Words from someone that has not walked in the shoes of someone used for PR, obviously!

quote:

Originally posted by republicanwriter:

quote:

Originally posted by SeanPatrick:
I am curious how a residency seeker can sleep with someone, have children and put forward an act for years just to acquire U.S. residency. It must take a toll on the soul of residency seekers to prostitute themselves for U.S residency.

There is a saying that you have to hate someone before you can divorce them. I think it is unfortunate that your divorce spun out of control. Watch a couple nights of Nancy Grace and you can thank your lucky stars for VAWA and be glad you didn't end up in a shoe box in your next door neighbors dumpster. There is always a person who has it worse than you.

"re-living it" on this board probably does not do well for your soul either.

Judging people from other cultures by our standards of "morality" if you will or our "rule of Law" is a bit dicey. We are in a totally different place on Maslovs Hierarchy of Needs than 85% of folks on this planet. We are in Luxury Mode and they are in "survival mode".
Its a totally different language that we cannot speak or ever hope to comprehend.

Its quite unfortunate that you had a horrible divorce. For your own mental health and well being I suggest you stop talking about it and move forward in a positive direction. Wounds either heal or fester. Pick One.

quote:

Originally posted by davdah:
Put up the money if you have it and I'll provide the answer. BTW, your skating on thin ice again. If you want me to leave your wife out of any debates then reciprocate.

This was a response to your "VC joke" posting in another thread. Again, it was sarcasm, a joke, humor, etc.

quote:

As far as cooperation goes, sure. But that only works if the other person wants to. I never got the impression his X was going to play fair. Why sould he leave himself vulnerable yet again?

Yes and no. Let me explain. Is the estranged spouse reacting because that spouse knows how the other spouse will react if divorce is eminent irregardless of the reasons? And if so, is it not prudent to go for the jugular? There is a right way and a wrong way to approach things, Davdah.

Again, the facts that Sean was arrested for an assault, even though he was "proven not guilty," is viewed differently in divorce court. The fact remains, Sean made a mistake. With him attempting to blame everyone but himself for his behavior is not helping him. He can go along way by offering compromises which will help him in the long run. It will also not make him vulnerable. Also, Sean has stated the other spouse has one of the cars. This would mean that he has two or more. With his inability to keep a job because of his background, there is at least, a financial issue involved. But he must adhere to the court's order. Through disclosure, he could offer the wife to take over the payments of the car by refinancing. At least, that will get the car out of his name and lower his cash flow that he disparately needs.

Dissolution of marriage is much more about division of property than it is about "getting your day in court" (from your own words I believe.)

If you have a grievance with me then give it to me. Leave her out of it.

I don't think this guy is 100% not guilty(OJ reference). But under the circumstances it is apparent his X was up to no good early on. Why should he bear the burden of her mistake. I'm being polite saying that perhaps she changed her mind once she got here. More than likely its more sinister. Regardless, it should not be his cross to carry. She should be the one making amends and trying to make him whole again. She isn't. She wants what she thinks she is entitled to. Legal or not, its immoral and reprehensible. In the end he will be left with less than what he started. Who is going to give him back the years wasted on a lie? Her lie. That should have a much larger price than simply walking away or cooperating with her demands. As far as blame goes is it right to blame the victim? Who told the women to wear the short skirt or walk down a particular street at that hour. She asked for it, didn't she?

Most of it is about division of property. Its also about how you do it.

quote:

We always hear about marriage fraud because, well, it's fraud! However, I wonder if there are many marriages out there by consent, so to speak, when a certain person pays a US citizen to marry him or her to get the greencard. I am sure such cases don't make the news, but they have to be out there.... It is a significantly less expensive way to GC then through the investor scheme. 30-40K should probably do the trick. What do you think?

Actually, there is. I learned a few years ago of a Ukrainain couple that managed to cross the Mexican border illegaly, are living in the PA area, and presently they agreed between each other to pay someone to marry the husband so at least one of them can be "on track" persay...I actually see them on occasion (and it's a weird position to be standing in when you're surrounded by all their friends...)

And for your other comment:
For all of you whiners who complain about marriage fraud and try to blame the government – maybe you should be dating your own ugly kind instead of trying to marry women whom you have most likely chosen because of their looks and who are in most cases way out of your league as far as they appearance and brain go.
Only a hopeless loser would blame someone else, especially the government, for his own stupidity.

