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  • Help Needed

    Hi,
    Looking for some help and advice in a sticky situation. I am a non-US citizen currently in the US on a marriage basis, with my initial 2 year permanent resident card about to expire in September. Me and my wife are currently going through divorce and she just told me she doesn't want me to stay in the US anymore, and if I don't leave on my own accord she will tell the INS our marriage was a sham. Which we both know it wasn't. I have never abused or mistreated her, I have no police record so she can't hold that against me. I have no intention of leaving the US since I have a good job, a large social network, and I believe this is where my future is. Any ideas or suggestions on how to go about this?

    Thanks,
    A

  • #2
    Hi,
    Looking for some help and advice in a sticky situation. I am a non-US citizen currently in the US on a marriage basis, with my initial 2 year permanent resident card about to expire in September. Me and my wife are currently going through divorce and she just told me she doesn't want me to stay in the US anymore, and if I don't leave on my own accord she will tell the INS our marriage was a sham. Which we both know it wasn't. I have never abused or mistreated her, I have no police record so she can't hold that against me. I have no intention of leaving the US since I have a good job, a large social network, and I believe this is where my future is. Any ideas or suggestions on how to go about this?

    Thanks,
    A

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    • #3
      Get yourself a lawyer if you can afford one for a start. Amass as much evidence as you can regarding your life together to prove it wasn't a shame, e.g. photo's, correspondence between you both (if any) while dating and married, etc, etc. Ask your friends who knew you both during the marriage if they would be willing to write sworn affidavits saying they had gone out with you two together on social occaissions etc.

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      • #4
        An interview is conducted under oath and if she testifies that a marriage was a sham you're screwed.

        If she doesn't attend the interview and you gather all the documentary evidence you might have a chance.

        Hiring a lawyer is just a waist of time and money as he/she will tell you the same thing for, well, about 100 bucks an hour.

        Comment


        • #5
          I have plenty of evidence, including photos, letters, joint leases, bank statements, other financial savings vehicles etc. I would also have no problem getting friends to write affidavits. In the event of her testifying, wouldn't it still be her word against mine? She has no evidence. She's already sworn under oath once, when I received my initial greencard.

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          • #6
            Hi Andrew, IM in the same situation as you..Actually its the other way around in my situation, I married him out of love and after almost a year and a half i want to divorce out of irreconcilable differences because we didnt get along even tho we never hurt eachother, we were just too different ( culture clash, etc.) i Want to ask you a question. Were you married to that gal for 2 years coz the husband is telling me to get out of divorcin' that we need ta be together for 2 years before i can file, and i feel sad and helpless because i want to date other ppl and get on with my life. He said that we have to go to another interview next year but i just dont want to deal with it so i ran away and have been staying with my family for about a month and im afraid to go back to him. Is it true u have to be married for 2 years? And also he said if he files for divorce hes going to screw my a$$ by saying that i ran away and get me in trouble with the bcis even tho im the usc!

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            • #7
              I'm not taking sides here, because I don't know you or andrew999.
              You can divorce your husband NOW, he just wants you to stay married for two years so that he can get his conditions removed from his GC providing you stay married to him and go to the next interview. It's up to you if you want to help him out, but it seems to me that you don't. Your husband can try and do what andrew999 is trying to and make his case to BCIS without your co-operation.

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              • #8
                Thanks for the info. Yeah i didnt know that being married to him for 2 more years makes it more convenient for him, but its a hardship for me because im really young and i dont know much about marriage/divorce things especially in this feild. Sometimes i think i will be better off divorcing him because i can get on with my life but i feel selfish because it will cause him a hardship as well, if he gets deported. And im a good hearted person and id hate to see that happen to anybody so right now im struggling to make up my mind what would be better for me. Because if i stay married to him for another year its good for him, But it will slow down things for me because im not even living with him since im at family's now, but i still feel tied down, I wish there was a miracle way out of this. I havent a dime to my name, i havent asked him for a thing. Cant even afford a lawyer if i wanted to serve him with papers. Its a mess lol

                Comment


                • #9
                  You don't have to get him deported. I don't know how it works if you do divorce before the two years, somebody else here might know, I guess if you want to help him you could go to the interview even after you are divorced and say that the marriage was genuine but it just fell apart. He may not be deported, but if you can't even talk to each other about anything at the moment then I guess you are both stuck. I don't know about divorce either especially when there is no contact between the parties involved and if you can't afford a lawyer. You can get a divorce without paying a fortune, but only if he is willing to agree to it and he's not going to.
                  Wish you all the very best.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    deport illegal aliens

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      When my husband and I got married we were in for a rude shock regarding just how deep the culture clash can be; lucky for us we rode it out and are so thankful to still be together. There was never a question of love, but we had huge fights due to misunderstandings (literally misunderstanding words or interpreting based on what we know a word to mean in our own language when the other person was speaking 1st grade Spanish or English and didn't have a clue what they just conveyed through misuse of a phrase). Even more annoying to me was that his "friends" initially made him feel insecure by questioning my, well, behavior, I guess. I am 5'6" and slender, blonde/blue eyed all that good old american j***; I am college-educated and older than him, outgoing, friendly and outspoken. To all that I say "so what?" - I am extremely in love with him and completely loyal. However in his culture, women do not smile and say "hi" to a man or have male acquaintances unless they are sleeping with them - at least that seems to be the solid belief down there (Ecuador). We had raging fights about his expectations of my behavior, dress, etc vs MY expectations of two equals in a marriage partnership. I also went through some self doubt as to his motivation for marrying me, which I wrote about on another post here awhile ago.

                      Anyway. All this is to say I do not know your situations, only know that the first year of marriage can be extremely hard for ANYONE even without age/language/culture/legal issues, not to mention financial and lately, political. We knew in the midst of the worst times that we loved each other; when I may have doubted his love for me I never doubted mine for him, and vice versa. THAT, and the commitment we made to each other, is what saw us through those times. Now we are grateful every day that we rode the storm out. He is everything and more I could have wanted in a husband, and he treats me like a princess, only NOT the kind who has to sit on her little feminine throne!

                      I do hope you all can work out a solution that is right. Best of luck to you.

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                      • #12
                        Had no idea j a z z was a swear word!!!

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                        • #13
                          *** is

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                          • #14
                            j a z z definetely is!

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                            • #15
                              Jeese. I ment to type A Z Z, which is a swear word. isn't it?

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