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  • Ease of discovering status?

    Hello,

    My original post is "overstay and marriage question."

    I entered the US legally, and before returning to my country I met a man who was separated, and we got to know each other and hoped to marry. However, the divorce has been a drawn-out process, and has now resulted in an overstay (more than 1 year) on my part.

    I wish I had known how long the divorce would take, and the legal processes and consequences, as it would have been simpler to return home. My fiance is not well off, but my family is, and they may have been willing to pay the necessary fees, but my fiance and I had hoped to marry soon and I made a bad decision to stay instead.

    In the meantime, his soon to be ex-wife has found out about our relationship, and can perhaps guess that I am foreign-born. She is causing him as much difficulty as she is able in the divorce process.

    I am concerned that I may cause him problems in his divorce, or that she may use me to cause him problems. What I need to know is how easy it would be for her to discover my overstay status if she knows my name, my state of residence, and can perhaps guess the country of my birth, but no more?

    We are in a difficult situation right now, but more than anything I wish to protect my fiance, although I do not wish to be separated from him for a period of years either. Any information or suggestions would be very much appreciated.

    Thank you,
    AO

  • #2
    Hello,

    My original post is "overstay and marriage question."

    I entered the US legally, and before returning to my country I met a man who was separated, and we got to know each other and hoped to marry. However, the divorce has been a drawn-out process, and has now resulted in an overstay (more than 1 year) on my part.

    I wish I had known how long the divorce would take, and the legal processes and consequences, as it would have been simpler to return home. My fiance is not well off, but my family is, and they may have been willing to pay the necessary fees, but my fiance and I had hoped to marry soon and I made a bad decision to stay instead.

    In the meantime, his soon to be ex-wife has found out about our relationship, and can perhaps guess that I am foreign-born. She is causing him as much difficulty as she is able in the divorce process.

    I am concerned that I may cause him problems in his divorce, or that she may use me to cause him problems. What I need to know is how easy it would be for her to discover my overstay status if she knows my name, my state of residence, and can perhaps guess the country of my birth, but no more?

    We are in a difficult situation right now, but more than anything I wish to protect my fiance, although I do not wish to be separated from him for a period of years either. Any information or suggestions would be very much appreciated.

    Thank you,
    AO

    Comment


    • #3
      u leave u wont be able to come back for a few years because u will be banned.

      the wife doesnt know u are an overstay does she.. so make sure she never finds out.
      she cant find out unless he tells her. she wont get any info from uscis. But she might tell them she thinks u are illegal???? who knows?

      he wont be in trouble for ur overstay. they might deport u tho if they catch u. it wont affect his divorce ..

      Comment


      • #4
        hello AO

        It is not easy to find out status, but it is not impossible. If his wife, (by the way, not his "X" just yet) speaks to someone in ice, she may find out. it happens on occasion. Especially if she has a complaint about the alien, such as breaking up the marriage.

        Little trip to the local uscis office could accomplish this .. or if lawyer has friends on the inside, her status could be revealed.

        I would go far from this situation until the divorce is final and you can be married.

        It would probably be a good idea anyway, b/c wifey could bring adultery charges if state allows a fault divorce. If she can prove it, when you go to apply for citizenship later, you most likely will be denied. (morals) You would have been much better off waiting for this guy to be divorced and free to date before you got involved with him. Try to be a little more sensitive to the wife's mentality and her rights... dont forget that you have been sneaking around with her husband..

        Oh by the way, Even if you get married, you may have some problems adjusting your status. You came here on VWP. This will not be slam dunk! and if you are denied by uscis, it is the end of the story, as you will not have an appeal process because of the VWP. Denial will be final.

        DAVDAH.... Duh
        A thump on the head to you for this statement:

        [quote]I applaud your bravery. American women take note of this immigrant. She is standing by her man through these tough times. That is why we go looking overseas.[quote]

        Speak for your self as to why men look to foreign women, but in this case the stakes are high here. He is the source of a greencard and possible foregiveness of overstay. Standing by her man in "tough times" eh?

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you all for the replies. I do appreciate the information.

          Davdah, we are still waiting to hear about the bifurcation possibility. Thank you for mentioning it. From online searches, it seems that it is done in this state. We are interested to find out if the circumstances must be extraordinary or if it can easily be granted. I thank you very much for all of the help and information you have offered so far, and for your defense of my situation.

