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  • Need advice or support regarding abuse (immigrants)

    I think its about time there is somewhere for an immigrant who has or is being abused in the US to have somewhere they can seek advice and support.

    I will be at some point going to get a website of my own and (hopefully with the help of others) and have a place for anyone to speak freely, get advice and give support to one another.

    There are many websites that help abused women but not any that just help immigrants who have been abused.

    Personally I found it difficult to get advice, help and support from most places because I am a legal immigrant with a Green Card.
    There are different rules for people like me, and its not easy to get the help you need to leave the abuser and there could be problems on the legal front, because divorce courts do not understand immigration law.

    I am going to set up in the meantime a private chatroom (blackboard). If anyone wants to join please PM me.
    I would like it to be a safe haven for all abused immigrants, to get advice and have support.

    There are enough threads on here about fraud marriages and so forth, so its about time there is something on here for the abused women or men who are immigrants. You will not be insulted or accused of anything, otherwise the person will be banned.

    I would have it here but I know someone will come in and bash us.

    So please any woman or man (immigrant)who have been abused (whether physically, mentally, financially, socially etc) please PM me and lets help each other, even if its for someone to talk to.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

    National Domestic Violence Hotline:
    1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

  • #2
    I think its about time there is somewhere for an immigrant who has or is being abused in the US to have somewhere they can seek advice and support.

    I will be at some point going to get a website of my own and (hopefully with the help of others) and have a place for anyone to speak freely, get advice and give support to one another.

    There are many websites that help abused women but not any that just help immigrants who have been abused.

    Personally I found it difficult to get advice, help and support from most places because I am a legal immigrant with a Green Card.
    There are different rules for people like me, and its not easy to get the help you need to leave the abuser and there could be problems on the legal front, because divorce courts do not understand immigration law.

    I am going to set up in the meantime a private chatroom (blackboard). If anyone wants to join please PM me.
    I would like it to be a safe haven for all abused immigrants, to get advice and have support.

    There are enough threads on here about fraud marriages and so forth, so its about time there is something on here for the abused women or men who are immigrants. You will not be insulted or accused of anything, otherwise the person will be banned.

    I would have it here but I know someone will come in and bash us.

    So please any woman or man (immigrant)who have been abused (whether physically, mentally, financially, socially etc) please PM me and lets help each other, even if its for someone to talk to.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

    National Domestic Violence Hotline:
    1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

    Comment


    • #3
      I would also like to say that if any non immigrant woman or man who have some knowledge, personally or professionally would like to help and give advice, you are also more then welcome.
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

      National Domestic Violence Hotline:
      1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

      Comment


      • #4
        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:
        I think its about time there is somewhere for an immigrant who has or is being abused in the US to have somewhere they can seek advice and support.

        I will be at some point going to get a website of my own and (hopefully with the help of others) and have a place for anyone to speak freely, get advice and give support to one another.

        There are many websites that help abused women but not any that just help immigrants who have been abused.

        Personally I found it difficult to get advice, help and support from most places because I am a legal immigrant with a Green Card.
        There are different rules for people like me, and its not easy to get the help you need to leave the abuser and there could be problems on the legal front, because divorce courts do not understand immigration law.

        I am going to set up in the meantime a private chatroom (blackboard). If anyone wants to join please PM me.
        I would like it to be a safe haven for all abused immigrants, to get advice and have support.

        There are enough threads on here about fraud marriages and so forth, so its about time there is something on here for the abused women or men who are immigrants. You will not be insulted or accused of anything, otherwise the person will be banned.

        I would have it here but I know someone will come in and bash us.

        So please any woman or man (immigrant)who have been abused (whether physically, mentally, financially, socially etc) please PM me and lets help each other, even if its for someone to talk to. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
        National Domestic Abuse Web Site or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). if you know someone or have been abused, this is your best place for help.

        The rules are not different because you are legal, USC, or anything else. There may be financial restraints on certain local organizations because you don't meet the financial needs test, but there is help ,no matter what you have been told. It is a good idea for what you are suggesting.
        "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you Hudson for that link, it will be helpful.

          I am with DVIS and they do help emotionally, but unfortunately a lot of things that I do need I can't get.
          Even shelters are a problem if you have a child that is over their age limit and who is a boy.

          Also what could be available in one State, county or city may not be available for others.

          The one thing that I really needed apart from financial of course was somewhere for me to go and talk to someone in same situ as me.
          Like my counselor said to me, being from another culture, country does make a difference to an abused person. There are some differences, so meeting someone (immigrant) who has been in something similar really does help, because they can understand a bit better having come from another country too, away from family and all that.

          There is a lot of things that I had no idea on either, and is hard to obtain that advice etc
          DVIS do not have the answer, and many other common large organizations. Hence why putting our heads together can help each other.
          -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
          God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

          National Domestic Violence Hotline:
          1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hudson, any information that you can pass on too like those links, I would be very grateful.
            There are always people out there who do not have that information.
            -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
            God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

            National Domestic Violence Hotline:
            1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

            Comment


            • #7
              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:
              I would also like to say that if any non immigrant woman or man who have some knowledge, personally or professionally would like to help and give advice, you are also more then welcome. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

              Hi Sprint-girl:

              Even though I am not a VAWA abusee, my son is and I have gotten to know a reasonable amount about it, most of it from a very good immigration attorney who has a son my son's age and was t--d of at what my wife did to my son.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thank you Klinus,

                Your situation is quite unique. And as you said it is mainly to do with your son's neglect/abuse.

                If its ok with you, if someone needs help with child neglect/abuse in similar situation as you, can I put them in touch with you?

                Thank you again Klinus
                -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

                National Domestic Violence Hotline:
                1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

                Comment


                • #9
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:
                  Thank you Klinus,

                  Your situation is quite unique. And as you said it is mainly to do with your son's neglect/abuse.

