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  • Help! Divorcing

    Am married with a daughter. one day my wife went out with her friends and cheated on me. so, we got into fight and she called the police. Now am currently going to anger management Class, and the judge said he will take the misdimeanor out of my record if i finish my anger management program. But the problem now is, i really want to file for divorce. i don't want to stay with the lady i used to love just for green card. so, how will this effect me after my conditional(2 yrs) green card is expired? Am currently a chemical engineering student.

  • #2
    Am married with a daughter. one day my wife went out with her friends and cheated on me. so, we got into fight and she called the police. Now am currently going to anger management Class, and the judge said he will take the misdimeanor out of my record if i finish my anger management program. But the problem now is, i really want to file for divorce. i don't want to stay with the lady i used to love just for green card. so, how will this effect me after my conditional(2 yrs) green card is expired? Am currently a chemical engineering student.

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    • #3
      You should consult with an attorney.
      Generally speaking, you'd have to prove that you entered into the relationship out of love and not to obtain LPR status.
      However, if you were sentenced to anger management for domestic violence, this could have further implications. Keep in mind that even if the judge dismisses the charges, this still would count as a conviction for immigration purposes.
      Again, consult with your attorney if you need legal help.

      Comment


      • #4
        dude. i wasn't charge with domestic violence or nothing. And thinking about proving that i got into marriage with good intent is not the question, because i wasn't out of status, and i got my green card after 3 month of applying. plus i have a kid with her.

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        • #5
          What was the misdemeanor charge for?
          The above is simply an opinion. Your mileage may vary. For immigration issues, please consult an immigration attorney.

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          • #6
            they said that i hit my wife but no proff. b/c there were no hand print on my wife. she even told them to disrecard the the case but they insisted saying it was an intent something (am in a commonwealth state, they normally file charges against you even if your wife don't). i kind of forgot.

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            • #7
              "They said I hit my wife, but no proof, b/c there were no hand prints on my wife."

              So the judge DID find you guilty of commiting DV against your wife.

              Not having marks and/or prints on one's body necessarily mean DV wasn't commited at all.
              Mental, verbal and emotional abuse are also considered being forms of DV as well.

              When the police show up at a house, the first thing they do is survey the area, then question both parties separately in trying to determine if each one's versions are conflicting or not. But, if before leaving the residence, a DV police report is filed against either party, it is usually b/c something leads them to believe the accusation really ocurred.

              "I don't want to stay with the lady I used to love just for Green Card. So, how will this affect me after my conditional(2 yrs) GC is expired?"

              So if you married out of love but are no longer happy with your wife, nor longer in love with her and do not want to stay married to just for the GC, which you already have by the way; what's stopping you from leaving and divorcing her now, asap? I mean, if this is the case and all you really want is to be happy w/o her, then 1st get divorced and then worry about your GC's status afterwards. What's your true priority here? Your above statement contradicts itself.

              Are you basically outright saying that even though you want to get divorced b/c you don't love, nor are happy with her any longer, you would still stay with her anyway, just to be able to evetually lift the conditions on your GC? Was obtaining a GC through her your real, true intentions from the very beginning?

              Sure seems thay way to me.

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              • #8
                dmartmar, you try to be intelligent but you sound sooo stupid. why not divorcing her right away? you don't even know what time it happen. i will be the last thing that will stay with somebody just for green card while i have a country where i came from. Bro, life is everywhere. i know U.S is good but there are other places i can go to. A chemical Engr? come on. They will urge me to stay, Not just b/c only that i have a daughter with her, i have to think about my baby too. i cry somany night thinking about that. so, if you don't have my answer don't bother to respond, alright! i don't mess around. By the time my green card expired i will be out of school. i haven't been out of status and will never be. I like what the judge did. i was really angry so he made that decision. so don't respond if don't have an answer. Domestic violence? let it be, i know who i am. so, thanks.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Bye-bye, Mobis...don't let the door hit you on the way out of the country. Domestic violence is a no-no in America.

                  I know, I know, it was legal in your third-world country of origin, and how dare those bad Americans expect you to adhere to their norms of reasonable conduct. Don't they respect your "cultural right" to indulge in a little bit of domestic violence? Geee, they're just so inconsiderate, aren't they? (SundevilUSA's tongue is firmy implanted in his cheek as he writes this paragraph).