Your "kind?" What are you some kind of racist? Does this mean you're against, say a black and a white finding common ground and love between each other??? Please define, "your own ugly kind?"
I don't blame the government for my failed marriage at all, personally. Though I think if there was more time between "entering the states" and the "time alotted for marriage", perhaps I could have seen some red flag sooner. I blame my ex for keeping extremely dark secrets from me. I've learned that most Eastern Europeans have this dark side to them and always have. Most likely, always will due to parental values. My ex chose to keep her relationship with her first ex-husband a total secret. I was told he was abusive, incestive, and non-responsive to wanting children. Four years later, through the internet, they were making plans for the next two years....that's not the government's fault and it certainly isn't my fault, especially for falling in love with her. She said she was in love with me and wanted to marry me. I'm a good-looking guy, that works hard and has a good heart; she's a good-looking girl that had a plan in her her head with a dark heart - tell me where to find "my kind" and perhaps I wouldn't have considered other countries.

quote:

Originally posted by mikewh328:

quote:

We always hear about marriage fraud because, well, it's fraud! However, I wonder if there are many marriages out there by consent, so to speak, when a certain person pays a US citizen to marry him or her to get the greencard. I am sure such cases don't make the news, but they have to be out there.... It is a significantly less expensive way to GC then through the investor scheme. 30-40K should probably do the trick. What do you think?

Actually, there is. I learned a few years ago of a Ukrainain couple that managed to cross the Mexican border illegaly, are living in the PA area, and presently they agreed between each other to pay someone to marry the husband so at least one of them can be "on track" persay...I actually see them on occasion (and it's a weird position to be standing in when you're surrounded by all their friends...)

And for your other comment:
For all of you whiners who complain about marriage fraud and try to blame the government – maybe you should be dating your own ugly kind instead of trying to marry women whom you have most likely chosen because of their looks and who are in most cases way out of your league as far as they appearance and brain go.
Only a hopeless loser would blame someone else, especially the government, for his own stupidity.

Your "kind?" What are you some kind of racist? Does this mean you're against, say a black and a white finding common ground and love between each other??? Please define, "your own ugly kind?"
I don't blame the government for my failed marriage at all, personally. Though I think if there was more time between "entering the states" and the "time alotted for marriage", perhaps I could have seen some red flag sooner. I blame my ex for keeping extremely dark secrets from me. I've learned that most Eastern Europeans have this dark side to them and always have. Most likely, always will due to parental values. My ex chose to keep her relationship with her first ex-husband a total secret. I was told he was abusive, incestive, and non-responsive to wanting children. Four years later, through the internet, they were making plans for the next two years....that's not the government's fault and it certainly isn't my fault, especially for falling in love with her. She said she was in love with me and wanted to marry me. I'm a good-looking guy, that works hard and has a good heart; she's a good-looking girl that had a plan in her her head with a dark heart - tell me where to find "my kind" and perhaps I wouldn't have considered other countries.

Your attempt to depict Eastern Europeans as some kind of monsters "with a dark heart" is shallow and superficial. If you are a good-looking and successful fellow and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, then why do you have to look for romance abroad, where women could be easily tempted to marry any American just to escape miserable life in their poor countries? Or did you think that it is only the American women who for whatever reason don't take any interest in you, but as soon as you "get out there", into the wide expanse of the ex-Soviet territories, you would become a hit with the ladies?

Most American males that search for love in poor countries (why don't you try Western Europe, by the way) are older, not very successful guys who want to find an attractive woman, typically much younger than their own age. There is nothing wrong with that, I guess. As a man, I certainly can understand that. But don't expect any miracles. As a grown man, you should know that they don't happen. It's a s*e*x for citizenship deal and if you want to play that game, at least be realistic in your expectations and enjoy the ride while you can. Eastern European women are not evil: they are human, and as such are susceptible to temptations just as you are.

quote:

Originally posted by Byasha Struzhkin:
Your attempt to depict Eastern Europeans as some kind of monsters "with a dark heart" is shallow and superficial. If you are a good-looking and successful fellow and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, then why do you have to look for romance abroad, where women could be easily tempted to marry any American just to escape miserable life in their poor countries? Or did you think that it is only the American women who for whatever reason don't take any interest in you, but as soon as you "get out there", into the wide expanse of the ex-Soviet territories, you would become a hit with the ladies?

Most American males that search for love in poor countries (why don't you try Western Europe, by the way) are older, not very successful guys who want to find an attractive woman, typically much younger than their own age. There is nothing wrong with that, I guess. As a man, I certainly can understand that. But don't expect any miracles. As a grown man, you should know that they don't happen. It's a s*e*x for citizenship deal and if you want to play that game, at least be realistic in your expectations and enjoy the ride while you can. Eastern European women are not evil: they are human, and as such are susceptible to temptations just as you are.