                  If its ok with you, if someone needs help with child neglect/abuse in similar situation as you, can I put them in touch with you?

                  Thank you again Klinus </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
                  Hi Sprint-girl07:

                  Sure.; Doubt there are others whose opponents are as cretinous as my situation . Victims of false child abuse, how to retain custody and how important it is to keep your cool,

                  I could also be of help to others who have been falsely accused of VAWA on suggestions on how to ensure that they come out whole. Also since there going to be those who will show up who are going to want to abuse VAWA, that one result may be smoking wreckage. You get your cake but...

                  klinus
                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z784ETkZ6k

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    A normal person would go back home if they were being abused; what an amazing coincidence these people are so abused yet still want to remain in the USA.

                    STOP FRAUD !!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:
                      Thank you Hudson for that link, it will be helpful.

                      I am with DVIS and they do help emotionally, but unfortunately a lot of things that I do need I can't get.
                      Even shelters are a problem if you have a child that is over their age limit and who is a boy.

                      Also what could be available in one State, county or city may not be available for others.

                      The one thing that I really needed apart from financial of course was somewhere for me to go and talk to someone in same situ as me.
                      Like my counselor said to me, being from another culture, country does make a difference to an abused person. There are some differences, so meeting someone (immigrant) who has been in something similar really does help, because they can understand a bit better having come from another country too, away from family and all that.

                      There is a lot of things that I had no idea on either, and is hard to obtain that advice etc
                      DVIS do not have the answer, and many other common large organizations. Hence why putting our heads together can help each other. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
                      Send me a PM on what your needs are and I might be able to help with some links on the public forum.
                      "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Warning sings of abuse:
                        Spousal abuse and battery are used for one purpose: to gain and maintain total control over the victim. In addition to physical violence, abusers use the following tactics to exert power over their wives or partners:

                        * Dominance "” Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his possession.

                        * Power and Control WheelHumiliation "” An abuser will do everything he can to make you feel bad about yourself, or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.

                        * Isolation "” In order to increase your dependence on him, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Source: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, MN

                        * Threats "” Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.

                        * Intimidation "” Your abuser may use a variety of intimation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
                        * Denial and blame "” Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abuser may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility onto you: Somehow, his violence and abuse is your fault.

                        Cycle of violence

                        Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence:

                        * Cycle of violenceAbuse "” The abuser lashes out with aggressive or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show the victim "who is boss."

                        * Guilt "” After the abusive episode, the abuser feels guilt, but not over what he's done to the victim. The guilt is over the possibility of being caught and facing consequences.

                        * Rationalization or excuses "” The abuser rationalizes what he's done. He may come up with a string of excuses or blame the victim for his own abusive behavior"”anything to shift responsibility from himself.

                        * "Normal" behavior "” The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.

                        * Fantasy and planning "” The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing his victim again, spending a lot of time thinking about what she's done wrong and how he'll make her pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.

                        * Set-up "” The abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her.

                        Link
                        "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Warning Signs of Abuse/Fraud

                          1. Complains
                          2. Nags
                          3. Whines
                          4. Acts for Money
                          5. Doesn't work
                          6. Reads ILW
                          7. Has friends
                          8. Gains Weight
                          9. Ages
                          10. Asks for a green card

                          IF YOUE SPOUSE DOES ANYONE OF THESE; CALL 1-800-DIVOORCE And report her to immigration for expedited deportation !!!

                          If you don't like it then leave !!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            This "abuse" nonsense has to end. VAWA and IMBRA need to be repealed or ruled unconstitutional. Abuse is simply a government sponsored fraud. Not one of these people have been abused; they ARE the abusers.

                            They abuse their American sponsors.
                            They abuse the immigration system.
                            They abuse laws that were meant to protect people and have turned it into a joke.
                            They abuse theor spouses by making them live in fear of being branded an abuser.
                            They abuse the American way of justice.

                            I do believe that the tide is turning and that USCIS is begining to see through this scam. They are claiming anything as abuse and expect to win a prize.

                            No one told these people to come here. They were supposed to come to be a spouse. If it doesn't work out, they should leave and go home. There is NO justification for them to be rewarded for either real or imaginary "abuse".

                            It is time for Congress to recognize that this abuse scam is a fraud and needs to close it down.

                            GOD BLESS AMERICA AND NO ONE ELSE !!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I would appreciate it if comments of fraud and sarcastic comments are left to be posted elsewhere. There are enough threads regarding that already, and enough people on here that can help each other and give advice on that subject.

                              I am not promoting fraud or supporting it, I just want somewhere on here for those who are or have been abused and who are immigrants. Men or women.

                              I can't change what happened to me, but I sure can try and help others even if it is just to give them support or like Hudson has kindly done, give them direction on where to seek more help.

                              What a lot of people don't know is that there is other things that are difficult to obtain as an immigrant, because it is also presumed we can but we can't due to immigration law.
                              What is available to a USC is not available to an immigrant, especially a legal immigrant. Even though we are Green card holders, does not give us the same rights.

                              Please post your fraud abuse posts elsewhere, let me try to do something positive with the negative situation that I was/am in.

                              Regardless of your feelings against immigrants claiming abuse, don't you have a heart that women/men who have truly been abused had enough of been bashed.
                              Some of these abuse cases children are involved too, so if you can't do it for us adults, the have a heart and think of the innocent children.
                              Let me do this please, without comments of fraud.

                              I do sympathise with those who have been accused of abuse, but I cannot help you, but I can at least help those who have truly been abused.

                              Thank you
                              -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                              God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too

                              National Domestic Violence Hotline:
                              1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.

                              Comment



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