of Puritans?) There is still a puritanical current that is very strong; the s e x focus to me seems like how a child acts out to see what it would be like to disobey their parents, to see if he can get away with it.

                            Another problem is since it is a free market economy, those making the shows pander to the ones watching - which ends up influencing for the worst the **** that's on TV. If show creators know that most of their avid viewers are 'give me my beer and bring on the smut' kinds of folks - that's who they write for.


                            • #15
                              I am surprised by the reactions of many readers
                              of my problem. At first I blamed myself for her affair -- I thought she was not satisfied in bed with me. I did not realize that many believe adultery is common here in the united states. Had I known about this, I probably would not marry an american.