I appreciated what you said here. Perhaps you're right..it's a s*e*x for citizenship kinda thing and I got wrapped up in it. I never thought of it that way.
Personally, it didn't matter to me whether the country was rich or poor - I really just fell for the woman I saw. She said she was in love with me and I believed her....stupid me???
And I did try Western Europe...no possibilities were there at the time I found my now-ex.

quote:

Originally posted by mikewh328:

quote:

Originally posted by Byasha Struzhkin:
Your attempt to depict Eastern Europeans as some kind of monsters "with a dark heart" is shallow and superficial. If you are a good-looking and successful fellow and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, then why do you have to look for romance abroad, where women could be easily tempted to marry any American just to escape miserable life in their poor countries? Or did you think that it is only the American women who for whatever reason don't take any interest in you, but as soon as you "get out there", into the wide expanse of the ex-Soviet territories, you would become a hit with the ladies?

Most American males that search for love in poor countries (why don't you try Western Europe, by the way) are older, not very successful guys who want to find an attractive woman, typically much younger than their own age. There is nothing wrong with that, I guess. As a man, I certainly can understand that. But don't expect any miracles. As a grown man, you should know that they don't happen. It's a s*e*x for citizenship deal and if you want to play that game, at least be realistic in your expectations and enjoy the ride while you can. Eastern European women are not evil: they are human, and as such are susceptible to temptations just as you are.

I appreciated what you said here. Perhaps you're right..it's a s*e*x for citizenship kinda thing and I got wrapped up in it. I never thought of it that way.
Personally, it didn't matter to me whether the country was rich or poor - I really just fell for the woman I saw. She said she was in love with me and I believed her....stupid me???
And I did try Western Europe...no possibilities were there at the time I found my now-ex.

Mike,

Just don't feel bad about yourself over this. You are not the first and not the only guy who was abandoned and tricked by a woman. That happens and you don't have to be an American to fall prey to females' tendency to always look for a "bigger, better deal", sometimes at any cost. Any relationship that is unequal in some respect (rich / poor, young / old) is likely to end up like that. Love is a thing from f*a*i*r*y tales – it happens but never lasts. People have to have common interests and common cultural frame of reference. Based on what I see, I would say that most young eastern European women ultimately end up trading their American husbands for a boyfriend from their own culture, because, as they often say, "Americans are boring". Cultural affinity should not be underestimated.

Don't feel bad. That can happen to anyone!

I love these people that blame the victim. NO ONE has a right to defraud anyone. What part of that do you not understand? Your socio- econoomic background, country of orgin, race, age, greed, Maslow hierarchal level, or whatever does not explain or justify raping and defrauding another human being. I have zero tolerance for all crimes; murder, rape, terrorism, larceny, assault, battery, etc; but marriage fraud is the worst crime of all - it involves all of these other crimes rolled up into one.

Several studies have proven that success rates of marriages to "mail order brides" is much higher than those to American women. And mail order brides are only a small percentage of foreign marriages. Based on this, it is reasonable to conclude that marriages between American men and foreign women are more successul than with an American woman.

Why marry a young beautiful foreign bride rather than an old ugly American woman? Many reasons. They can bear children. They are more attractive and slim. They are more educated and inteligent. They are not feminists. They dress better. plus 1000 other reasons.

I feel bad for the defrauded American victim. I know how it feels and I have come to this conclusion...

... how much worse would it have been had she been an American ? Sleeping with an overweight, ugly, stupid, card carrying-oprah winfrey watching- hillary clinton voting feminist? The scammer gets a green card; the American gets your house. Hmmm,,, which is worse?

I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me a mail order bride, or give me death !!!

Strange weekend this has been...posts gets more bizarre lol

Are you saying that your mother or any other female members of your family are fat and ugly SOM? That really is not a nice thing to say.

quote:

Are you saying that your mother or any other female members of your family are fat and ugly SOM? That really is not a nice thing to say.

My mother and sisters are disgustingly fat alcoholics and prescription drug addicts. They laughed at me for my divorce until their husbands followed my advice and dumped them for hot young mail order brides. Most of the women in my family are that way. I did have a cousin that is hot and we used to play with each other. My mother and sisters were even bigger fraudsters than my "wife". They stole my inheritance from what my father was to give to me which was much greater than what the "wife" got. I don't care; I make much more than they erver will and it was well worth it as an excuse for me to sever my relationships with them permanently. My sisters even got the houses that their husbands got for them and they even say it was worth it just to get rid of them. We are all better off than my brother who is married to a whale of a woman. When I was still attending family functions a few years ago, he would always gawk at my hot girlfriends. But he is trapped in he ll as are most American men.

