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DISGUSTED AT FATHER IN LAWS REMARKS

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  • DISGUSTED AT FATHER IN LAWS REMARKS

    HI I JUST NEED TO VENT SOME ANGER, I WAS TOLD BY MY SISTER IN LAW THAT MY FATHER IN LAW HAS BEEN SAYING THAT I MARRIED MY HUSBAND JUST TO GET A GREEN CARD. THIS IS SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH AND HAS MADE ME FEEL LIKE GOINGBACK HOME TO THE UK. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK OF IMMIGRANTS IN THIS WAY, DO THEY THINK THAT PEOPLE FROM THE UK ARE BENEATH THEM AND ARE COMING HERE IN THE HOPE OF A BETTER LIFE. I TRUELY LOVE MY HUSBAND, WE ARE EXPECTING OUR FIRST CHILD IN 3 MONTHS AND MY ONLY REASON FOR BEING HERE IS THAT I LOVE MY HUSBAND, I DIDNT COME HERE WANTING A GREEN CARD. DO I JUST GO HOME COZ SOMEONE THINKS THIS OF ME, I DONT WANNA BE LOOKED DOWN UPON BY ANYONE AND HAVE JUDGEMENTS MADE AGAINST ME LIKE THIS.

  • #2
    HI I JUST NEED TO VENT SOME ANGER, I WAS TOLD BY MY SISTER IN LAW THAT MY FATHER IN LAW HAS BEEN SAYING THAT I MARRIED MY HUSBAND JUST TO GET A GREEN CARD. THIS IS SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH AND HAS MADE ME FEEL LIKE GOINGBACK HOME TO THE UK. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK OF IMMIGRANTS IN THIS WAY, DO THEY THINK THAT PEOPLE FROM THE UK ARE BENEATH THEM AND ARE COMING HERE IN THE HOPE OF A BETTER LIFE. I TRUELY LOVE MY HUSBAND, WE ARE EXPECTING OUR FIRST CHILD IN 3 MONTHS AND MY ONLY REASON FOR BEING HERE IS THAT I LOVE MY HUSBAND, I DIDNT COME HERE WANTING A GREEN CARD. DO I JUST GO HOME COZ SOMEONE THINKS THIS OF ME, I DONT WANNA BE LOOKED DOWN UPON BY ANYONE AND HAVE JUDGEMENTS MADE AGAINST ME LIKE THIS.

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    • #3
      Don't orry honey. People will always say that. I eloped because my father said it about my husband, my ex boyfriends said it about my husband, I have thought the same of other people.

      It is a typical US Citizen snooty remark.

      I even accused ARQU of it, and have found later that he was actually one of the sincere GC holders.

      You know, many people on the board have been cheated, and many married immigrants have also been cheated.

      Take it with a grain of salt...you know like, you are fat, you can't cook, you just want your spouses money, etc...

      In the end, it is just the two of you and the only revenge is just to have a haapy maariage.

      I have 2 cousins, one maried to a USC the other to a Senegalese.

      Guess who's husband decided to cheat on his wife and have a baby out of wedlock...
      Thnat's right the USC husband.

      You have every right to be mad, but don't worry it has nothing to do with you bing from the UK. Americans just think that everyone wants to be here in the US and marry them.

      Goodluck and spend your energies on you precious baby that will be in this world in three months.

      Besides, you maybe a little sensitive and after you have the baby and your hormones are under control, you will just wave this comment off.

      Goodluck and God Bless.

      B

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      • #4
        THANKS B FOR YOUR SWEET REPLY, I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT PEOPLE ARE NARROW MINDED AND YOU ARE RIGHT THE BEST REVENGE ON HIM IS A HAPPY MARRIAGE. THANKS AGAIN!

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        • #5
          Nothing to worry much about. Just go on living your life and don't let such a thing bother you. If it really bothers you, its best to confront your father in law and talk about it so you can settle the matter. I also have to deal with it, especially not only in-laws, but friends and acquaintances too. Well thats part of the ignorance we have to deal with, many americans think all foreigners are here to get the green card. This is the least you should be worried about, just worry more on what you're going to name your child and what college you want the kid to attend! Good luck!

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          • #6
            ANGRY, even if you married your husband for the green card, it was a decision that you made and your husband approved. Tell you father-in-law to mind his own business.

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            • #7
              The father-in-law jerk of mine has never talked to me once, I have not even seen him once... It's been a year I am married to my wife and the guy doesn't even talk to his daughter because she married me... And he tells everyone that his daughter married a terrorist since I am a pilot... Do I mind? No, he is just an uneducated dummy truck driver in a small town, living his own low-life... Do you think God let these people get away with their hatred?

              On the other hand I have a lovely mother-in-law, who I love as my own mother...

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              • #8
                then I first got married (12+ yrs. ago) my mother-in-law placed an article on my husband's pillow. The article was about Russian scam artists who marry Americans and then dump them as soon as they get their status in the U.S. (I'm not Russian by the way). It truly hurt me, because she obviously placed it there for me to see it, too!

                Anyway, 10 lbs later and still happily married with one child, I have come to realize that such people project their own fears and insecurities on their children who they mistake to be still school aged kids. Just forgive them and don't keep a grunge on them. Why punish your partner for a projection of his/her kin?

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                • #9
                  My advice... don't confront your father in law... don't worry about it. Keep treating him with the same respect as always and enjoy his company as much as possible. Any stupid remarks he has made probably stem more from concern for your husband (his child) then from any animosity towards you.

                  The best thing you can do? Prove him wrong. Not by words or arguments, but by simply staying with your husband and making him as happy as you can, by being the best mother you can, and even the best daughter in law.

                  This is your family... treat it as such and you will be accepted as such (even if it takes time)

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                  • #10
                    You are English, you wouldn't have married to an American just to get a green card. If you were from a poor county, well, it might have been that way, but Brits and other Western Europians wouldn't much care about living in America. Believe me I have a lot of German, French friends who do not really like to live in the US.

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                    • #11
                      Did this discussion take place couple of months ago also?

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                      • #12
                        YES, HERE IS ONE OF THE LINKS. THIS PERSON WANTS ATTENTION.

                        http://discuss.ilw.com/eve/forums?a=...41&m=467609817

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                        • #13
                          HERE IS ANOTHER LINK BY THE SAME PERSON

                          http://discuss.ilw.com/eve/forums?a=...41&m=367609817

                          Get a life angry

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                          • #15
                            Dear Angry:
                            I see no reason for you to behave the way you do. You have the easiest case I've ever seen in this forum. Here's what you'll do:
                            If you truly love your husband, and I believe you do, just put it above people, places, opinions, everything and you'll be Ok!
                            I know that this forum is far away from a family affairs counseling scope but try to ease your mind. Remember that people are like the firmament....they are changing every second in time. What your FIL thinks about you today, for sure will be different tomorrow. Just give time some time. Enjoy your marriage, your love and your child. Do the best you can, and time will take care of the rest!
                            Best of luck!

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