I've no clue about the immigration process. I respect your decision to put the brakes on her. At least your thinking intellectually and not emotionally.
May I ask about the Sept 2005 vacation and marriage in Sept 2005. Those are the two dates given. You married her on the vacation?
This apparently wealthy family? Her falling from grace into poverty? Do you think these people could have been paid off to depict themselves as her wealthy family? That would've instilled financially secure thoughts in your mind upon initial meeting. Needless to say, you've been had.
You give me the impression you're just an everyday good 'ol guy that they targed. Somebody had been studying you for a while before approaching you with this. You were their target.
Wow, what a game to play. I can just imagine how many more melodramatic stories are floating around out there in cyberspace yet to be told.
I'm sure there's many members that will be advising you. Good luck.
this is one of those where u think it cant get better and it does, and ur sat there scratching ur head in bewilderment. I want to see i got this right, someone asked u to marry someone for the purpose of her getting to usa legally and in the end bringing her son over. An Immigration Scam!!!! and then we wonder why we have so much trouble with the corridors of hell (USCIS) They use money as the bait... she is "rich" they treated u like "royalty" she had "social class" You know that something is not quite right on top of whats not all right anyway but ur hanging in there and were going to complete the farce ... I read a lot of financial issues in this post. You have convinced urself that somewhere there is money ...How about this scenerio. This whole operation wasnt a spur of the moment thing, the family in China will do anything .... to get to the USA, they see the future for the Son as more adventagious here. They use all their savings, everything ... to give a good impression. By not going right thru to the end u probably have ruined this family financially..... ur not the innocent victim here.... They bring their victim (you)(now that makes me ****) over and shower u with the illusion of wealth. They know its going to impress u. Lets face it in America u either have it or u dont, and if u dont u admire those that do. ..U say ur street wise..u met her ONCE!!! They did not want to originally pay for the second trip maybe they used all thier money in this SCAM for the first one.... Dont romantacise this whole sorry episode. You say u were tricked into this marrieage on false pretenses... what the hell were u expecting from it????? They told u up front she wants to get to america she would not be a burden on u.... She has studied the requirements well... letters, photos, calls... all in 2 visits and one of 2 days... Its not her u need to question its U?????? What were u doing? It is not love... it was premeditated FRAUD... AND U WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT????? I hope u dont have any sort of security clearance..... ... I would tell u to go to Immigration and tell them the whole sorry story... up to and including the name of the scam artist who is the immigration specialist..... Because this is in my eyes absolutely disgusting.. but i suppose if u did u might lose ur job as ur working for the government anyway. Had she really had money...had u had no doubts this woman would be packing her bags right now heading in this direction..... Makes u wonder if people have forgotten 9-11 so quickly. I dont want to sound mean and nasty but well I am just ANGRY!!! A chess game u say, dont insult my intelligence.... its not a chess game...ITS a nasty can of worms ....... U never left california u said... I hope to god u never do again.......Do u have any idea what you might have started.... any idea whatsoever.........
what scares me more... did u consumate the marriage.. u said u married her on ur 1st class trip in 2005....... i am just curious to know did u at least get laid??????????? u want to see china again ... go to china town....... MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally posted by halfLife2: questions are how can I stop her from proceeding into the county after or before she has interview in Guangzhou china.
I've been told at all cost make sure she does not enter the us otherwise she can really do me a lot of damage if she wants to ,... and I believe that could happen.
So I looked into filing a annulment and I do have grounds the filing will cost me $400 I was told but then they said I would have to pay a $1000 to have her served in china ......wtf ?
so my options there is that I could swing the filing but not the service right now unless someone out there can work out some kind of payment plan for me. ?/ help.
1. Send an e-mail to the visa services desk in Guangzhou, China and explain the situation. This will get to the FSO (Foreign Service Officer) that would interview her and she would be denied entry visa. 2. Do not buy her the ticket. 3. There is not that much damage she can do if she arrives in the US.
As with the immigration situation. 6 months is way too short of a time frame for someone to immigrate from China to the US. It is more like 2 years if they are married to a USC. Second, wining and dining a family in China may be expensive from a Chinese point of view, but not to an American point of view. I have taken my wife's family out to eat in Guangxi Provence several times, feeding up to 26 people, and paying only $200 total. This would include shrimp, chicken, vegetables, Chinese beer, tea (that part is free), and karaoke. Third, I think you are not understanding Chinese culture. Lets take the marriage. It is probably came from her family to get her married first before you leave. There are two main reasons for this. One the family may have strong feelings about pre-marital ***. Marriage would take care of that. Second, the family may be looking out for the daughter if they suspect you say one thing and do another. If you indicated a strong will to marry her, they would see no difference whether it was in China or in the US. Also keep in mind, that a Chinese marriage would tell the community their daughter is now married. There may be some consequence from particular segments of the community, but not much. Personally, I think you do not understand Chinese culture at all. Your post reflects that.
