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It's all over...Not short and definitely not sweet

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  • It's all over...Not short and definitely not sweet

    I dated my high school sweetheart long distance on and off for 16 years and we finally married in 06. He came with his 2 children in May 07 via K3 and K4 visas.
    He only got his work permit in Jan 08 so he did not have any financial responsibility for all of 07. I did not mind taking care of everyone as it is all part of the process.
    He has been working now since February and gets angry when it's time to help pay bills. Lately he informed me that he was not going to pay any bills period. Then during one of our regular arguments he threatened bodily harm in an indirect way. I am 9 months pregnant and want out as I fear the only thing between me and his fists is my huge belly.
    We were married overseas and I have not completed his I-485 nor any other paperwork for his children for ovious reasons. Can I simply and formally abandon the petition process and have him sent back?
    What are my options and responsibility and what options would he have?
    BTW when I told him he will have to leave, he said I will have to pay all their airfares...afterall, I paid to bring them here. HELP!!!

  • #2
    I dated my high school sweetheart long distance on and off for 16 years and we finally married in 06. He came with his 2 children in May 07 via K3 and K4 visas.
    He only got his work permit in Jan 08 so he did not have any financial responsibility for all of 07. I did not mind taking care of everyone as it is all part of the process.
    He has been working now since February and gets angry when it's time to help pay bills. Lately he informed me that he was not going to pay any bills period. Then during one of our regular arguments he threatened bodily harm in an indirect way. I am 9 months pregnant and want out as I fear the only thing between me and his fists is my huge belly.
    We were married overseas and I have not completed his I-485 nor any other paperwork for his children for ovious reasons. Can I simply and formally abandon the petition process and have him sent back?
    What are my options and responsibility and what options would he have?
    BTW when I told him he will have to leave, he said I will have to pay all their airfares...afterall, I paid to bring them here. HELP!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      hi blaize1 , well i really dont know what to tell u, lets say he wanted you for the green card,why would he act the way hes acting before even getting his card? but if this is tue and that he abused u or put his hand on you, you can go ahead and write a letter to the immigration to(withdraw his i-130 with explenation of the setuation ) and u didn't complete the i-485 anyway so its game over. but think about it cery hard before you do it ,if you still have feelings for him or if u think you could make it work then dont cxontact the immigration bcoz this will destroy his chances of getting the green card,if you only think that he might hurt you then dont do it ,but if he did then thats another story and go ahead and withdraw the i-130 and dont file the i-485 which u didn't anyway and this will be the end of the story

      Comment


      • #4
        There in lies my dilemma. I am still in love with him and his children. Plus I am soon to be the mother of his new child any day now. Yet he only seems concerned about me selling "my" home (so we can live in "our" home never mind he can't begin to provide half a home and refuses to pay a bill) and showing him my bank accounts so that we could be "on the same page". He has done a complete about face since he has begun working...I think he is mistaken about his status and thinks that he is a permanent resident because of his approved I-130.
        If I went ahead and withdrew the I-130 will I still have to support him and his children. This situation truly breaks my heart.

        Comment


        • #5
          so the i-130 was approved but you didn't file the i-485?
          hmm well you can still contact them and let them know that you are withdrawing everything so you wont be responsible of him financially and if you dont file the i-485 he wont be getting status anyway, the i-130 is just an application that will allow you to apply for immigrant visa or green card if in the country. but to me i cann't give you an advice on this setuation bcoz i dont know your setuation exactly . it could be that you are in love with him so much and you dont wanna lose him and thats why you think hes up to something bcoz of the jelousy ,and at the same time he might be an abuser ,so its really hard to tell but you know what to do now in order to stop his paper work and its up to you,but to me i think you should talk to him seriously and see if this will work first.

          Comment


          • #6
            You are correct. the I-130 was approved and he came on an I-129F, however, due to a UPS error (what I'm beginning to see as divine intervention), the I-485 was never submitted.
            Mike you have no idea how stressful this is contrary to your idea, he is the suspicious one because I am a hard worker and sometimes work late to complete projects. When I purchased this home I factored him and the children in terms of location, school, job opportunities and even though he was so far away, involved him in all the thinking behind the decision. I am just hurt by his indifference and lack of emotional attachment...he has also refused to purchase as much as a diaper for the coming baby.
            Anyway, I will speak with him about getting professional counseling to see if we can salvage this marriage. If that is a no go then I will write to the USCIS and withdraw everything.
            Mike, thanks for listening and giving me advice at this time of night

            Comment


            • #7
              you are very welcome and yeah do that and try to make this work first if not and if you find out that he is an abuser(for sure) then go ahead and do that . i support immigrants regardless of their status but not than kind of ppl to beat his wife, so try to make it work bclz like i said it could be just you that think he might hurt you bcoz u dont wanna lose him but if he is then u r free to do whatever you like

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Blaize. I'm very sorry for your situation, but from the things you've said, it certainly appears that your husband is showing the classic signs of an abuser. The threats about you having to pay for his tickets, while making sure you're responsible for everything and don't have money to spare, seems to be his way of controlling the situation, and you.

                Having been in an abusive relationship myself, I certainly understand the feelings and that would be magnified with the kids that are involved.

                As far as your options go, you can withdraw your sponsorship at this point. Most importantly, you need to protect yourself. You can begin divorce proceedings and ask to have him removed from the property. At that point, he will basically have to wait until the divorce is final and then apply for a waiver to adjust status on his own.

                When you withdraw, be sure to include a detailed letter regarding his behavior.
                **************************************
                The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it - Plutarch

                Comment


                • #9
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">As far as your options go, you can withdraw your sponsorship at this point. Most importantly, you need to protect yourself. You can begin divorce proceedings and ask to have him removed from the property. At that point, he will basically have to wait until the divorce is final and then apply for a waiver to adjust status on his own. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>



                  If OP withdraws petitions, He cannot file a waiver to adjust status.

                  he never got CONDITIONAL CARD , therefore he does not have any rights to file for removal of conditions. His only option would be self petition based on abuse if there was any against him.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by 4now:
                    If OP withdraws petitions, He cannot file a waiver to adjust status.

                    he never got CONDITIONAL CARD , therefore he does not have any rights to file for removal of conditions. His only option would be self petition based on abuse if there was any against him. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                    Ahhh, of course. My bad (I hate that saying. LOL) for posting in a rush. Thank you for the clarification, 4now

                    Even more reason for Blaize to go to in to protective mode.
                    **************************************
                    The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it - Plutarch

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by mike_2007:
                      hi blaize1 , well i really dont know what to tell u, lets say he wanted you for the green card,why would he act the way hes acting before even getting his card? but if this is tue and that he abused u or put his hand on you, you can go ahead and write a letter to the immigration to(withdraw his i-130 with explenation of the setuation ) and u didn't complete the i-485 anyway so its game over. but think about it cery hard before you do it ,if you still have feelings for him or if u think you could make it work then dont cxontact the immigration bcoz this will destroy his chances of getting the green card,if you only think that he might hurt you then dont do it ,but if he did then thats another story and go ahead and withdraw the i-130 and dont file the i-485 which u didn't anyway and this will be the end of the story </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                      Much Better!!! Thanks.
                      USC and Legal, Honest Immigrant Alike Must Fight Against Those That Deceive and Disrupt A Place Of Desirability! All Are Victims of Fraud, Both USC and Honest Immigrant Alike! The bad can and does make it more difficult for the good! Be careful who y

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