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Divorcing my K1 Wife

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  • Divorcing my K1 Wife

    I met my K1 fiance' in Russia in June of 2004. I spent 16 days with her in her town in Yeisk in Russia. A week after I went home, she called me in a hysterical, frantic, crying state and told me her abusive ex husband was going to head back to the town from the Czeck Republic and decapitate her because he had learned she had a new man from his mother. To respond to this, I relocated her to Moscow after wiring $5,000, and supported her and her kids for fourteen months, and I travelled to Russia a total of 9 times during this period. Her kids stayed with her Mom and she lived in Moscow. We filed for a VISA K1, and she arrived here in September, 2005. Almost immediately, she was depressed, negative - and not happy with anything.. she couldn't seem to find joy in anything.. except certain moments with me were very nice. We married in December, 2005. At the time we were married, she had been pregnant about 7 weeks and had prenatal sickness around the clock. She treated me horribly every minute of every hour of every day - and I exploded at her after about 7 weeks of this constant negativity.. I explained to her that I did not trust her. She became pregnant against my wishes, and twice interfered with my attempts to use contraception. One of these two times she got pregnant. I definitely felt like her desire to have a baby was more important than my desire not to have one. You see, I was married before and had 5 kids from a previous marriage - all my kids were grown up, in College and out in the world. I didn't want more, and was always up front about that... She insisted on an abortion, and I pleaded with her not to have one, but she wanted to prove to me that she could be trusted. She went ahead and did it against my constant pleadings that she not do so. While I didn't want more kids, I felt more strongly about her NOT having an abortion.

    This woman in Moscow always made me feel like I was calling the shots, I was in charge, what I said went.. it was nice.. and not something I was used to with American woman. I liked it. She manicured me, massaged me, fed me, cared for me and would not leave me alone.. if you know what I mean... then BAM, she gets to America, and except for her never leaving me alone in bed, everything else changed. She became consumed with jealousy, about where I was, who I was with, etc., etc.. and you know what? I never, not once, not for a moment had any idea about anyone but her.. she was my dream, the love of my life.. and when she was always accusing me, checking on me, challenging my every account of where I was... who i was with, etc.. I started feeling insulted, and her lack of trust toward me ate away at me.. and deeply hurt me. I am a good man... and did not like the insinuations of impropriety. She would mill through my email (laptop for my job at home) looking for ill conceived emails to woman, she's check my caller-ids on my cell phone, write the numbers down and try them later.. she was consumed, obsessed with finding something wrong with me. Her tantrums and accusations would lead to violence.. she'd strike me... and I got sick of it.. I called the police. What other choice did I have? I certainly wouldn't and couldn't strike her back - and I wanted her to understand - that striking people IS NOT an option. I bought a bigger, newer house in preparation of her kids moving here in July 2006. I loved her kids, I was very good to them, and they loved me... daughter 18, son 16... neither kid had any relationship with their real Dad, so our connection was awesome.. I love kids, and am very good with kids. Her bad behavior did not stop. She had an outburst in September, and i had a restraining order taken out on her after she punched me in the face... She always insisted that people were talking about her.. or that they were conspiring against her, or that they just didn't like her... and I was so amazed because if you only knew how beautiful, smart and intelligent she was - you would simply not believe she was so insecure. She was nothing short of a knock out... so, I never understood the insecurity..

    I filed for divorce. I suspended the restraining order and the divorce filing IF she agreed to go and see a pschiatrist and get helop for her problems. She did, and they stuck her on an anitdepressant. nothing changed...

    About two weeks ago, she got violent again. I called the police, I got another restraining order and activated the divorce filing from September. She had to leave with her now 19 year old daughter. Her 16 year old son went back to Russia as he couldn't stand being around his Mom and her crazy volatile behavior any more. She abused him verbally and physically almost all the time.... Now, we have had a divorce hearing and she is looking for $5k for attorney retainer and $1500/month while she lives at the shelter. I am absolutely up to my nose in debt with all the stuff I bought her to make her happy in the new home. She furnished it.. and now, I don't have the money to pay these new demands... I am maxxed out... my mortgage is 3700 a month, my first marriage is costing me 5500 a month and I barely get by now...

    I've been to attorneys and they want 5k retainers.. and I don't have it.. the judge ordered that I start paying on March 10th and they gave me 60 days for her attorney's retainer.