Now it makes sense as to why you treat women like you do.
And my guess is that you are some really fit hot young man and being with an American woman is below yourself.
You really do love your countrymen don't you?

And if you marry a hot young mail order bride SOM? It's not marriage fraud is it? Oh no, you marry for love not just a foreign trophy to show off by your side.

quote:

Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:
Now it makes sense as to why you treat women like you do. And my guess is that you are some really fit hot young man and being with an American woman is below yourself.
You really do love your countrymen don't you?
And if you marry a hot young mail order bride SOM? It's not marriage fraud is it? Oh no, you marry for love not just a foreign trophy to show off by your side.

Exactly true ; this is a correct summary of the situation

Hello, I'm hoping you all can help. I believe my late father may have been a victim of immigrant marriage fraud and I now have to deal with it. My father passed away last May 2007 and a vietnamese family contacted me saying he married their sister who lives in Vietnam. This was a huge shock since my father never meantioned getting married, but one woman's name I did recognize. They were very nice to me in the beginning, but claimed that they have a stake in over half of my fathers' estate! In the beginning I did not dispute them and went along with an agreement to split everything and because I lived out of state and supposedly was unable to be bonded, I allowed the woman my dad had meantioned as his girlfriend(which was not the wife) to be the administrator of the estate. I truly felt they had my best interests at heart, however, soon after I returned home to GA., they no longer were nice to me and never sent me the stuff of my father's that they said they would! I had my suspicions about the whole situation, but could not substantiate my claims until a woman who knew my father and this family contacted me and confirmed that the marriage is, in fact, a fraud! She explained that the woman I allowed to be the administrator was my dad's g/f even though she herself is married. She also confirmed that my father married her sister as a favor to get her into the U.S. and is now trying to act as if the marriage was real to get my fathers' money!
We have been able to get a receipt # for a visa for the wife that had been denied, but even though we know that it was denied due to lack of proof that the marriage was real, we can't seem to get a hold of the agency we need to go through to get the actual denial letter! We also can not seem to find anyone who can pull up info on whether the marriage was ever registered in Vietnam or the U.S.. I now have a lawyer petitioning to get this woman out of the administratorship, but we need proof that the marriage is a sham so I do not lose what is rightfully mine! If anyone can help me to know who exactly I need to go to, it would be greatly appreciated! I have talked to so many people in the U.S. as well as Vietnam and I feel like I'm getting the run around! Thanks so much! If anyone would like to contact me personally about this matter, you may at cytheriawj3@yahoo.com .

lmao...you sooo need help LOL

Oh lord , no wonder even 911 gave up! ROFLMAO

New Here trying to reply with email and name but do not know how to email you privately

try clicking on the name of the person you wanted to response to and then press "invite a post

quote:

Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:
I would like to point something out though..a legal immigrant has to go through everything to enter the US, or before they obtain their GC.

Now a USC does not. So you could see this as..why doesn't a USC have the same treatment as a legal immigrant?

Example..I had to have a HIV test, STD tests, TB test (xray), and multi tests. Also had to have all my immunizations checked and updated, as well as have additional ones depending what my States requirements were.

I had criminal background check, medical, so on and son.
What did my husband have...zilch. (well actually I insisted he had STD and HIV test too which was was not very happy to do, but he did in the end).

When you marry someone in your own country, you don't usually do background checks etc. I am sure that a lot of people who marry, hide something from their past, whether petty crime or financial problems.
At least with a legal immigrant, because of the immigration checks have to be done. (Yes I know some apparently slip through going by a few stories on here).

We are born here so we don't need to go through these tests. But you have made an informed decision to come to my country and you better be disease free and not a criminal. We want good people in the country, not bad. We don't want a person with TB to enter the country and rest of us are affected. Get the point.

quote:

Originally posted by whiteUSCNeedsHelp:

quote:

Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:
Beverley, actually in a lot of countries it is very hard to get any back ground check on a person.

In UK for example, there is the data protection act, and its not like over here where you can quite easily look up people on the internet.



Criminal files etc are not for public record like here, so for any American it would be very hard to obtain records on people.

However saying that, before you are allowed to enter the US on a visa, you have to get a background check from the police. You have to submit that before you get your visa.
If a legal immigrant did do something criminally and didn't show up on police records, well there is obviously something wrong with their countries legal system.

We are born here so we don't need to go through these tests. But you have made an informed decision to come to my country and you better be disease free and not a criminal. We want good people in the country, not bad. We don't want a person with TB to enter the country and rest of us are affected. Get the point.

Who have we here? A reincarnation of Beverly?

WhiteUSC why are you bringing up this old quote??!!...Please DO NOT come here to start trouble NEWBIE!!!!!