          And 4Now, I do thank you for your cautions. This is something I was interested in learning. I do not fault you for your statements, since you cannot know the history of our situation. I purposely wrote a less-detailed history here for the sake of brevity, with the hope that a more accurate subject line would provide better responses.

          Incidentally the state is no-fault, she filed for the divorce, and she is living with another man. She had already begun her new life when he and I first met. It has been an ongoing and rather nasty process which I prefer not to discuss further than this.

          And as to the green card, perhaps I would be in the minority here, but I honestly do not need one nor especially care for it. I was originally planning to return home to my family, where I have an excellent job and position established for myself, if I should so choose, when this man and I met. We simply found that we agreed very deeply on so many important values, have grown to care for one another, and we want very much to share our lives together. Perhaps it was foolish of me to take the risk, now that I know how long the process has taken. If it were not for the children, perhaps he would accompany me to MY country (smile) ... but I am only dreaming here because he DOES have small children and that would be impossible. (Not to mention that our faith is not well supported in my home country, which is another big problem.)

          I prefer not to think of this as a matter of American or foreign women or men. He is a terrific guy too ... we just happen to be from two different countries. I do not believe either of us is "typical" of our nationality, if such a thing exists.

          I hope that what I have said does not seem offensive; I do not mean that it should. I just wanted to thank everyone for their input, and above all to do what I can to protect the man I wish to marry and to do all I can to help assure our future lives together, which I pray we may yet have.

          Thank you again for your kind help and responses.

          AO

          Comment


          • #6
            I just noticed the comment regarding VWP above. Actually, I did not enter on VWP. I was in this country legally with a visa for 6 years. This situation just unfortunately has lasted longer than my visa.

            I do hope that perhaps this will make a difference as well. I did not come here short-term looking for marriage.

            I apologize that I have so much to learn of these issues, and am just beginning to look into them. There is a lot of information available, much of it contradictory, and the language is sometimes difficult to wade through (even though my English is more than adequate).

            It will simply take time for me to learn all I need to know in order to best deal with this, and I am thankful to all who offer their assistance and information.

            AO

            Comment


            • #7
              yea
              sorry
              davdah... its still a thump

              quote]I applaud your bravery. American women take note of this immigrant. She is standing by her man through these tough times. That is why we go looking overseas.[quote]



              the thump on the head is for the statement you made generalizing men.. "This is why we go looking overseas." thats why I said speak for yourself . This is presumptious of you to make this statement for american or any other nationality.

              Im not here very often anymore.. my attitudes about the wife were from a more legal perspective where I saw that someone referred to the wife as the "ex". Legally, if he dies tommorow... wifey is taking everything. Happens all the time, and the girfriend gets sent packing... no rights.



              And if thats the case that the wife was cheating. There is certainly no reason that this divorce should not have been finished and bifurcation is in order. Financial and/or custody will not stop a person from freedom to get married again.

              All I can asy to you is read my past posts.. and you will know that I do not condone any such nonsense. Some Women abuse men often and provoke violence in men from verbally taunting and inappropriate physical contact. This is not acceptable . However the alien should be smart enough to act accordingly and document these actions so that it will not place him at risk in the immigration process.

              ok end of story. not here to banter with you.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hello again,

                I am sorry to say that we have heard from the attorney and have been told that bifurcation in this state is only allowed in the most extreme cases. We have not been given any hope at all for this happening. I had suspected this based on the very few circumstances of bifurcation here we have found in searching the internet, and the statements from the judge in those cases.

                I regret this very much, as it seemed to be a good solution to the problem. Now I will have to look for other options.

                Thank you all again for your help.

                AO

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thank you, Davdah,

                  I appreciate your help and information. I think that you are right in everything. And I believe it would be best if I can find a way to "disappear" from the situation as much as possible.

                  I really do not want to ask my parents for more help, but as it stands right now I am not able to legally work in this country, and I do not wish to cause more problems later.

                  Thank you so much. We will really have to see if we can do something about the dragging out of this matter. It is really so hard on everyone involved and the sooner everything is settled, the sooner everyone would be able to get back to their lives. I am thinking especially of the children as well as ourselves.

                  You are right, those things of greatest value are worth the effort usually required. Thank you again.

                  AO

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