    She has her conditional GC for a year now.. it is no good in March 2008.

    What do I do?
    thanks,

    R

  • #2
    I met my K1 fiance' in Russia in June of 2004. I spent 16 days with her in her town in Yeisk in Russia. A week after I went home, she called me in a hysterical, frantic, crying state and told me her abusive ex husband was going to head back to the town from the Czeck Republic and decapitate her because he had learned she had a new man from his mother. To respond to this, I relocated her to Moscow after wiring $5,000, and supported her and her kids for fourteen months, and I travelled to Russia a total of 9 times during this period. Her kids stayed with her Mom and she lived in Moscow. We filed for a VISA K1, and she arrived here in September, 2005. Almost immediately, she was depressed, negative - and not happy with anything.. she couldn't seem to find joy in anything.. except certain moments with me were very nice. We married in December, 2005. At the time we were married, she had been pregnant about 7 weeks and had prenatal sickness around the clock. She treated me horribly every minute of every hour of every day - and I exploded at her after about 7 weeks of this constant negativity.. I explained to her that I did not trust her. She became pregnant against my wishes, and twice interfered with my attempts to use contraception. One of these two times she got pregnant. I definitely felt like her desire to have a baby was more important than my desire not to have one. You see, I was married before and had 5 kids from a previous marriage - all my kids were grown up, in College and out in the world. I didn't want more, and was always up front about that... She insisted on an abortion, and I pleaded with her not to have one, but she wanted to prove to me that she could be trusted. She went ahead and did it against my constant pleadings that she not do so. While I didn't want more kids, I felt more strongly about her NOT having an abortion.

    This woman in Moscow always made me feel like I was calling the shots, I was in charge, what I said went.. it was nice.. and not something I was used to with American woman. I liked it. She manicured me, massaged me, fed me, cared for me and would not leave me alone.. if you know what I mean... then BAM, she gets to America, and except for her never leaving me alone in bed, everything else changed. She became consumed with jealousy, about where I was, who I was with, etc., etc.. and you know what? I never, not once, not for a moment had any idea about anyone but her.. she was my dream, the love of my life.. and when she was always accusing me, checking on me, challenging my every account of where I was... who i was with, etc.. I started feeling insulted, and her lack of trust toward me ate away at me.. and deeply hurt me. I am a good man... and did not like the insinuations of impropriety. She would mill through my email (laptop for my job at home) looking for ill conceived emails to woman, she's check my caller-ids on my cell phone, write the numbers down and try them later.. she was consumed, obsessed with finding something wrong with me. Her tantrums and accusations would lead to violence.. she'd strike me... and I got sick of it.. I called the police. What other choice did I have? I certainly wouldn't and couldn't strike her back - and I wanted her to understand - that striking people IS NOT an option. I bought a bigger, newer house in preparation of her kids moving here in July 2006. I loved her kids, I was very good to them, and they loved me... daughter 18, son 16... neither kid had any relationship with their real Dad, so our connection was awesome.. I love kids, and am very good with kids. Her bad behavior did not stop. She had an outburst in September, and i had a restraining order taken out on her after she punched me in the face... She always insisted that people were talking about her.. or that they were conspiring against her, or that they just didn't like her... and I was so amazed because if you only knew how beautiful, smart and intelligent she was - you would simply not believe she was so insecure. She was nothing short of a knock out... so, I never understood the insecurity..

    I filed for divorce. I suspended the restraining order and the divorce filing IF she agreed to go and see a pschiatrist and get helop for her problems. She did, and they stuck her on an anitdepressant. nothing changed...

    About two weeks ago, she got violent again. I called the police, I got another restraining order and activated the divorce filing from September. She had to leave with her now 19 year old daughter. Her 16 year old son went back to Russia as he couldn't stand being around his Mom and her crazy volatile behavior any more. She abused him verbally and physically almost all the time.... Now, we have had a divorce hearing and she is looking for $5k for attorney retainer and $1500/month while she lives at the shelter. I am absolutely up to my nose in debt with all the stuff I bought her to make her happy in the new home. She furnished it.. and now, I don't have the money to pay these new demands... I am maxxed out... my mortgage is 3700 a month, my first marriage is costing me 5500 a month and I barely get by now...

    I've been to attorneys and they want 5k retainers.. and I don't have it.. the judge ordered that I start paying on March 10th and they gave me 60 days for her attorney's retainer.

