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    Hello. I am apologize for the long message, but I need some answers badly.
    I am a ukrainian immigrant with 2 kids, came in USA on a fiance visa. I've got married within 30 days as I suppose to, but my husband (UScitizen) didn't fill out any papers (Permanent Residence & Employment Authorization...) and not going to.
    I'm in US 6 months already. My visa has expired & I am here illegaly. I don't have a SSN, so I can't get no job & no drivers license to go and work even for a little cash (my husband doesn't wants to drive me nowhere). HE abuses me & my kids, but, Thank God, not physically. Right now he wants to get rid of this marriage & wants me to sign separation papers.
    I want to stay in US. Could I stay Here after divorse? Should I sigh the separation papers or it could hurt me?
    I do not want to file for the "foodstamps", free Medical servise & staff like that.
    If I could stay in US even illegaly, can I make HIM to pay my bills through the law? If I do, then how? Because I, probably, couldn't afford this life for first time.
    Please, help me. I would really appreciate if y'all answer my questions. It will really help me.
    Thank you.

  • #2
    Hello. I am apologize for the long message, but I need some answers badly.
    I am a ukrainian immigrant with 2 kids, came in USA on a fiance visa. I've got married within 30 days as I suppose to, but my husband (UScitizen) didn't fill out any papers (Permanent Residence & Employment Authorization...) and not going to.
    I'm in US 6 months already. My visa has expired & I am here illegaly. I don't have a SSN, so I can't get no job & no drivers license to go and work even for a little cash (my husband doesn't wants to drive me nowhere). HE abuses me & my kids, but, Thank God, not physically. Right now he wants to get rid of this marriage & wants me to sign separation papers.
    I want to stay in US. Could I stay Here after divorse? Should I sigh the separation papers or it could hurt me?
    I do not want to file for the "foodstamps", free Medical servise & staff like that.
    If I could stay in US even illegaly, can I make HIM to pay my bills through the law? If I do, then how? Because I, probably, couldn't afford this life for first time.
    Please, help me. I would really appreciate if y'all answer my questions. It will really help me.
    Thank you.

    Comment


    • #3
      It really hurts, how you are being treated. First of all you should try to save you marriage and try to stick with him and persue him to sponsor you and your kids. If you will leave now or get divorce, you will get nothing. Do not sign any papers for separation or divorce.
      Did he sponsored your kids alongwith you as fiance? If he did then he is responsible for your maintenance and that of your kids.
      Once your petition is filed then you might be eligible to get benefit as a Battered Woman. If your husband physically abuses you or tries to throw out of the house, just call police and get proper help.
      Good luck.

      Comment


      • #4
        Maria,

        Why wouldn't he want to file for your papers ? he married you though didn't he ?
        try to communicate with him or try to have a friend of yours or a member of your family or his intervene. he shoudn't be doing this to you..bringing you here with yours kids, marrying you then doing nothing about it...
        are thoses kids his ? if yes then I think this can help you build a case for the INS in case of a divorce. try to see some lawyers...some offer free consultations
        I am really wishing you all the best luck that you need...

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you very much for your Understanding. I am so glad that somebody can help me even if we don't know each other.
          No. He doesn't abuse us physically, he knows that police can burn his a.. . But he screams all the time on us, doesn't let me cook & clean and then he screams that I'm a lazy a.. . He does many many things that make me sick, but I should bite my tonque. AND, by the way, he's a big drinker. Never been married, never had no kids and he just hates mine. When I was in Ukraine, he promised to care about me & my kids. I've never seen so big jurk in my hole life.
          I don't think I can save this marriage, because he wants this badly. He, also, said: if I wouldn't sigh the separation papers he'll turn my life on hell.
          No. He did not sponsored me & my kids. About 3 weeks from marriage his Attorney said, that he's not really responsible for us until he fill out our papers.
          I do not believe anything that he sais. It should be something. The people like us shoud have some rights. But I don't know what exactly.
          So, if you, guys, will find out, what I can do in this situation, LORD!, I would never forget this.
          Many thanks!

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank God, he doesn't know nothing about computers.
            So, computer - it's my soul.

            Comment


            • #7
              You mean: Did he sponsored us before marriage?
              Yes, ser. He did.
              Thank you again!

              Comment


              • #8
                Sorry to hear this.

                It does not seem that you can get any immigration benefits through your spouse, as he must be the one to petition for you.

                You may be able to adjust status as a battered spouse. I highly doubt though that you can do it without serious legal help.

                Try to find an immigration attorney ASAP.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You are really having a hard time and I applaud you for your courage so far. There may be a way you can go ahead with your residency application without your husbands support based on abuse - physical, sexual or other forms of abuse.
                  Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 for more information on VAWA. VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) is a new law available to women whose abusive husbands are US citizens or lawful permanent residents. It permits these women to obtain lawful permanaent residency without the cooperation of their husbands. Because there are limitations, FIRST speak to an immigration attorney about it.
                  God bless you and your family.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank all of you for your care, understanding & advices. That's helps a lot.
                    Maybe y'all know some kind of WEB site, where I can find any laws for me & learn this more deeply.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Dear Maria,

                      My heart goes out to you. You may not see it as such, but your husband is a drunk and a wife abuser. He has not filed any papers for you (he was supposed to do it as soon as you two were married) because he wants to keep you and your children in control. If you go to the police, he might threaten to turn you in to INS. That's how he utilizes your currently illegal status. Sadly, your story is not unique and has played itself many times in this country thanks to the blossoming business of mail-order brides. It makes no difference that he "only" abuses you verbally; it will get worse if you stay with him. It always does. check the website of National Family Violence Hotline http://www.ndvh.org/ or call them at 1-800-799-7233. They will help put you in touch with a local organization that can help you out of this mess. Those organizations have a lot of experience dealing with cases like yours and they will not only tell you how to document indicents of abuse, but will also help you find way out and arrange free legal help with your immigration status. I think what they will recommend is that you file for permanent residency as an abused woman because you are eligible to do that.

                      I am a volunteer for one such organization and everything I wrote here I know from talking with women like you. Do not wait.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        MARIA, is going home an option? Why is husband acting this way?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I really appreciate you, guys, for your help, advises & information.
                          I do not know why this man acting me, I just know one thing: he wants to get rid of me & my kids, because he's sick, wild & very greedy man.
                          As he said, he realized, that he doesn't wants family no more, that he needs to buy more food than for one person, that he needs to spend in 3 times more money as he used to.
                          I am afraid to live with him, because of my kids. I have 2 beautiful girls (14 & 17 yrs old) & he doesn't look on them as on a kids and I'm not the first person who see that. I am sure you understand what I'm saying.
                          Maybe he expected some kind of serves from the 3rd world. I have no idea. Sadly, that I understood this just not while ago, not before I came over in his house.
                          Anyway, I'm going to do something for our safety.
                          Thanks all of you for your help.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Assuming that you have family back in your country and assuming that you know so little about America, life as a single American Mom with skills, a good education, and a good job is tough enough... I can't imagine why you wouldn't be better off going back home ??? You are now illegal, and the situation is going to get even worse if you're caught. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Assuming,
                              I understand your point of view, coming from an American perspective.
                              However telling Maria to go back home may be as bad as throwing her back into abject poverty! At least here she has a chance to make something of herself - even if its working at McD's 20 hrs a week! In many countries, that is what she would earn in a month, with still the same family to take care of...

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