                  In any event, you're toast. America won't miss you.

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                  • #10
                    Don't worry, this country will do just fine with 1 less chemical engineer. Plenty of well-qualified people from China & India to name a few, that will kill to come here. And they won't have any criminal record on them.

                    So did you hit your wife or not?

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                    • #11
                      Mobis,

                      You appear to be confusing the issue. With a misdemeanor then there was a charge. Any person who commits an assault and battery against a family or household member shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.

                      The question now becomes "how will this affect your situation?".
                      The above is simply an opinion. Your mileage may vary. For immigration issues, please consult an immigration attorney.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Am married with a daughter. one day my wife went out with her friends and cheated on me. so, we got into fight and she called the police. Now am currently going to anger management Class, and the judge said he will take the misdimeanor out of my record if i finish my anger management program. But the problem now is, i really want to file for divorce. i don't want to stay with the lady i used to love just for green card. so, how will this effect me after my conditional(2 yrs) green card is expired? Am currently a chemical engineering student
                        Mobis,
                        Filing for divorce during your conditional status is a very tricky manner. It appears from your post that several issues must be considered. First, your wife's infidelity caused serious harm to your marriage situation. Second, the misdemeanor charge that is apparently in the process of being adjudicated (taken off) once the anger management class is concluded. Finally, was the true purpose of marying to get the green card or out of love?

                        I would suggest that you take your relationship to another level. I would strongly consider going through marriage counseling first before you file for divorce. The reason for this is for two apparent reasons: first, that both you and the wife need to seriously consider whether marriage can still work, and second, if divorce is apparent, then both must accept the consequences. Another subsequent reason is if divorce is recommended, then the IO would take that into consideration when approving permenant status. If you do not go through reconsiliation with a marriage counselor, then the IO may use that against you in applying for permenant status.

                        If the charge is adjudicated, ie taken off, then your record would appear to be clean. However, this may affect your application for permenant status because of your anger. However, a signed affidavit on what happened when you had your argument, may help you or hurt you. This is where the marriage counseling may help the IO make a favorable decision.

                        Finally, I think you seriously need to consider if the LPR is right for you. The feelings you have toward your wife's infidelity are natural and that is why I recommend marriage counseling. Your school may offer free service, if they have a good psychology deptartment or through their free medical services for students. You are not the only one who has gone throgh this with your same situation. I am not saying it is common, but it does happen. Good luck to you.
                        "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hudson,
                          Perpetuating a myth can sometimes render the reverse result.

                          There is no requirement by USCIS that couples attend marriage counselling, or reconcile. In fact, Mobis remaining in the marriage, when it is clear he wishes out, could be construed as using the marriage for ulterior means.

                          There is also no issue with divorcing in the conditional permanent residency period as long as the alien has sufficient proof that the intent in the marriage was genuine.
                          The above is simply an opinion. Your mileage may vary. For immigration issues, please consult an immigration attorney.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            curious, i have heard different stories ....
                            mobis has a child with wifey, does or doesn't USCIS take that into consideration? I was told they don't care about the children (but "good morals" it asks about being current on child, or any other, support)... but then my soon-to-be-outtie (fingers crossed) ex-hubby said USCIS would allow him to stay since we have a child together so *I* don't go on welfare. (tho he's not paid a dime in child support )
                            (curious, i looked into "WIC", a local welfare-type program in my state, and funny, i make way too much to even be considered )
                            it's sorta off the subject of mob's question, so sorry for the interruption, i am just curious how the child is involved, if at all???

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              It used to be that a birth certificate for a child born to a marriage weighed heavily in proving the bone fides of marriage, but that has changed over time. As did the regulations. The reform requiring two-year conditional nature of the residence was an answer to continued circumvention of the immigration laws by aliens that would marry to gain benefits. Even today, with the reform in place, the measures taken by those intent on perpetrating fraud changes too. I sense that a child bears merit, but not to the degree that it overwhelms the totality of all circumstances.
                              The above is simply an opinion. Your mileage may vary. For immigration issues, please consult an immigration attorney.

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