    She has her conditional GC for a year now.. it is no good in March 2008.

    What do I do?
    thanks,

    R

    Comment


    • #3
      this just goes to show that anyone thinking with their d ick (even as tiny as timmy's) should rethink the situation....there are thousands of greencard-seeking t wats out there, who will say and (almost) do anything to get a gc.....

      Comment


      • #4
        Your post is lengthy - tried to read and absorb most of it. Is she still waiting to become permanent in this country? If so, we don't need her here. She sounds like a raving lunatic. What blows my mind is why this blatant desire from illegals to come over here and scam us still attracts some of you people? You fall for their story, their unbelievable sexual come-ons -then bam! they turn into psychotics? I'm sorry for what happened to you, but perhaps you'll wake up the next time and realize that dating a person that is in this country legally could save you a lot of heartache and money.

        Comment


        • #5
          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by robbington:
          I met my K1 fiance' in Russia in June of 2004. I spent 16 days with her in her town in Yeisk in Russia. A week after I went home, she called me in a hysterical, frantic, crying state and told me her abusive ex husband was going to head back to the town from the Czeck Republic and decapitate her because he had learned she had a new man from his mother. To respond to this, I relocated her to Moscow after wiring $5,000, and supported her and her kids for fourteen months, and I travelled to Russia a total of 9 times during this period. Her kids stayed with her Mom and she lived in Moscow. We filed for a VISA K1, and she arrived here in September, 2005. Almost immediately, she was depressed, negative - and not happy with anything.. she couldn't seem to find joy in anything.. except certain moments with me were very nice. We married in December, 2005. At the time we were married, she had been pregnant about 7 weeks and had prenatal sickness around the clock. She treated me horribly every minute of every hour of every day - and I exploded at her after about 7 weeks of this constant negativity.. I explained to her that I did not trust her. She became pregnant against my wishes, and twice interfered with my attempts to use contraception. One of these two times she got pregnant. I definitely felt like her desire to have a baby was more important than my desire not to have one. You see, I was married before and had 5 kids from a previous marriage - all my kids were grown up, in College and out in the world. I didn't want more, and was always up front about that... She insisted on an abortion, and I pleaded with her not to have one, but she wanted to prove to me that she could be trusted. She went ahead and did it against my constant pleadings that she not do so. While I didn't want more kids, I felt more strongly about her NOT having an abortion.

          This woman in Moscow always made me feel like I was calling the shots, I was in charge, what I said went.. it was nice.. and not something I was used to with American woman. I liked it. She manicured me, massaged me, fed me, cared for me and would not leave me alone.. if you know what I mean... then BAM, she gets to America, and except for her never leaving me alone in bed, everything else changed. She became consumed with jealousy, about where I was, who I was with, etc., etc.. and you know what? I never, not once, not for a moment had any idea about anyone but her.. she was my dream, the love of my life.. and when she was always accusing me, checking on me, challenging my every account of where I was... who i was with, etc.. I started feeling insulted, and her lack of trust toward me ate away at me.. and deeply hurt me. I am a good man... and did not like the insinuations of impropriety. She would mill through my email (laptop for my job at home) looking for ill conceived emails to woman, she's check my caller-ids on my cell phone, write the numbers down and try them later.. she was consumed, obsessed with finding something wrong with me. Her tantrums and accusations would lead to violence.. she'd strike me... and I got sick of it.. I called the police. What other choice did I have? I certainly wouldn't and couldn't strike her back - and I wanted her to understand - that striking people IS NOT an option. I bought a bigger, newer house in preparation of her kids moving here in July 2006. I loved her kids, I was very good to them, and they loved me... daughter 18, son 16... neither kid had any relationship with their real Dad, so our connection was awesome.. I love kids, and am very good with kids. Her bad behavior did not stop. She had an outburst in September, and i had a restraining order taken out on her after she punched me in the face... She always insisted that people were talking about her.. or that they were conspiring against her, or that they just didn't like her... and I was so amazed because if you only knew how beautiful, smart and intelligent she was - you would simply not believe she was so insecure. She was nothing short of a knock out... so, I never understood the insecurity..

          I filed for divorce. I suspended the restraining order and the divorce filing IF she agreed to go and see a pschiatrist and get helop for her problems. She did, and they stuck her on an anitdepressant. nothing changed...

