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  • to SAMMY or ARQU/ I751 issues

    SAMMY and ARQU it's nioce to have you both here. I've learned a lot. My case is getting worse. This is spikke by the way. My USC wife cheated on me and is treating me bad (I am not sure if that is mental cruelty but for sure I suffer and I want to cry sometimes) and she also keeps telling me "ha-ha but you can't leave me till you get your green card". I really want to divorce her, but I am afraid that it's a bad think that I AM initiating the divorce, and also I have no proof that she is insulting me and yelling at me abou everything. As far as the cheating I don't have proof except for her saying she did and the obvious disinterest in *** with me, her never even kissing or touching me, her insulting me and demeaning me. She said that she'll admit that she cheated on me in court...But I don't know how it will work out and if that is enough. I really have been thru alot and I want to end it but I don't want to go back home, for I have no friends there and I abandoned my education...I want to divorce her and experience the happiness of actually being free in the US

  • #2
    SAMMY and ARQU it's nioce to have you both here. I've learned a lot. My case is getting worse. This is spikke by the way. My USC wife cheated on me and is treating me bad (I am not sure if that is mental cruelty but for sure I suffer and I want to cry sometimes) and she also keeps telling me "ha-ha but you can't leave me till you get your green card". I really want to divorce her, but I am afraid that it's a bad think that I AM initiating the divorce, and also I have no proof that she is insulting me and yelling at me abou everything. As far as the cheating I don't have proof except for her saying she did and the obvious disinterest in *** with me, her never even kissing or touching me, her insulting me and demeaning me. She said that she'll admit that she cheated on me in court...But I don't know how it will work out and if that is enough. I really have been thru alot and I want to end it but I don't want to go back home, for I have no friends there and I abandoned my education...I want to divorce her and experience the happiness of actually being free in the US

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    • #3
      Do not leave until you get a decision on your I751. It may look easy to leave like ARQU did, but dont follow his advice, unless you are open to going back to your country.

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      • #4
        the thing is that I have 1 year to filing I 751!!! Too much torture...

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        • #5
          Yes just be patient. I know its hard, but you need to do so. Always finish what you start. Never leave things hanging. NEVER!!

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          • #6
            I agreed with Halali here. Sometimes, it's better to compromise with the situation for good output, and even though she is laughing you in a demeaning way, you need to be in patience because good things happen to those who wait. Once, you get green card, divorce her and marry someone else. You can always find nice person who will love you and respect you. This is only way, you can be even with her, but you have to play diplomacy here until you get yr green card, and not like ARQUA, because you need to think by your brain instead of your heart. Best of all.

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            • #7
              If you keep your eyes set on where you are going, you will get there.

              If I were you, I would find something to do like go to school, get another degree etc. You wont believe how fast time flies.

              But if you sit there and count day after another, it will look like decades.

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              • #8
                You cannot file your I-751 with a waiver unless your divorce is final. That is one thing that they have clarified in a memo.

                So unless you are sure your divorce will be FINAL, you don't have any realistic options other than toughing it out. Some of these folks may not realize what it is like to be in a bad marriage where your whole life is being held hostage by someone who turned out different than they were before you got married...

                What is not clear is what happens if it all falls apart after your I-751 is filed but before it is processed... In my case, I had no choice but to leave. But the I-751 had been filed several months before.

                It is interesting how people are quick to point the finger at someone like me and make accusation of legitamicy of my marriage while they tell people to lie to everyone and remain in a terrible situation just until the papers are finished... Which is more fraudulant?

                I happen to think I am using my head and not my heart. I am smart enough what happens to a person's self-esteem and mental well-being when they are manipulated and controlled with no recourse. Nothing is worth questioning your very existance over - not even USC.

                So, perhaps I am gambling a bit - although how can you call it a gamble when there are no options or procedures in place to deal with an every increasing issue... Until the goverment determines internal policy, nobody - not Sammy nor I - can tell anyone how the BCIS is going to deal with this problem that is growing every day. I suspect that we will see a memo issued by them in the very near future detailing their position on this situation...

                So - back to your point. If you leave now, you have little chance. If you wait, file the I-751 and then leave, your chance will be greater (but not assured). If you tough it out, you probably will get your GC (if you are eligible) but you might not like who you have become...

                It is all, obviously, up to you....

                ARQU

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                • #9
                  ARQU its all in the mind.

                  If you can be patient and have your sight on what you hope to achieve, you will be better off than just trying to reason out that getting out before you get the I751 decision makes sense.

                  I think the best thing is to fight it out and get your I751 decision before leaving.

                  One thing you forgot to say as you did the other time is that you-ARQU-have opportunities outside this country. Other people dont, and they would rather stick it out with the "devil they know" than wander into the unknowns and the unforgiving BCIS.

                  I think if everyone learns their spouse and they be patient, they can make it. Thats life.

                  Why start on something, spend all your energies on it then end worse off than you started?

                  If you can not salvage the marriage, cutting your losses reasonably entails getting the only positive from the marriage, which is what you did not have at the start.

                  That is not fraud, and it is the correct thing to do. Anyone, even a BCIS officer will tell you that. A psychologist may tell you something else, but then that psychologist will be a USC or anti-immigrant so they wont have a good picture of things.

                  Again, even 1 year or 2 years as you put it, cannot affect your personality, unless you did not have one in the first place.

                  I think ARQU took a risk that he tries to justify every time. I just dont see why you can wait to file the I751 then leave. Why waste the time? what were you waiting for?

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