Now, let us take the "spy vs spy" remark. Why would the Chinese government spend the time and resources to plant a spy with someone who is a low level government employee who has zero security clearance, and who is middle age and has basically no friends? That part does not make sense.
"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre
Originally posted by ntfd3: what scares me more... did u consumate the marriage.. u said u married her on ur 1st class trip in 2005....... i am just curious to know did u at least get laid??????????? u want to see china again ... go to china town....... MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This has to do with Chinese cultrue. There are families who would "demand" that a marriage ceremony would be required if the two wanted to get married. It would have been something where the family would approve the marriage and tell the community that their daughter is now married. In some circles in China, foreign marriage, that is a marriage in the states, does not give final clearance that the daughter is now married.
"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre
Originally posted by halfLife2: ... i need to know if its possible for her to clear the interview and get over hear without my signing the affidait of support form ?
can she show on her own that she can support herself without my help and waive that from im suppose to sign..
You are a sponsor...I have never heard that someone completed the interview without having the affidavit of support from the sponsor. No, she can't sponsor herself. However, we don't know how far the people involved in this may go...I don't think forgery is off their list
Do you know where the petition is? Still in the US, at NVC stage? In addition to not signing anything any more for her, you should send a formal letter to USCIS (service center, NVC, and embassy if you are not sure at what stage the process is) informing them that you are withdrawing the petition (I-130, I-129 etc). And then follow up, making sure the process is stoped.
In cases like yours, I would also recommend reporting the scamers to the authorities, and put them out of the business... but, before you do that, check with a lawyer how do you want to do it, since you may implicate yourself big time (you did receive a "reward" for doing a "favour").
Originally posted by halfLife2: ... i need to know if its possible for her to clear the interview and get over hear without my signing the affidait of support form ?
can she show on her own that she can support herself without my help and waive that from im suppose to sign..
You are a sponsor...I have never heard that someone completed the interview without having the affidavit of support from the sponsor. No, she can't sponsor herself. However, we don't know how far the people involved in this may go...I don't think forgery is off their list
Do you know where the petition is? Still in the US, at NVC stage? In addition to not signing anything any more for her, you should send a formal letter to USCIS (service center, NVC, and embassy if you are not sure at what stage the process is) informing them that you are withdrawing the petition (I-130, I-129 etc). And then follow up, making sure the process is stoped.
In cases like yours, I would also recommend reporting the scamers to the authorities, and put them out of the business... but, before you do that, check with a lawyer how do you want to do it, since you may implicate yourself big time (you did receive a "reward" for doing a "favour").
According to the OP, the wife is still in China and has not made it to the US yet.
"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre
Hudson, the thread stated he was approached to marry a chinese woman of financial status with the sole purpose of getting her legally to the states, and then her son would be following her. He was the appropriate candidate because gullible is a word i would like to use. He was waysided by money. The whole thread is about $$$s. Her family wined and dined him... not the other way around. He went over there to meet a rich girl for the possibility of marriage .. and further down he mentions she would cover even his living cost once she arrived in the USA...all was ok until she said...she has been livng in poverty... then it went south fast.......SCAM from begining to end... Chinese culture demand that a marriage ceremony take place if the two wanted to get married... of course.... The SCAM requires that they get married.. no wedding, no visa.... **** right they made sure. Its not about the marriage.... that is a **** farce. I dont think this is anything about chinese culture which i find fascinating by the way.....He aint going to buy her a ticket.. that isnt going to happen in this life time.. he couldnt buy his own... !!! jeeez.
I've no clue about the immigration process. I respect your decision to put the brakes on her. At least your thinking intellectually and not emotionally.
May I ask about the Sept 2005 vacation and marriage in Sept 2005. Those are the two dates given. You married her on the vacation?
This apparently wealthy family? Her falling from grace into poverty? Do you think these people could have been paid off to depict themselves as her wealthy family? That would've instilled financially secure thoughts in your mind upon initial meeting. Needless to say, you've been had.
You give me the impression you're just an everyday good 'ol guy that they targed. Somebody had been studying you for a while before approaching you with this. You were their target.
Wow, what a game to play. I can just imagine how many more melodramatic stories are floating around out there in cyberspace yet to be told.
I'm sure there's many members that will be advising you. Good luck.
it may be that way, or it may be that the family has abandoned the young woman. If the second is the latter, that could explain a lot of things. If it is the first, then one would need to look the financial situation before and after. It may be that the family may have not invested wisely, the government shut down their business, or one of the family members may have gambled (gambling is a major problem in China).
As for the marriage, I believe this was cultural. It may be that the family would have "demanded" a wedding before the girl got into bed with a western man. There are fears in certain circles that western men would only want to sleep with the daughter on a false pretense of some future marriage that would never take place and not marry after the guy returns to the US, the land of gold. If this is the case, this would also explain a lot.