          About two weeks ago, she got violent again. I called the police, I got another restraining order and activated the divorce filing from September. She had to leave with her now 19 year old daughter. Her 16 year old son went back to Russia as he couldn't stand being around his Mom and her crazy volatile behavior any more. She abused him verbally and physically almost all the time.... Now, we have had a divorce hearing and she is looking for $5k for attorney retainer and $1500/month while she lives at the shelter. I am absolutely up to my nose in debt with all the stuff I bought her to make her happy in the new home. She furnished it.. and now, I don't have the money to pay these new demands... I am maxxed out... my mortgage is 3700 a month, my first marriage is costing me 5500 a month and I barely get by now...

          I've been to attorneys and they want 5k retainers.. and I don't have it.. the judge ordered that I start paying on March 10th and they gave me 60 days for her attorney's retainer.

          She has her conditional GC for a year now.. it is no good in March 2008.

          What do I do? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

          She has a conditional green card right now, so you can divorce and she will be able to self-petition to remove conditions once the decree is available.
          The above is simply an opinion. Your mileage may vary. For immigration issues, please consult an immigration attorney.

          Comment


          • #6
            Bankruptcy?

            Comment


            • #7
              Stop getting married; be happy she did the abortion that would have cost more. You also signed an affidavit of support so you better hope she doesn't go on welfare. You are roy ally sc rewed. I am the king here. I am an expert in divorce and deportation so you better listen to me. You do NOT divorce her. You file to annul the marriage based on marriage fraud. She will back down on her demands or else. You tell her get a job or get out of the country. You sign an agreement that you will just file for a divorce and she gets NOTHING else and that she will get a job; otherwise annull it based on marriage fraud and get her kicked out. It might take 5 years or so but then you will be off the hook.

              Comment


              • #8
                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Theone:
                Bankruptcy? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                Interesting. I doubt that USC obligations to the federal government are dischargable.
                The above is simply an opinion. Your mileage may vary. For immigration issues, please consult an immigration attorney.

                Comment


                • #9
                  the sadest thing is, u dont mention that u understood why she changed. U have been to Russia, dont u think it was a culture shock getting here. She I assume had a limited english language knowledge. Away from her friends, her family. It was a choice she made and she was having problems adjusting. Can u imagine the pressure inside her. Waiting to be able to work. Just serving u. I know how she feels. But i also know how u feel. Its so easy isnt it to call the police. Its so easy to divorce her. SHe got rid of everything in Russia, she has nothing to go back to, she cant even go back. Her kids are living now in a shelter after u broughtthem all over here. WOW what a great life they are living. And ur worried about the $!!!

                  U whine that she doesnt let u call the shots when she got here... she punched u in the face? HAHHAHAHA . She must have been going thru hell. Yeah she got put on anti depressants - i know if that was me i would feel a failure! instead of talking about u u u u u what about her. U pay ur ex 5500 and ur moaning about paying her 1500, she has to live, she has to work, she has 2 kids here because of u. ever thought of trying to understand HER - the woman u fell in love with is still there.... u just got to find her and to find her u have to show ur still the man she married. A punch in the face? At least she has a set of *****. Its so easy to slam her . If she was a scammer, she would have left u a long time before she did. If she was a scammer she would not have cared if u were home or not. She went to see a shrink when u should have BOTH been going to marriage councelling.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    marriage fraud? There is no fraud here!!! If he does that then she has to go and get another lawyer and guess who is paying.... HMMMM Her kids were here living in a house together. There is so much that do not point to marriage fraud. this isnt a russian bride he paid for. how the hell did he meet her in the first place."????

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      It serves you right. When you marry a person from another culture you have to know their culture well. She did not know what the real American life was going to be for her. Bear in mind you and all the Americans who want to marry Russians. Russian women love to come to America to find a rich guy and they to be the princess. They want and do their best to get the green card. They are not really fond of American guys at all, just they want to get the green card. Study more about their culture and the psychology of Russian women nowdays. Why did she go to the shrink? She was an actress to win her game. INS does not kick out somebody with mental problems. They are experts in reaching their goals. I think she is going to win what ever card you play. I fully understand your situation. Accept it as a lesson in your life. She did not want your child as later maybe she will get her ex to this country, like some other Russian divorced women have done when they came to USA.

                      Good luck!

                      Comment

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