"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre
Originally posted by ntfd3: Hudson, the thread stated he was approached to marry a chinese woman of financial status with the sole purpose of getting her legally to the states, and then her son would be following her. He was the appropriate candidate because gullible is a word i would like to use. He was waysided by money. The whole thread is about $$$s. Her family wined and dined him... not the other way around. He went over there to meet a rich girl for the possibility of marriage .. and further down he mentions she would cover even his living cost once she arrived in the USA...all was ok until she said...she has been livng in poverty... then it went south fast.......SCAM from begining to end... Chinese culture demand that a marriage ceremony take place if the two wanted to get married... of course.... The SCAM requires that they get married.. no wedding, no visa.... **** right they made sure. Its not about the marriage.... that is a **** farce. I dont think this is anything about chinese culture which i find fascinating by the way.....He aint going to buy her a ticket.. that isnt going to happen in this life time.. he couldnt buy his own... !!! jeeez.
There are several points in his explanation that I find disconcerting. First he says he met his wife through a friend, but does not remember how she approached him. But he does remember some of the details of the conversation though. This does not make sense and I think the guy is hiding something here like maybe the Chinese girl was an acquaintance. Second, Chinese women do not approach western men on a routine basis. They tend to be shy and stay within the Chinese camaraderie unless that person is extremely westernized. Third, if we are to believe this was a scam, it is much easier, less time consuming, and less risky to come on a K1 visa than a K3. K1 takes about six to nine months to get approved and the wedding would have taken place in the US. Then the person could make up a charge to get immigration benefits. If they do the K3 route, it is more risky, more time consuming, and more expensive to the scam artist. This also does not make sense. fourth, if it was a scam, they would not have changed the story so quickly so fast. That would cause doubt to the gullible guinea pig here.
I don't think this is a scam. It does not fit the profile; however, I have not discounted the possibility either. Nor do I believe it is a spy thing either as previously stated in my reply to the OP. But I think the guy was looking for something to help him take care of his expenses and thought the Chinese lady would be it (that is the girl takes care of the guy and not the other way around).
The family wining and dining him can be explained by Chinese culture. The question becomes whether this was a scam, but why would the story change so fast in so short of a time? Or was this legitimate which would lead the the question why the sudden turnaround. Other events can also be explained culturally too and makes more sense if it was a legitimate offer. It does not exactly make sense (because this is expenses being incurred before the money comes) if this was a scam. Normally, they would do the hotel and flight, not first class though and process the paperwork. They would probably not do the wedding, the wining and dining, and changing the story.
"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre
Oh I agree.. i think he saw the meal ticket!!!! frightens me tho that he was so comsumed by the mention of $$$$ he jumped for it. Now it might mean he has to maybe dig into his own pocket he is back tracking. If it is that we are to take his word on the whole thing then it worries me that it could have turned out to be not so harmless and only a visa. terrorists can also be women.....The spy thing... yeah right... not in this life time. more to this than meets the eye. Maybe if he portrays it like he has he might be pulling on heart strings to get the payment plan he is seeking... Maybe i have become heartless but this smells nasty.
Thank you for bringing it to my attention about the cultural aspects. I'm aware but not fully knowledgeable about the convential aspects of their culture. To a certain degree credence should be paid to that.
Alluding to ntfd3's posting this was more than cultural protocol. It was a well-thought out scheme. I can still think that culture beliefs and traditions played a part but only minutely so.
Yes, you're absolutley right. The family might have used all their resources, etc. Can't rule that out since we don't know for sure. When I make a response I try to begin with what's at hand before I make too many suppositions. I wait until I know a little more about the issue. That's one reason why I didn't think about what you brought to my attention. Your input did open my eyes more.
The history evolved to her not having money. They had a solid base to start presenting wealth (the pretense she wouldn't be a financial burden) because they knew if they pursued him, he'd contend he couldn't financially take care of her. The stage was set. His mind was put at ease.
After it was all said and done, reality came about, he got the bait and there she is, destitute and will be dependent upon him.
That's what I'm seeing here. I respect and believe halfLife2. He seemed adamant about not being able to support her in the very beginning. He was honest in saying so. I don't see where he was searching to benefit from any real financial gain. He just didn't want a financial burden placed on him of a magnitude he couldn't handle. He's been consistent in what I believe was the truth from the beginning.
I've known a lot of guys that haven succumbed to the evil machinations of women. Everyone wants companionship. I don't want to be judgemental.
Fortunately he can receive good advice from all regarding the steps he must now take.
Explora, you are right here. I agree with you a hundred percent. You don't pity either side here just as you wouldn't pity when a scammer gets scammed. It's kind of funny that it's hard to sympathize with any one of them.
A note aside: see, it is not only the poor foreigner/ immigrant searching for better life. If an American is poor and has an opportunity, even a perceived opportunity for a financial/lifestyle gain, they take it. And they do break the law for the personal gain. So how come only the immigrants get the punishment when they break the law? I think the American part is to blame equally, as seen in this case, and should be punished accordingly, for committing the fraud.
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